I had a dream the other night that reminded me of my childhood back when I was in 3rd grade and had just moved down to south Florida with my family. Now I have no idea the random thoughts that I have sometimes, where this came from or why I had not thought about this incident in over 30 years.
Do you ever remember why you remember certain events at certain times? Well the day before I had been talking with a coaching client over the phone about a shared common experience all recovering “nice guys” have in some form or another. What is typical for guys who are just learning to understand what a woman really wants in a man and what he emotionally responds to in a relationship, is we all tend to contemplate… “what if” regarding every woman that got away or that we screwed up with in the past. We tend to replay all the times we screwed up with women and what we would have done differently had we known then what we know now.
Its really a bizarre experience and all guys I have coached over the years have the similar thoughts. Back to my dream that triggered me to remember this one incident. I was in 3rd grade. After school we were picked up by a daycare service. This old lady used to pick us all up (10-15 of us) after school and we would pile into her station wagon. Seat belts? What seat belts? Well I was sitting next to a really cute girl who was very friendly and touchy-feely (once we got back to the daycare center). As we sat at the table working on a puzzle or some other activity, she sat so close that her leg was next to and touching my leg. I remember how I thought to myself… “wow her leg is really warm and it feels so nice when she touches me with it.” I had no idea then how to handle my feelings of attraction for a girl. Hell, I was only 8 or 9. I felt really awkward and unsure of myself which only got worse as I got older. I really liked girls and had my first crush in kindergarden.
What I did not realize at the time was that this girl was sitting too close and touching me all the time because she liked me. Instead of a perfectly natural experience between a little boy and little girl, I felt shy, uncomfortable and unsure of how to handle it. By third grade I was already messed up emotionally and unsure of how to handle my relationships and interactions with girls. I was CLUELESS.
It was strange to all of the sudden remember something from over thirty years ago when I was a little kid. It made me feel good to remember something that was a cool memory of when a girl liked me as a kid. Its almost as if these types of memories come back to me and now that I know what I know, they can be properly catalogued as good positive experiences instead of ones that left me scratching my heard. Its as if a new type of software properly catalogues and re-organizes your memories into their proper context. Even awkward experiences are now properly re-classified the way they should have been with my new operating system or knowledge of why women do what they do. Much like my book “How To Be A 3 % Man” can help heal and properly re-classify a guys memories once he learns what women really want and emotionally respond to, my experiences and knowledge have kind of re-wired my brain to think of my life experiences in a new and empowering way.
Just like my life experiences and successes with women re-wired my brain to think like a guy who is successful with women thinks, my book “How To Be A 3% Man” can do the same thing for you.
Read it… apply it. It will work for you. Its in looking back with new knowledge and proper ways of thinking, that our past can help us make the correct choices in the present.
I love bumping into a woman who really digs me and who I really dig. Now instead of it being awkward and feeling weird inside… I can just say yes to her in response to her advances towards me, which causes her to feel comfortable and see what else she can get away with. I’ve learned to just accept women into my life and learn when and how to say yes to appear strong and not like a pleaser. When you can do that effortlessly, which I am confident you soon will (as you continue to apply more of what I teach), your whole world changes. Suddenly, chasing or wanting or desiring a woman becomes a daily game of you saying yes to some and no to others. If men would just hang back a little longer and make women feel comfortable and safe, women will go out of their way to show you how much they like you. All you really have to do is not talk her out of it. If you shut up and stop trying to talk your way into her pants, you will watch her talk her way into yours. I have found its much more fun to let them come for you 😉
Just create an opportunity for sex to happen. If you are terrified to ask for a chicks number, then make it a rule. You are not allowed to ask for a woman’s number. Instead you will offer yours in a way that is so disarming and comfortable, its the type of thing two old friends would say to one another. This thing, statement or “line”, whatever you want to call it, makes it easy for her to start chasing you from the moment you meet her.
My point is, women will chase you when they like you. If you make it easy and comfortable by properly hanging back, knowing when to say yes and encourage her… she will run after you and literally tear your clothes off. It will from the get go, allow her to come on to you at her own pace. When you know what to do, just hang back and watch her make you her man. Women are amazing!
Here’s how to offer your phone number. Say you are in a book store reading a book. A really hot female employee has been eying you. You’ve spoken to her the past few times you’ve been to the store. She always seems a little too friendly. You’re reading “Lone Survivor” by Marcus Luttrell a retired US Navy SEAL She says… “that’s a good book, I read it.” You think, cool! So you say… “hey Brooke, well, if you come across any good books in the future you think I should check out, send me a text.” If Brooke likes you she will say… “sure!” pull out her phone and say “what’s your number?” If Brooke has low interest in you she will say… “Sure!”, but the subtle difference that makes the difference is… she won’t pull out her phone.
Now you’ve offered your number just like a good friend would. When she calls or texts you, if she has not brought up getting together after 4 or 5 minutes of chatting, then ask her to meet out for a drink. Say “What days/nights/afternoons/etc. are you available this week?” Let her answer. Pick a day and time you are available also and tell her the place to meet at. It could be a Starbucks for coffee or cool place to have a drink. It’s up to you. Make definite plans, say “I’ll see you then” and get off of the phone. Keep it simple. If she’s chasing you, she can’t be getting rid of you. If you set it up properly, she will start chasing you and never stop (unless you screw it up).
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” – Tommy Lasorda