Women Who Constantly Accuse You Of Cheating Are Probably Cheating

Why women who constantly accuse you of cheating & disloyalty are probably cheating.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 24 year old viewer who got dumped by his abusive ex girlfriend. She constantly belittled, insulted and disrespected him and insisted that he was cheating with a 60 year old woman. This despite the fact she hangs out late at night with a male friend who is single. She originally lied and said he had a girlfriend. She has broken no contact and he wonders what to do. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Women Who Constantly Accuse You Of Cheating Are Probably Cheating”.

Well, as you may have heard me say many times over the years, and I also say in 3% Man, no one will ever do or say anything to you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. In other words, people project what’s inside. Especially in this particular case, this email. This guy’s 24. And I guess I think he said he’s a psychology student as well. And so his girlfriend clearly is abusive. She’s constantly insulting him, belittling him, disrespecting him, and accusing him of cheating with, apparently the 60 year old woman that introduced the two of them.

Meanwhile, she has a male orbiter friend who originally she said the guy had a girlfriend, and that comes to find out that that’s actually a lie. And so this guy’s girlfriend hangs out with his male friend, who she lied about, who’s actually single and doesn’t have a girlfriend till like three in the morning. And yet she’s constantly accusing him of doing things he shouldn’t do, screwing around with a woman who’s married, who introduced him, and she’s also 60 years old. So she’s clearly projecting what’s inside.

And so this poor guy, doesn’t know which way is up just because he cares about her. But her behavior is just so nutty and over the top. And on top of that, to just constantly accuse him of screwing around with a 60 year old woman who’s married, that just makes no sense. I would have to assume that this guy’s ex-girlfriend is also cheating and has been cheating. That’s why she’s adamant about constantly accusing him of it because she’s projecting what’s inside, because she’s the one that’s actually being disloyal in an effort to disassociate herself from it.

And I would probably have to assume, just based on his behavior she’s probably a bit of a narcissist as well. These are the kind of women that are dangerous to have in your life. They’ll wreck your confidence. They’ll wreck your self-esteem. They’ll make you doubt yourself. They gaslight you constantly. Just like a lot of the people on TV are constantly gaslighting us. I don’t know if you guys have seen any of the, uh, former press secretary for Joe Biden. She’s got a book she claims now she’s independent and left the Democratic Party. I’ve never seen anybody lie with the ease that she did, other than maybe Barack Obama.

And so we discussed this on the podcast last week. We had a clip. And so people are going, “hey, you didn’t see any evidence that Joe Biden’s decline?” Meanwhile, anybody that would watch the guy talk, you’re like, that dude’s clearly gone. There’s like, the lights are on, but nobody’s home. And she’s just, you know, when she talks, she’s closing her eyes when she’s speaking because she knows what she’s saying is just bullshit. And she just maintains the lie. I mean, she’s totally gaslighting everybody.

And the people that are interviewing her are also fellow Democrats. And they’re like, come on. She’s like, oh, no. And they’re also claiming that Joe Biden had as many press conferences as Trump, which the dude he hid all the time. And then when he did speak, he’s like, speaking gibberish, he couldn’t form a sentence. So that’s called gaslighting. And I would say based upon this email, this woman is gaslighting the hell out of this poor guy.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

Two weeks ago my ex and I broke up, as a student of psychology I suspect she has ADHD along with RSD, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

I have no idea what that is. But whatever.

The reason why is because she got extremely jealous over one of my coworkers when we used to have lunch together (but the way my ex and I work together. She really believes my coworker and I had something going on. Months passed and I even told her that I would stop talking to my coworker about personal stuff, then when I tried to be honest I told my ex that I talked to my coworker and she got furious.

She insulted me with sexual innuendos including my coworker, she told me, “I thought you would lead me and guide me, but not anymore”, she told me, “I hate you”, she called me “Stupid” and broke up with me horribly. While all those insults and goodbyes were happening, I tried to explain that my coworker and I were just talking about how to fix my relationship with her.

I mean, she is 60 and married. So you can understand if she’s got a healthy marriage. She’s been with her husband a long time. He’s probably asking for advice. Hopefully, the coworker said, that bitch is nuts, because she is. Not a healthy girl. This is not normal behavior. Looks like narcissistic abuse.

This coworker actually served as cupid when she introduced us over dinner, anyway, my ex was jealous over her, mind that our coworker is married, my ex even met her husband and the lady is 60 years old, she even told my ex “He is not my type!”

I mean, he’s 24. He’s not gonna date a 60 year old. It’s like, I don’t know, maybe she looks great. Maybe she looks like, um, who’s the actress in the UK? I can’t think of her name. Used to date. Uh, what’s his name? Hugh Grant. She looks amazing. She’s in her late 50s. Early 60s, I think. I can’t think of her name. English actress. She’s a model. Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled email. You can just see this is just so absurd. So this woman is not behaving rationally.

She’s totally emotional and she’s gaslighting the hell out of him. I mean, just it’s just an absurd thing. But the only reason why she would be jealous or upset and accuse him of cheating, even with a 60 year old, is because she’s the real problem. She’s projecting what’s inside. Probably deep down, she’s just worried that he’s going to find out that she’s a liar and a cheater, and she wants to maintain the illusion and the control she has over him.

While all this back and forth was happening, I discovered that my ex lied to me about her male coworker. She has an evening job as a server.

Shocking.

She told me that he was taken when in reality he was single.

So why would she lie to you about that? Because she hangs out with him.

They go out for drinks until 3:00 a.m. and have dinner together once in a while. “He is just a friend” kind thing.

Yeah, right. So that sounds like a date. I can understand if you’re at work and you’re having lunch with your 60 year old coworker and you’re 24, nobody in their right mind is going to go, oh, yeah, you’re boning her. It’s like, come on. Unless she looks hot.

After her lie was discovered, she slipped the lie during our conversation, she started to use deflection and trip guilt me.

It’s called gaslighting.

At the end of our last conversation, we said goodbye. This is my question, I may know what she is trying to do but I am not 100% sure and I need your powerful advice with this matter. I am sharing screenshots of my silence due to No Contact and how she keeps reaching out to me, mind you that she insulted me and treated me like nobody ever did in my entire life. I am not replying, not blocking her because I want to see how far she’ll go.

Well, I mean, you should be amused at this point, but you’re not going to fix this chick. And the fact that she broke up with you over this. I would add in the fact that she’s been hanging out with this male coworker until three in the morning going to dinner, that sounds like a date. So she’s probably the one actually doing the cheating. I wouldn’t trust her as far as I can throw her. I personally would not give her another chance because the abuse, it’s just not stopping and it’s probably not ever going to stop. And there’ll always be another guy that’ll put up with their shit. So.

I did look through his text exchange and it’s just basically her going, “hey. Reply. Why aren’t you replying? You’re being mean.” Kind of thing. It’s really not much in there to to go through, but normally if you go, No Contact and then the girl reaches out, then you set a date, but in this case where she’s dumped him because she’s adamant that he’s sleeping with the 60 year old woman who introduced the two of them was the matchmaker. And yet she’s the one hanging out all night with a guy who she lied about saying he had a girlfriend. And it turns out the whole time he was single.

And so they’re going to dinners, they’re hanging out till three in the morning, drinking. I would have to assume your ex-girlfriend was cheating on you probably the whole time. At the end of the day, that none of her behavior is acceptable. The abuse, it’s a deal breaker. You don’t take somebody like that back because you’re not going to fix it. If you try to sit and enforce healthy boundaries, then she just keeps violating them.

It’s like, well, there’s not a lot you can do. Her parents fucked her up, made her that way. She probably came from a broken home. May or may not have a Dad, probably doesn’t have a Dad in her life. Or if she did, he was probably a liar and a cheater and a gaslighter as well. Again, these are the kind of women who will wreck your confidence. They’ll wreck your self-esteem, they’ll make you doubt yourself. And it can take years to recover from a relationship like this.

So if I were you, quite frankly, I would never apply to any of her message. Just say, “It’s over. It’s done. You constantly accusing me of sleeping with my 60 year old coworker when you’re hanging out with your male friend who has been single all along and you lied and saying he was in a relationship. I don’t believe anything you say. I think you’re totally full of shit. You were abusive. You were a terrible girlfriend. I am not taking you back. No way in hell.” I personally, if I was you, I wouldn’t even reply to her messages. Eventually she’ll just go away. She wants to talk to you at work.

Just tell her, “Matter of factly, after the way you’ve treated me and the way you’ve abused me, and the fact that you hang out with this guy. Number one, I think you’re actually lying and cheating to me the whole time. So I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. I’m not giving you another chance. I don’t want to get back together with you. Let’s just keep it professional at work and have a nice life.” That’s it. That’s what you should do. I wouldn’t be getting involved with her because you’re not going to fix this girl.

Before I read you the texts, since we work together I really ignore her all day long, so yesterday she approached me and asked me, “Are you going to say anything?” For which I replied, “Do you need help with work?”

I mean really, you should just be keeping it professional because she can’t handle a personal relationship with you.

She looked sad, as if she was about to cry.

Well, she did it to herself. She’s a liar and probably a cheater.

I am not pretending to be nice, it sounds as if I am the bad guy but in our entire relationship, I never caused doubts, cheated or lied to her, she created a big whole mess over a salad one time that ended up not talking to me for three days.

Which that’s passive aggressive behavior. That’s not very loving. You can’t have an easy and effortless relationship with somebody that does that to you. That’s not nice. I say it all the time. You want a girl who’s nice to you, easygoing, easy to get along with. This woman is not.

She strongly believed that I threw it away, even tried to justify that I did when she found a droplet of water on the container.

Oh, man. Yeah, she’s totally dishonest. She’s disloyal. You can’t believe anything that comes out of her mouth. The only reason she’s going to lie about her male co-worker and say he’s got a girlfriend is because she’s probably fucking him, and she doesn’t want you to become suspicious. Again, that’s the absurdity of her accusing you of sleeping with your 60 year old female coworker who’s married and who set you guys up in the first place. It’s nuts.

My question is, if she broke up with me, why she wants me to talk to her?

Because she needs the supply. She needs the abuse. She needs somebody to abuse.

We can assume that she wants peace at work but she is at an event at her other job, her last two texts were sent during this time thus she is not thinking about peace at the workplace that we share.

Please Coach, help me understand, did No Contact work?

Well yeah, but you haven’t replied. Under normal circumstances, you would just say, “Hey you. Great to hear from you.” Make a date. Invite her over to make dinner. But in this case, with her attitude, her dishonesty or disloyal behavior, the constantly gaslighting you, abusing you and looks like she’s clearly been cheating on you. It’s like, no fucking way. I personally wouldn’t respond to any of the messages. And if she says, “Are you’re going to reply?”

It’s like, “No, because you ruined it. You ruined what we had. I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. Let’s just keep it professional at work and that’s it. We’re not hanging out socially. I assume you’re probably dating and sleeping with your coworker from the restaurant job, so I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth because you’re not trustworthy. You haven’t done anything to warrant me trusting you.” So be strong. Don’t take her back. Use what’s in the book. Learn from your mistakes. Don’t date girls that come from broken homes. You’re not going to fix them.

You’re not going to change them. You’re not going to fix this girl. Let her go and fuck that dude’s life up that she works with at the restaurant. But I wouldn’t give her the time of day. Keep it professional at work. And other than that, if she’s texting you after hours, I wouldn’t even respond. So under normal circumstances, you just make a date. But like I said in this one, you need to cut the cord and just stay the hell away from her because this woman is toxic to you and your life and your mission and your purpose. She’s not adding any value. She’s a fucking energy vampire. So on to the next dude. You can do way better.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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