Have you ever started dating a woman and knew for sure that you did everything right, but she became flaky and blew you off suddenly, or chose another man over you?
Women will always choose men who they are most emotionally invested in, or the guy who they have spent more time with. This article will explain how to properly leave the door open so she can come back to you when the other guy screws up.
Keep in mind as I discuss in my book, that only 3/100 men understand women. That means if a woman blows you off for another guy, there is a 97% chance he will screw it up and she will contact you when it happens to give you another shot.
Most women always have 2 to 3 guys they can call up at any time who would love to take them out for a date. Why? If she’s not really serious with the guy she is seeing, or deep down she knows he is not what she wants long-term, she will keep other men in the background as replacements or backup in case/or when he screws it up as long as you don’t walk away pissed off and butt-hurt, but instead simply say, “give me a call or shoot me a text if it doesn’t work out.” Then walk away and forget about her. She is simply another possibility in your Garden of Eden, that may sprout into something later. If you’ve got a chance with her, and when the other guy screws up, she will call, text, e-mail, etc. you. When she does, you must be ready for it. Be direct and make definite plans with her.
A man who is confident enough to make definite plans and a definite date by simply asking for it, communicates his male dominance and worthiness to a woman. This is a male strength characteristic that women are naturally drawn to and desire. Feminine women expect masculine men to take the initiative, be direct and handle things. They don’t leave things up in the air for her to decide. She may call, text, e-mail, etc., and she may or may not bring up getting together or making a date. Women help you when they like you. You must assume that when a woman calls you after not hearing from her for days, weeks, months or even longer that she is now available and hoping you will take the initiative and the hint to make a definite date with her. So make the date, tell her, “I’ll see you then!” and get off the phone.
I have one of my phone coaching clients who has gone out with this girl he calls “the model chick” who blew him off for another guy after they had a passionate and fantastic date together where she was all over him. After he and I went over everything that he did on the date, we determined he did everything right. This other guy was obviously someone she had more time in with and who she was emotionally invested in. My client only had one date with her. She could have known this other guy for a long time, and he may even be an ex-boyfriend of hers. She has contacted him again out of the blue after not hearing from her for a few months. However, he failed to be direct, take the initiative and make a definite date with her. She even asked him out for a date and a weekend of camping. That tells me that this other guy has finally screwed it up, or is on the verge of screwing it up for good. She also mentions she wants to bring her kid. This could show a high level of trust, and that she is wanting to see how he acts around her child. This also could mean that she could see herself getting serious with my client. A woman usually will not bring her child or children around men that she knows deep down are not good father figure material. It can also mean that she is tired of messing around with guys who are not the type of guys she wants to help raise her child. Here is his e-mail with my comments (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
How are you brother? I hope all is well your way there in Florida. As for me, dude I have been under the fucking gun with school, I have been stressed lately with all the classes that I have been taking. I just need to find balance, easier said than done tho (Yep, it’s a process).
Anyways as for the ladies situation, the model chick texted me like you said she would (Master Yoda is wise), and she was laying it on thick, saying she wanted to come here to see me, I told her let me know when she has time and I will set something up (you fucked up here. When a woman suggests a date or that the two of you should get together, it is blatantly obvious that she is hoping you’ll take the hint and make a definite date with her. Instead, it’s a failure to go for the close. You got to finish my man!), anyways to make a long story short, she asked me if I would be interested going camping with one caveat.
Her kid was going and if I didn’t mind that so I replied jokingly, “hell no I don’t want to go, lol jk that would be cool I don’t mind if you don’t mind,” so she replied saying “no babe I don’t mind, I will keep you posted when I find out more. So I said cool. Well anyways as the week went on she was texting me all the time with “goodmorning, goodnight sweetie, how was your day? (The phone, texting, e-mail, etc. is for making dates! Setting appointments only! Not for giving out information or to chitchat) and so on, I would keep the texts short as I could, telling her I was busy with work or school, which I was, (every incoming text from her was an opportunity to make a definite date, but instead you are putting it on her to do the man’s job! You got to finish!) so one day she text me saying she liked getting text from me, and I replied jokingly saying “my heart goes peterpatter when I get a text from you ;)” and she said “do you really? I never responded (Another fuck up by not responding. When she said, “really?” I would have said, “what do you expect? You’re a pretty damn good kisser! Our lips really seemed to like each other. So we need to help them out so they can see each other again 🙂 What days are you free this week?”), well after that the volume of text’s decreased (yep, you failed to make the date and this communicated that you are too busy, really not that interested in her or that you don’t know what you are doing with women), so I just left it at that, so the week went on, well last weekend the weather was real shitty, and I never got any info from her saying the trip got cancelled or if it was still on (that is why you make definite plans with a definite date and time to get together), I was going to text her to see what was going on then I caught myself, I said “hell no don’t fuckin do it,” she said she would keep you posted if she hasn’t then oh well, so I haven’t heard from her yet, in the mean time I went out with my cousins Saturday night and met some cool gals out at the club, and got some numbers, so that’s whats going on in my life, what do you think brother, was I being not a challenge by expressing my emotions (you acted like a woman by being vague, noncommittal and up in the air instead of acting like a man and making definite plans with her. That is not behavior that will cause a woman to feel sexual attraction for you. It will cause her to lose interest) by that last text? I must admit I have been thinking about it a lot lately. any advice would be great. After watching your news letters and articles, you are absolutely right, where I am going wrong is, I tend to project my interest level on her as well as being easily accessible and basically being “dopey” like you say. I’ve identified where I am going wrong just by watching what you put out on your news articles. those thing are a blessing especially when I think I am fucking up. LOL. anyways let me know what you think Coach Corey. Look forward to hearing from you (stop playing games with this girl. When you hear from her make a definite date. What is happening when she gets in touch with you is that you start running around in circles and accomplish nothing, and then you just blow her off or stop responding to her in mid conversation. You must make the date! You are acting like you expect her to handle the plans. Her job is to let you know she is available and dance around in your world to get your attention. Your job is to accept her and create an opportunity for sex to happen by asking her out for a date. Next time you hear from her, try to make a definite date. You must strike while the iron is hot. Women are emotional beings and therefore, never feel the same moment to moment. Her feelings may be different tomorrow, especially if other guys she knows are more direct than you have been).
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“In my mind, I’m always the best. If I walk out on the court & I think the next person is better, I’ve already lost.” -Venus Williams