Many years ago I was flipping through a short book of life and success quotes that said, “Choose very carefully the person you intend to spend your life with, because 95% of your happiness or your misery will come from that one decision.” That is some really great advice. If you are a man who is single and looking to meet the perfect woman, your list of qualities of what you think the perfect woman will have, should include more than just, “she’s hot!”
Men are visual creatures. I know when I was younger and unsuccessful with women, that anytime I looked into a beautiful woman’s eyes and felt a connection, something internally inside me would always say, “she’s the one!” For many years, I blew every chance I had with a beautiful woman. Once I became successful at meeting and dating the type of women I had always wanted, I realized that a lot of beautiful women are dishonest and emotionally fucked up in many ways. My perception of beautiful women when I was younger was that they were all perfect. However, once I actually started meeting and dating lots of beautiful women, I realized the really good ones did not come along very often. Over the years, I have dated or encountered many beautiful, but devious, dishonest and disloyal women. It can be emotionally brutal to a man’s heart when he finds himself in love with a dishonest, devious and disloyal woman. In this article I’m going to discuss how to overcome getting dumped by a lying and cheating girlfriend so you can attract a gorgeous and loyal replacement!
Yesterday I was talking to a new phone coaching client. He had a heartbreaking story to tell. He dated this woman for about three years. They were engaged to be married this past spring. A few months before the wedding he felt that something was up because she wasn’t as present with him as she normally was. She seemed cold and distant. He started to feel and sense that she may be cheating on him. He talked to her about his feelings and why certain things she was doing and feeling are causing him to feel as if she was cheating on him. She got mad and pissed off that he would accuse her of being unfaithful. He let it go even though he felt something was not right.
A few weeks later when there were too many inconsistencies in her behavior and her stories of where she was, he confronted her again with his suspicions. Once again she got mad and upset with him. He asked her if he could look through her Facebook and her e-mails to be sure. She said yes and that she had nothing to hide. First he goes through her Facebook and finds nothing. Then he starts to go through her e-mail. He finds several e-mails between her and a coworker. This male coworker was talking in his e-mail explicitly about how he was going to fuck her the next time they saw each other.
He confronts his girlfriend about the e-mails and asks her how she could lie to him about the e-mails? He asked her what she thought would happen when he looked through the e-mails? She sheepishly said, “I thought I deleted them all.” He totally busted her. Not only that, but some of the e-mails detailed how she would hide it from my client. My client breaks it off and moves out.
A few days go by and she starts begging him to come back. Eventually he relents and takes her back. Current events form future trends. That is an important statement to remember. Needless to say, she did not change. She continued to lie and be devious. He left her several times, but always went back once she begged him. Then a few months ago after he took her back, she broke up with him. He recently found out about my work and just finished reading my book for the first time. This e-mail was written before our phone coaching session yesterday. He wants to attract a good woman who is honest and loyal. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Hello, I am emailing you to inquire about a phone coaching session with you. I enjoy reading your articles and have downloaded your book as well and continue to find insights into my most recent relationship and its progression to it ending in Sept. Even before reading your book and finding your website and everything you write about, apparently I did the things with my ex that you mention without even knowing it. I knew from the get go she had full interest in me, hell she pursued me and was all about me. I played it different with her and kept her interest level high. Well at least until she cheated I guess, I am sure before then it had dropped but that is below. I had a beautiful goddess. We just clicked, we were playful (love is playful and fun, not serious), we were funny with each other and we just complimented each other in many ways. We were engaged and were going to to be married this past May.
My story: We dated for 3 years before I proposed and then she cheated on me. April ’11, had a feeling something was going on with a guy from work. Found out through email she had sex with this guy twice before I found out and the truth came forward. I walked away and not long enough and after she begged for me to come back, that she would make it right. I returned and everything was to shit of course. She saw a counselor once and really looking back now she didn’t really try and make things right (she had low interest at that point). She tried fixing it by buying her way back into the relationship with trips and materials. She hated the issue being brought up to discuss. In fact she continued in some capacity talking to this guy and I assume exchanging sexual type conversation and or emails since afterwards he still pursued her with how hot she was, how this and that and how he wanted to stick his Johnson there and grab her ass so forth and so on. This of course turned her on and she felt she had this “pop” with him that her and I had lost or perhaps never had according to her and her counselor. She told me the night we ended that she couldn’t have the one without the other in a relationship. We had the companionship but had lost the “pop” that apparently this guy provided.
So after trying through the summer to work through it she came home one day in Aug. and told me she went to lunch with him but because workers were going to be there and he just offered for her to come with her since he was going there. I knew what he was doing all along even after she told him we were trying to work it out, he hung back waiting for the right time while throwing in his comments to her. They originally sexed it up when they went to lunch and his ex-wife was out of town with their two little girls. The guy wasn’t divorced yet but was in the process of getting a divorce when they did it. He stuck it to her at their house all the while coming back home pretending nothing had happened and talking to me. So after this I tell her no more that she just continues to shit on me and shit on me that I was moving out for good that I wasn’t having it anymore. She in turn got sad but said it was for the best that she needed the time, well the only time she needed was to yank me around for about a month before SHE ended it.
Now I will admit I was a mess during this time and I did show up at her house and we talked and all. Bad I know. However, like a cat, she came around when she wanted leaving me a note at my apartment telling me everything would work out blah blah blah. That she loved me, more blah. Then she wasn’t even man enough to end it face to face (Women would rather avoid a confrontation and not hurt your feelings to your face. Plus she’s a liar. Liars don’t like to be caught in their lies.). I went over and she cried and she ended it telling me what i mentioned before about the “pop” (Her interest and level of attraction to you was low because you lowered it by not doing what made you successful with her to start with.) never really saying anything about how she cheated and I am a cheater you deserve better. No, it was more of a I need this “pop” and it seems we are not attuned. (Translation: I no longer am attracted to you because you lowered my interest level in you.) She deflected everything as being my fault. (Liars don’t like being called to account for their sins.)
During the time of the yanking she started seeing her counselor again. So we ended, her claiming she didn’t want this guy from work and that maybe she needed to be independent again and spend time with her girls. She has to older girls 5th and 4th. Later come to find out through pictures on Facebook where she was tagged by her friend, that she had invited the guy to a Halloween party of her friends that we used to go every year as well and there was all I needed to see. She played it like a child and deleted me and any friends that we had in common that day when I had returned to facebook. (She did you a favor) Had been deactivated during that time because I didn’t want to see her updates etc.. When I reactivated my account and came back the missing link for her was that a) I would come back as her friend and see her page and b) she apparently forgot we had mutual friends that would possible have told me about that guy in the pictures with her. Those pictures were all I needed to see that she was a straight liar and cheat and had no care for others feelings. (yep)
So yeah Corey, turned out to be a little long with things that I am sure I left out. I apologize. However, I have found confidence in reading your book, seeing a counselor myself since the ordeal and have been meeting and talking to women like its nobody’s business. (Good job! Repetition is the mother of skill.) I continue to practice my skills and ability to just approach women and talk and gauge interest regardless of age and or looks. Its a good feeling to just be able to smile and talk to women. I continue to improve in this area and find I can make just about any woman laugh whether they think I am funny or not. I am asking from you how to move on from my past relationship of 4 years all the while seeking one who is worthy of me and respects me. (Make a list of the qualities you want in a woman. See page 61 in my book.)
I will not lie Corey, I am not over my ex and I continue to see her girls at my workplace, school M-Fri. because it is where we met. I have not seen her since mid Oct. but I know I will run into her at work when she comes for her girls. I will be working in our afterschool program in January where she comes to get the girls. I have thought about this and what I would do and or say when this does happen. (Act like nothing has happened and you are happy. Why? You’re getting your brains fucked out by honest women now.) Currently its anger, but also doing everything I can to show her I am fine and I am looking damn good and am moving on from her. (Smart) Not only that but she has her best girlfriend who also has her two girls there. I see her more often and we talk and are friendly to each other, she smiles and waves at me when we see each other. I am thinking being a relay messenger to my ex or perhaps nothing, but I make sure to show her and tell her I am doing fine when she asks me how I am doing. (Her friend probably wants to fuck you. Use what I teach in my book to determine if that’s the case. If it is… PLAY BALL!!!!) I continue to be playful and funny with her as well. (BE THAT WAY WITH ALL WOMEN… ALWAYS!!! Love is playful and fun, not serious.) Today a compliment came from her in how she liked my hair and I looked good. (Dude, that means she likes how you look! That is an indicator of interest and you completely missed that! Do you see why you must read my book 10-15 times so you learn all these signs and tells? I think her friend wants you and you are missing the signs because you have only read my book once. Remember, human beings only retain about 10% of what they see and hear each time they see and hear it.) All the while myself thinking, yeah, that’s right you make sure and tell your cheating friend how damn good I look and am showing confidence in who I am as a man. (You should definitely ask her friend out.)
So Corey, if you don’t feel you can help me in a coaching session no worries. I do hope that if you cannot, you can at least send me some response to this email. Below is my contact info. Thank you very much. Look forward to your response.
(I can help anyone who has a sincere desire to be at their best personally and who is willing to take action to help themselves. In six months time you will be fucking women 10 times hotter and sweeter than your ex. Your ex is not good girlfriend or relationship material. Friends with benefits or someone to have an open relationship with only. The most important thing to men in a relationship is loyalty. The most important quality that women find sexually attractive in men is confidence. Practice what I teach over and over so it becomes part of you. Then you don’t have to think about it. It simply happens. To book a phone coaching session with me personally click here.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last… but eat you he will.”-Ronald Reagan