Bro Code Violations. Why Men Should Hold Women Accountable

Why men should hold women accountable to prevent bro code violations.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update to a previous newsletter, Why 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back Works. He shares what happened after he hooked up with a woman who came back years later. She recently reached out to invite him to visit her in Europe and mentioned she’d been hooking up with a friend of his, but wanted to see him anyway.

He shares how he held her accountable. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, over the last several years, I see a lot of people going, “Who’s gonna hold women accountable?” Well, the reality is, since men are supposed to be the leaders, it’s our job. So when there’s any kind of unethical things going on, women exhibiting bad behavior, or other guys for that matter, it’s a man’s job to instill a sense of honor and make sure everybody does what they’re supposed to be doing.

This particular email is actually my answer to previous newsletter a few months back titled, Why 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back Works. In that particular email, he’s been following me for several years. He’s never really had a chance to use that because he said, for the most part, every time a relationship was over, he didn’t really care to go back. Before he came across my work, there was a girl he had been dating and he just displayed too much unattractive, needy and clingy behavior that drove her away. Here he didn’t hear anything for years, and I think it was like two or three years later, she reached back out. He invited her over. They hung out, had fun, hooked up and did that for a bit. Then I guess she was in Europe, I think he’s from the States, he travels a lot for his work. She recently reached out again and said she’d like to see him, and he’s going to be traveling to Europe soon. She’s like, “Hey, I would like it if you’d stop by to see me.”

Now keep in mind, they didn’t get back together or anything. They were just kind of like friends with benefits, sex playmates, that kind of thing. Then she proceeds to tell him that she’s basically hooking up with a really good friend of his, but she still wanted to see him, and he was like, “Well, if you’re dating my buddy, I love you both, but I’m gonna pass. It wouldn’t be right.” So she tries several times to get him to agree to it, and he just did not.

So what I like is this guy is just doing the right thing. If his buddy’s dating the girl now, he’s like, you keep it all in the family, but he’s not gonna do anything to invite dishonor, dishonesty or encourages women to potentially cheat on his buddy. He’s just like, “Hey, you’re seeing my guy friend. Love you both. Have a good time, but it would be inappropriate for me to get involved,” which is the right thing to do. So if that kind of stuff happened more often in society, there would be less incidence of this kind of ratchet fuckery that goes on. I mean, at the end of the day, when women do bad things, there’s usually a guy on the other end that has low character as well who’s inviting it and enabling it.

Viewer Email:

Dear Corey,  

Thanks so much for responding to my email with your video. I have an entertaining follow up story.

After hooking up, Jessica and I went our separate ways. I went back on the road with my magic show and she went back to Europe. I am gonna be in Europe soon on tour and we discussed maybe meeting up when I’m over there but nothing concrete. Anyways, she recently messaged me on WhatsApp and asked to talk. I said, “Sure, let’s talk” and we set up a time to chat. I was surprised to hear from her because it had been some weeks since we’d last spoken. 

When we spoke she said she wanted to meet up in Europe but felt bad because she had also been hooking up with my friend and wanted to see how it panned out with him.

So it’s like she’s putting it on the table. At the end of the day, if you’re supposed to be the leader, you got to set the standards. “Well, you’re seeing my buddy. You just said you want to see how it turns out with him. I can’t get involved.” Even though she’s putty, she opens herself up to it. He’s like, “No, that wouldn’t be the right thing to do. If you’re hooking up with my buddy and you want to see where it goes, then you need to focus on him.” How many guys would have the self-control to do that?

I said, “Hey, nothing to feel guilty about. We’re not exclusive, I always just assumed you were seeing other people as I am. I love both you guys and I’m happy for you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to stay involved while you are seeing one of my best friends. That’s just the standards I’ve set for myself and the people I let into my life.” We then made small talk for a bit and I ended the conversation to get back to work.

Fast forward a few weeks and she reaches out again.

Remember, women are going to test your purpose. She wants to see him. He said no. Either way, she’ll respect him more because he stood up to her and said, “Hey, this is not the right thing to do. You need to focus on my buddy. I’m not going to tolerate any fuckery.” Again, men are supposed to hold women accountable and children for that matter, and our fellow man. Character is destiny. Whatever you tolerate, you invite more of. Just remember that.

“Hey…” Which I ignored. Then a few hours later, “I hope I didn’t hurt you by hooking up with your friend…”

Now she’s trolling him a little bit.

…Which I also ignored.

She’s just trying to get a rise out and see if he’s bothered by it.

Then days went by and she sent, “I hope we can still meet up in Europe.”

See, women just keep trying because the more he resists, the more attractive and enticing it becomes because he’s being a challenge. What does it say in the Bible about women, the apple and Adam and Eve?

I again replied that it’s a free country, free event and she’s free to attend my magic show as is everybody, but that it’s not a good idea for us to see each other while she’s hooking up with my best friend. She replied, “That was a mistake. I just want to see you.”

Remember, didn’t she just say, “Well, I want to see where it goes with him?” He’s like, “No, I’m not getting involved. You’re dating my best friend.”

I reasoned that neither she nor my friend were serving me by having them in my life anymore and anyways by this time, I was seeing someone else. So I kindly replied, “I wish you all the best, but it’s not gonna align with my life right now. Maybe in the future if we’re both single we can have some fun but I’m seeing someone else right now. I wish you all the best.” She did not respond.

Best,

Bob

So just that last paragraph, it also looks like maybe his friend was dating this girl, knowing that he used to or had recently hooked up with her because at the end of the day, it doesn’t sound like his friend, his best friend, or maybe former best friend had notified him he found out from her. So maybe this guy has taken care of operational security and nobody knows, including his best friend, that he was actually dating and hooking up with her or had seen her again. Maybe they’re part of the same social circle. He didn’t really elaborate, but at the end of the day, he just said, “I’m not going to get involved in this.”

I mean, bro code would say, if you’re going to date somebody that your friend dated, you should have a conversation instead of just going and doing it, because again, that’s that’s bro code. “Hey, so and so expressed interest in me. I know you guys used to date or I know you guys hooked up, but I’d like to take her out and see where it goes, but only with your blessing. As long as everything’s completely finished with you guys,” and see what your buddy says. That would be the right thing to do, the honorable thing to do, instead of just going and trying to mow somebody else’s lawn, especially somebody that’s supposedly a close friend. Anyways, good job in doing the right thing!

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