In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy in Northern Europe who details how he used my book, articles and videos to get his ex back four months after she dumped him, due to his numerous mistakes. When he started talking to her again, she tried to friend-zone him initially. He details what he did and said and how he passed her tests of his strength, so she fell in love after about eight weeks of dating. When she brought up being exclusive and asked him to be her boyfriend again, he explains how he did the takeaway to cause her to blow off all other men she was talking to. She told him that she had 950 matches on Tinder, but chose him over all others! He did a masterful job of re-attracting his girl. It’s a great example of how a guy can clean up his unattractive behavior and beliefs and turn a woman on, after turning her off to the point she no longer wanted him romantically. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
“A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.” ~ Luke 6:40
I’m a 23-year old guy from Northern Europe. English is my third language, so excuse me already. (That’s pretty impressive that you know three languages.)I got dumped by my girlfriend about 4 months ago. About three weeks after our breakup, I had no contact with her. No contact until she had the back-up key for my house. I was just about to move, so I had to get the key in order to get my deposit back from the landlord. Yeah, I know. I should’ve dealt with that during the breakup. At the same time, my mom died, so needless to describe how I felt. (That sucks to lose your mom at such a young age.)
She came over to my house to drop off the key. We talked for about 2 hours, and I went for the kiss. She turned me down and was confused and said she ONLY wanted to be friends. (This is the negotiation. This is why it’s so critically important to stand up for what you want and say, give me a call if you change your mind.)
I said “I’m not going to be your friend, I’m not interested in fixing your car or shopping with you. However, if you change your mind shoot me a text.” On the next day, which was Monday, I received a text saying, “I’d like to go out with you.” (What changed? You communicated strength. In other words, you got to a place where you recognized your own value, and you walked away. As former green beret, Michael Yon said, “The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.”)
I told her, I’m unavailable until Saturday, and set a date. On Wednesday, she sent me text saying, “How are you doing?” I replied “I’m doing awesome, but let’s talk about that on Saturday. I can’t wait to see you. Good night.” (Perfect. You gave her time and space. If you get into a texting exchange, what do you think is going to happen? She’s going to get familiar, and you might slip up or say something trying to be funny, and talk her out of going on the date. But instead, you’re busy. Scarcity creates value.)The date went well. I took her to eat some sushi, and then I took her to my house. I kissed her, and this time she gave me no resistance. (It was her idea to get together, so there was no resistance.) She spent the night in my house, and we had sex 4 times.
Three days after that, I cracked and sent her a text. Bad move I know, I know. (If it was her idea to dump you, it’s got to be her idea to rekindle things. You can get away with this, because her interest is high, plus you hooked up and had sex four times. But if you continue to do this, you could go into over-pursuing, needy type of behavior and get friend zoned. If you let her come to you at her pace, it is her idea.)
Me: “When are you available for a date.”
Me: “I can’t do tomorrow, how about Saturday?”
Her: “I’m not sure about Saturday or Sunday, are you sure you cant make it on Friday?” Testing me I guess
Me: “I can’t do it on Friday”
(She’s definitely testing your strength. If you said one thing and then did another, you wouldn’t be congruent with your words. Then she would be thinking, is he playing games with me? And then that will piss her off, which will really give her a reason to cancel the date.)Me: “So can you make it on Saturday or not?”
Her “Well I’m not sure.”
(What do you do next? The takeaway. She’s the woman. She’s the one that submits to you, and that’s what you want. You’re communicating that in your words. You’re winning through intimidation.)
Me: “Okay lets do it some other time, let me know when you know your schedule.”
Her: “Well… you… know… I’m down for sex.”
Me: “I’m down for sex as well, but only if you know the time and day for sure.”
(With this you’re communicating your value. You’re saying, I want to see you, but my time is valuable.)
Her: “Can you pick me up right now from downtown?”
Me: “Well, I’m not a cab driver except if my house is your destination.”
Her: “Take me to your house”.
(She submitted to what you wanted. It was all a test of your strength, because you really shouldn’t have reached out. But you got away with it in this particular case. It was a test of your strength and you passed. Obviously, something is completely different with you, and that is why she totally submitted to you. It made her hot for you.)
Art of the deal, huh? (Good fucking job dude. Way to be a man. And she rewarded you by submitting and letting you have your way with her.)As we were in my car I started playing stupid mind games. “She must’ve been out with another guy.” I felt like a loser. (You started doubting yourself and being fearful.) Then I thought, “what would Coach Corey think about my thoughts? (Just don’t share them with her.) He would not be proud of me.” James Bond wouldn’t cry in this situation. So I flipped the coin. Some guy has wined and dined her? This other guy had put her on a silver platter and give it to me. (You didn’t even have to take her out. You could just go right to the bedroom.) I got to have the desert, ice cream, sprinkles and beer, and HE paid for the tab! So what the hell am I crying for? (You acted like a man, and look what happens.) I should be proud! She chose to sleep with me! As soon as we got to my house, she grabbed my ding-dong, and we had sex.
Long story short, I let her do all the pursuing and texting. It took about 8 weeks, and she asked me to be her boyfriend. I said, “are you talking to any guys on Tinder?” She said yes, and I stated, let’s talk about a relationship another time. Next time we are on a date, she tells me she got rid of all them, and I said okay, I can be your boyfriend. (She’s seeking your approval now. She’s submitting to you fully.)
It turns out, she had OVER 950 MATCHES ON TINDER!!! But she chose me. For all the math-people out there, that means 0.00105 percent chance, 1/950 odds!!!! So when you say 3% percent man, I’d say no way!! Not even 1% of the guys can understand women. She said, “I felt like I couldn’t trust anybody I met. Guys were trying to show off. (Why does a guy try to show off? He’s trying to prove himself to her.) Some of them even had girlfriends!! They all Snapchatted me and texted me a lot. I wish you would do the same, but I can trust you, and I love you. You are so different.” (She has to work to get you to agree to be her boyfriend. You are different because you applied what I teach in my book.)
Here is a pic of her. Please don’t show it in your videos I don’t want her find out I’m following you, LOL. (Your secret’s safe with me, but she is beautiful. I’m happy you got your girl back and you got what you wanted.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“In order to get what you want in life, you must set yourself apart from all others. This is especially true if you are trying to influence someone who has many choices to choose you over all others. How does one do this? By communicating with your words and actions that you are their most valuable choice, and not being attached to them or your outcome. Scarcity creates value. When you know your true value and self-worth, you will not tolerate being around those for very long who question or doubt your value. A person of value will walk away and never look back from someone who takes them for granted or does not fully appreciate their value proposition. People who view themselves as being unworthy will chase, pursue and try to force themselves upon others. People who know they are worthy know it’s demeaning and take it as a personal insult to waste their time with those who do not reciprocate interest or see their value.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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