Do I Treat Her Like An Ex & Use 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back?

How to know if you should treat her like an ex & use 7 principles to get an ex back.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. He started dating and hooking up with a hot female bandmate. However, he basically talked and texted her out of liking him. She backed off and said she needed time to process. She’s reaching out again, but only talking about work stuff. He wonders if he should treat her like an ex or just make the next date. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Do I Treat Her Like An Ex & Use 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back?”.

Well, this particular emails from a viewer he’s kind of new to my work. And so he started dating and hooking up with a hot female bandmate of his. I guess she’s been kind of in his band for a couple of years, but he says he always kept it professional. And then one night they were like hanging out, probably after their set was over, and she basically confesses that she had a crush on him for like two years. So they started hanging out, having fun and hooking up.

But he got really hooked. He started smothering her. And he talked, texted and basically chased her out of his life. So then he went into No Contact because she’s like, “oh. I feel like an old married couple. It’s like it’s moving too fast. I need time to process.” Because it started feeling like a relationship. And that, I guess, is when he kind of came across my work.

And so now she’s starting to reach out again. But the thing she’s bringing up is just strictly stuff about the band. And so he’s wondering, like, “do I make a date? Do I do nothing? Do I treat her like an ex and follow 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, or do I just keep it professional?”

So this is like one of those kind of special, unusual cases where you’re trying to apply what’s in the book and the Article and Video 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Because she did dip for a while, because it looks like he smothered her, got a little dopey, chased her out of his life. But now it looks like she’s starting to come back.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

Thank you for all the content you have put out for free. You are truly making the world a better place. I apologize for the click-bait subject but can confirm that your teachings are spot-on based on my empirical experience.

Well, say it all the time if you think I’m totally full of shit. If you apply what’s in the book, you’ll get better results and you’re getting on your own. And if you’re new to my Website, you can read my books for free. All you’ve got to do is go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, subscribe to the Email Newsletter, put your first name, your email address, create a password and the books will open up right in your web browser so you can try before you buy.

And then once you see how well it works, then go buy yourself an audiobook, a Kindle version, paperback, hardcover, that kind of thing. Buy a bunch of copies for your friends. The holidays are coming up, they make great gifts. Especially we all know dudes in our lives that need the help. So maybe you pick them up a copy of a paperback book, or if you really want to go full boat and there’s somebody special, buy them a hardcover. The links to that are obviously on the Website.

I’ve never had a problem attracting beautiful women from one night stands to fulfilling long-term relationships that all ended with love and compassion, yet, I still make rookie mistakes.I would love to get help on my situation and hopefully pass that knowledge to your viewers. Last month I met the woman of my dreams and fucked it up. This is when I discovered your book and I am on my third read, cringing at all the dumb mistakes I’ve made over the years, but especially with this new girl.

Bro, we’ve all been there. We’ve all done that. We all got the t shirt. That’s why, you know, most guys, they go through the book, they’re like, “man, this is like reading a history of my own life.” Because we all make the same mistakes. We don’t know any better.

But once you go through it, and you start watching the videos, then you start to get an awareness and then you just kind of cut out all that unattractive behavior because attraction is not a choice. Mother nature has already handled that. And what most guys do is we talk, text and in essence, chase women out of our life. We talk them out of liking us when they were already predisposed to fall head over heels in love and want to have lots of babies with us.

I’m not sure which phase I’m in with her. Do I classify her as an ex? She’s worked for me on stage for two years, as a freelance performer.We were friendly but I made sure to always keep professional distance, despite the fact that she is extremely attractive.

Well, when you’re in a situation like that. Same thing in the office. It’s be nice, be respectful. How would you treat her if you were tired of fucking her? You wouldn’t do anything. If a woman really likes you, she’ll go out of her way to let you know. She’ll bump you, she’ll touch you. She’ll stand next to close to where she’s literally bumping into you. She’ll find reasons to be around you. Expose her neck, play with her hair, touch your arm, all those kinds of things. They’re all laid out in the book.

Two months ago, outside the professional context, she told me she had a crush on me since we first met. She said she was scared about the intense feelings she had for me and wanted to take things slow in order not to get hurt, I didn’t listen.

We’ve all been there. Well, it’s not so much about getting hurt like in this case what’s really happened is that she was really excited. And then he started doing and saying things that turned her off. And then her feelings and the spark and the chemistry went away.

She opened up very fast and we slept together a few times, then spent a couple of weeks away from each other. This is where I messed up, always texting, calling, gifts, future talk, all the mistakes. She was reciprocating, chasing my attention and engaging a lot. Until we reunited, a few days went by and she said, “It’s going way too fast, I feel like we’re becoming an old couple, I’m lost. I want to be with you but you need to be patient, I need time to process”.

Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. And he’s just doing too much too soon. Being too serious too soon. As the book says you buy gifts for your girlfriend or your wife, not somebody you just started casually dating. And you don’t treat her like a girlfriend unless she actually is your girlfriend.

And she’s been the one to bring that up. But until she brings it up, play ball. You’re a free agent. You’re the musician. You’re the guy that’s on stage. You’re the leader of the band. So you’re naturally in an alpha position. And so that’s one of the reasons why she was attracted to you. Plus, you were stoic and mysterious and indifferent. And my stomach is making noises.

This was my first read of the 3% Man. I turned on “No Contact” mode. We never officially broke up.

Well, you were never together. You were just kind of starting to hook up. All relationships start as just casual hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. And if you follow what’s in the book, usually week 6 or 7, maybe week 8 is at the latest is usually by the time women fall in love and they want to know where is this going?

95% of the time we spent together she saw me as a confident, composed guy, leading his team with assurance, which she’s a part of. But the 5% of us dating, I showed her an insecure, beta-version of myself.

Well, as the late, Great Doc Love says, “the average beautiful woman is like Kryptonite to the average guy. She has the power to make him fall apart.” Most guys aren’t used to being with a woman that knocks their socks off, so they try extra hard not to turn her off or upset her. Which turns them into people pleasers and makes them afraid to stand up for themselves and what they believe in and live their values and goals. And what ends up happening is you turn into a super pleaser. Super squishy. And then she starts walking all over you and treating you like a doormat. And you never stand up to her. And then she loses respect. And when she loses respect, no woman can love a man she doesn’t respect.

After three weeks of No Contact, she started reappearing online and posting things semi-related to us, while dropping small “likes” here and there. And now she seems to be warming up after a long silence, bringing professional topics through text.Do I treat her like an ex and let her do 100% of the pursuing? Or do I treat her like an early relationship and ask her out?

Well, in this case, it’s like she didn’t break it off. She just said she needed some space. So when a woman says, “I need space”, you stop moving forward until she contacts you. If she’s liking your posts and “hearting” your posts, you don’t do anything with that. She has to message you directly, either through text or through an app where she’s literally asking you a question. So in this particular case, she reaches back out and she wants to ask something about the band. You give her the answer to the band and it’s like, “hey, I’d love to see you. What’s your schedule like?”

And just assume she’s had enough space and she wants to see you and make the date. Because it’s not like she dumped you and friend zoned you and you didn’t talk for six months or two months or whatever. It’s three weeks went by, but the fact that three weeks passed just shows, you know, you did a lot of damage with the over pursuing and basically acting like a beta male, as you put it. But she did say when she wanted space, that she really did like you. But she needed three weeks.

And so what that means is her feelings are starting to bubble back up on her. And so that’s why in this particular case, I’d just make the next date and then get off the phone. Assume she wants to see you. Make the next date. If she were to reply and say, “well, I think we’d be better off as just friends”, then just say, “well then let’s just keep it professional so we can go back to the way things were. If you ever want to explore a romantic option in the future, hit me up. But I’ll consider this matter closed and just treat you professionally. And let’s not mix things up.

If you got something related to band you want to ask, hit me up. Other than that, it’s like I’m not interested in being your platonic friend and hanging out outside the band. Let’s just keep it strictly on a professional level. We’ll be bandmates and that’s it.” But I don’t see that happening here, at least with what we’ve seen so far. So all I would do is she’s reaching out, even though she’s talking about stuff with the band, say, hey, you know, give her the answer and just say, “hey, I’d love to see you. We should get together for dinner and catch up.” And then make another date. Hang out. Have fun. Hook up.

I believe the latter would trigger her at this point, so if we communicate, should I ease back into it before making concrete plans?

No. Be direct, decisive, and get right to the point. She was the one that had a crush on you for two years. It’s also possible there’s another dude in the picture. Maybe an ex came back into the picture. You just, you don’t know. But at the end of the day, assume she wants you and she wants to ride you like a wild stallion again because you are a stud that’s in a band. She did have a crush on you for two years. Her interest did drop.

But assume she’s ready to see you again and make the date. And if she says friend zone or anything like that, then you can give her the speech that I just got done saying about two minutes ago. And in other words, you just say, you know, let’s keep it professional. And say you have that conversation in a month later, she’s texting you at 9:00 at night. “Hey, what are you doing?” You just say, “come over.”

Another factor is that her relatively possessive mother who homeschooled her, is staying at hers for another two months. She’s 28, I’m 10 years older.

Thank you for your advice,

Bob

Attraction level cuts through everything. Women will abandon their kids and their family and their careers and their countries and their religion to be with men they love. So none of that matters. None of that mattered before. She had a crush on you for two years, dude. What happened was you just did and said a lot of unattractive things. And as you said, you acted like a beta male. So because now she’s starting to reach out after three weeks, let’s just assume she wants to see you and is using the work as an excuse.

Because before you started hooking up, if she’s texting you stuff about the band, you’re going to keep it professional and you’re going to give her her information. And then that’s it. You’re just going to assume it’s professional. But since you guys are hooking up and had some romance and she just asked for some space. Well, when women break the No Contact, usually that means they had enough space. But when they’ve had enough space, they don’t come back and say, “okay, I’ve had enough space. So let’s, you know, pick back up right where we were before.” They don’t do that.

They’ll kind of fly under the radar because it has been three weeks and you haven’t done anything, and she could be worried that you’re probably already hooking up with somebody else. Because if she’s been in your band, she’s probably seen you with other women, because just being in a band and doing concerts and always having lots of people around, you’re going to have women throwing themselves at you makes it pretty easy. So like I said, make the next date. Assume that’s what she’s want wanting and make it happen. Hang out, have fun, and hook up. Your job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. So do that.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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