Her Male Orbiter Is Your Replacement If You Slip Up

Why you should avoid women who have male orbiters & avoid becoming one yourself.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who got dumped by his ex 2 years ago and replaced by her male best friend. This guy tried for years to break them up so he could have her and now they’re together. He’s traded places with him and keeps hoping to get her back despite her lack of integrity and loyalty. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Her Male Orbiter Is Your Replacement If You Slip Up”.

Well, this particular email is from a guy who had this exact experience. So he was with his girlfriend for about two years, I guess. And then she had her male best friend, I guess, apparently in the background was always trying to sandbag their relationship and break them up so he could get a shot with her. And he says eventually that guy was successful because, as the emailer says, he didn’t really understand relationships at the time.

But ever since then, she’s now with the supposed guy that was “just a friend. You don’t have to worry about him.” And they broke up two years ago. And so they have a lot of common friends and a peer group, and it’s pretty clear he’s just hanging out, hoping that now that he’s in, it’s like the roles have flipped. He’s basically the beta male orbiter hanging out in friend zone, hoping to get a shot with his now ex, while the guy who she was supposedly just a friend with and I’m sure she probably said, “oh, you don’t have to worry about him. We’re just friends.”

And they’re together. And so he’s like, well, I’ve dated a few girls. I brought girls to these events. So we get nothing works. You can tell he’s just clearly focused on obsessing over what was trying to get her back. Rejection breeds obsession. And he’s not really doing what he needs to be doing to move on and find somebody else. And the big glaring issue is he’s not paying attention to the fact that she clearly lined up the other guy while they were still together, and they were hanging out all the time, and she just went from one relationship to the next.

And he thinks it’s a good idea to want to get that particular woman back, as if she’ll magically change and become a good person overnight. So let’s go through his email. Because a lot of guys have this experience, you’ve got to pay attention to these things. You can’t just ignore it or buy the BS excuses because when you’re dating, you’re vetting for character. Character is destiny. A woman who values loyalty and monogamy and exclusivity, is not going to have a male best friend unless he’s gay, that she hangs out with all the time and talks to all the time when she’s in a relationship with you.

And what ends up happening is those guys are really just backup guys to date, in case it doesn’t work out with the guy she’s primarily with. And usually you see girls that come from broken homes that behave this way because dad wasn’t around to teach them how to act properly. And so they build a Frankenstein Boyfriend Project, which consists usually the guy they’re dating, along with multiple male orbiters and Harry Honda’s that do favors for them. Take him to lunch and do those kinds of things.

And so there’s always an abundance of dudes that if their primary guy’s not fulfilling their needs, they get their needs fulfilled through other men. So if you’re interested in family loyalty, monogamy, exclusivity, when you come across a girl like this that behaves this way and then tells you that you’re being controlling, if you don’t want her hanging out one on one with these men at night. And it’s like, these are the kind of things that you’re going to look into.

And if this is that behavior they’re exhibiting, when they want you to be exclusive, you’re going to politely decline and explain to them why. Because you got some boundaries and some self-respect, and you’re just not going to commit to somebody who thinks it’s okay to be parading around town with their backup dating prospects, because that’s what these guys are. Despite the denials of the woman or women that do this, this is what happens.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

Thanks for all the work that you do. I have found you not too long ago and am working on getting to 15 reads as soon as possible.

Well, you can read the book a hundred times, but if you don’t apply it, it’s not going to help you and you’re clearly not applying it. And on top of that, you’re completely ignoring the fact that it looks like your girl’s a liar and a cheater on top of that. So she’s just not a candidate for a loyal, monogamous, exclusive relationship. I mean, you completely ignore the fact that she dicked you over, and yet you’re wanting to give her another chance. Hey, knock it off! Stop it!

I also watch your videos daily to fill in the gaps.

Well, the videos are not a substitution for reading the book.

Here’s my situation. Me and my ex broke up over 2 and a half years ago.

That’s a long time, dude. Most people on average. I just did a video Newsletter this past week how it takes on average about 18 months for most people to get over an ex, but you’re not even trying to get over her. It’s like you’re just sitting around waiting for her to change her mind and want to come back to you. That’s not how this works.

She broke up with me and mentioned losing the spark, we were together for over 5 years. Shortly after she started dating her male best friend from school, and they have been dating for the last 2 years, in fact they live together.

It’s over, Dude. Your relationship is over. This woman moved on with a man she had lined up when you were together. You’re five years together didn’t mean shit to her. She’s not a loyal person. That is not what a loyal girl is going to do. Break up with you in weeks later she’s with the male friend that she’s known her whole life. It’s like, come on, she lined that up while you were together. Probably going to drinks and hanging out and going to dinner with this guy. So she was kind of casually seeing him behind your back. That’s what happened. You’re not going to fix that. Captain Save-A-Hoe is not going to solve this.

Due to mutual friends, we see each other pretty frequently, like 2-3 times a month. I never reach out to her, text her or anything, and try my best to respect the fact she’s in another relationship.

Well, that’s a bullshit statement because I already read this email. You’re not trying to respect their relationship. You’re just hoping to get your chance to slide back in there. And again, you’re ignoring the fact this woman is a low character human. She behaves like trailer trash.

I have dated other women, including one for a little over a year, but have not found anyone else that I truly love. 

Well, it’s kind of hard to find somebody new when you’re constantly obsessing over the ex, and I’m sure every time your group gets together, you make sure you don’t miss any of those get togethers. And you probably think about and strategize all month what you’re going to say to her and what you’re going to do when you see her. Meanwhile, you ignore the fact that she’s with another guy and lives with them. It’s it’s over. She’s not available.

Here’s the cycle I’m stuck in when we see each other. She still calls me pet names, tells me she loves me, touches me, reminisces on old times and pictures and also some light flirting here and there.

Again, you’re encouraging this. “You’re thinking, oh, well, maybe next time I see her, I’ll get my chance.” It’s like, that’s pathetic Dude. That’s really pathetic that you’re entertaining this woman who dicked you over two and a half years ago, and yet you can’t wait to get another helping of it. I mean, it’s got to be humiliating. I mean, how do your friends and the people in your peer group look at it? That’s just pathetic. You should move on and find somebody else. Because this woman is not going to be loyal to anybody. And the more you stick around trying to change your mind and hoping to get another chance, all you’re doing is validating that her ratchet, low integrity, low character way of going through the world is okay because you’ll put up with it. Probably the other guy will put up with it too.

I’ve tried to avoid her at these outings, I’ve tried bringing other girls. She gets extremely jealous.

It’s like, who cares? She lives with her boyfriend that she cheated on you with. It’s like, wake the fuck up, dude.

But it’s difficult. She’s very captivating and often times at these events (her boyfriend is not usually around) she’ll spend the entire time talking to me , and asking my advice on things, touching me and telling me about things going on in her life, but I’m stuck in limbo.

You’re not stuck in limbo. You put yourself there.

I would love to regain the power in this situation.

It’s not going to happen. It’s over dude. Elvis left the building two and a half years ago, and you just don’t admit it.

But it seems she has me as the back up option, the Plan B. How do I get out of this?

Recognize that this hoe ain’t loyal to anybody, and you’re not going to fix her or to save her, or fix her or turn her into a good woman. She’s a low character, human, and all you’re doing is validating her way of being and showing up because you keep hanging out and drooling all over her and looking for every opportunity to hang out with her one on one. And you probably got everybody in your little group conspiring to try to get the two of you together. It’s pathetic and it’s weak and it’s disgusting. It’s not masculine at all what you’re doing. I get hopeful she will leave the other guy just to be crushed over and over when she doesn’t. She ain’t gonna leave him because you’re acting like a bitch.

Number one, you acted like a bitch when you were together. That’s why she left you. You’re still acting like a bitch. And so she’s amused. You’re like the little ball of yarn, and she’s a cat, and she’s just playing with the ball of yarn. You entertain her, you talk to her. You’re part of her Frankenstein Boyfriend Project. Where’s her boyfriend? He doesn’t go because he probably doesn’t care to go. She probably complains about him and you think, oh, well, I’m going to get an opportunity. I’ll be able to slide right in there. But at the end of the day, she lives with this guy. It’s over. You need to wake the fuck up, dude, and move on with your life.

I get hopeful she will leave the other guy, just to be crushed over and over, when she doesn’t.

What is the best way to interact with her?

Don’t. If you see her and you make eye contact, smile and wave and then go about your business. Follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. You should not even be trying to get somebody like this back or contemplating it. They dicked you over so bad. You need to give your time and your attention to women who have high character and who value loyalty, monogamy, exclusivity, and don’t have 15 fucking beta male orbiters that are trying to slide into her pants, or a male best friend that’s not a gay dude. It’s like, again, the women that do that are all women that come from broken, fucked up homes.

It’s tough ignoring her, because like I said she’s on me immediately bombarding me with conversation at these events.

Well, that’s when you say, “this is inappropriate. You have a boyfriend, you live with them. You know, let’s we can be friendly and cordial, but you’re with somebody else, and these conversations are inappropriate.” The problem is you keep entertaining it thinking that it’s going to change your mind, but all you’re really doing is you’re keeping her company until her boyfriend gets home, and then she goes and she fucks him. And then you go home with blue balls and hang out with Rosie and her five fingered friends.

Everyone else already knows we have a connection, so if I arrive late, they will leave the seat open next to her for me to sit, or if she arrives late, they will get up to give their seat to her. 

I’m sure you’ve probably asked them to do that for you because you’re such a pussy. Come on, dude, have some self-respect. This is pathetic and weak to continue to go to these events every week where all your friends. Oh, let’s leave a seat open for his ex-girlfriend. Yeah, they probably are all sick of you talking about it and whining about it. And they do it just to shut you up. What you should be doing, is going and doing things with other people. Going out on dates with other girls and doing everything you can to find somebody new. You’re not going to fix this girl. You’re not going to save her. Say you’re able to successfully; say the other guy screws up and she dumps him and moves out and she starts hanging out with you.

She’s going to treat you the same exact way that she did the first time around. And eventually, when it suits her, she’ll cheat on you again. Because you enabled her behavior. You took her back even after she cheated on you. So pathetic Dude. I mean, you gotta have some self-respect. If she arrives late, they will get up to give the seat to her. And I’m sure you’re going. Oh. Oh, please let my ex-girlfriend sit next to me. Thanks. You’re a real friend. I’m hoping to get her back, even though she lives with another guy that she cheated on me with. It’s like, think how pathetic you look to your whole group of people. They probably do it because they feel sorry for you. Because whenever she’s not around, you’re probably crying the blues about it. And you can’t wait till she shows up.

I tried being nice, being distant, being cordial, flirting back etc. And still I’m stuck.

Well, you’re not applying anything that I teach, so you can’t be surprised that this is not going to work for you. What you need to do is focus your attention on women who are single and ready to mingle. Not the ex-girlfriend who dumped you two and a half years ago because she was cheating on you with another man and moved in with him. You’re not going to have a healthy relationship with that chick. She will continue to cheat on you, off and on the rest of your life if you take her back. Because there’s no consequences. She needs to see you with a hot, younger, better, loyal woman. And that’ll be the best kind of revenge. Success is always the best revenge. But you can’t make good wine from bad grapes. And this is not a fixable situation, dude.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated while I’m trying to absorb the subtleties of the mistakes I might be making.

Again, just the fact that you’re entertaining this idea of getting your ex back, who left you two and a half years ago and lives with the guy she cheated on you with, and you think that’s a good idea it’s fucking absurd. It’s absolutely absurd.

I have no idea the best way to interact with her for maximum impact. Friendly, neutral, flirty, distant, mean I don’t know.

You treat all women the same. It’s written in the book. The guy, the new boyfriend. He’s not really a new boyfriend. He’s been with her half as long as you have at this point.

This guy (new boyfriend) was friend zoned in the background for years trying to take our relationship down and finally succeeded due to me being clueless during our relationship. I want to respect their relationship.

But it’s tough due to him having zero respect for the relationship we had.

Thanks in advance,

Bob

No you don’t. There’s nothing in your email where you’re trying to respect their relationship. You’re pissed off. You want her back, and anything you think you can do that will work to break them up. You’re trying to do. That’s why you got your friends helping you out, holding a chair, getting you guys together. It’s pathetic and weak, and it’s disgusting. And it’s unbecoming of a man. What you should be doing is not even going to these events. And if you are going to go, always bring a date. And if she wants to talk to you, just say, “look, we used to be together. You cheated on me. You left me for this other dude that you said was just a friend. And I didn’t have to worry about him.

You have low character. I’m never going to date you again. It’s over. You need to move on and let me be. That’s what you should be saying. But instead, you’re eliciting the help of all the people in your peer group. Because especially there, you know you’re leaving a chair open for her, and if she shows up late, somebody will get up and move so she can sit next to you. That’s just so pathetic. It’s so pathetic. I mean, come on, dude, have some self-respect. Jump up and down really hard, and maybe finally your balls will finally drop. But this is just absolutely disgusting conduct on your part.

You’ve wasted two and a half years for somebody that clearly doesn’t care about you, doesn’t respect you. But she enjoys the attention you give her because her boyfriend ain’t there so she can get attention from you. This is how she’s always going to be. This is what she learned in her family. If your man’s not around, just go get attention from another guy. It’s not a big deal. So the way she behaves with you when the boyfriend’s not around, that’s exactly how she behaved when you weren’t around, when you guys were together. And look where that got you. She’s living with the guy she cheated on you with. I mean, what do you think’s gonna happen? Say you get back together.

You think she’s just all of a sudden going to become loyal and faithful and not have male orbiters? You think you’re going to be able to get away with telling her you’re not allowed to have male orbiters? You think she’s going to listen to you? Do you think she respects you enough to do that? It’s like, no fucking way. She’ll lie to your face and then continue doing it. This is just a low character, woman. Stop wasting your fucking time, dude. Two and a half years. So if you don’t have a date, you probably shouldn’t even go to these events. Unless there’s other single girls there you can talk to them. And spend time talking to him. If the girl wants to come over and sit next to you.

She can sit next to you, but you should be talking to somebody else. If she tries to interrupt, you say, excuse me, but I’m talking. Let her understand that you don’t really want to talk to her. You don’t want to be around her and stop kissing her ass, dude. Because if you behave this way with the next girl, you’re going to get dumped for exactly the same reason. You know you attract how you act, and the way you’re acting is you’re sending a signal to the universe that you’re okay with lying and cheating and disloyalty because you’re trying to get into her pants still. You’re not trying to respect their relationship. I mean, what a load of bullshit. I can’t believe you didn’t put that in the email.

But it’s not surprising because you’re deluding yourself and you’re deluding me. And it looks like you’ve incorporated your friends and your peer group to help you live out your delusion with this particular woman. So it’s time to move on Dude. Read the book and find somebody better. This girl is not a candidate for the kind of relationship that you want. It’s just a fact of life. As harsh as it is, somebody’s got to tell you that because it’s pretty clear everybody in your peer group is blowing a bunch of fucking sunshine up your ass. And it doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t help you.

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