Women Can Be Ruthless & Mean When They Lose Respect For You

How to avoid the dark side of women who have lost respect for you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how his relationship of 6 years slowly broke up when he got complacent and completely strayed from what he learned in 3% Man. His ex-girlfriend lost respect for him and became ruthless and mean leading to them breaking up and no longer talking. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter Members Only Newsletter is going to be, “Women Can Be Ruthless & Mean When They Lose Respect For You.”

Case in point, this particular email. So this email is from a viewer who has been a student for seven years, but it looks like he kind of stopped being a student when he got into this relationship with his now ex-girlfriend about six years ago. And she broke up with him. And then for like the last year, it’s kind of like been back and forth. It seems like mostly he’s just kind of been stuck in friend zone and been trying to get her back.

And at some point, like I said, it looks like he followed me before he met this girl. Read The Book a few times, didn’t really, you know, like I said, he read it a few times, he didn’t really take it seriously when I said to read it 10 to 15 times. And then it’s pretty clear that he totally got away from the premise of The Book. And so there’s lots of things in here that she just said and did, that if he just spent a little bit more time as a better student, he could have avoided these things.

But what I like about his email, is that, you really get to see how like when a woman is hurt emotionally, she’s not rational. She’s like seeks revenge. And when they don’t respect you and don’t really care anymore, they can really be fucking nasty, insufferable and just horrible to you.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

Thank you for all your work. I have been a student for 7 years now and apparently not a very good one. I’ve been through the book a few times.

Yeah, when you’ve been following me for seven years and you got through it a few times, and I would venture to guess those few times were probably seven years ago when you first came across it. A lot of guys do that. They read The Book a few times, they watch a bunch of videos, they get laid left and right, and you’re like, “Man. I’m a fucking ladies man now. I got it. I don’t understand why Corey says you’ve got to read this 10 to 15 times. That’s absurd. Who reads a book 10 to 15 times. That’s ridiculous.”

And so they don’t learn what they need to learn, and then they don’t take the time to go back through The Book once or twice a year to keep it fresh. And then they just kind of slowly go back to sleep.

I’ve been through the book a few times and watched hundreds of videos but failed to apply some crucial principles that ultimately lead to pain and suffering.

Well, as Confucius said, “Success depends upon prior preparation, and without said preparation, there is sure to be failure.” Because if you’re a good student, you should be doing the dumping. You shouldn’t be the one getting dumped. If you’re a lousy student, you’re going to get dumped. That’s what happens to most guys. Women do the dumping at least 75% of the time with divorce and breaking up. It’s usually the girl.

I met my girlfriend of 6 years at work and used all of the techniques in the book to make her fall head over heels for me. Where I fucked up was I overlooked her red flags.

Well, the idea is you read The Book and you apply it. You read The Book and you apply it. You meet and you date other women, and you get to see the patterns that I describe in The Book. You see them in your own life over and over and over again. If you just get serious with the first cute girl that comes along, and you never go back to The Book, well, over time you’re basically just going to go back to sleep because whatever you observe, you participate in.

And if you’re only consuming movies and TV and traditional media, well, you’re slowly brainwashing yourself into going back to sleep and acting unattractive. Acting unmasculine, because that’s what we’re taught in the culture.

She told white lies, got fired for stealing from our job, cheated on her ex-husband. I was 7 months in when I found out, and just a devious person.

So this guy is dating this chick for seven months, “Oh, by the way, I’m married and I’m cheating on my husband with you.” It’s like, “Oh, well, that’s great. I’m really appreciative of the fact that you told me after seven months.” And she probably said, “oh, he’s such an asshole. It’s been over for a long time.” And he was like, “okay, sounds good to me. It’s good explanation. I’m okay with that.” If she cheats on him, she’ll cheat on you.

These bad qualities were not usually aimed at me because she was in love. She was my first real love and I thought I was different.

Yeah, I used to think that way too, until reality gave me a big smack across the face. But. And a swift kick in the ass. That’s how reality is. Reality bites.

Big shocker, I’m not. 

I’m not shocked.

We helped each other grow and we ended up living together for a few years, had two beautiful dogs and loved each other very much. I got complacent! 

Yeah, no shit Sherlock. This is as predictable as the Sun coming up in the East and setting in the West.

I pushed her to get a job in real estate which turns out she’s highly successful at.

Well, good for her.

About a year later, my career took a turn for the worse. I quit my job as a finance manager at a dealership and got my mortgage loan officer license.

Well, I would imagine once the real estate market went the other way in 2022, 2023, being a loan officer, a lot of business dried up, or most of it dried up. It’s still pretty dried up.

For a year and a half I was under tons of pressure, didn’t have my shit together and acted like a bitch.

Well, as I always say, if you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. If you’re not worthy of worthy of respect not only are they not going to treat you with respect, you’ll probably get abused. Character is destiny. And if she was fucking cheating on her husband for seven months with you and you had no idea she was even married, and then you stayed with her, well, that’s a you problem.

I started drinking a lot, lost a couple of really close friendships, and argued with her all the time, what a dumbass!

Like men who understand women don’t argue with them. It’s right out of The Book. But you read it a few times, seven years ago, so you never learned the relationship stuff. And it doesn’t sound like it really mattered because you were goo goo gaga and only focused on the fact she was in love with you and you ignored all the bad character flaws. But when she’s in love with you, she’ll tell you all her bad character flaws and everything because she, just like you’ll probably most of the time will put up with it. But when she’s out of love and she doesn’t respect you anymore, the knives come out.

You could be dealing with a Judas goat. Very bad. How’d that work out for Trump in his first term? Man, they just knifed him in the back constantly. They’re still trying to do it now. But for the most part, it looks like he’s been pretty good at bobbing and weaving and getting these bad people out of his circle because he gets called out in Twitter when he says, “oh, we’ve nominated so and so.” And if people go berserk on Twitter and a few days later it’s like, “well, so and so is no longer going to be a part of my administration.” So that’s good.

She obviously moved out. I tried to plead with her to stay but it was no use.

Yeah.

She had lost respect and trust in me. 

Elvis has left the building, as they say.

Here’s where it gets juicy.

Oh.

I was offered a chance to get my job back in January ’24 and jumped on it. Back to square one.

Well, as T.S. Eliot said in his poem Little Gidding from 1943, I think it was. “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time.” Life is a circle, after all.

Through this time she never really committed to No Contact and I was able to keep her in my life, but I wouldn’t stop arguing with her!

Bro. Come on man.

I still felt I had lost a life I built and loved and for a year tried to get her to move back in with me and be a good teammate.

Well, yeah. This guy read The Book seven years ago and never went back. There’s no way you’ve been following me for seven years continuously. He got away from the principles and he got a blowtorch on his booty by his now ex-girlfriend. She burned his ass good.

The harder I tried, the more she would do things like lie, talk shit about me to her friends, tell people she was single, all around low character behaviors.

Yeah. She just didn’t respect you. Women cannot love a man they don’t respect. And if you’re chasing after her and groveling after a woman like this, what the hell do you expect her to do?

When I would back off, she would constantly come dip her feet back in the water but would never dive in. 

Because you wouldn’t back off consistently. Because again, you were a shitty student, as you said, and didn’t actually learn what was in The Book. You learn enough in the beginning, seven years ago, to get access to the pussy and to get her in love. But once she was in love, you thought you’d made it and you were done, and you never went back to The Book or the videos. And over time, she started to dominate you in the relationship. You turned into her bitch, and she abused you.

I was not perfect as I had the same flaws in the past but now I am really committed to living with integrity. Dodged a bullet. For all of 2024 she made me feel like I fucked everything up.

Well, the word lead means to go first. And you are the one with the penis, after all. Hopefully. So it’s on you. And technically, it is your fault because you’re the man. You chose to date her. You invited her into your life. You invited her to live with you. So that’s why if you’re the leader, you’re the guy. The buck stops with you. That’s plain and simple. So, you know, you can say who’s going to hold women accountable. But, I mean, you led her down this path. So again, that’s why she blames you. Because really, technically, it was your fault. This was your best thinking at the time.

She made me feel like I fucked everything up and it was on me to fix it when she’s the one that left.

Well, you were chasing after her, which is the exact opposite of what I teach. I mean, when I look through your behavior with this woman, you may have been following my book in the first few months you were dating her seven years ago. But for the last six years, you know, you’ve been out alone in the wilderness, just not even living remotely close to anything that resembles what I teach in The Book or my videos, or in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. And so that’s on you. So when your ex girl says it was all your fault, it really was all your fault.

Because as the late, great Don Shula said, “Strong men blame themselves, weak men blame others.” And so when you see people in certain communities on the internet always talking about modern women and crying about modern women and body counts, and they all suck. No, it’s the guys doing all the bitching, it’s on them. Their best thinking is not good enough, but as long as they keep blaming the women for their problems, there’s nothing to fix. There’s nothing to learn. There’s nothing to solve. They can’t do anything about it. They’re an object, not a subject. Life just happens to them. And life isn’t fair. Boohoo.

She never tried to make us work and I totally overlooked that.

Well, that’s what happens when you are a shitty student.

I put up with her calling me names, lying to me, blocking and unblocking, being her closet boyfriend, and never actually walked away.

Again. The Book’s not going to help you if you do the opposite of it. Or you read it for a few months, you get laid a few times and think you’re a ladies man, and then you just completely ignore all this. The lying and the deviousness and the blocking and unblocking and the lack of effort and you complaining and arguing. Probably because all the arguing was she didn’t want to fuck him. She wasn’t spending enough time with him. She didn’t take the relationship seriously, and he was just acting like an attractive man that he had initially learned how to be by reading The Book. That got him the girl in the first place. And so she just thought he was a bitch. So that’s why she treated him that way. She didn’t respect him.

She stayed the night at my house on Christmas Eve and we got in a small argument over breakfast. She said “Bob, I really love you and care about you”.

Well, that’s nice, but what are her actions show?

And left. I called her to apologize, and she agreed to come over later that night. Around 10PM she texted me, “Babe I drank too much I should stay home”. My Spidey sense has never failed me. I drove to her place and found my ex best friend (who I hadn’t spoken to in a year) and the new coworker she tried to rub in my face during an argument sitting on her couch. 

Oh, so she invited two dudes over. Two beta males. Two beta males, one was an ex-friend.

I said, “I’m good” and left. She then blocked me on everything and I haven’t heard a word from her since. Hope he is better at dealing with her bullshit than I was. 

Well, you didn’t follow The Book. What do you expect? I tried to save you all this trouble, but you didn’t listen. That’s on you, bro. As Jocko Willink says, “discipline equals freedom.” Be humble or you will be humbled. And he was not disciplined with The Book and learning it, so shit went sideways.

It’s been really hard but the lesson is, I always knew she had low character and loved her anyways.

Well, as Ayn Rand said, “I believe you can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”

When she was happy she was great, but when she wasn’t, she was awful.

Well, it was your best thinking after all.

It was hard for me to maintain a peaceful air about me around her.

And I should have ended things sooner.

Well, masculinity is calm, and if you allow her to upset you all the time. Well, you’re acting like a bitch instead of a man, and she’s going to lose respect, and she’s going to get nastier and meaner, especially if she’s got low character. She’s going to get out the fucking blowtorch and [blowing sound.] She’s going to get out the flamethrower. You ever see those flame throwers from World War Two?  Oh, yeah. Burn it all down.

I am now 100% sober, working out, focused on work, and committed to living with 100% integrity. I’m reading the book once a week until it’s memorized.

I’ll believe it when I see it. Dude.

Thanks again for the lessons you share!

Bob

Well, even though it was awful what happened to you, and you did it yourself, hopefully, I would say I’m certain that there will be guys that will watch this and go, “whew, man. Thanks to that email, I totally dodged a bullet.” Because there are guys that are going to be watching this, and they’re in a situation just like this, and they’re being delusional.

And they’re being complacent and they’re not following instructions and they’re like, “Holy shit, man. That guy got burned. I don’t want to be like that guy. Some of that stuff is going on in my relationship. Let me get back to the basics in The Book.” Which is Free To Read in the Members Area of the Website. If you’re a free member at UnderstandingRelationships.com, you can obviously read The Book for free and should be reading it for free.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.