Here’s why a woman who complains that you don’t spend enough time with her will often be excited & supportive when you take on a project or goal that could cause you to spend even less time with her in the future. As I say over and over, the most important thing you can do as a man to improve your success with women, is to become an ambitious man who relentlessly pursues his grandest goals and dreams. When a woman complains that you don’t spend enough time with her because of work, training, etc., it’s not that she is complaining about those specific activities, but that she feels you are not spending enough time with her because of those activities.
The worst thing you can do is to rearrange your life or your purpose to accommodate her because you are trying to avoid upsetting her. The proper way to handle it is to simply make the time to romance her properly. A lot of men make the mistake once they get into a relationship of putting work, career, business, friends, etc. in the way of spending as much time with their women, as they used to previously. In other words, since they feel their relationship is on autopilot and everything is great, they feel it’s okay to spend less and less time with their women, and more and more time on their purpose.
Guys who are married with kids are often the worst offenders. They become roommates with their wives because they stop dating them. The following is an e-mail from a reader whose girlfriend previously complained that he spent too much time on his martial arts training. However, now that he has decided to compete professionally, not only was she not upset, but she actually supported it even though she knows he will spend even more time training now. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Hello again Corey!
Thanks for your insight on my last email! Glad my understanding of the methods you teach have become a part of who I am. I have an interesting question for you now; as you know, I have an extensive background in martial arts and although I don’t compete, I sure train like a do; 6 days a week! The other day I decided to get competitive in both Boxing and Judo! While I had no aspirations to compete initially, I felt a need to challenge myself outside my own dojo/gym. With my level of dedication, time spent w/my girlfriend can be reduced and she has told me before that I spend too much time training.
(Translation: “You don’t spend as much time with me as I’d like, and I think it is because you spend so much time training. You need to spend more time romancing me.”) I expected a “storm” when I told her my plans to start competing & oddly she was 100% supportive! (There is nothing odd about it. Women get turned on by a man when he gets into his purpose and mission in life with a passion. When he expands who he is.)
She wants me to go for it & make it happen! (That’s awesome! Women who support you and your purpose are essential. If you are with a woman who does not support your purpose and who you are, then it’s time to move on) While it’s great to have her backing me on this new adventure, I’m wondering “why the change?” (No change. She supports your purpose like a good woman should.) I explained to her that it would mean more training, but she didn’t even flinch. Is this an “in the moment” response? (Nope. Ambition is a sexual attraction trigger switch for women.)
Did I flip an attraction switch? (Yep, simply by having dreams and goals… and… taking action to make them a reality. The more successful and happy you become, the more you will fill her up with this energy; that’s what she craves… your strength.) Just wondering what you think here. (You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; While others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before.” ~ Herodotus