Feminine Energy Is Chaos. Indifference Makes You Irresistible.

Why feminine energy is chaos, but indifference is your attraction superpower and makes you irresistible.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update to the viewer whose email I answered in my previous newsletter, “I Chased Her Away, But Now She’s Slowly Coming Back.” He didn’t care about his baby momma until she left him. Then he chased her out of his life and has been cherry picking the book and videos looking for shortcut copy and paste solutions instead of getting to know 3% Man, so well he could teach a class on it.

He’s noticing that when he gets busy and focused on taking care of himself and his purpose in life, she tends to be much more flirty and excited to see him. However, he still is not learning the book and doesn’t even recognize when to move forward and when to back off. He admits he’s been lying to himself and being lazy and avoiding learning the book, yet he continues being lazy. It’s been a month since his last email, and yet what has he done to help himself? Not much. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be Feminine Energy Is Chaos. Indifference Makes You Irresistible.

Well, I’ve got an email this is, the second one in the series that I have answered for this particular guy. The last one was about a month ago and it was titled “I Chased Her Away, But Now She’s Slowly Coming Back.” So, this particular guy had broken up with her. Actually, he really didn’t seem to care too much about his baby mama until she broke things off with him. And then he went into over pursuit mode, and literally chased her right out of his life. It’s like he just didn’t really care until she left, because rejection breeds obsession. So, this is a typical experience of most guys is they don’t care until the woman walks away. And so, she did. And his problem is he’s never really listened and really tried to understand The Book and learn it backwards and forwards.

Like most guys, he’s kind of lazy, he was trying to half-ass it, even admits it in his email, because I called him out in the last video for not knowing The Book. And so, there’s some obvious signs that she’s giving, signs of attraction and her interest going up. But when it happens, he’s like, “how do I keep it there? What do I do?” And so, when I see questions like that, I can tell he doesn’t know the book.

And so, a month ago, I was breaking his balls about not knowing The Book. And here he is a month later admitting that he was lying to me and lying to himself about his lack of really taking the time to get to know The Book well enough. Because this situation is a pretty easy one to remedy, if he would take the time to learn the material, and just apply it. And so, what’s happening, he’s just kind of flying by the seat of his pants and he’s trying to copy and paste stuff from videos, things he may have remembered from The Book. I think he went through it three times total. And all the time that he’s been following me, but I can’t really tell because he wrote something here about The Book. I don’t know if that means he went through it, but because the sentence that he wrote doesn’t really make much sense.

But when I look at his actions, it’s like we’re now 30 days past the last time he sent an email, and it doesn’t really look like he’s gotten serious about really filling in his knowledge gap. And for those of you that are avid fans and you’ve read The Book 10 to 15 times; you get great success and you like watching the video newsletters to fine tune your skills. And you probably like myself, you’ve had lots of guys you’ve known since you’ve been studying my work, that you’re teaching this stuff to, or you’re encouraging them to read The Book and they just never do. And you watch them flail and yet they keep doing it. Or maybe they do get The Book, but they kind of half ass it and thumb through it and you just kind of you shake your head and it’s like, man, most people, major and minor things, it’s like never care more about somebody else’s life and their success than they do.

And, you know, as a coach, when you care for other people, especially if they’re close to you and you want to help them, but they’re just not open to it; you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. Most people tend to make life way harder on themselves than it needs to be, just like this guy it’s still a month later, he’s still doing it. He’s still making it way harder on himself than it needs to be. And if you think about all the time that he’s probably spent over the last 30 days agonizing over his situation and dealing with the negative emotions that comes with it being in a state of fear versus if he had just taken that time and focused on listening to the book at two speed and following along in a digital or physical copy, you can get through The Book in about four hours.

He’s just not been willing to do it. And yet here he is a month later and he’s still struggling for kind of the same reasons. So, with that said, let’s go through his email because you’ll notice here is that he does back off because he, you know, as he admits in his previous emails, is like once he got rejected, he became obsessed with her and he started chasing her, acting needy over pursuing. And then this just turned her off more and caused her to push him away even more. And then he finally backed off enough. She starts to come forward and he’s like, “Ah, I don’t know what to do. Where’s the copy and paste solution to this?”

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

You recently addressed my question about my baby mum in your teachings. You made it clear if it wasn’t ready to read the book a few more times and straight away reading it again I have instantly noticed I was lying to you and myself.

Because remember people are going to act consistently with how they view themselves to be. It doesn’t matter whether the view is accurate or not. And if we all tend to bullshit ourselves and when there’s work that needs to be done and we don’t really feel like doing it, like in this case, reading the book, taking the time to go through these things, you’ll make up a story and go, “Oh yeah, I know it well enough. Oh yeah, I watched enough videos. I’ll be fine. I’m smarter than most people. I’m not like those regular guys that watch Corey’s channel. I don’t need to do what he says.” And yet you can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.

It hit me like a bullet that I wasn’t being consistent with my behavior, and I was picking the very best cherries I could find.

So, part of his problem, which most guys in this situation have, is really an attraction problem. And so, if you’re vacillating back and forth between being in your masculine and being a leader, taking charge and leading the relationship and being the man, you’re going to be attractive. But if you vacillate back and forth between that, and then being soft, and acting like a doormat, like letting her walk all over you and push you around, and she loses respect for you in the process. You don’t stand up for yourself. You start acting like a beta male. You start acting indecisive at times.

It’s some days you’re acting like a man, and she’s attracted to you, and other days you’re acting like a little girl, and it totally turns her off. And so, the key is, as a coach, my goal is to get the people that I’m coaching or in this case, the ones that are watching or listening, to apply the fundamentals properly in their life. Because if they’re having problems with a particular girl, it will put them in a position where they’re the most attractive man they can be, and that will solve most problems. Regardless of whether there’s character issues or the chick’s a Froot Loop or whatever, the guys need to be the most attractive men that they can be to either attract the ex that they want or the woman they screwed up with that friend zoning them or whatever.

And to be open to attracting somebody new and better who’s easygoing, easy to get along with doesn’t create any drama. Who has got a good attitude, fun to be around. That kind of thing. So, you make yourself attractive to all the women in your life and you’re going to have much easier interactions with them, and you’re going to be able to attract them much easier and more effortlessly, and plus, it’s going to feel more natural to you.

When you’re behaving the way this guy does, it’s like one minute he’s full of fear, one minute he thinks things have turned a corner, and that’s just no way to live and go through life. It’s hard to be the best that you can be and reach your full potential as a man, when the back of your mind you’re constantly worried about what’s going to happen with your girl in this case, what’s going to happen with his baby mama.

Because if you can’t focus on your mission and purpose because you’re worried about what’s going on at home, it’s going to affect your income earning potential. It’s going to affect your ability to get a promotion at work. It’s going to affect your ability to convince an investor to invest in your startup or your company and help take it to the next level or convince that superstar employee to leave where they are and come work with you and your team.

And on top of that, it’s going to be a lot harder to attract the kind of women that already are attracted to you. But because you’re behaving in such unattractive ways, it turns their stomach, and something feels off with you and they’re going to be repulsed.

Me thinking not reaching out was the silver bullet, I see simply doing that and spending an evening over pursuing in person and occasionally being rewarded with sex as opposed to seducing her is well against what you teach. 

He’s just thinking that “okay, I won’t call or text her anymore and that’ll just solve all my problems.” Again, let me look at like one little facet or technique or strategy, not really understand the strategy or why you do it, and that’ll just solve all my problems.

Because again, he’s looking for, as he says, a silver bullet, the copy and paste the magic pickup line. That just makes it easy, you can spend five minutes figuring it out and boom. Yeah, who wants to spend four hours reading a book or watching a 20-minute video, when all you need is like a ~1 or 2-minute solution? But if you don’t understand the philosophy, you’ll keep making the same mistakes.

And so, like this guy says, he backs off, she starts to reach out, but then he gets together in person, he’s over pursuing. He’s probably hovering like when he’s doing exchanges of the kids and things of that nature. He kind of lingers a little too long, and he’s focused on everything she’s doing and saying, and trying to come up with reasons to stick around longer than he should. And she could feel the vibe that he’s there to get her attention, and validation instead of the opposite, where if he’s focused on his mission and purpose, he’s going to be fun, he’s going to be playful.

If she seems excited that she wants him there, and she’s very flirtatious, he’s going to flirt back and tease back and be playful. But if she’s a little cold and distant and all businesslike, he’s going to be completely indifferent to that and give it right back to her. Again, that’s why indifference is the attraction superpower. It’s like, if she’s happy and she’s in a good mood, you’re happy and a good mood. If she’s unhappy and grumpy and not in a good mood, you’re determined to stay in a good mood and to stay playful. And if she continues to be in a foul mood, especially if she starts being abusive or berating you or whatever, then you just simply leave.

You be indifferent to that. You’re not going to participate in her negative emotions. It’s like feminine energy is like chaos. If you think of femininity, it’s a lot like Mother Nature. So, it’s not very productive to get mad when the weather sucks because you were hoping for a sunny day. And it’s the same thing if your girl or a girl or a woman doesn’t react to you the way that you would hope or that you would want. Doesn’t mean it should ruin your day or put you in a truly foul mood. It just means you remove yourself from the situation and you still have an attitude of amusement and bewilderment.

You’re looking for ways and reasons to be enchanted, and be amused about everything, including when your girl is not treating you the way you want her to treat you, just let her be. You’re unperturbed, because you’ve decided ahead of time that you’re going to be happy, if she’s chosen to be in a bad mood. Well, that’s her, that’s on her. You’re not going to participate in that. And if it ever gets to the point where she’s trying to impose that on you or she berates you, or she becomes abusive towards you or just negative and not fun to be around, then you’ll just simply go and do something else where there’s more fun and people are easy going, easy to get along with.

I’ve been barking right up the wrong tree and only reading the book again let me see that. 

Okay, so he did go through The Book one more time. And so, the light bulbs are going off, but he’s in the middle of trying to re-attract his baby mama. And so, just reading it one time is not going to help. Remember, he’s driven by fear. And what he needs to do is quickly as possible is to fill in his knowledge gap so he stops vacillating. Because part of the problem is when you’re trying to unlearn what you have learned, when you’ve displayed all these unattractive behaviors, you’ve got to recognize what’s unattractive behavior in the first place.

And if you’re just cherry picking in The Book, some days you’re displaying attractive behavior and she’s going to respond positively, and other days you’re going to be doing and saying things and giving off a vibe of just an unattractive man. And whereas, maybe the last time you saw her, she seemed to be really excited to see you. If you’re displaying all these attractive signs and now, you’re turning her off. It’s understandable why a guy looked at her and go, “Well, shit, the last time I was there she was really excited to see me. This time, it’s almost like I’m repulsive to her.”

And so, first you’ve got to fill in your knowledge gap and you’ve got to figure out what the hell it is that you’re not even doing properly. And you’ve got to cut out all the unattractive behavior, because that’s you shooting yourself in the foot if you’re constantly displaying things that are taught in The Book. But since you didn’t take the time to learn The Book, you continue displaying them because this whole thing is he’s trying to re-attract her. And so, if you’re vacillating back and forth between masculine and feminine energy; she’s into you, then she’s turned off, she’s into you, then she’s turned off.

And the idea is you want her to be into you and to pursue you and to get frustrated at how slow you’re going with the courtship. So, she tries to speed it up. But most guys in this position are doing the opposite. They’re trying to speed things up. They’re trying to speed up her, becoming re attracted to them instead of letting her come to them at their own pace.

My question is now what the hell do I do? Who would turn down an evening with their butler who fills her with compliments and food but nothing else unless I just happen to catch her in the mood. 

Well, the idea is, is indifference, and like I talk about in The Book, it’s just like taking measured steps. Like one day a week when you’re dating under normal circumstances, you’re trying to go slower than she is. And that’s why when you’re away from her, you should be focused on your mission, and your purpose, and you should be focused on applying what’s in The Book.

And so, when you do encounter women in your daily lives that you can be doing and saying things that are going to make them feel attracted to you, because if you have other women in your life that are giving you attention, and are making you feel good and make you feel attractive, then when you show up to pick up your kids or whatever, and your wife or your ex-girlfriend in this case is a little cranky, and not in such a good mood, you’re going to be, and remain, in a good mood just because maybe you had a really cool interaction with a girl you met at lunch, or a female coworker, or just some chick you happen to chat with as you’re walking down the street.

It’s much easier when you have other choices and other options to do the right things, versus if you’ve got nothing else going on in your life, then you’re going to be obsessed and focused on her. Which is you trying to get her attention and validation. And that’s feminine energy. Feminine energy is designed to do that. Remember, women spend all that time on their hair, their nails, their makeup, trying 20 different dresses on, 15 pairs of shoes on before they go out, because they’re focused on getting a man’s attention. And when a man acts that way, he’s in essence acting like a chick. He’s acting like feminine energy, and that’s going to repulse feminine energy. Feminine energy is drawn to strongly masculine energy.

I’ve been focusing too much on lowering the requirements to the good stuff instead of increasing my value. Recently I was busy again, after rereading my motivation was at an all-time low. 

Well, if you’re not excited about your life, it’s going to be pretty hard to get your girl excited about it. That’s why it’s so super important that you get to a happy place. And that way when you are interacting and handing the kids off and stuff in person, you’re in a good mood already. You’re feeling good. Because whatever you make a girl feel when you’re with her is what she’s going to associate with being with you.

So, notice he’s talking about how getting refocused on the fact that his motivation is at an all-time low and he recognizes that. And so, when you recognize it, then you can do something about it. But if you’re not aware of it because you didn’t take the time to learn the book, then yeah, you’re showing up with low energy, a low vibe, and it’s going to turn her off. But in this case, you just being aware of it and having self-awareness of that. He shows up, he’s got other things on his mind.

Maybe it’s been several days since he talked to her, because normally he’s been texting her, and messaging her, and sending her memes and stuff. But, because he’s been so busy the last week focused on himself and getting to a happy place and working on himself, he has given her that attention and she’s wondering, “where is he? What’s he doing? I haven’t heard from him as much this week. Did he meet somebody else? Is he mad at me? Does he not like me anymore? Is he ready to move on? Does he not care?” And then you show up and look what happens.

Then out of nowhere I show up to get the kids, she’s laughing at everything, flirting and making innuendo without any effort from myself, almost completely by surprise. 

And so, what’s happening? Your indifference and not giving her attention has caused her, you giving her the space and the time. Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. And when you’re focused on yourself and taking care of the things you need to be taking care of, and not obsessing over her like an insecure little girl, you notice it has a positive effect on her attraction. And so, she’s making innuendo. Then maybe you do something about that.

The idea is that the indifference creates the conditions where she tries to get your attention. And if she’s trying to get your attention, she’s trying to chase you. That’s when you start to slowly reciprocate and give her more of your attention. And so, if you’re hanging out to get the kids and she’s making innuendo and stuff, then do something about that. If she’s suggesting that you guys get together and do something or she’s making sexual innuendo, then make a date, create an opportunity for sex to happen. That’s what your job is in the courtship, after all.

And so, if she’s throwing innuendo out there when she hadn’t in a while, then that tells me that you’ve been doing enough things, at least in the past week or so, that’s caused her attraction to go back up. Now she’s trying to get your attention so slowly reciprocate and give it to her and create an opportunity for sex to happen. It doesn’t have to be some big expensive date or whatever. It’s what’s the quickest way to get to the Promised Land? Maybe if you’re picking up the kids, say, “Why don’t you get ready and come over to my place, and after we get the kids together, we’ll make dinner and have a glass of wine or whatever and hang out.” Something simple as that. Hang out. Have fun. Hook up.

The reason I tell you this is because I feel the next time, I set a date when she reaches out it will destroy all attraction and curiosity.

Well, the key is, is that being indifferent and focused on yourself worked. She’s ripe. And what did you do? Nothing. You’re like, “okay, well, I’m going to. I’m going to beat the robot. I will ask her on a date the next time because she seems to like me right now.” So, she’s receptive to you and your advances and she’s trying to get you to do something about that. So, make a date on the spot. Create an opportunity for sex to happen as quickly as possible, where it’s convenient for both of you. Like I said, it’s like if you’re picking up the kids to take them to your place, it’s like, “why don’t you grab a bottle of wine, come on over, bring some chicken, and, you know, maybe we’ll make dinner together for the kids or whatever. And after we put them to bed, we’ll crack open a, you know, we can hang out and have a drink or watch a movie or something or catch up or play cards. Play Uno, play Monopoly, play naked Twister, whatever.” Figure it out.

And so, the fact that he’s waiting, he’s again, he’s trying to be I’m going to be a robot and I must wait till the next time. If she’s ripe now, it’s like there’s a ripe fruit, like a ripe apple and an apple tree, and you’re like, no, I’m going to wait. I’m going to come back in a couple of weeks and eat it. Then you come back in a couple of weeks and the apples kind of rotten. It was ready then, but you weren’t.

So, you got to strike while the iron is hot. That’s part of being a man. That’s part of understanding what’s in the book and recognizing when she’s ripe, just like recognizing when she’s ready to be seduced. You seduce her instead of trying to seduce her when you’re ready to. And even though none of the signs are there that she wants to be touched or anything to do with you.

It’s astonishing how easy it was when I went the other day, but I don’t know how to maintain that.

You don’t maintain this; has nothing to do with you maintaining that. It has everything to do with you acting like a man because you were acting like a man consistently is what did that. You got focused on your mission, your purpose. You weren’t hovering all over her. Your mind was elsewhere. She could feel that. She could feel the indifference.

And so, what happened? It caused her to be attracted to you because you were a man who was focused on his purpose and mission in life. That’s masculine energy. That’s what feminine energy needs from the masculine. And you were embodying that. That’s why she was attracted. But you would know that if you read the book 10 to 15 times.

I get the feeling I’ve over pursued to a ridiculous degree to the point where I feel like giving up. 

You got to know the book because when the signs are there, when she’s playing with her hair and she’s touching your arm and she’s standing too close or she’s bumping into you, you slowly reciprocate affection. And you continue to move forward until and get closer and closer to her until you end up inside of her. Two steps forward, one step back. If the signs aren’t there, if she’s kind of cold and not real flirty, go do something else.

Don’t be perturbed. Either way, be a man that’s okay with having sex or not. That’s a superpower. Most guys are so desperate for sex and the women could sense that and feel that they never get to a place where women are the ones wanting more sex than the guy. And that’s the best place to be. It makes it really easy. You never get rejected.

It’s crazy how her mood the other day was everything anyone could hope for, and it was so easy but when I set the dates, I just get a standard underwhelmed response.

Well, that’s why you make the date when she’s excited. You don’t wait. Don’t be a robot.

Thanks so much for making a video newsletter of my last response and thanks in advance for teaching me and many others the lessons to fix this stuff next time or simply not get to this point anyway. 

Bob

Well, again, you’re still struggling because it looks like in 30 days you went through the book once, which that’s nice, but you’re trying to save your relationship and keep your family together. Don’t you think you should be taking this a little more seriously when it only takes four hours to get through an audio book on two speed and you found four hours in the month to go through it once, you could have found more time if you wanted to, if it was a priority. You would have done it.

So, it’s like you’ve made progress, but you’ve got to do better, because signs are obvious that you’re supposed to seduce her and then you just like start spinning in a circle like a dog chasing its tail, and then you didn’t do anything.

So that’s on you. I mean, the book gets you to the point where you can recognize the signs, but you got to know when to pull the trigger because the signs are there. In this case, the signs are there. And you were like all in your head going, “Oh, I know that’s a good sign, but I don’t know what page in the book fixes that. Uh, let me go back home and copy and paste.” It’s like, Come on, man, You got to do better, dude.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.