3% Man Success Story: Starting Over In My 30’s

How to start over & get your confidence back after the end of an unhealthy relationship.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a long time viewer. He married a manipulative covert narcissist sociopath at 22. He suffered through anxiety and depression and came close to ending his life. He realized what his ex-wife was doing and left the marriage.

He shares his journey and a simple success story he had over the weekend at a concert that really helped his confidence and helped him to realize it’s possible even in his 30’s to recover and become better than ever before. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This is the email success story that I talked about in yesterday’s video newsletter, which was titled “Dumped Over Text After 17 Years Together. How Can I Move On?” So that particular guy, he literally was with the girl from the time he was 17 all the way until 34, and she was so sweet and so considerate of all their time together that she sent him a text, basically dumping him and not to contact her, that she was moving on with her life. Two weeks later, she’s posting pictures all over social media with her new boyfriend, how happy she is and how much she’s in love, so that particular guy is like, “Hey, I’m 34. What the hell do I do?” It’s like, “How can I get past this? How can I get over this?” And I said, “Just wait until tomorrow. There was a guy that was in a way worse situation.” He was just married to that particular woman who dicked him down pretty bad.

This new guy, for today’s success story, he says he’s a longtime viewer. He married a manipulative, covert, narcissistic sociopath at 22. He was with her for eight years, he suffered through anxiety and depression, came that close to offing himself over the mental torture that this woman put him through. So now he’s come out the other side, his life is going great, he’s doing well in his career. He mentioned that what he learned in Mastering Yourself, which obviously if you guys haven’t read it yet, you can read it totally for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the email newsletter, put your name and your email, just come up with a password and as soon as you click enter, boom! It’ll open up and you can read both books. He used what was in Mastering Yourself to really help him advance in his career and negotiate on his behalf to get a really great salary and a really great job.

He’s utilizing and taking advantage of of obviously what’s in 3% Man and Mastering Yourself. He’s dramatically improved his personal and his professional life. Plus, he had a a simple success story a couple weekends ago while he was at a concert, and even though it was simple, it’s like he got into a relationship with this girl. He just met her and they had a really good time together. For him, it was very satisfying because when he got out of his marriage, when he figured out what this woman was doing to him, he finally left. So now he’s like 30 at that point, and he was in the same boat that the other guy was. He’s like, “I’m too old now. I’m 30. Like, what do I do? My life’s over. I missed the boat.” So if this guy can get through what he got through, then the guy from yesterday’s email, his situation is a lot easier. He wasn’t married. I don’t think he was even living with the girl, but he assumed that he was going to grow old with her. I’m sure at some point, this guy had those thoughts about his now narcissistic ex-wife.

Let’s go through his email. Any of you guys that are really struggling, you’re kind of like where the guy was yesterday, you’re just now at the beginning of trying to figure out what the hell happened and get over it, this guy has read 3% Man, he’s learned what’s in Mastering Yourself, he’s applying it, he’s getting great success, so hopefully his story inspires you guys that are really struggling. No matter where you’re at in life, there’s always somebody that’s got it worse than you, and this guy here, he had it way worse than yesterday’s emailer. So if this dude can overcome what he went through, the guy from yesterday has got a cakewalk compared to him.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

Long time listener, first time caller. I want to say thank you for the wisdom you are freely sharing with men like myself. Long story short, I married at 22 unknowingly to a manipulative covert narcissist sociopath (Say that three times fast). After suffering through anxiety and depression that started during my marriage, I came close to ending my life when I had reached my wits end trying to find answers for my misery. Like an epiphany, I finally realized what my ex-wife was doing to me and left the marriage after eight years.

Well, you want somebody who’s easygoing, easy to get along with, ideally loves her daddy, loves her father, her father is her rock and her mountain. Girls that don’t have a tight relationship like that with their father, they’re much more difficult to date and be in a relationship with. Doesn’t mean that they’re all like that, but the majority of them, you’re not going to have an easy and effortless type of relationship. So whatever is modeled for them at home is what they tend to grow up, repeat and seek out, just keep that in mind. Easygoing, easy to get along with, communicates like an adult, doesn’t stonewall you, she’s nice to you. You want a girl that’s nice to you, not a chick that’s a raving lunatic, or in this guy’s case, a narcissist. Let me go through all those words: A manipulative, covert, narcissist sociopath. That is a mouthful!

Like many men, I thought my love life was doomed being over 30.

So the other guy, he was 34. This guy was 30. Then when it happened to him, he was thinking, “How the hell can I start? I’m in my 30s now. It’s over for me.”

Single moms, divorcees, career women, etc., seemed like my only options. Luckily, I found your channel and have been working on myself over the past two years.

So he’s been following me for about two years now.

I have gotten in shape, gained the confidence I lost from depression, and recently got a good paying job thanks to your interview techniques. 

It’s all in Mastering Yourself. It’s all laid out for you. How to negotiate like LeBron James is going to negotiate or Tyreek Hill, the Cheetah. Do you guys see that video of Tyreek getting manhandled by those police? It’s not a good look for Miami-Dade PD. They were out of line, over the top, really disappointing. Those type of police officers have no business being in law enforcement. They’re just dickheads, but I digress. So back to our regularly scheduled email success story.

I had been putting off focusing on women and relationships because I want to be the right man for the kind of woman I want to attract. Lately, the universe has been telling me it is time.

You got to become what you want to attract. The idea is you want to get to a happy place, like I was talking about to yesterday’s emailer. You want to get to a happy place so you can find somebody who’s also happy to share your completeness with, because if you’re looking to find somebody and then get happy together, you’re going to probably attract somebody who’s also unhappy, and then you’ll both make each other miserable. So get to a happy place first.

I made a big sale at work the other day, so I went out on the town riding a confidence “high.” I was catching a free concert at an outdoor venue when a cute young woman (She just graduated college)…

So she’s probably 22, 23. He’s in his early 30s, he’s killing it. She sees a guy, she likes him, he’s got swagger, he just closed a big deal, he’s happy, he’s smiling from ear to ear, probably one of the few happy, confident, outgoing dudes that’s there. She notices there’s something different about him, so she goes over and taps him on the shoulder.

…Tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I wanted to join her and her friends up by the stage. I said, “Sure,” and we chatted for a bit during the concert. I was playfully teasing her while asking her questions about herself. At one point her girlfriend asked for some lip gloss, and then she applied some herself and then played like she was going to put it on my lips. I said, “No thanks, I’ll get yours off of you later,” with a smirk. She grinned, too bewildered to speak. 

“I can’t believe he said that to me after the concert.”

After the concert, she asked if I wanted to get a drink at a bar nearby. So we went, and immediately after we ordered drinks she started giving me “Kiss me” vibes, so I went for it. Needless to say, I got her lip gloss off of her!

Well, that was very gentlemanly of you.

For the next two hours she couldn’t help herself and kept grabbing and kissing me.

Remember, attraction is not a choice. He shows up happy, he goes to this free concert just looking to have a good time. Wasn’t going there to meet girls. Just wanted to have a good time. He’s giving off a non-hungry vibe, he’s fit, he’s in shape. This hot, young horny young girl notices him and now they’re sucking face.

Her friends were shocked at her behavior. She was all over me, but I kept playing it cool. Then I noticed she tested me a little. I went to the restroom, and when I came back another guy was talking to her. She ignored me at first, so I stood back instead of getting jealous and interrupting.

Yeah, because then you can be amused and you can laugh at how pathetic the other guy is, like James Bond would.

After a couple of minutes, she looked over to me, so I walked up and she pulled me in and stuck her tongue in my mouth. Ha! The other guy probably thought I had the biggest cojones to do that and get away with it.

Well, you already kind of claimed her for the evening.

At one point, I wouldn’t give her a kiss, so she started sucking on my neck. I said, “don’t do that, I can’t sit with customers tomorrow with a hickey on my neck,” so she started biting my earlobe in the middle of the bar with people all around us! 

I’m sure he was suffering through that. Speaking, let me digress a little bit, I just got a, “I can’t share it” because of where it was, but our young Abe Lincoln Chunky fulfilled a lifelong childhood dream. He’s always been a huge fan of the Florida Panthers. He and his dad and the rest of his family have been going to the games for years from the time he was a little kid, even when the team really sucked. So since those guys won the Stanley Cup and they all live in the same area, he went down, I think it was E11Even, the nightclub down in Miami, when they had their big party with all those guys, got lots of video from it and it was just like a kid in a candy store. He’s been a big fan of the team since he was a little kid. So the only thing he hadn’t done yet was drinking out of the cup.

So he’s been hanging out with a few people. I don’t want to steal his thunder, but I’m happy for him because it’s like a lifelong dream. Just saw him sipping some tequila out of the Stanley Cup and having a good time with people he loves and who loves him, and certain people who were the reason for said Stanley Cup being won by the Florida Panthers. So maybe Chunky will put us together a little highlight reel of his escapades during the playoffs, after the playoffs, all the celebrations because he was partying like a rock star and enjoying every minute of it. One of the things he always wanted to do was to drink out of the Stanley Cup once the Panthers won it. So at 23 years old, he just achieved something he’s been wanting to do since he was a little boy. So congratulations, Chunky. We’re all happy for you. We’re proud of you. Maybe it’ll probably be Members Area. We’ll put it in the paying Members Area where you guys can see his escapades and what he’s been up to because we got to protect the innocent. So back to our email.

I enjoyed the evening with a cute young woman who was totally into me, but I had to leave it at that (She’s from a different city). I ended the evening knowing that we both had fun.

Attraction is not a choice. Thanks for helping me realize I can become the type of man that women desire.

I think women desire men who drink out of the Stanley Cup. We’ll see how that works out.

I was used and abused in my marriage instead of desired, so even just getting an awesome experience for one night helped show me what I’ve accomplished. 

Because what is success? Success is feeling like you’re making progress towards accomplishing your grandest goals and dreams. If you see and you feel like you’re making progress, you’ll be successful. Most importantly, you will feel happy because you can see the things you once were only in your mind’s eye are showing up in your life, like the tequila that went from the Stanley Cup in Chunky’s stomach. He’s probably got a nice buzz right now.

I’m focused on getting a little better every day and following your advice has been a huge part of my process. 

“Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself makes you fearless.”

Thanks Corey!

Bob

As Lao Tzu said. Thanks for sharing that.

If you guys haven’t already signed up for our paying Members Only content, in the video description of this video, there are links to join on YouTube, there is a link to join on Spotify if you prefer to consume Members Only content on Spotify, and we would most love it if you guys joined Members Only content on our website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab once you get there, or you can click the link in the video description of this video, and it will take you to the “plans” tab, so you can do a 7-day free trial and check out what kind of content you get access to for seven days for free. You can do a monthly plan or an annual plan, and if you choose an annual plan, at the end of the 7-day free trial, you get a 25% discount for paying the whole year up front.

So what you get for being a paying member to our paying Members Only content is you get six additional Members Only video coaching newsletters, like this one, per week that only paying members have access to. Obviously on the website, you get the email analysis that goes along with it if you’ve subscribed there. Every week we’re doing a 3% Man Study Group podcast, a Mastering Yourself Study Group podcast, where we literally go page-by-page in the books and discuss everything at length that’s in the books. It’s like an ongoing weekly class for both books. We also have the Full Viewer Questions podcast, where we answer the short viewer questions that you guys submit, typically through Instagram Stories every four or five months, because we get hundreds and hundreds of questions. Typically when we do a film session, we answer 12, 15 questions in a film session for over an hour, hour and a half. Those full podcasts are available for paying Members Only and any special interviews or special videos that we do are also in the paying Members Only.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.