Do I Wait 3 Days To Contact Her, Make An Instant Date Or Call When I Want To?

How to know when to contact a woman to vet her character & true interest in you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who read my book 1 time and clearly doesn’t know it. He somehow believed he must always wait exactly 3 days to call a girl after getting her number like a robot. In the last year none have replied to him after doing so. I explain why his being a poor student, looking for shortcuts, being lazy and not following instructions to take learning the book seriously caused him a lot of wasted time and rejection. I explain the nuances of the book and when to contact a woman. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Do I Wait 3 Days To Contact Her, Make An Instant Date Or Call When I Want To?”.

Well, the short answer is you can do any of the above. You’ve got to take it on a case by case basis. So I’ve got an email from a guy that he had a good friend of his who gave him a copy of my book, but this was like a year ago, and he admits that he went through it one time. And so he went through it one time. He didn’t really take the time to learn it. He didn’t listen to the instructions of why I say to read it 10 to 15 times. Because each time you go through the book, you’re going to go through, you’re going to learn maybe 7% of it, maybe eight, maybe nine. Depends on the person.

When I say 10 to 15 times, you want to read it so many times you get to know the book so well, you could teach a class on it. When you go through it one time and that’s all he did, he picked up a couple things in there. And so he got stuck on this. He basically turned himself into a robot. And he says that somehow he came away from the book believing, again, this is what happens when you don’t follow instructions. You’re not a good student, and you’re lazy and you’re looking for the shortcut to success. He went through it just looking for the quick Cliffs Notes to completely turn things around.

And so he decided that he must wait exactly three days to call every single girl after he gets her number like a robot. “I must wait three days to. This is what Corey Wayne teaches us in his book. I’ve only read it once and don’t really know what’s in the book, but it’s three days. It’s three days. No woman has responded in the last year to my three day wait. This is upsetting to me. Corey, you suck.” So he basically writes in and is like, “Oh, this is old and outdated.” It’s like, dude, you didn’t take the time to learn the book old and outdated, so you don’t understand the nuance because you never really took reading the book seriously.

And your good friend who gave you the book, who’s trying to help you out, you just completely ignored it. And all the evidence that’s all over the internet of people that had great success stories and do well with it. But if you read the book one time and that’s it, and you’re not willing to read it anymore, you might as well, quite frankly, give the book to somebody else who will take the time to read it, because this shit ain’t easy. There is no shortcut to success. And so the reason why the book is written the way it is, it gives you a lot of nuances. So there’s reason why you do these things.

You could wait three days. You could wait seven days. You could call her the next day. It really doesn’t matter. And the reason why the book is set up the way it is. Because the average guy that doesn’t know any better. What do they do? They get a girl’s number and they start fucking texting with her constantly, and they think, “Oh, I’ve got to get to know her through text and talk to her through text for a few weeks. And then once she gets to know me and sees what a great guy I am, then I should ask her out.” And so what happens is the average guy starts trying to get to know the girl through text and right after they meet, they start texting.

Maybe the same day, maybe the next day. And then what they notice is after 3 or 4 days of this, her texts start getting shorter, her replies get shorter, she takes longer to reply, and then she might just disappear for hours at a time, or a day or two at a time, and then just poof, she disappears. And the guy’s like, what happened? I thought this girl liked me. And the reality is, attraction is not a choice. Women know within three seconds if they would date you and sleep with you when they first meet you. So with that understanding, your job and what the book is designed to do is to help keep you from talking women talking and texting them out of liking you.

Plus, the book is also laid out to give you the opportunity to vet the women you’re dating because you should not be having the attitude of, “How do I get this girl to like me? How do I get her to date me? How do I get her to choose me?” It should be the same attitude that women have. Which is, “Is she good for me? Is she a good person? Does she love her dad? Is she levelheaded? Is she calm? Is she nice to me? Does she communicate like an adult? Is she honest? Does she keep her word? Is she easygoing? Easy to get along with? Does she pay her bills on time? Is her car clean? Does she keep her apartment clean? Can she hold down a stable job?”

Just minimum levels of competency that you would expect to see in another human being. If the book is designed to bring out the best and the best right away, and to bring out the worst and the worst right away. So I gave many different examples in the book. And again, if you just go through it one time really quickly and you’re not really serious. The most effective way to learn the book is to get the audiobook and put the audiobook on 2X, and then follow along in a digital or a physical copy of the book. Not be driving your car or working out in the gym and being distracted half the time when you’re listening to it.

If you’re at the gym and you’re listening to it, you see a hot girl walking by. What happens? You start thinking about her. You start fantasizing. You start thinking, “What kind of an opener can I use? How should I talk to her? When do I get the number? Does she like me?” And you’ve got all these things in your head, and now you’re completely distracted, and the audiobook is still playing, and you’re checked out for ten minutes. And then after ten minutes, you finally calmed down. Your mind kind of calms down, and you kind of start listening again. Or if you’re driving and somebody cuts you off and you’re like, you motherfucker.

And you get a little road rage going, maybe you get on the dude’s bumper and try to intimidate him, or somebody pulls, you know, all the way over in the left lane. They’re driving really slow so you tailgate them, hoping they’ll get out of the way. And they never do, because the people that do that shit, they do it on purpose. They get in the left lane on purpose and they go slow. They go to speed they want. And they love the fact that you’re back there getting pissed off and right on their ass. Or they may brake check you. And meanwhile, all this stuff is going on in, the audiobook is playing and you’re not really paying attention.

Or if you’re listening to it at home, and say you got a Sonos speaker system, but you’re doing other things around the house while you’re listening to it. You’re not really focused on it. And so if you’re going to spend the time with the book, you should do it in a way that is the most effective way to learn the material, which is to put the audiobook on 2X and then follow along with a digital or physical copy so you’re looking at the words as they’re being spoken. So it forces your eyes to look at the words as they’re being heard. And if you do it on 2X you can get through the whole entire book in four hours.

And if you’ve got the audible and the Kindle, with Kindle’s Whispersync feature, it will highlight the words as the audiobook is reading them or you’re listening to it. And so as you look at the page, you’re seeing all the words being highlighted as they’re being spoken. And you’re sitting in your room or your office or maybe even in your car, but you’re parked, you’re not driving, you’re just completely focused on the book. That’s the most effective way to really take this seriously, to learn the information. So if you’re going to take four hours to listen to the book, you’re concentrated on it for four hours. Maybe you do an hour a day. Maybe you do two hours a day. Maybe you do two hours in the morning, two hours a night.

The important thing is you’ve got to get your 10 to 15 reads in, and listens in, if you will. But they have to be quality reads and listens, not where you’re playing it as background noise, and you’re distracted half the time, and not really listening to the book. I was talking to a guy yesterday who was like, man, I’ve listened to the audiobook a bunch of times, but I don’t really feel like I get anything out of it. And it’s like, I was telling him exactly this, and he’s like, “Yeah, I drive around in my car, I’m working out. You’re right. I’m constantly distracted. Somebody cuts me off in traffic.

Now I’m checked out for ten minutes until I finally calmed down.” And so everybody that I’ve taught this to, I see it in comments all the time. I hear guys on the phone, and the phone sessions that I do with them telling me that this, is it really forces them to concentrate on the words and they learn it that way. And so you’ve got to learn the right way. You’ve got to learn effectively. You got to study properly because you want to get what’s in here into your brain. So you know it and you don’t have to think about it. And you understand the subtle nuances. And so the reason why, you know, under normal circumstances, most guys, when you look statistically, where do they meet women?

In times past it was always through. I think work was like the top 1 or 2 places where people would meet people. It doesn’t mean they work in your office. They could be a contractor or a customer or somebody that has a business that’s tangential to yours, and you work and you do things together. Like when I was in real estate, we had account executives from mortgage companies that wanted us to lend out their money and use their loan programs, and they were usually really hot girls that would come in. There was hot high IQ, had like a finance degree or something like that. And they there were cool people. They were fun to hang out with. And so what would happen is that we’d meet them.

We’d meet title agents, you know, usually the title agents were girls. Sometimes they were really cute girls. You’d meet other real estate agents. Sometimes it’s a really cute girl. And you got to meet people just in the business of real estate, in the mortgage industry, you go to trade shows, you see a bunch of people you knew. And it was if you’re a social person and you like talking to other people and you’re outgoing, it’s a great way. I met a lot of great people that I befriended in the mortgage and real estate industry, and I met a lot of women over the years that I met and dated, that worked in the industry itself. Could have been somebody who worked at an appraiser’s office.

And so people again, 1 to 2 top places people meet is through work. The second was their social connections, their friends. They go to a friend’s barbecue on the weekend or kid’s birthday party or something like that, and they get introduced to somebody, or they meet somebody that’s there. They go hang out with their buddy and their wife, and the wife has invited some of the hot single girls from the office. You start chatting and you find out you both are raving Dolphins fans or hockey fans or whatever happens to be. And you have a lot in common, you know, similar people. And that’s typically how people tend to meet.

And so but what happens if you meet somebody online or you meet somebody in the street or you’re on vacation somewhere? So you can make a date on the spot. I mean, I wrote about when I met my English girlfriend Katie, I wrote in here. I didn’t take her number and wait three days to call her. I met her at an event we were at for ten days. I saw the very first night we made eye contact. We eye fucked each other for many minutes. But she left before the event was over. Because my plan was, as soon as it’s over, I’m going to go up to her and make a date on the spot because we were both going to be there for this ten day event.

I was going to take her number and call her in two weeks or anything like that. It’s like I was going to make an instant date on spot. So she leaves early and I was like, well, there’s 3000 people were here. We’re all going to be here for ten days. I’m sure I’ll see her again. Sure enough, the very next night I go to the restaurant and she’s there waiting to get a table, and I’m walking out with another female friend of mine that we’re hanging out and having dinner with my platinum partners, and we locked eyes. And I started talking to her, and I didn’t talk to her for more than 30, 45 seconds. And I said, you were in front of me yesterday. And she said, yeah, you were right behind me.

And she even said, what shirt and the color shirt I was wearing. So she clearly remembered me. That’s high interest. I wasn’t going, gee, does this girl like me? I don’t know. It’s like, I knew instantly the way she looked at me and the way she was talking to me, she liked me. So I said, hey, let’s get together and have dinner. Why don’t we meet tomorrow night after tomorrow’s festivities end? And if you know. So as soon as it ends, we’ll meet here at the restaurant. If I get here first, I’ll get us a table. If you get here first, you get us a table. And she says, sounds great.

I gave her a hug and boom, I was out the door. 45 seconds tops, that whole thing transpired. So the next night, I didn’t see her the whole day. I show up at the restaurant and I got a seat. And then sure enough, about eight, ten minutes after I got there, I see her, she’s looking around and I waved and she she came over, gave me a hug, sat down, and obviously the rest is history. And so we spent the whole night together till about three, four in the morning. I walked her out. She took a taxi back to her place. We did some kissy poo at the table. We never did order dinner because we were so into our conversation. And then the very next day, I ran into her and we were like, just always together after that.

So it was like every single day we were hanging out. And when I would run into her and see each other and people were like, “Oh, how many years you guys been together?” I was like, “Oh, we actually just had our first date yesterday.” And people were like, what? Just because of the connection. That’s where you can get to if you learn this and you master it back and forth. So you might be on a vacation and you’re not going to take a number and wait three days. You’ll make an instant date on the spot. If a girl’s not doing anything, the date can start. Then it’s up to you.

Now, under normal circumstances, in your city, you meet a girl, and like, say you’re out with your buddies on a Friday night and you meet a girl and you’re chatting with her, and, you know, maybe you spend 20, 30 minutes talking to her and you get her number because you guys are going to go somewhere else, she’s going somewhere else with her friends. You take her number and say, “Hey, I’ll get in touch next week.” And so what happens? Say you call Tuesday, Wednesday or you text her Tuesday, Wednesday. Now this is part of where the vetting comes in, which obviously is you want to use the book for.

Because, again, we’re trying to bring out the best and the best and the worst and the worst. And so if Tuesday comes around and you text her, you call her and she’s like, “Oh, I’m so glad to hear from you. I thought maybe you lost my number, or I thought you weren’t really interested and you weren’t going to call me.” If you hear something like that, what does that tell you? She really liked you. She was hoping to hear from you. And she was disappointed that she hadn’t heard from you. But she’s glad you called. Now, if you call or text her and she’s like “You didn’t, you waited three days to call me.” Or “I haven’t heard from you in a week. I’m not interested. Nobody treats me that way.”

And she’s all mad and boss girl and fucking nasty and hostile towards you. What does that tell you about her character? You haven’t even gone on a date with her, and she’s pissed off at you. So the book right away brought out the worst and the worst. Easygoing, easy to get along with, which is what you’re looking for. The first scenario where the girl is like, “Oh, I thought you lost my number. I’m so glad to hear from you.” That means she’s easygoing. You didn’t ruffle your feathers. She’s not pissed off that you waited a few days. She’s just got a good attitude. She’s just happy to hear from you. In other words, it’s very easy to make her happy.

The second girl is pissed off that you met on Friday and Tuesday or Wednesday you finally reached out. And she’s angry and upset at you. You know that that girl’s kind of fucking nutty, and you don’t want to date a girl like that again. The book gives you all kinds of tools for your toolkit to help you evaluate the character of what you’re dealing with. Now, if you meet a girl online, say you’re on Bumble and you’re texting back and forth, and then you say, “Hey, well, let’s chat on the phone, here’s my number. Or send me yours, and I’ll give you a call.” And then say she says, “Oh, well, I like it when the guy calls me and she sends you her number, you say, “Great, I’ll hit you up.”

And then you wait 3 or 4 days to hit her up. Well, I wouldn’t be doing that because the idea this is somebody you haven’t met in person, you haven’t had time to establish rapport. So if you’re doing online dating, then the goal is to send a few messages back and forth, get her phone number or give her your number as well, and try to get on a call so you can hear a voice. See what she sounds like. And also make sure that she’s actually on there because she’s looking to date and she’s sincerely interested.

Because if you look at some of the videos in years past, when I especially like when I had Gracie on, you know, she would talk about how when she’d go out with a guy and he rejects her or the guy that she really like didn’t call her and she’s thinking, oh, wow, I guess I’m not very pretty or I guess the guy doesn’t like me. She’ll go on a dating app, get a ton of dudes hitting on her, and then leave the app without ever responding to any messages. Or trying to go out with any of them, because all she was looking for was a little validation. So there’s girls that are doing that, so you don’t want to waste your time. You want to talk to somebody who’s ready, willing, able and open to potentially dating you.

And so you send a bunch of messages back and forth, then you get the numbers, and then as soon as you get her number, it’s like, “Hey, when are you available?” And she’ll tell you when she’s available, say, “Great, I’ll give you a call then. I’d love to chat with you.” And then you call her and maybe you spend ten 15 minutes on the phone. Do you like talking to her? Do you like listening to her? Is she interesting to talk to? Does she have a sweet voice or does her voice sound annoying? Is she boring? Is she exciting? Is she kind? Is she inquisitive about you and say that conversation goes real well? Well, then the next thing is to make a date.

Then you’re going to say, “Hey, we should get together for a drink. When are you available?” And then you make the date right on the spot, right there on the phone because the phone call went well. So if a girl sends you a number online and then you don’t do anything for three days or a week, and then you reach out, then she’s going to know, obviously, that you’re doing that on purpose. But again, typically, because the way the book is set up is you’re just going to have much better experiences when you meet women in person, because people that like the same things tend to like each other.

And especially now where most people, especially the younger guys, they hide behind their cell phones, they hide behind their digital devices. And so they’re going to be a little weird. They’re going to be a little awkward. And the other thing you got to consider is most women have their height filters set to six feet and above. So if you’re not a full six feet tall, 80% of the women aren’t going to see your profile. You’ll see theirs and you’ll go, wow, there’s so many beautiful women on here, and you’re swiping, you’re liking their profile. But they don’t even know you exist because again, the height filter screened you out. But the dating app company wants to keep you on their app and spending money.

And so it’s much better to show you a bunch of profiles, even though those girls are never going to see you just because you feel like swiping, you feel like you’re doing something, you feel like you’re accomplishing something. And so you’ve got to keep in mind, the goal with the book is to try to give you the best possible chance for success, and to avoid the time wasters and the lunatics and the girls from broken homes and the chicks that get pissed off and have an attitude. We just want a nice girl loves her dad. Easy going, easy to get along with. Communicates like an adult. And most importantly, she’s nice to you. A chick that’s upset you waited 3 or 4 days and she’s a bitch.

Well, you don’t want to go out with a bitch. Life is hard enough. You want a chick that’s going to make your dick hard, not your life hard. And if a chick’s got an attitude before you even went out on your first date, she’s out. And that’s what the book is designed to do. So it really doesn’t matter. You can call her the very next day after you get her number and make a date. Or you can wait three days or you can wait a week. Doc love would say, wait nine days. If you wait nine days and the girl’s pissed off, well, you know, to avoid her if you wait nine days. And she’s really glad to hear from you and was worried you lost her number or something happened to you.

Well, that’s nice to hear, because she’s just glad that you got in touch. She doesn’t care that you waited a couple of days or waited two weeks. She’s just glad to hear from you. So, like the other thing with my English ex-girlfriend is we spent those ten days together, and then afterwards, again, I knew her for ten whole days and we were together like we were a couple forever. Again, that’s where you can get to if you really learn the book backwards and forwards. And so we spent ten days together. “A Date With Destiny”, it was a Tony Robbins event. And then I was going to be traveling for the next three weeks or so.

And I told her that when I got back and checked my work schedule, I would give her some weeks that I was available where she could come see me because she loved the United States. So it was probably two, two and a half weeks. I didn’t talk to her, didn’t text her or anything. And I got back. I sent her an email. Gave her some dates. And then I said, send me your itinerary and I’ll pick you up at the airport. And so the next morning when I got up, she had already booked her flights. There was the information there because she was a woman of her word. She was raised by a good family, absolutely loves her parents. Her parents are the coolest people ever. Really nice.

Really down to earth, solid marriage. Everybody’s nice, everybody’s kind. There’s no raising their voices. There’s no screaming at each other, just easy and effortless. She was raised right, and in the 20 years that I’ve known her, I had her on the podcast a couple years ago because people wanted to meet some of the girls that I wrote about in the book. And in the 20 years I’ve known her, she’s never been angry at me. She’s never raised her voice at me, she’s never yelled at me. She’s always been bubbly and happy and easygoing and easy to get along with.

And when you have an ex-girlfriend from 20 years ago that’s willing to come on your podcast and talk about the great experience and what it was like dating you, you’re doing something right. Because most guys don’t have that. So that’s important. But, you know, I vetted her character and she was awesome. And so we didn’t talk. We didn’t do any video dates or anything. And two weeks later, I just showed up at the airport and there she was. And so that’s what happens when you have a high level of trust and respect between one another. You know the book backwards and forwards. Things are easy and effortless. You can make a date on the spot.

You can wait a few days to see if it pisses her off, or you can call her the very next day. It’s totally up to you. The key is, like I said in the beginning, is like a lot of guys make the mistake, they get the number and they think they got a chit chat for a couple of weeks, or do a bunch of phone calls and talks and texting or social media app for a couple of weeks before they get around to asking her out. And what most guys experience is when they do that is the girl after a few days, just fades away and then just stops replying altogether. Because again, attraction is not a choice. Women know within three seconds if they like you or not. So with that in mind, I know it was a long diatribe, but it’s important.

Because somebody a couple about a month or two ago, maybe about two months ago, was asking the same thing. They got fixated on three days because they only went through the book one time. I’m like, it’s not a hard set rule, it’s a guideline. Again, the book gives you a bunch of tools. If you are concerned that she may be a bit of a nut, then you wait a few days to call her or text her and see how she reacts to it. Again, if you’re doing that with online dating and she sends you her phone number so you can call or text her and then you don’t call for a week, well, yeah, it’s going to look like you did that on purpose. It’s unnecessary and it’s a misapplication of the book. Again, that’s why I do these Video Newsletters to show how to apply what’s in the book to real world example.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

A friend of mine bought me a copy of your book about a year ago. To be honest I’ve only completely read your book one time.

And that is why you fail.

I feel like you offer a lot of great insights.

How would you know? You never took studying it seriously. So you don’t really know what’s in the book. There’s no way you could know.

However the waiting three days to initiate contact seems outdated.

Which, you know, this is a younger guy. And so the reason he’s saying that is because he’s trying to insult me because I’m older than he is. So he’s trying to insult me and belittle me and dismiss what I teach and obviously what his good friend thought highly enough of him to share my book with him.

And frankly like very bad advice.

How would you know? You didn’t bother to read the book or understand the nuances. You latched on to something that is not set in stone and acted like it was set in stone.

Is this not exactly a man’s version of being “structured”?

Again, it’s not a rule. It’s a guideline. It’s a suggestion. It’s an idea. Just like when you meet a girl and you’re wondering, especially if you’re a shy guy and you don’t want to risk getting rejected, but you’re unsure of if the girl actually likes you or not when you meet her. “Hey, what’s your name?” “Oh, my name is Susan.” “Hey, Susan, it’s nice to meet you.” Without offering your name. Now, why would you do that? Well, you’re trying to determine, does she like you or not? You’re looking for evidence. So it’s just a technique. That one I learned from the late, great Doc Love.

And so if she’s not interested in you at all, she’ll go, “Oh, yeah, it’s nice to meet you.” But if she’s interested, she’ll be like, “Well, what’s your name?” So the fact that she asked your name shows that she’s inquisitive. She doesn’t ask your name usually means she don’t give a fuck. So, in other words, you couldn’t get her to piss in your mouth if your teeth were on fire. So it’s not about being structured. It’s just one technique out of hundreds and hundreds of techniques and strategies that are in the book to give you a lot of tools for your toolbox, so you can understand how to apply what’s in the book to your specific situation.

If you’re on vacation like I was, you’re not going to take a number and get in touch with several days later or a week later because again, you’re traveling. She might be gone in a couple of days. You may only be there for a weekend. So you’ve got to act fast and again, you’ve got to adapt it. That’s why I have different scenarios. That’s why I put several different scenarios in the book, because everything is not going to be an exact carbon copy. Every time life is messy, things are going to be different.

Over the past year of exploring your work, zero women have responded to me after waiting three days.

So was that woman that you met online that gave you their number, and then you waited three days? Were these women that you met in person? I’d want to know what the context is, and how many of them was it? Because usually when a guy says something like that, I was like, well, how many women are we talking about? You’re usually like, “Oh, it was three.” It’s like, so in the past year you talked to three women and you’re ready to toss the book out the window like a Frisbee. That just shows that you’re impatient and you’re not disciplined and you don’t have a lot of self-control, which is something that you must have to create attraction in women towards you.

You may say they were not attracted to me. Might say these are insecure women.

I don’t know, you would have to tell me, like what each one did. Maybe you could write a follow up email, and you could give me several scenarios of women that you got their number. You waited three days, and they just totally ghosted you. So, you know, I had an email a guy sent me a few weeks ago. He had five different women that he met and tried to set dates with or had dates. And he kind of gives a little synopsis of each one and how it went. And it was, I think, like one out of the five really seemed to have interest and the others didn’t. It was a good email because you can see a range of responses.

There were responses that were clearly obvious that the women had low to no interest, and there were a few that had interest, and they had one that had really high interest. And you’re going to have a much better experience dating if you’re going out with women that have an attitude of, “hell, yeah, I’d love to go out with you. I’d love to spend time with you.” Versus a girl who’s like, “Eh. I don’t know, you’re not really my type. Uh, I’m not sure I’m really busy. Work’s kind of crazy right now. I don’t have a lot of time to date.” And you get shit like that. You don’t want a woman that’s sitting on a fence.

You want a woman that would jump fences to be with you. That is important. Dating a girl that has initial high interest. And if you only asked out or talk to a few women and you waited three days with them and you just said, “Well, this sucks, it doesn’t work.” And you didn’t talk to very many. You don’t have a good enough sample size. And besides, you went through the book one time and you focused on one rule, one thing, one technique. As if that was the be all, end all. So again, the fact that you zeroed in on that like that just tells me you’re lazy, you’re looking for shortcuts. You’re thinking, “I just need a quick five things to learn from you, and that’ll totally change my dating life.”

It’s like, that’s not going to work. It’s like, you don’t know what you don’t know you’re doing and saying things that turn women off and you have no idea that they’re unattractive. And it’s turning them off because, again, you didn’t take reading the book seriously like the serious students do. If you look at any of the success stories I’ve done, I just had a couple of them in the last week. Um, there was like another 3% Man success story. “How I Successfully Re-Attracted My Ex Using 3% Man Principles”. The common theme you see in those emails is that the guys read the book ten, 15, 20 times, they really took it seriously. Learning the baseline material.

I just recognized how this doesn’t make sense and responded to this most recent attempt, without response, with gratitude for her helping me to recognize particular beliefs that haven’t been serving me. And she responded by wanting to meet with me.

Well, maybe you could provide some context on that interaction as well. That’s the important thing, is that if something doesn’t work, maybe you misunderstood it, maybe you’re misapplying it. And the idea is you’ve got to see what works for you. Again, this shit’s not set in stone. It’s not a stone age manual. It’s again, a bunch of tools for your toolbox so you can pick and choose the things you need to help you and evaluate when women are really interested in you. Because one of the emails I just did for yesterday, this guy spent a year with a woman. Stuck in friend zone. He made out with her a few times. And he lent her a bunch of money. And now he’s in No Contact with her because she firmly stuck him in friend zone and he spent a year trying to get out of it.

And you don’t want to be one of those guys that wrote a big check to a girl you barely know. And then on top of that, he spent a whole weekend, blew a bunch of money taking her on a trip she made out with him. And then the very next day, she goes home and sleeps with some random guy. And she said the reason why she didn’t want to sleep with him is “because she didn’t want to ruin the friendship. He was special in her eyes.” And the reality is she just want to ruin the gravy train because she was dealing with a gullible and naive guy that had no experience. So there are women out there in society that will fucking fleece you financially and not feel bad about it. So you’ve got to educate yourself. You got to take the time.

Again, I think there are a lot of great insights that you provide for the average man.

Well, again, you don’t really know what I provide because you didn’t take the time to learn it. You went through the book once and you’ve probably been watching videos because you think you’re too smart, you’re too clever, and it doesn’t apply to you. But at the end of the day, if you’re not going to take this seriously, if you think I’m full of shit and you don’t want to read it 10 to 15 times and you want to reinvent the wheel and do it your way. Hey, man, you do you boo boo. Whatever makes you happy. But if you’re not going to take it seriously, then you should take my book and give it to somebody that will take it serious.

Because your friend thought highly enough of the work and thought highly enough of you to give you a copy of the book, but you didn’t take it seriously. Because again, the directions are spelled out in the very beginning of the book on why you should read it 10 to 15 times, but you went through it once a year ago and latched on to one thing as if it was the whole thing. And you’ve been stuck on that. You haven’t been able to get off the starting line other than you went out with this one woman. So it would be great to see, like maybe you write a little paragraph of each one, what happened, how you met them and what you did, and then what happened next.

And then I’ll make a Video Newsletter out because it’d be a good one. You’ve got to participate in your own rescue, Dude. There’s no shortcuts to success. And the guys that have the great success stories, they take the time with the book. The guys that don’t. They usually end up on the phone call on an emergency phone session with me in a panic because they half-assed it. They learn enough of the book or what was in the videos to get laid, but they never bothered with learning how to transition from casual dating into a relationship, and how to maintain a healthy relationship. And when they need those skills, they don’t know them.

And because they’re behind the eight ball and they’re emotionally all over the ice, they just make things worse. And so they’ll end up in an emergency phone call with me, which I’m happy to provide. But I would much prefer people be a good student and send me a good success story. Because my goal as a teacher of self-reliance is, I want you to get to the point where you don’t need me anymore. Because if you don’t need me and you know this stuff backwards and forwards, then you could influence everybody in your life, everybody in your world to learn this stuff. So eventually, at some point in the future, it becomes common knowledge amongst humanity.

But this is a particular nuance that you teach, that I believe is played out or outdated.

Well, again, you’re misinterpreting the book and you don’t understand the nuance because you didn’t take the time to learn it. And that’s a you problem.

I think you should consider refining this approach. Personally, I will not continue to take your work seriously until it’s recognized.

I appreciate what you’re doing.

Bob

Well, again, if you’re going to be a serious student, you got to put the time in with the book. And if you’re not, you’re just not going to be successful. And if you don’t want to put the time in again, like I’ve said twice already, you should give the book to somebody else who will take it successful. But it would be great to have you send in a list of all these different women that you supposedly talked to, and try to set dates with, and then waited three days, and you can give us a little bit more context with each one. And especially the one here that went well. If you could tell us what you did and said and how it turned out, I’ll another Video Newsletter down the road with it.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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