“It’s Not You, It’s Me…” (Bullshit!)

When a woman says “It’s not you, it’s me”, what’s she’s really saying is… “It’s you, you’ve turned me off.”

Men and women both tend to become blinded to reality when they have a high level of romantic interest in someone. Men are especially prone to projecting their own high level of interest onto women they like, and ignoring the fact the interest is not mutual. Men tend to overrate their chances with women. Men often assume that just because they like a woman and that woman is engaging them in conversation, that she likes him also. When men are in a relationship with a woman they have high interest in, they also ignore the fact that she is becoming less and less enthusiastic about seeing them, and less and less interested in sex. This happens slowly over time, and they usually never notice before it’s too late.

Men are often stunned and shocked when their wives or girlfriends dump them seemingly out of the blue. They don’t understand what happened. They thought everything was fine, or that maybe that little rough patch, really wasn’t that big a deal to her. The problem is, most men do not understand women. They don’t understand how to communicate with women effectively. They don’t understand how to read body language or a woman’s physiology. They simply don’t know what to look for when it comes to signs and indicators of romantic interest, therefore, they are constantly making mistakes that are causing their women to lose interest that they are totally oblivious to. When they get rejected, most men never see it coming. They find out when it is too late.

Women will stay with a man long after her romantic feelings for him are gone. They will stay with him until they have lost all respect and feelings for him. Why? It’s easy for a woman to walk away from a man she no longer cares for. Most beautiful women who are a catch, will already have several replacements lined up by the time she gives him the ax. Women will always hope that the man will end the relationship when it is time. If he waits for the woman to end the relationship, she will usually do it long after she has lost all romantic interest in him, and after she has replacements lined up and waiting in the wings. However, before it gets to the point where a woman ends the relationship, she will start telling him things like, “Maybe we’re not a good match. I think you can find someone better for you than me. If you want to break up with me, I’ll understand. You can see other people if you want. We don’t have to be exclusive anymore if you don’t want to. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ll understand if you want to date other people. I want a guy who is… etc.” What do most men do when they hear statements like those from their girlfriends or wives? They use logic and reason to try and persuade her why what she’s saying is nonsense and that they really are perfect for each other. What this really does, is tell her he really doesn’t understand women. This lowers her interest in him even more.

The following is an e-mail from a reader who was dumped unexpectedly by his girlfriend. She is using her cervical cancer as the reason why she has dumped him. It’s BS. The real reason she is dumping him is because he lowered her interest level in him to the point that she now has no romantic interest in him anymore. If he was her lover, her rock and her mountain in her eyes, she would pull him closer in this difficult time. As it is, since he doesn’t get it, she is rejecting him because being in a relationship with him is adding additional emotional stress that she simply doesn’t want to deal with anymore. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Hey Coach Corey,

I love your site and your insights. (thanks) I just had a question regarding my recent relationship with my girlfriend. A few months ago she got diagnosed with cervical cancer, and ever since, I noticed she hasn’t been the same. (That’s understandable) She tells me its not me, (Bullshit! Translation: “It’s you. Not me. You have not treated me properly, and therefore, you have lowered my romantic level of interest in you below 51%. Therefore… you’re out”) and that she’s having a hard time dealing with everything. (Translation: “I can’t deal with my cancer and the emotional drama of you and me at the same time. Because things are not flowing, and you don’t know how to go with the flow. I don’t FEEL safe and comfortable and like I can be myself around you.”)

She basically told me she just needs some time to figure out how to get herself back to normal, because she literally hasn’t been herself for a few months now. (Translation: “I don’t feel like I can be myself around you. I feel like I have lost who I was being with you.”) She’s just a little lost with everything lately and doesn’t want to drag me down, (Translation: “I have low romantic interest in you, and I don’t want you dragging me down when I have cancer.”) because she feels like she has and just wants both of us to be happy. (Translation: “I want to find a new man so I can be happy. I’m not happy with you. You can’t possibly be happy with me, because I am not willing to make the effort with you anymore. You deserve someone who will make the effort; and who wants to make the effort.”)

What are your thoughts on how I should handle this? (You got dumped because you do not understand women. Over time, you lowered your girlfriends interest in you by not treating her properly. You need to immerse yourself in my book. You can download the Amazon Kindle version in under 60 seconds to your Smartphone, PC, iPad or Mac for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE. Then, book a paid phone coaching session with me personally, so I can help you attract & date a Goddess who is 100 times hotter, sweeter & more fun than your ex by CLICKING HERE! I guarantee it!

Women are easy to understand once you take the time to learn and apply the simple principles in my book. In the meantime while you are learning, walk away from her. Don’t call, text or contact her in any way unless you are responding to her texts/calls/etc. If you hear from her, chat for only a few minutes and then, ask if she would like to meet up for some drinks. If she says yes, then set a definite date. If she says no, then tell her you gotta run, but to give you a call if she changes her mind. Every time she contacts you after that, just do the same exact thing and handle it the same way. If she keeps calling, and you stick to your guns and what you want, she will throw in the towel eventually and agree to meet. You MUST let her come to you. You are a catch. You ain’t got time to waste talking to a chick who needs to get her head together. Go get laid and have some fun meeting new women and applying the skills in my book. Spend your time with women who WANT to see you. Never try to keep someone who doesn’t want to keep you.)

Thanks so much for your time,

Troy

“We will act consistently with our view of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not.” ~ Tony Robbins