How changing your thinking and approach to dating creates a superior mindset, ensures you stand up for yourself and helps you make sure you are making a good romantic choice by no longer thinking, “Is she going to like me?” and instead thinking like a superior man would, by thinking, “Am I going to like her?”
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how implementing my work over the past fourteen months has radically changed his life for the better in many areas. His self-confidence is through the roof; he quit smoking, eliminated toxic people from his life and has started a great new job recently. He shares some of the ups and downs he has had along the way, and some of his dating successes he has had with women of many different nationalities. He also talks about how changing his thinking has had a dramatic positive impact on how women respond to him. He is dating a really great woman, and she is already starting to hint about exclusivity after about a month of dating. It’s another inspiring success story for anyone who may still be struggling to put it all together. I have done one phone session with him, answered several of his email coaching emails and answered one of them in a previous video coaching newsletter titled, “Advantages Of Dating Multiple Women,” where you can check out the progression of his success. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
How are you? I’ve been following your work for a year and have read your book 15 times already. We had one phone coaching session, and you have answered 4 of my e-mails, which has been a great support to help me improving my life. If useful for other readers, your last newsletter reply to my e-mail was “Advantages Of Dating Multiple Women,” and you go through the improvement since I started following your work. This is helpful to see the ups and downs for those of you struggling today. (It’s cool you want to help the next group of guys coming along, by giving them positive encouragement and helping them see what you now see.) Remember: I’ve been there, done that, got that t-shirt, and have even been stood up once, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. How can you get there? Practice, practice and read this fucking amazing book by Corey Wayne!
I’m feeling great every day, quit smoking and gave up toxic relationships with negative people. (That’s really important. The quality of your life is going to be in direct proportion to the quality of the people you spend your time with. A lot of times, to get to where you want to be in life, you have to let people go and surround yourself with people who are better and more successful than you, and further along in their journey. Those people will pull you up with them.) I started a new job and have dated amazing women from different nationalities. Last year, I would have gone on dates thinking, “Is she going to like me? What should I do or say?” (What you should be asking yourself is, “Is this girl a good match for me?” If you’re worried about saying something that pisses her off, she will see you as someone who doesn’t have a spine and doesn’t have the confidence to stand up for what you believe in and speak your truth. You will get blown off.) After reading your book, listening to your videos and going on many dates, I’ve changed my mindset, and I now go on dates with a different attitude thinking, “Am I going to like her?” I always focus on having a great time, nice conversations, kissing her on the first date if I like her, and I still behave like James Bond. (You ask the kind of questions they enjoy answering.) I no longer kiss and tell my friends after a date. (That’s very smart, because gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. Plus, other people may think, by sabotaging your success with a woman, they may get a shot with her.) One girl I’ve been dating mentioned she is happy to go on dates with me and happy with how I plan them; She loves the fact that I keep the mystery, and she is showing signs of looking for exclusivity after 4 dates. (If you’re sticking to one date per week, it takes about a month to go on four or five dates. That’s usually about the time she starts to call or text more.) I’m sticking to the once-a-week rule at the moment, since I’m really busy as well. I have shared my whole story and your work with 2 friends of mine so far, as I really trust them, and one of them already got your book. (Hopefully those guys won’t violate your trust.)
Coach, I really can’t thank you enough. My life has completely changed, little by little, in the past 14 months, and I’m getting closer to becoming the man I always wanted to be, happy and, quoting Thoreau, “going confidently in the direction of my dreams.” Thank you, and have a great ending to 2015! (Thanks for sharing the encouragement for those who may be struggling.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“A superior man knows he is a catch and does not automatically assume a woman is great girlfriend material just because she is beautiful and charming. Most guys are approval seeking and desperate when they start dating new women and are usually wondering, “Is she going to like me?” instead of, “Am I going to like her?” Men who have choices with women are trying to determine if new women they just met are good for them, in the same way most women are focused on trying to determine if the new men they just met are good for them. Neediness, desperation and impatience lead to bad relationship choices for both men and women. Take your time, maintain your emotional self control and choose wisely based upon consistent good behavior, instead of only paying attention to how sexy and desirable someone is.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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