7 Principles To Get An Ex Back

Dec 20, 2014 by Coach Corey Wayne

Young romantic couple sitting on sofa in front of fireplace at hHow to properly apply the 7 most important principles of how to get an ex back, if you got dumped unexpectedly and want to stay together, or if you dumped them, but now you want them back.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss the 7 most important principles of how to get an ex back. The majority of men and women who first find out about my work are usually trying to get an ex back. What I discuss in this video and article is who should contact who and when, when you should and shouldn’t try to set dates, why you shouldn’t focus on a relationship commitment, etc. I also discuss scenarios for people who got dumped, but did not want to be dumped, and for people who did the dumping, but now have changed their mind or felt like they made a mistake, and want their ex back.

These are the most common principles and responses that I discuss in my book, website articles, and countless videos. In addition to applying these seven principles, you must also read my book 10-15 times until you get to know it so well, you could teach a class on it. If you were the one who got dumped, then it’s essential that you learn, by reading my book 10-15 times, how to properly clean up your pick, dating, attraction, and relationship game. Otherwise, you’ll simply get dumped again.

7 PRINCIPLES TO GET AN EX BACK:

1) IF YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GOT DUMPED – You must communicate that you do not accept being friend-zoned or no longer being together, but instead want to continue seeing them. If they are unwilling to continue seeing you or give you another chance, you tell them to get in touch with you if they ever change their mind. You must let them go forever, and never contact them again for any reason. You must never, under any circumstances, agree to being friends only. It’s romance, or you’re simply not interested.

2) WALK AND NEVER LOOK BACK – This is the strongest negotiating position in any professional or personal human interaction. Once you have stated what you want, but they are unwilling to give it to you, you tell them to contact you if they ever change their mind, Conflict between man and woman standing on either side of a wall but you are not interested in anything platonic, and to please not contact you unless they are interested in something romantic ever again. Walking and never looking back means that you will never ever contact them again for any reason. No birthday messages, holiday messages, death of family members, etc. As far as you are concerned, you will never speak to them again as long as you live. If you have children with this person, make your arrangements ahead of time, so there is absolutely no reason for them to contact you. There must be space, distance, and time between you in order for an ex or someone you turned off to rethink and regret pushing you out of their life. It must be their idea to reach out to you first, once they realize they are never going to hear from you again.

3) WHEN THEY CONTACT YOU AGAIN – If an ex or someone you were dating got turned off by your behavior, contacts you through text messages, email, Facebook Messenger, or phone calls, then you must assume they want to see you, and this should be your first response. (Their liking your Facebook posts or commenting on your social media posts does not count as them contacting you. They must contact and message you directly and engage you in a conversation.) Do not engage in any BS conversation or nonsensical chit chat. Be direct, decisive, and go for what you want by saying this, “Hey, it’s great to hear from you. I’d love to see you. When are you free to get together?” Invite them to bring a bottle of wine, coffee, tea, etc., whatever you drink, to your place to make dinner together. Young happy couple having romantic date at restaurant Make a definite date. Hang out, have fun, and hook up like I talk about in my book. It’s like a first date. You get no credit for your past history together or any past relationship. Do not talk about getting back together, being exclusive, or locking them down to a commitment. It must be their idea to become exclusive again. You simply need to focus on creating a fun filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen, i.e., a date.

4) WHEN THEY WON’T COME TO YOUR PLACE FOR A DATE – If they have contacted you again, and you try to make a date at your place, but they won’t accept, or they counter by trying to get you to pick them up or meet them out somewhere, you must give them this response, “It’s been a long week and I’m just in the mood to hang at my place. If you don’t want to come over and make dinner together, then give me a call in 2-3 weeks and maybe I will be up for something more formal then.” They’ll either agree to dinner or they won’t. If they won’t agree to dinner, then say this, “I’ve got to run, but get in touch with me if you change your mind.” And then walk and never look back.

5) WHEN THEY WON’T MAKE A DATE – Since you are always going to wait to hear from them first, and on two consecutive different times when they have reached out to you first, you try to set a date, but they won’t, then you must stop asking. Never ask them out again unless they bring it up first. From that point forward, if they continue to reach out to you, you’re not going to bring up getting together. If they have contacted you by text, email, Facebook messenger or other chat services, you will keep your message responses to 2-3 max. Businessman sitting on sofa using his tablet smiling at camera If they contact you by phone, and you’re having a phone conversation, Facetime conversation, or Skype video or audio conversation, you will keep the conversation to 2-3 minutes max. This is very important: When they’ve contacted you via digital messaging, or voice or video means, you will always give them this response when you end the conversation, “Hey, it was great hearing from you, but I’ve got to run. Keep in touch.” From that point forward, they will either bring up getting together first, and then you can try and set a date, or they will stop contacting you for good.

6) LET THEM CONTACT YOU EXCLUSIVELY – When someone is unwilling to see you, go on dates with you, or give you a chance to start to rekindle your romance, and they have pushed you away, you must always let them contact you 100% of the time from that point forward. This is different from what I teach in my book and how a man should properly start off a courtship, so this only applies when you got dumped or blown off and did not agree to it. So when they do reach out, you make a definite date, and then you get off the phone. Be direct, decisive, and get right to the point, no idle chit-chat or unnecessary BS conversation.

7) IF YOU DUMPED THEM – The only time you’re going to contact an ex when you are trying to get them back, is if you dump them, but regret that decision and want to rekindle things. You will only contact them one time when you are trying to get them back. You will contact them once, apologize for being a jackass, tell them you would like to see them again, and make a definite date. I am sorry message In this situation, it’s okay to go pick them up or go meet them for dinner if they won’t come to your place. This is because you pushed them away. Therefore, if you try to make a date when you contact them, but they are unwilling to, tell them that you’d love to see them again and have another chance. Then tell them to contact you if they ever change their mind. If they reach out after that, try to make a definite date. But after you’ve contacted them once, and they were unwilling to make a date, then you must walk and never look back. If they contact you, and you make a date, and you hang out, have fun, hook up and things go well, then you can treat this situation like a normal courtship by contacting them once per week to set a date. But once they feel safe and comfortable to start contacting you after your last date, then you shouldn’t have to contact them anymore. Then, you can simply back off, wait to hear from them, and when you do, make the next date. Under this circumstance only, when you did the dumping, it’s okay to contact them once per week if they agreed to go out on a date with you the first time you contacted them after dumping them, just like I discuss in my book.

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“The strongest negotiating position in any personal or professional human interaction is being able to walk away and mean it. If you got dumped by a lover whom you wanted to keep in your life, you must state what you want, and then walk away and never look back. If they care or still have any romantic feelings for you, they will reach out in the future. If that happens, simply focus on creating a great date. Hang out, have fun, and hook up. Do not focus on a relationship commitment or dating labels. It must be their idea to become exclusive when you are the one who got dumped. If you dump them, but now want them back, contact them, apologize for being an ass, and tell them you would like to see them. Make a date. If they won’t make a date, tell them to call you if they change their mind, and walk and never look back. You always must give an ex-lover the freedom, choice, space, and time to decide to see you romantically again. That is why continually contacting them to change their mind, is the weak position, and will never work.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Published on December 20, 2014

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Corey,
    I’m so glad I found your work at the beginning of the year. I’ve learned so much about dating in one year than I have in my 39 years of life. I’ve always been successful in my career and meeting women but I have always lacked the skills to maintain a long term relationship. I still have a lot to learn and found out the hard way after falling for a girl this past summer. I thought I had found the girl I have always been looking for as I let her bring up exclusivity (like you mention). However, after four months in she ended things. Like you’ve mentioned countless times, she provided the hints things weren’t going as smoothly as they should’ve (e.g., sex less often, starting to nag) but I was blinded by my own feelings and misreading the signs. Even though she would initiate communication 80% of the time or more. Maybe the more was an issue too, we live an hour away from each other and she would say it felt like we were in a relationship while we were together but it was hard when we were not. I told her if i could be with her every day I would. She is 39 also and asked if I was serious about wanting kids and even went as far as asking how I would feel if she looked into invetro fertilization or adopting later next year (she was looking into it before we met on a dating site). I told her I would support her decision. She countered by saying most guys would want the child to be theirs if they were dating someone. I told her, if we are still together then yes I would want the child to be mine. That seemed to make her happy and I was legitimately fine with telling her this because I do want children. Anyway, about two weeks after that conversation, she ended our relationship. I gave her the message that you preach. The very next day, she sent me a text and asked if she could come to my place that night to talk. I know last minute but I was prepared to go play tennis if she didn’t show. She even asked why I looked like i was going to play tennis. I told her if she hadn’t shown up by 6:30 I was going to go play (continuing to live my life). After talking we made up. By the way, I didn’t beg or ask her to come back. I told her I didn’t need her in my life but I wanted her in my life and that I think we both will miss out on something awesome. That was a Monday night, my schedule was full during the week so we made plans to see each other on the upcoming weekend. Everything seemed to be good as all week long she initiated contact by text, I called her once. She came to my place. I was feeling nervous from her ending things the week before and she could sense it. She stayed the night but no sex. In the morning we snuggled on the couch watching some shows that we both enjoyed. It was a little after noon and we both had things we need to do. So, as she was getting things ready to go, she sat down on the couch and said she couldn’t see me anymore. She said she knows what she is looking for and that I’m not the one and that she doesn’t have the same feelings for me that I have for her. I didn’t argue with her but I did listen as she pointed out different things that i did that ultimately lowered her interest. I reiterated what i had told her the week before that I wanted her in my life but that i would not chase her or beg and plead for her to return (I forgot to say your line before she left). So, later that day I sent a text basically saying that I was disappointed she would bring up having kids together so soon in a relationship if she didn’t have strong feelings (I know should have left that out). I told her that I wanted her in my life and that if she didn’t want to work things out, then great. I then told her to give me a call if she changed her mind. After about two weeks, I had to delete her from my facebook friends so that I could heal. As hard as I tried not to look at her facebook profile, I couldn’t resit the urge. All this did was rip me apart because I would see all the new guys she was adding as friends. Plus, I realized that I wasn’t being congruent with what I had told her in not wanting to be friends of any kind. It was ripping me apart seeing her friend all these different guys. Corey, it’s been a month and a half since we split up and neither one of us has contacted the other. I’m slowly recovering and have got back on a dating site to meet new women. Well, after being on the site for about two and half weeks, low and behold my ex has appeared. I did look at her profile which I realize I shouldn’t have done but I didn’t contact her and won’t. After I had looked at her profile, she looked at mine. Two days later she looked at my profile again. If you get time, curious if your experience has shown that an ex will get jealous when she sees that you are actively looking fro someone new? And yes, I would love to get her back but I don’t expect it to happen and i am actively trying to date other women. Thanks for all the work you are doing!

    Scott

    • Hey Scott. I just found this website. Curious to see how things worked out for as I am going through a similar situation.

  2. If I dumped her because she said she was unsure of the relationship and she thinks not romantically in love any more. Am I still the dumper?

    • First of all it doesn’t matter much who is dumber. especially If she said fist she was not in love anymore. you did what you were supposed to do, i.e. back off and give her space.

  3. I’m a female, and going through the worst breakup of my life…..your amazing, Im learning so much from your videos and news letters. I Love that you don’t sugar coat shit and are to the point with this relationship stuff.

  4. Dear Coach,
    Thanks for your great advices. I have bought your book and learning a fuckton of things where I screwed up with my ex-girlfriend (she is caucasian and I am asian). But its taking time to grasp. I and my ex were friends for 2 years and then started dating. I moved another state and we dated for 4 years over long distance. we were in love so much. We visited each other 3-4 times in a year. But this year (6 months ago), I lost my job and became needy, so she broke up with me and asked me to be a friend. I denied. Now she text me once in 2 weeks. I don’t know if I should reply. I know what you say. But I am still in another state. Don’t know how I can get her back as I can’t hangout and hook up (as you advice). Please help.

  5. i was with my ex fiancé on and off for 14 years. I loved him with all of my body, mind, soul and heart. I did everything and everything for him and wanted to spend every waking moment with him. We had such a strong connection and I was so happy when he proposed. But as soon as he did it was like I didn’t exist and he wanted an out. He wouldn’t want to see me unless it was late at night after he played video games with his friends. He wouldn’t want to have dinner together, and he never wanted to show up for wedding planning or house hunting. I kept telling him I wanted lore I wanted a fiancé and a partner and he would just tell me how annoying I was and block my number. I started to freak out that he wasn’t going to show up on our wedding day and that he didn’t love me anymore. I started going out a lot and trying to hide my hurt from my family and friends because I was ashamed. I ended up flirting with someone else and he was so sweet telling me and showing me everything I wanted my fiancé to do. Nothing physically happened but emotionally I was feeling happy and I know that was wrong looking back on it. My fiancé found some inappropriate texting and then we tried to fix it but I think at the point it had gotten too far. He would try and be sweet and nice for a couple days and then I would annoy him or ask him to do something and then he would say the worst things ever.. That he hasn’t loved me in five years and he wishes he never proposed and I’m such a whore. Needless to say we are no longer speaking but I love him so much and miss him everyday. He has a new girlfriend who he told me they have everything in common and that she is special and that he no longer has any feelings towards me what so ever. I am devastated and I don’t know what to do..

    • He has a rebound relationship, trying to replace you. Leave him be, no matter how long, that relationship will go to hell and eventually will comeback to better sense. With the risk of never coming back, you have to be indifferent with what he says or does. On your part, try to move on, as he will realize that if he doesn’t reach out will loose you forever. Maybe it’s for the best.

  6. I got dumped by my ex of 8 years and I tried to ask and beg for second chance after 4 attempts. On the phone and in person over two months but he said he doesn’t have it in him to continue dating because he’s done and tired. I was starting professional school and he was in limbo waiting for residency and he asked me for a break because he didn’t like that I wouldn’t change my last name when we got married. This time was a breakup because I was unable to attend his bros wedding out of state due to finals. When I approached him three weeks, he said he was pissed still and so was his bro. He said no again and was cold. When I told him how I felt he said he was a piece of shit. I said he wasn’t to me and he almost cried. I don’t know if it’s denial but I still feel like hell come back. Help me get through an angry and cold ex

  7. I’m confused. I don’t know if I was dumped. I was told we just needed to slow things down some. They want a close relationship but not a deep love relationship , then they contacted me by text 2 days later. What’s my move? Were they just scared because they didn’t say to end it.

    Love our Fun

  8. What if you work with the person who is pushing You away? I see her everyday at work. I have feelings for her but she doesn’t feel the same. I can’t straight out cut her out of my life because we work together.

  9. She should be exclusively talking and initating contact, 100% of the time, if she is the dumper.
    BUT, when does that change? after first date? after hooking up? after sex?

    Thanks!

  10. Hey corey, I recently sent an email explaining the situation with my ex wife. A lot of your videos have helped me but at the same time it is so hard to not contact the one you love the most. I feel like she is completely over me and I know you say in your videos that you can find someone better fit for you but honestly I don’t think there is anyone in this world that could be better fit besides my ex wife. I am in such shock that it is over and sometimes I feel like things will be okay and other times I keep thinking about her with other men. I have no idea what to do with myself or this situation. I have no friends anymore and I have no one to vent to about it. I feel like I am about to explode. Please get back to me I really need help figuring out what I should do at this point. She was the most beautiful girl and most well designed girl for me in my life. 2 years and 2 months down the drain.

  11. Hi Corey. My girlfriend and I were crazy in love. We were making plans to move in together, as we already stayed at each other’s places 99% of the time. We were talking Long Term, buying a house, kids… The mistake I made was that I was still (very distant) friends with my ex. We dated for 4 years, and have been friends for four, thereafter. I asked my girl if I should cut my ex off, and she said no. I foolishly believed this, and did not. Ironically, all we msg’d about was giving advice to one another about our current relationships on how to Not screw things up. A week later, my girl said it bothered her that I was still friends with my ex. Again, I told her that I’d tell her goodbye forever, but my girl said no, she didn’t want to be “that girl” who “made” her man do that. Again, foolishly, I believed her and was too thick-headed to read between the lines. Well, about a week later, she said it was too much for her, and she broke up with me On the Phone. She showed up three hours later with all my things, and collected all of hers. It’s been almost seven weeks, and she Still refuses to even speak to me. Before I found your work, I wrote her a long letter, after about a month of No Contact. It did nothing. We both work at a hospital- me on the 1st floor in the ER, and she works upstairs. We see one another very briefly in the parking lot from about a 75 ft distance, and also very briefly on her floor, if I have to go up for some reason, about once every 2.5 – 3 weeks. She doesn’t say a Word, but makes eye contact for about One second before looking away. I do Know that she’s the One for me, and I do want her back. I will do whatever it takes. I just bought your book. I’ve watched about 10 of your videos, and have subscribed. I’d Love to speak with you, but can’t afford that yet. Any advice is extremely welcome. Thank you .

  12. Hi Corey, I love your site. I could really use some advice. I was seeing a man who is living with another woman, I just recently applied the no contact rule and told him unless he leaves her or asks her to move out I will no longer see him. We started seeing each other last December and shes still there. We have spent a lot of time together, we communicate really well and we both love each other but we cannot move forward in this situation. He has asked me to wait for him and I have agreed but being with him and then when he goes back to her has become too hard for me to handle. He said they are more like roommates and they are not have sex. Its been 29 days now since we last spoke to each other. Do you think I did the right thing by using the no contact rule. Thanks, Judy

  13. Hey Coach!

    My ex dumped whos a coworker of mine but only via phone dumped me appr. 2 months ago, cut all the communication lines since i acted like a little angry child after realized this is really happening.
    Now for 3 weeks she appeared to be working where i do suddenly, she even hangs out 2 hours plus after her shift is over. Even she came to a social gathering where he barely know/likes anyone. She gave me this hot and cold treatement in the past weeks, she was looking at me carefuly but not speaking to me, not even saying hello or making direct eye contact.

    Last week and this week she dropped all that and went full cocky and funny with me like nothing bad happened when we are talking. I was receptive, we still have the chemistry…like Han Solo & Lea, Indiana Jones & any woman he met, yet i still dont stick around her for no reason, only because we have to solve something in work together but still its a bit weird that she put herself in my orbit and it seems like shes slowly melting. Probably she misses the captain of the football team.

    1. Now its the time for me not to confuse whats reaching out and whats not.
    2. Here is the deal what bothers me. Im to eager and a bit desperate inside to look for a situation, chance to finally accuse her for being too sexual, too stalkerish towards me, so i can turn the tide while im smiling in her face. I dont know why i feel it so important as a tide already turning.

    Have a great day!
    Gabe

  14. This advice is flawed in one respect: of she dumped you because you were a jerk, you better be the one to work to get her back. Don’t be desperate, but let her know you want to work things out, and leave the ball in her court. Of you mistreated her, and she dumped you, don’t expect her to come running back. You must communicate that you’d like to work things out without being desperate. Show her that you’re working on yourself. She won’t want you to be a better person for the next girl, but rather for her. If not, you just lost her. No woman with a healthy self-esteem will go back to a man who mistreated her and behaves the way the article suggests when he is dumped.

  15. Dear coach,
    Thank you for all your help I have read your book 5 times and on my sixth.

    I need your advise my girl of 4 yrs broke it off on my birthday not much of a drinker but it was my 50th and got lit pretty good she said I treated her badly and have back my ring and told me to move out. The next day I told her I was sorry didn’t remember and that I loved her.and just drove away it’s been working months and I never told her if she changed her mind let me know I haven’t heard from her at all what do you think I should do is she doing the no contact with me maybe she is reading your books as well please let me know?

  16. hi orey just found your work
    im 55 just met a lady of my dreams pretty smart so much in common we laughtedteased each other had a great first date 2nd date didnt get a third date she never retured a text and listened to all your vidoes and totally fucked that date after going over everything and i saw all the mistakes i made and it made me look like needy and thats so not me had to go away on business got back on the 7day sent her a text hey hey dont know your plans on fri how about catching up for drinks 730
    next day she texted me back hope your trip went well but im busy all week end have a good weekend
    i returned 4hrs later thats ok when you have some time call me and we can plan something and get together
    and left it there i dont want to loose this one shes a 10 i bought your book ill read it 20times if i have to so if i get another shot with her she tested me heaps after going though everthing what you think i should do next the fifty plus girls are well armed have to work out there weak points
    keep up the good work and keeping it real

  17. Hi Corey. Hopefully you read this. What if you’re living with your girlfriend, she dumps you, you both have nowhere else to live, and the lease for the house isn’t up until the end of the month? How do walk away and create that time and space away from us for them to miss us and regret pushing us out of their lives? If you’re still living together, there is no real loss yet, and they know you’re still there if they want you. It would ease their pain of the break up in the few weeks left before the lease is up, so when they finally leave they’re more over it.

  18. Ho Coach Corey,

    You can use this a newsletter youtube video.

    My gf of 4.5 yrs broke up with me 1.5 mths ago (28th March, 2017) as her parents is telling her to get a very rich guy to support her career and her life, she is 27 and never had a job so she know nothing about the outside world how hard is to earn money.

    So i did all the wrong things like crying, pleading and she treated me like trash being so rude towards me for the 1st month.

    Then i did the no contact and after 4 days she called me and apologizing for what she said and how she treated me, so i went no contact again then after 8 days she sent me this text :

    This text from her was 2 days ago on the 12th May, 2017.

    i miss you a lot and our memories keep “replay” in my head,you are such a beautiful and kind person,all i wanna say is sorry….my words are so hurtful and devil,you really dont deserve it and i am so guilty for what i have said to you. You are right i dont think i can find a man like you and love me as you do. You are too perfect and deserve a better person. I am so sorry and hope you doing good

    So i tried to make a date with her she said she is busy this week.

    Then the next day evening she called me asking what i am up to, i didnt said much and told her to come over to my place and we cook dinner together she said she will let me know which day she can make it.

    Last night she was texting me asking why i am out so late and why i am drinking alcohol (she asked me 3 times) so looks like she cares for me but not sure why she is not willing to meet up.

    Any advice from anyone?

    • My recent ex is doing the same flaky responses to meeting up.
      We met in 2009 and moved in properly in 2012 till 2017.
      We seen each other for last 3 months nearly daily mostly me going to her place and hooking up with her
      After recent arguments she wants space specifically 2 weeks lol . What the hell. Its sudden but there were warning signs thinking back now. We speak sometimes i hardly c her but if i do she hugs and kisses me but shes always in a rush and never has time to meet up and hardly messages me like before
      Shes now going away with her single flatmate for the weekend. I tried to make plan for wen she back sunday. Again flaky. Lets see wat happens. Am i wasting my time?

  19. I found the guy in 2011 one of the dating site after six months he dumped me in 2015 at work when I open my email I found his email greeted me I ignore it then he wrote another one I ignored it I answered he said he want me back still loved me he regret what he have done while I was busy thinking about why he wanted to come back to me I went to Facebook searching I found out his photos of his wedding placed with his wife but was not on his profile I was so shock every thing they do you find in her profile

  20. What if you got dumped, waited for her to contact you, she contacted you, you made a date but she blew the date off but apologized for doing it? Do I go straight into “Hey, it was great hearing from you, but I’ve got to run. Keep in touch.” and if so for how long do I continue this? How long do I do this until I offer the chance for another date?

  21. What if you lied to her about something and she is hurt by your actions, packed your stuff and put it by the door. I sent an apology by email because she just couldn’t talk. I sent her flowers and a week later she said thank you. My question is do the same rules apply on getting an ex back if YOU were the one that screwed up and she is mad and hurt by you and your actions. Seems cold to just ghost her and wait around for her to reach out when i screwed up. At the same time i did apologize and do not want to just keep on and on about it pushing her away further. Right now its been 2 weeks of radio silence, only the thank you for the flowers in which i took the chance to make a date by saying ” I at least get a fun date out of it, let me know when you’re free” no response. Back to the silent treatment..

  22. Yeah I think I’ll be withdrawing from co-ed soccer league. She’ll be playing and that will break no contact. Thanks.

  23. I fear I have pushed her away. We dated for about 2 years. It was fun. In the third year I lost my job. She was supportive butt I was too depressed and had no joy left in me. Once I got a new job I was happy and she started acting weird towards me. She later confessed to me that her plan was to leave me once I got a job after months of treating me like shit. I did what coach Corey says to do. We have been breaking up for about a 5 months now but she finally pulled the trigger. I guess I just couldn’t except reality. The truth is I want her back. I’ve done everything Corey says. When I go no contact, focus and work on every aspect of my self she will reach out and I would assume she wants to get back together and I would set a date. Lately she would agree but flake on the day or the day before. I would leave her alone and the cycle would just repeat itself. Is she using me to help her get over me, contacting me just to boost he ego or does she still care some how for me? I’m just lost and want her back as I still love her. Any advice would be appreciated please guys. I fear I might have pushed her too far.

  24. I was dumped after being a complacent bitch. I don’t think I did a good job staying in my masculine while she informed me she wanted to end it, but it did reject her friend request three times during this time. I told her to give me a call if she wants something more than friends.

    Five days later I received a letter in the mail from her. It spells out my inability to show loving affection, how she understands why I don’t want to be her friend right now, and said that someday she is going to see me again.

    Is this reaching out? Do I wait until she contacts me via phone to try and set a date?

    Thank you!

  25. Cory,
    You talk about keeping things “lite” – humor. My GF dumped me after being together 6 years. She lined up a guy and I happened to go to her house saw his truck there – what a shock. I didn’t blow up her phone or anything like that. I’m not on social media. If I never see her again, that’s ok, but I know I’ll always think of her with affection. It’s only been 2 weeks. I’m cool with NO CONTACT and I know I won’t contact her first. She’ll have to reach out. At some point I’m thinking she’ll contact me via text or phone. I deleted her phone# but remember enough of it to recognize it has being hers. IF I should receive a text from her – What if my first reply via text read: Who is this?
    Would that be too corny? or might it be just goofy enough to break the ice?

  26. What do you do in the case where I preemptively dumped her after she drunkenly kissed a guy, became distant and for the first time began to ignore me? I’ve left it open for her to contact me if she changes her mind about things in future, but have stated that I don’t want to be in a one-way relationship and I’m moving on, so I’ve put the ball in her court.

    If it doesn’t work out between us at least I’ve salvaged some pride, but in reality this is a last ditch attempt at restoring balance and attraction in the relationship after I pursued too much and displayed neediness, I do want her to come back to me in future and hopefully try again once the bad feeling is let go. What further complicates things is that I dumped her by text, and unimpressed at this she simply replied for me to ‘have a nice life’ (we’d only been official for all of about 6 weeks, communication had broken down and in my breakup message I offered to meet or call to talk it over, so it’s a BS reaction on her part).

  27. My ex and I have been separated now for 10 weeks. She blames me for everything. But I want her back so badly. I screwed up and didn’t see this before I started looking desperate and texting her 800 times a day. And now she told me she is dating. And I think I’ve lost her for good. From your knowledge do I still have a chance? I am trying the walk away method. I did text her “I’m letting go. Contact me if you change your mind”. But I just wanna know if I stand a chance or if I’ve ruined everything?

  28. – a relationship of 3 years, all 3 years lived together
    – went to another country for a better future
    – always talked about the future, marriage, children, wedding, etc.
    – I’d be able to relax more than once and not give her attention and passion to the relationship because I really believed she was the one
    – She was freaking out about it and saying all the time that she misses it.
    – after that, I’d get better, but like I said, I believed she was the one, and i’d relax again after a while.
    – she broke up because she’s afraid I’m going to stay like that way in the marriage.
    – I’ve always been there for her and she knows I’m a very good guy, and she said that herself and that maybe she’ll regret it one day because of that decision.
    – she don’t say anything bad about me to other people because she knows I’ve been very good, she say all good about me
    – in the last conversation, she said that she still loves me, that she misses me and that she misses all our things and that she has to think about herself right now and that she wants to be a friend and that I can always call her for coffee or a walk
    – now we live separately and there has been no contact for a month except congratulations for birthday and Easter
    – the current situation is very difficult for me, I wonder if she’s thinking about me and if she might want to reconnect and she doesn’t know how because I told her that once I break up, I don’t want to go back.
    – I am 30 years old, she 25

    Anybody have an idea what to do to get her back

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