Cheating & Karma. You Reap What You Sow. Choose Wisely.

Why liars and cheaters can’t outrun karma and always reap what they sow.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a guy who is a liar and a cheater who is experiencing his karma for cheating on his ex-girlfriend multiple times. After he got dumped he chased her and acted crazy. He wants her back, and they are basically friends with benefits, but they are also roommates with 2 other people, and she brings other guys over and has sex with them while he hears all of the grunting and moaning, as other guys take his now ex-girlfriend to pound town.

The walls are paper thin apparently. He wants her all to himself, but she doesn’t want to get back together. This email is amusing and unusual, but a fun one to discuss on a Friday! My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

If you’ve cheated on your girlfriend eight times, you’re not going to be faithful to her. I don’t give a damn what you say. That’s just who you are. And as Maya Angelou said, “When somebody tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” So, it’s Friday, and I thought, I should give you an email to kind of chuckle at.

I read through this, and it’s like the kind of thing you hear about on Jerry Springer, you know, who just passed away a few months back. He was one of the original guys that brought these kinds of situations. And then we had Morton Downey Jr. in the 80s, and they’d have people on, and and chairs would be flying. That’s how Geraldo Rivera got his nose broken. There was a fight that broke out on one of his TV shows, because they’d get these contentious groups of people together.

Sometimes people are sleeping with each other. Or they get a couple on the show and they do DNA tests on the kids and they find out half the kids aren’t the guy’s. And the kids end up being his best friend’s or his brother’s or his business partner’s or some other crazy stories. And then, once the information is revealed to the people, they go nuts and fists start flying. It’s good entertainment.

It’s entertaining, it’s fun to watch, it’s crazy. But, like I said, when I read this email, that’s what I thought of. I thought of Jerry Springer, I thought of Morton Downey Jr. I thought of Geraldo Rivera, you know, getting a chair thrown in his direction and broke his nose. I remember that was very famous when that happened in the 80s, by the way. And you can watch that on YouTube in all of it’s glory. Just look at Geraldo Rivera getting his nose broken on his TV show.

So, that’s not going to happen here. It’s just a messy situation from. You can’t outrun karma. You can’t cheat on your girlfriend eight times, get dumped, and then expect that she’s going to, number one, be loyal and faithful to you, and number two, be respectful. Because, you’ll see in a second, it’s like, whoa! This is a doozy.

Viewer’s Email:

Corey,

I’ve only been watching your videos for about 3 weeks, and I just got your book. My ex and I broke up because I cheated on her 8 times.

Eight times. Why not ten? You could have gotten into double digits. You were almost there.

And when we broke up, I chased her and acted crazy, because we still live together with 2 roommates, and she was bringing guys over, and flirting with them, and talking about having sex with them in front of me.

I mean, it’s obvious she’s probably doing it in your face, but also, she just doesn’t really care. Because if you cheated on her eight times, I mean, the first time you got caught, it was like, you didn’t care. You didn’t care the second time, you didn’t care the third. You didn’t care the fourth time, you didn’t care the sixth time. It’s like, come on, man.

My opinion is guys that live like this should just never get serious with anybody, because they’re just not going to be loyal and faithful. Definitely with this girl, he doesn’t want to be loyal and faithful to her. But rejection breeds obsession. He didn’t care about her, until all of a sudden, now she’s bringing dudes home to the same house that they live in together and sleeping with them.

Throughout this time of being broken up, we’ve had sex probably 8 times, but she doesn’t want to get back to me, is talking to at least 10 other guys, and has had sex with 2 or 3.

Well, 2 or 3 that you know of. She may be sleeping with all of them.

Now she has moved out with her mom for a little for non-related reasons to me, and I have not been contacting her at all unless she contacts me first. 

Well, I mean, you never try to keep somebody who doesn’t want to keep you. And quite frankly, you weren’t trying to keep her either if you cheated on her eight times.

I told my ex I didn’t want to be just friends and wanted more, and my ex keeps calling me at least 3 to 4 times a week, normally late at like 9-3 in the morning.

Well, that’s fun.

And I follow the instructions, keep the calls short and ask her to meet up.

I mean, 3:00 in the morning, it’s like I’m sleeping. I’m not answering the phone for nobody. I don’t care how good the sex is. If I’m tired, “Babe, I’ll see you in the morning.”

The first time I said to come over around 9:00, after I get out of the gym. She said no, but she showed up out of nowhere and we hung out, made out, and she was asking who I’ve been hanging out with and was getting upset, so I told her no one, and she was happy.

“Well, I’m hanging out with you, cutie.”

Then she called me at 3:00 in the morning on a weekend, and I said, “Wanna come over?” And she said, no, she doesn’t want to have sex. And I said, “How about Sunday at 7 pm, and I’ll make dinner?” She said she’ll call me in the morning to let me know her plans, and she never called.

So, typically, if you’re following what’s in “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” if they reach out two times in a row and you ask them to come over both times, you don’t bring up getting together until they do.

Then 3 days later she shows up in my bedroom at 10:30 and wants to talk to me. We have sex, then she tells me about another guy she’s going to bring to the house and other guys she’s going on dates with…

You guys are like pals. I mean, it’s like a couple of dudes. Oh, “Who’d you hook up with this weekend?” “Oh, yeah, I banged that girl.” “Oh, yeah. You banged that dude?” You could compare stories. She’s like, “I got a train run on me, and there there were ten men in the room.” She’s probably stacking a dozen bodies a week.

…and I just shrug it off, and she kisses me goodbye then leaves. I’m wondering if I should continue to ask her to meet up when she calls or not, because in the book it says after she rejects 2 hangouts, you shouldn’t ask her to hangout any longer, and how to even play this situation.

Well, I mean, she is coming over, but you’ve got to think of it like tennis. And you definitely need to read the book, which will help you. But it’s like, if she reached out, you assume she wants to see you. You make a date, and hang out, and have fun, and hook up. I mean, obviously you don’t care about loyalty, monogamy, and exclusivity. And I don’t want to hear, “Oh, yeah, I do.” No, you cheated on your girlfriend eight times, dude. It’s like, you don’t value it at all.

You’re more of a friends with benefits, kind of like a dude that is is marching to the beat of his own drum. He’s not going to settle down with anybody. Because if you just don’t value loyalty and monogamy, you’ll lie. You’ll say, “Yeah, we’re exclusive, ” but then when an opportunity arises, and you’ll just cheat on somebody else.

Update: The night after me and her had sex she went on a first date with a guy and brought him home…

Obviously, back to the place where they lived.

…and had sex with him, and I couldn’t sleep for hours on hours out of anger, because I could hear the whole thing. 

You reap what you sow, man. You did it to yourself. This is the bed you made. Congratulations. Enjoy sleeping in it.

He left early in the morning, so I asked if she had a guy over and she said, yes. Then I said, “Did you have sex?” and she said, no.

She’s a liar, you’re a liar. You’re both cheaters. It’s like, you guys deserve each other. You just shouldn’t be delusional to think that either one of you are going to be exclusive. And I would practice safe sex, because it’s obvious that you’re not the first guy with her. And she obviously wasn’t the first. And it’s definitely not going to be the last girl that you hook up with. This guy is a Latino. Latino men have been known for having mistresses. It’s just kind of part of the culture.

And I said, “What did you do?” And she said, “We didn’t go all the way. That’s all I’m telling you. Get out of my room, so I can sleep.” Then I said, “Okay goodbye,” and I went to work. I know it was a mistake asking her, but I didn’t start an argument or anything.

You’re not going to be loyal to her, she’s not going to be loyal to you. This is just a friends with benefits. She can do whatever she wants, just like you can. And, quite frankly, that’s the best arrangement for your situation. It’s kind of delusional for either one of you two clowns to think that you’re going to be loyal, exclusive, and monogamous with each other.

I kind of played it off cool but still asked her about what she did.

Well, she lied to you. So, hey, like attracts like. I mean, that’s just a universal principle. Water seeks its own level. You attract how you act. If you want to be a loyal, faithful, and exclusive dude, you’ve got to behave that way. And you’re cheating on her eight times, it’s like, nah. Nope, you’re not going to be loyal and faithful to anybody.

I wouldn’t trust this dude as far as I could throw him, but I’m sure he’d be funny and have some funny stories. Probably a cool dude to hang out with, but he’s just not loyal. And if you leave him alone with your girlfriend or your wife, he’s going to be trying to slide in there, because it won’t matter.

At this point I don’t know if it’s even worth speaking to her or living with her anymore. 

Dude, just think of it as she’s just one of the girls in your rotation. She’s one of the girls on your practice squad, and vice versa. You’re one of the dudes in her Rolodex, so don’t get it twisted. Don’t be thinking that it’s possible for the two of you to be loyal and faithful. It’s just hang out, have fun, and hook up when the opportunity arises.

And other than that, keep dating and hooking up with other women. I mean, at least this way, the two of you don’t have to live a lie anymore where you’re trying to be faithful to one another. This way, it’s like, she knows where you’re at, you know where she’s at. She’s bringing home dudes and banging them in the bedroom next door, and you’re hearing all the noises, and then she lies to your face, “We didn’t go all the way.” You’re like, “I heard all the noise. Come on.”

Another update. I decided to just tell her if she doesn’t want to be exclusive, I don’t want to speak to her, and if she changes her mind to let me know. 

Bob

Yeah, that’s stupid, dude. That’s just delusional thinking. If I was her, I wouldn’t be exclusive with you. It’s like, what have you ever done to demonstrate that you’re a loyal man? You’re just not. It doesn’t mean anything to you. That’s a fact. I know you don’t like it. I’m sure deep down you’re like, “Oh, I want to be loyal and faithful.” But if we look at your actions, the actions tell us everything about character. And character is destiny.

And so, in my opinion, I wouldn’t have told her that. I mean, you’re living in the same house. And so, if you’re saying, “I don’t want to speak to you anymore,” what’s going to happen? She’s going to probably troll you even worse. She’s going to probably bring even more dudes over there, especially guys that are really loud in the bedroom, so you can really hear what’s going on. “I don’t want to speak to you.” And she’s going to bring other guys back to your house. It’s like, I wouldn’t have done that.

I would have just left it as an open relationship. That’s basically what it is. You’re in an open relationship. She’s just one of your sexual partners. She’s one of your friends with benefits. This is who you are, this is who she is. So, it’s like, why pretend? Why try to be something that you’re not? Embrace who you are and keep your rotation going. Just like the practice squad on any NFL team is always churning their roster, you’re going to be doing the same. She’s just one of the girls on your practice squad. So, keep hanging out and having fun and hooking up with other girls.

And my advice to you is not to be exclusive. Because if you’re not loyal to anybody, you’re going to constantly attract into your life other women who are also not loyal to anybody. You all belong to the streets. But I’m sure you know, it’s pretty funny. You’ve probably got lots of funny stories, probably cool dude to hang out with and laugh with. But this guy’s not going to be loyal to anybody. So, I hope you enjoyed our little Jerry Springer moment, and Morton Downey Jr. May they both rest in peace.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.