Ex Came Back After 3 Years Of Going From Relationship To Relationship

Some things to consider if your ex came back after bouncing from relationship to relationship.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose ex came back after 3 years. They were both virgins and each other’s first. He followed what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, and they started hooking up again. However, he’s really bothered by the fact she went from relationship to relationship and now she’s back. He was more selective in who he slept with and is unsure if she deserves another chance. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Ex Came Back After 3 Years Of Going From Relationship To Relationship”.

So typically that’s, women that grew up without a strong masculine presence in the home, or they came from a broken home, you’ll see things like that. They’ll go from being in relationship with one dude to all of a sudden weeks later in a relationship with somebody else. It’s like they replace one form of intimacy with a new one, and they never really take time to heal and get over things. It’s like they’re running from The Ghosts of Relationship Past. Or, The Ghost of Christmas Past.

So this guy’s ex came back after three years, and when they first met and dated, they were both virgins and each other’s first. And so he said they only had sex two times before they broke up. And so some time passed. He followed what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, and then they started hooking up again. However, he’s really bothered by the fact that she seemed to go from relationship to relationship, and now she’s back.

In other words, he was way more selective in who he slept with because unless he really connected with somebody, he wasn’t down to hook up. But he kind of looks at what she did and he’s not too happy with it. And so it kind of makes his stomach turn.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

Hope you’re doing well. My ex and I broke up three years ago after being together for a year and a half. The relationship was toxic at times, as we were cold and hot on multiple occasions.

Well, if you were acting consistently masculine, you’re going to get hot and cold behavior from your woman. But if you’re acting in accordance with what’s in the book and you’re dating a chick that comes from a broken home, you’re going to get a lot of bad behavior because it’s going to bring out the worst and the worst and the best and the best. And it’s not it’s not your job to fix somebody or to save them, or to be captain Save-A-Hoe or Mr. White Knight and make up for the fact that they didn’t get that tricycle that they wanted when they were five years old or whatever it happens to be. You’ve got to see reality as it is.

If you’re going to be in a long term relationship, especially if you want kids, you want somebody who’s raised right, raised in a good family. She’s got to be a girl that loves her Dad, respects her Dad because that just forms a baseline foundation. Because without that masculinity that centered masculinity growing up, the woman grows up, doesn’t know which men are trustworthy and which ones are not.

They often will, even when they’re in a relationship, they’ll act like they’re a free agent. Meaning they give out their Social Media, they give out their phone numbers, even if they supposedly have a boyfriend or live with somebody, and then they just create the conditions where outside men are basically given the green light to try to seduce them. So let’s get back to his email here.

She was the one that initiated the breakup in the end. It is worth noting that I was her first relationship, we were both virgins, and we only had sex two times in the end of our relationship before she broke up with me. In these three years I’ve read the book 12 times and mastered my communication skills.

So he’s completely leveled up. He’s a different dude because now he knows what’s in the book.

I’ve dated multiple women without having sex with most of them as I’m not a fan of casual sex, if there’s no communication and feelings at all.

You do you boo boo. My job as a Coach is to help you get what you want. Your job is to decide whether or not you want it or you want to keep it. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? Unless you got a really special cow and you want to keep that milk to yourself and you know the cow is not going to stray because the cow was raised properly.

My ex called me after three years of No Contact out of nowhere a few weeks ago, without instantly showing interest for a date.

Well, as the book says, you assume if she’s reaching out, she probably wants to see you. And most of the time, that’s what women do. They they’ll reach out and see how you’re doing, but they’re not going to ask you out. Because number one, it’s not really their job to do that. And also they’re often worried about getting rejected. So they figure if you still like them and you reach out, you’ll make an opportunity for sex to happen.

I applied your rules and in two days she agreed to come to my house for dinner, leading to Indoor Olympics. The problem is that in these three years she was jumping from relationship to relationship, as she grew up without a father, which has a known impact on her dating life as you have mentioned in so many videos.

Well, character is destiny. It’s like, granted, it seems like you didn’t know my work back then, but it really you got to evaluate this woman for her character. Because sometimes women will get a therapist or they’ll do a lot of self-help, or they’ll just have a good attitude of what they’ve been through, and they decide they don’t want to be anything like the family they came from. Those are the rare cases, but they do happen. And that’s why you’ve got to evaluate all people, not just the women you date, but the people you hang out with, the people you especially if you’re going to go into business with somebody, you’ve got to evaluate them for their character.

Do they have a sense of honor? Are they going to do the right thing? Do they honor their word or not? Somebody’s either trustworthy and honest or they’re not. If the truth is always fungible. And based on circumstances, you can bend the truth. Well, Then they’ll always find a reason to bend the truth to where it suits them, and often they act out of integrity.

We are having fun and hooking up every few days, but she wants something more than this. She is asking for a relationship. It seems that she regretted her past in the meantime but imagining her being with so many guys in these three years without having self-respect, makes my stomach tight.

Well, this is your girl, dude. You’re the one that chose her. You’re the one that decided to get back in bed with her. And again, I would just evaluate her character instead of making assumptions. I mean, it sounds like she’s very forthcoming. But if you feel like she slept with a lot of dudes or gave herself away to guys that didn’t deserve her, it’s like, well, that’s just kind of common. The question is, how much? How bad was it? Is this somebody that that kept her word? Is she trustworthy? You did say it was toxic at times, but you didn’t really elaborate on what that meant. Maybe you guys didn’t get along because you didn’t know the book back then. But again, is she a good person or is she not? Is she a woman of high character and keeps her word, or is she not? Is she loyal and trustworthy or is she not? Does she have good judgment or not?

I don’t know if this feeling can go away. I really care for her as a person and want her to be happy, but character destiny makes me think that it won’t lead to a great ending. I want your view as well. 

Thank you very much for all the hard work you put on making great content and helping people change for the better. 

Well, again, you know her. You’re the one spending time with her. So you’ve got to evaluate her character. And if you want my input one on one, if you want to really go into detail and drill down on it, I’d suggest you book a phone session by going to the website UnderstandingRelationships.com and just click the coaching tab and sign up for a phone session. Or just keep applying the book. Keep dating other people and may the best girl win. But at the end of the day, now you’ve got an awareness. Now you know the book.

You’ve been through it a lot of times and you’re much more experienced. So you’ve got to see how you feel about it. And most importantly, you’ve got to evaluate her based upon her actions, not what she says, only what she does is what matters and what will determine whether or not you should keep seeing her. But if she’s wanting to be exclusive and you’re not there yet. Well just tell her, just say, “Hey, you know, I haven’t seen you in three years. You know, things weren’t, you know, were difficult at times with this in the past.

And we’ve only been hanging out for a few weeks, and so I just need some time, you know, I just want to see if our goals and values aligned or not. And right now, I don’t know. I just, you know, let’s just date and have a good time and see what happens. But I’m not ready for a commitment yet. And I didn’t hear a peep out of you in three years. And we’ve hung out a handful of times, and now you want to go right back into a relationship. So you’ve just got to be patient with me because I was willing to work things out in the past, and you weren’t.” So that’s on her.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

If you haven’t already signed up for our Exclusive Premium Members Only Content in the video description of this video, there are links to join on YouTube or you can join on Spotify or our Website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab when you get there, and you can do a seven day free trial to check out what content you get for your money. And if you choose an annual plan, you can get a 25% discount at the end of the seven day free trial. So go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the “plans” tab. Sign up for a seven day free trial today. And until next time, I will talk to you soon.