How to deal with people who are arrogant, ignorant, condescending and full of false pride, who seek to belittle you, your success and tear you down in an effort to make themselves feel better about their shitty lives.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is twenty-three and has had a total of two relationships in his short life. He starts out by complimenting me on what he has learned from reading my book, but then goes on a rant that reeks of false pride, arrogance, ignorance and condescension, as he tries to belittle me, my work and my methods that have helped tens of thousands of men and women all over the world to improve the quality of their lives and personal relationships.
This is a prime example of the type of self-hating and self-loathing kind of people who go through life tearing other people down, in order to build themselves up and make themselves feel better, even though inside they feel like a giant pile of steaming dog-dung. I discuss why you must tune these kinds of people out and can’t let them discourage or influence the pursuit of your grandest goals and dreams. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
So I have been in a hugely successful relationship for three years, but out of curiosity and hearsay, I decided to read your book. (People don’t come to me because everything is wonderful in their life. They come to me because something is off track.) You do come across with some very good points about how to be masculine and not act like a bitch. However, the common pattern I am seeing with you is that you are painting every single girl on earth in exactly the same light. (That is absolutely not true. Obviously, there were some things you read in my book that made you feel uncomfortable. If you were really happy and your life was great, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.) The women you seemed to date in the past come across as self-centered drama queens. (You grow the most from situations where you struggle. When you’re older you will understand that. Pride cometh before the fall. Life will humble the shit out of you.) My girlfriend wouldn’t throw her toys out of the pram or hint to me that her attraction levels are dropping purely because I haven’t acted perfectly for a few weeks or months. (You’re delusional if you think a woman is going to put up with you not behaving properly for several months and not call you out on your bullshit.) What you are saying in your book is that, in order for you to keep your woman happy, you must be a perfect specimen and robotic. (That is absolutely not true. What I teach is a way to get to the place where you are your authentic self.) Don’t act like a human.
I studied economics and psychology at university and now work for a hedge fund thus, I deal with lots of psychological issues in the world of trading. (I coach a lot of psychologists and therapists, and a lot of them tell me they go into it because they are really fucked up and trying to help themselves.) No offense, but you come across as an over analyzing nut. (When you get older and look back, you’ll see how the dots line up. My ability to take things apart is what helped me become a coach so I can look at problems, diagnose them and give feedback for corrective action.) Relationships are meant to be fun and not this constant battle and hard work, (Yes, they’re supposed to be easy and effortless. My life is a drama-free zone and I live the things that I teach), like you write in your book. (You’re trying to throw a label on me and discredit me in order to make yourself feel better about your life.) My two relationships in life have been much easier than the battles you seem to have had with women. (You’re ahead of where I was when I was young. I am grateful for my struggles so I can help people in a useful way.) My first girlfriend and I got together when I was 16. We broke up when we were both 20 on good terms. Since then, I’ve been in a fantastic relationship with my current girlfriend. We are both 23. She is sweet, loving, pretty, confident, and never gives me unnecessary shit over little details. She realizes I’m human and not perfect, and I do her. (That’s the way it’s supposed to be. You don’t sound like a guy who understands where I was coming from. You don’t have the clients I have, so I don’t expect you to understand what I do for a living. If you’re such a genius, where’s your book?) I just don’t understand why you analyze women in such vivid detail like this. It’s utterly bizarre. (The whole point of what I teach is to help people get what they want. You’re arrogant, condescending and full of false pride, and soon enough, the universe is going to come along and serve you a large helping of humble pie. When that happens, I’d like you to think of me.)
“People who are happy, abundant and loving only have encouraging and kind words for everyone, even those who are struggling or not as successful as they are. They build people up and sincerely rejoice in the success of other people. Miserable people, who hate themselves and their lives, go through life looking for opportunities to tear other people down and belittle them in an effort to ease their own suffering and feel better about their shitty lives. The next time you encounter another human turd in the punchbowl, just remember that no one will ever do or say anything that is not a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. Don’t take it personally, because it’s not you, it’s them.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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