Why having an abundance mindset and outcome independence is essential to creating and maintaining romantic attraction and getting what you want in your personal and professional life.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an update to the email success story from one of the viewer’s emails that I discussed in my video, “A True Alpha State of Mind.” He writes in to discuss how his abundance mindset and being outcome independent was the difference that made the difference that caused his girl to fall for him and still see him as being unlike anyone else she has ever dated.
He also shares how it helped him to crush a job interview and get a great new job when he relocated to a brand new city. His girlfriend has a master’s degree in psychology and was skeptical about my work and thought it was playing games until she read my book, “How To Be A 3% Man” herself. He shares how it’s helped her to become more feminine, attractive and made a massive difference in their relationship. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
We’re going to talk today about the 3% Club. This is an update from the video I did a couple of months ago called “A True Alpha State of Mind”. One of the guys who was one of the two success stories that I went through in that particular video wrote an update, because he’s still highly engaged and involved with my work, and so is his girlfriend, who happens to have a master’s degree in psychology.
She has gotten involved in my work as well and read my book, so we’ll get feedback from a master’s in psychology who is dating a very, very good student of mine and a guy who embodies what I teach. Obviously, they’re both in the 3% Club, because they get it.
He gives some good examples of having an abundance mindset, how she kind of tested him a little bit and broke his balls, and his response to her. Remember, women bluff to test. There was a video I did this past week where I talked about testing, “Passing Her Tests & Turning Her On.”
So, here’s a great student of my work, and he details some things that his current girlfriend did to test his strength. He also relays how being outcome independent from things he wanted helped him land a new job. This particular guy moved from where he knew everyone to a completely new city and started all over. He had to make a new group of friends, create a social life, and obviously, he met the woman he’s in a relationship with now.
I’m the poor schmuck that wrote in a couple of months ago. I had just come out of a 25-year marriage, and you actually ended up doing a video called “A True Alpha State of Mind” about my story.
You’re right about the fact that I’m in my early 50s, and that I moved to a new location where I didn’t know anyone! It was an incredibly difficult time, but it has ended up being an amazing experience.
Well, your comfort zone is going to be where you’re most uncomfortable. In other words, you’re going to grow the most when you step outside your comfort zone. And this guy was twenty-five years in a relationship and moved across the country. Twenty-five years is a long fucking time.
After twenty-five years, what’s the average person going to be thinking? “My life is over. That’s it. The best years are behind me now. It’s all over for me.” Not this guy, because he had this fucking handsome devil on his side, “How To Be A 3% Man.”
If this is your first video you’re watching, if you go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, all you’ve got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter, and you can read my second book “Mastering Yourself” and my first book “How To Be A 3% Man” for free.
So, this guy’s embodied what I teach in both of these books. He’s a self-reliant man, and that’s what I’m all about. I’m a self-reliance coach, a life coach that teaches and specializes in self-reliance. And that means getting you to the point where you don’t need me anymore.
One thing that I meant to emphasize during my email earlier, and that is how CRUCIAL the concept of “outcome independence” was in MY success.
In other words, you have a goal, you want to achieve something, but you’re not attached to the outcome. You’re okay if it happens. If it doesn’t happen, that just means there’s another better situation or opportunity coming down the road.
When I was in real estate, oftentimes what would happen when we were flipping foreclosure properties, something would happen. We’d have a title problem or something, and then the property would sit for six months before we could do anything with it. Or we’d get it sold, we’re ready to close, and then the guy backs out at the last minute or can’t come up with his money. And almost 100% of the time, my attitude was, “Well, we’ll just make more money.”
What would happen is the appraiser would come back and appraise it higher than what we thought it was worth, or the rehab budget would be a little under what we thought it was going to be, because we tended to under-promise and over-deliver. And we always ended up making more money in the deals. That was always my mindset. We’d find a way to make it up or make more money. It was a mindset.
Your mindset plays a big part, and obviously knowing what you’re doing, being competent. And that’s what this guy is embodying. He’s embodying competence, because he’s read the book dozens of times, he’s watched countless videos, and he applies it relentlessly.
I’m still with the woman that I wrote about in the email, and she tells me CONSTANTLY how I’m not like ANYONE that she’s ever dated.
That’s another reason why “How To Be A 3% Man” means you basically 3% dominate in every aspect of life, and most guys are not. If you’re watching this video, you’re already way ahead of 90% of the people you’re going to encounter in life, because most people won’t even take the time to watch a video like mine or much less read a book. And even much less than that, actually apply it and go out, get results and get better. If you’re watching this, it’s because you’re the cream of the crop.
The funny thing is that I told her about you, and your work. She actually bought and read your book and calls me your #1 student.
Nice complement. I like this girl already.
Before reading your book she wasn’t really happy about your teachings and thought that you were teaching men to “play games.”
It’s all a game. Love is playful and fun. You want to make a game of it. Not out of manipulation, but because it’s fun, it’s playful, you tease, you goof around. Life is bad enough, and there’s enough bad shit going on in the world to be upset and miserable. You just don’t need any additional assistance to come up with reasons to not be happy. So, you want to be with a girl that’s got a good fucking attitude and who likes to have fun as well.
Now, she understands that you’re just teaching us to be the men that we were born to be! She has a master’s degree in psychology and found your book fascinating.
Truth is usually stranger than fiction.
It’s actually helped her to understand that it’s incredibly important for her to be in her feminine.
Absolutely, if she wants to keep you attracted, turned on, “strong like bull,” and help the general stand at attention whenever it’s required.
The sexual polarity that it has created is amazing! She totally gets it! We are both enjoying growing, together.
That is beautiful. Good for both of you.
Back to the importance of outcome independence. Early in the relationship she knew that I was still seeing other women.
Because you have abundance. Again, most guys are simply not willing to read a book like “How To Be A 3% Man” and do the work. You really don’t have any competition when you apply the things that I teach. Especially when you also incorporate the stuff in “Mastering Yourself” into your professional life.
With the wisdom that’s in there that took me a lifetime to acquire, it’s like you’re going to be the number one in every field or category that you’re involved in. Like Wayne Dyer used to say, “It’s never crowded along the extra mile.” Most people just aren’t willing to invest the time, the energy or the work to become better.
I definitely had an abundance mindset, and she knew it. She tested me a few times. Once she went so far as to text me that she thought that it was better if we didn’t see each other anymore. I responded with a, “Well, I hate to hear that. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, but I totally understand. Let me know if you change your mind.”
This is a really an important point right out of “How To Be A 3% Man”:
She knew me well enough by that point to know that my words and actions are definitely congruent, Lol!
So, as the book teaches, a woman has to know that if she pushes you too far, you will walk and never look back. Women bluff to test your strength. She could have been smiling when she wrote that. She could have been like, “He’s a little cocky bastard, and I’m going to take him down a few notches.” She threw that in there to see how he would handle it. And his answer was like, [shrug].
It was less than 60 seconds before she called me!
Women bluff to test your strength.
She couldn’t believe that I was willing to walk away so easily.
He wasn’t saying, “Well, fuck you bitch.” He was like, “I hate to hear that. It sucks. That’s not something I’m excited about. But hey, give me a call if you change your mind.”
The beauty of it is… I really was TOTALLY okay with it.
Confidence and competence right there, ladies and gentlemen.
I KNEW that there would be another bus coming along in 15 minutes!
Yep. He’s a top tier guy. Women like her, she won’t meet many guys like this. Who had all of the leverage in that situation? Most guys aren’t willing to make the effort. He holds all the cards and all the keys to the kingdom, as it should be. Because the men are supposed to be the leaders. Lead means to go first.
I’m glad that it worked out the way that it did.
So am I. What happened happened, and it couldn’t have happened any other way. And she respects you a lot more because of it. Because that communicates to her that she’s got to be on her best behavior. She can’t start being a loony cunt and expect you to put up with it. It’s like, “It’ll hurt, but I’m going to replace you.” That’s always been my attitude. People don’t get that about me. And it pisses them off, but I don’t care. I’m going to live my truth man. You’ve got to sort and qualify everybody.
But I’m also confident that we wouldn’t be together today if I didn’t stand my ground, but in a nice, and even playful, way.
He was respectful, he was playful, but he also communicated that “I’m fine with letting you go. Why would I want to be with a woman that has that attitude? That just comes out of the blue and says something like that? Sorry. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”
Also, when I was moving to the new location, I got an interview for a great job in the new city. I was SO comfortable. From the time that someone came out to take me back for the interview, through the interview, and until I left the building.
Well, in “Mastering Yourself” I go into extensive detail on my career and how I used these negotiating techniques and strategies that work — that will put you as the number one candidate in all of your interactions and have different companies bidding to hire you. And you can fucking read it for free on my website!
I didn’t even realize it until I was driving back to the hotel. The confidence of “It’ll all workout” was just overwhelming!
Yeah, just like what I was talking about earlier about my real estate days. I used to tell my partner. He’d say, “Oh man, a deal fell through,” and I’d say, “That’s alright. The appraisal just came back $5,000 higher, so we’ll make an extra grand. We’ll make more money. It was actually a good deal for us, even though that guy didn’t close, bailed out, cancelled. Whatever. We’ll sell it to somebody else and make a little bit more, because the numbers turned out to be better than I expected. It’s actually better that way. We make more money in the long run.” That’s why infinite patience is so powerful.
Your teachings have caused me to have a total confidence “reset!” But, I must say that I made my growth a priority.
You did the work, dude. That’s the important thing.
It took major effort, and practice, practice, and more practice!
That’s the important thing right there. Repetition is the mother of skill. You’ve got to put the time in. You have to get better. You have to become okay with failing, not succeeding and other people laughing at you, bitching at you, and complaining about your choices and how you’re not living the way they think you should.
It’s like, fuck them. They can pound sand. True friends will celebrate you for it. They will encourage you, and they will be with you every step of the way. Weak ass bitches, if you’ve got them in your life, they’re going to complain and whine and try to sandbag your success. You’ve got to manage the distance with those people.
Anyway, I wanted to emphasize how important the concept, no, the reality of “outcome independence,” was and is in my continued success. I’ve listened to your book “3% Man” twice more since the last email, and things are still going great!
Thanks again, Coach!
How cool is that? Even though he’s got all of this success, he’s not getting cocky, he’s not getting complacent. Because this relationship is new, and he’s also in the honeymoon period at this point, he’s still trying to get better. That’s great for him, and I’m sure his queen appreciates that as well. So here’s to both of you, and welcome to the 3% Club.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Successful people have an abundance of possibilities in both their personal and professional lives. Competence and confidence attracts lots of opportunities. Being competent and confident communicates high value to others. Becoming a person of value is what gives every high achiever an advantage over almost everyone else. You attract how you act. Developing yourself by a commitment to incremental daily improvement in all areas of your life that are important to you will ensure that you always have unlimited personal and professional options.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Click Anywhere on Today’s Instagram Image Below & You’ll Be Taken To My Instagram Page. When you get to my Instagram page, click the “Follow” Button so you can follow me on Instagram. I upload several new Instagram photos per week.