The Best Strategy To Get An Ex Back

Nov 5, 2010 by Coach Corey Wayne
iStock / nd3000
Photo by iStock/nd3000

Here’s how to re-attract a girlfriend or wife when things go sideways, you get dumped or she chooses another guy over you. If you are a lady looking to get a guy back, this works on men too!

However, in order to have a chance at getting the person you want back, their romantic level of interest in you must be at least 51% or greater to start with. If its not you don’t have a chance. The strategy is a statement of purpose, what you want and standing up for yourself. It also will demonstrate your respect for yourself.

Before I get into the strategy, let me share the proper mindset from a warrior. I want to tell you about someone whose work you should get to know. His name is Michael Yon, he is a retired US Army Green Beret. He became a war correspondent and blogger about 4-5 years ago after a good friend of his and retired US Navy SEAL was murdered in Iraq.

His friend was working for a defense contractor riding in un-armored vehicles in Fallauja Iraq (I think around 2005-2006). After his body was butchered, burned and mutilated, what was left of it was hung from a bridge in Fallauja. Those images and video footage were shown all over the world as the violence in Iraq spiraled out of control.

Michael has spent more time embedded with the US Military Units in combat than any other war correspondent in the world. People have gotten killed, wounded, blown up, attacked and burned to death all around him. One time after returning to base with the US Army Soldiers he was embedded with, he was reviewing some footage after an IED (improvised Explosive Device) blew up a US Army Stryker vehicle. Several crew members died inside. When he was playing the footage back, he realized the video camera mic had actually picked up the screams of the men still trapped inside as they were slowly burning to death.

He’s seen a lot of shit. He’s seen good men and women die on all sides of the battlefield. So far he is unscathed. He is honest, honorable, a patriot and always tells it like it is. Good or bad. When we were losing the Iraq war he reported it. When our troops and their Iraqi allies turned it around, he reported that too. If you want to be moved and understand what is really going on in Iraq and Afghanistan, free from the spin of the mainstream media, these story’s of Michael’s will move you:

Bless The Beasts and Children

Click here to visit Michael’s incredible personal website!

Michael said something once that I never forgot. He said… “the strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away, and mean it.” So here’s what you do. Tell the ex or girl/guy who has said they “just want to be friends” or have found someone else (say this from a place of LOVE): “I want you, I adore you, you mean the world to me, etc.” What ever you authentically feel for them, say it from your HEART. Then say “I’m not interested in just being friends, being your male girlfriend (say this if you are a guy), etc.” “I want you, but I just can’t do the friends only thing. I can’t be around you and not be able to touch, kiss and have you. So if you don’t want the same thing, then we don’t need to see each other anymore. I don’t want you to call me unless you want me. If you do, then you better come over and show me. I don’t want to hear about what you are going to do in the future, just come over and show me. Otherwise its been wonderful getting to know you. I wish you all the best, but I am not willing to settle for anything less than what I want. I’ve got too much to offer.”

Then you must leave (or hang up the phone if you are on the phone with them) and never look back. You must never call them again. You must be congruent with what you said you wanted. You can’t say “I don’t want to see you again” and then call them the next day “just to chat.” Grow a set of balls (ladies a spine) and stand up for yourself and what you want.

If you stick around, you are being weak and proving to them that you are not worthy. They will keep you around in the background and then blow you off for good once things get well established with someone new.

If you have not heard from them in two weeks, then write them off. If they’ve left you only after they found someone new, then you won’t hear from them. They may call you months later if it does not work out with the other person, but you have to move on. Go meet and date as many new people as possible. Its called standing up for yourself. In time you will grow stronger and not care anymore. You do that, and eventually you will meet someone who you love more, and who is better suited for you. I guarantee it!

The ex will respect you if you walk away. If you stick around you are just being a doormat. You will get no respect or what you want being a doormat.

That’s the basic strategy in a nutshell.

“Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you.” ~ Unknown

Here’s What You Are Truly Capable Of…

When you become a Man who is a “10” in his heart, & you date a woman who is a “10”, this is the type of thing she will write about you when she is your ex…

“Corey is a gift and a blessing in my life. I came out of a relationship where I was so emotionally hurt, that at the time it was almost unbearable. The thought of being with someone else was something I just could not even imagine.

When I met Corey, he didn’t approach me like most other guys, he had a certain presence about him, one that made him stand out from many other guys. We are very close and have both grown into the people we are today because of having the relationship that we have. Corey really understands how women’s mind’s work, and sometimes I am so blown away as I feel he can really read my mind. He always knows what to say and says the right things at the right time – I wish all men were like him!

Corey’s insights and understanding of women has taken my life to whole new levels.
I am a completely different person today compared to the person I was before I met him. I have evolved into more of the woman I am today because of the gift that he has. He has shown me what true love in a relationship really is. It is amazing and is something I did not experience in my relationship before.

With the work that I do, I know so many people do not feel true, explicit love, joy and happiness in their relationships. Corey will teach you how to take your relationship to whole new levels – levels that you may think are almost un-imaginable.

Corey, I cherish you and I love you. Thank you for being one of the most important people in my life. You are an amazing friend and I continually look forward to growing more together.”

Katie Chimes
London, UK

This Is What Happens When Corey Coaches You…

This is an email I got from a phone coaching client:

“Dear Corey,

I wanted to take the time to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my dreams of getting with my dream girlfriend a realty.

Your book and personal guidance have changed my life and made me understand how women think and act. Let me describe my journey to love briefly…

After a short but very intense and exciting relationship I was left from one day to the other. My girlfriend suddenly turned our deep but short love affair off. I did not understand what has happened, neither was I aware of the exact reason until later.

3 months went by and I was still thinking about her and had that feeling inside of me that I can not let the past be, because I felt that she was THE woman for my life. The person of my deepest desire, friend and companion.

I kept thinking of what to do to win her heart again, since I knew and felt that she really liked me a lot back then.

A I was wondering what to do, I received your phone call. We talked about women and relationships.

You were telling me about your book and coaching sessions and I was excited about the fact that you seemed to be very understanding about woman in general. Luckily, I got a copy of your Book ” The 3% Man ” for me to read.

That evening I started reading the first few pages at my house, and my eyes opened up slowly but steady about the information provided to me. Since my thoughts were always around my past girlfriend, the ONE I did not want to let get away, I picked up the phone the next day to share my excitement about the material you have given me with you. To make a long story short, I asked you to coach me to get the woman of my dreams back into my life and actually make her fall in love with me.

Over the next 3 weeks my life turned into a roller coaster of excitement and passion to see and feel how your advice made turn things completely around. From the first recommendation of what to say to the point on how to react with my ex girlfriend, I was able to make her skyrocket her interest in me. No matter what my initial belief was, I was acting exactly as you suggested and my girlfriend turned into the person I wanted her to be for so long.

Over the past 3 months, I have experienced the greatest gift ever given to man, a loving and caring girlfriend which is crazy about me. I have become completely confident on how to read a woman’s mind, understand her thinking, reactions and actions. I can already predict on what she is going to do, say or not do.

Your personal coaching has put me in the driver seat and get me what I was looking for so long.

I get sweet text messages throughout the day from her, romantic dinners at the house, great excitement in the bedroom and the willingness to make our relationship grow day by day with her making the first step all the time.

Wow, what a woman ! Wow, what a coach you are!!!

We are traveling to Europe in a few weeks together and I will introduce my love to my parents.

Just within 2 months I have achieved what I was wanting! This would have never been possible without your help!!!

Thank you very much and I hope you will help many other guys to meet and keep the woman of their dreams.”

God Bless,

Andre S.
Los Angeles, CA

Get the Book “How To Be A 3% Man”

How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | FREE**
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
How to Be a 3% Man
Kindle eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
iBooks eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Get the Book “Mastering Yourself”

Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | FREE**
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
Mastering Yourself
Kindle eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
iBooks eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Coach Corey Wayne Merchandise

T-Shirts & Mugs

If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com

If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:

  1. Make a donation to my work by clicking here to donate via PayPal anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck... $2... $3... $5... $10... $20... what ever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, videos, emails, newsletters, etc.
  2. Referring your friends and family to this website so they can start learning and improving their dating and relationship life, happiness, balance and overall success in every area of their lives too!
  3. Purchase a phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session for yourself or a friend by clicking here. Download the Amazon.com Kindle version of my book to your Kindle, Smartphone, Mac or PC for only $9.99 by clicking here. Get the iBook version for $9.99 from the iBookstore by clicking here. Get the Audio Book for FREE $0.00 with an Audible.com membership by clicking here or buy it for $19.95 at Amazon.com by clicking here. Get the iTunes Audio Book for $19.95 by clicking here. That way, you'll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message!

From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

Published on November 5, 2010

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Dear corey wayne

    I used your technique only i failed to say what i really wanted to say i haven’t said that I’m sorry for what went wrong and didn’t tell her I love her. But two weeks ago I gave her a letter in wich i did tell her I love her. We also had a couple of dates but i was getting in the ‘friendzone I guess’. we had a lot of fun and stuff i even stayed over at her place twice but we didn’t have sex or anything like that( we did cuddle). My question is should I send her a more constructive message in wich I say I am not crawling back, but that I just wanted to really show her how i feel or would this turn out bad?

    It would be very kind of you if you helped me out with this

    yours sincerley

    Alexander

  2. Hello Coach Wayne, I’ve been following your videos and recently just bought your book on the kindle app..I recently have experienced a break up for something that I did, have tried everything to get her back and havent been successful…Finally I left her alone following your advice but recently got a missed facetime call sunday morning. I didnt answer because I was sleeping, but should I call her back or wait until she does so again?

  3. Hi how are you
    My self and my wife where married for 13 years we spilt up 2.5 years ago she asked for us to get back together again 1year ago and we did and then spilt 2.5 months ago but now I ready know now much i love her but she doesn’t want to know can you please me

    Seamus

  4. Hi
    I found your post on strategy to get an ex back interesting, but does it work on a distance relationship.
    My ex and I were very much in love but distance has got in the way (literally)
    I’ve noticed if I message her she backs of but if I leave her alone she’ll message me.
    Shes coming back to England soon and I’d like to make sure we meet.
    Do you have any suggestions?
    Many thanks
    J

  5. Hey Coach Corey,

    Your suggested statement to the ex that she not “call me unless she wants me” doesnt that give her all the power of knowing she can still reject you and then go back to you whenever it doesn’t work out on her own or with the next guy?

    • Dear Robe Smythe

      As mentionned in the book, women are EMOTIONAL beings. Men LOGICAL beings. On your statement you are been LOGICAL and what you say is exact. But because women are EMOTIONAL they will not think as you are thinking.

      Kind regards

  6. My ex broke up with me 2 and a half months ago. I made some common mistakes for a couple days after. Nothing too extreme, but I asked her to reverse her decision. For the next 2 months I hung around and saw her a couple times and did hook up, but there was no effort on her end at all. I gave up and went no contact for about a week to see if she would come around.

    I was sick of waiting and I still had not told her what I wanted, that I was sorry for my mistakes (and what I was doing to work on them), and that I wasn’t going to stick around in friendzone (with benefits on her terms) only to see her here and there until she found someone new.

    I wrote her a text very similar to what Corey suggested. Told her I was sorry, what I have done to work on my part of the relationship failure, that I was not interested in friends and that I was walking and to please not contact me unless she wanted to get back together.

    I hadn’t heard from her in 10 days. She replied within hours that she wanted to meet and talk. I told her I’ve been busy and I don’t feel like going out, but she can come over. She said she couldn’t come over because she too was busy. I said let me know if you change your mind. She then asked of she could come over Sunday.

    I will see her Sunday and see what she has to say (I will let her do the talking, hangout,, have fun, and hook up)….so far this plan is working great.

    I will apply everything else I’ve learned from this point forward. My advice…don’t threaten to walk, you have to mean it. You absolutely have to walk after. So if you use this method you have to say it and mean it or it’s useless. Be prepared!

  7. I am doing just this and following Corey’s advice. My lady dumped me after it went sideways because of weakness, neediness and ignorance on my part. We had a great relationship but I was just too “nice” and available. Women see that as smothering and suffocating. Corey warns about this type of behavior all the time!!!! Wish I would have found his work and book two months ago! I hope she comes back because I like her so much. But I have grown a pair and told her to not contact me unless she wants romance and I walked away into no contact. If she reaches out I will follow what Corey teaches.

    Corey is the most important person in my life who I have never met! Can never thank you enough Corey and will be making donation.

  8. I am trying to follow corey’s advice but any help from people that have gone through being dumped would be awesome. My story is below:

    My ex-girlfriend moved away in January on 2017 for a job and family and we were making the long distance thing work. We got in to an argument over part of the move and I tried contacting her with no response for two days so I gave her space for 5 days. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and did the 10 hour drive to see her and surprised her. She was in shock and said she wouldn’t see me. I got a hotel room and finally that night she agreeded to see me the next morning. After we met she told she didn’t want space and needed me to just keep trying. She then said she now doesn’t know what she wants. An hour after I left town, she called me in tears saying how much she loved me and couldn’t believe how she treated me. This was a tuesday and we talked the whole way home. Wednesday was normal and we spoke and said the normal I love you’s. Thursday came around and we text but no calls. I sent her flowers that I ordered on the way back Tuesday and got a text when they got there that friday they were overkill. Later that day she sent me a text and said we shouldn’t date right now. I sent a nice text back and said maybe we can connect in a few weeks.

    8 days later she texts me and ends the conversation maybe two hours in. The next day she texts me just a thank you for something i left from my last visit to her. Now the contact is very sparatic and I initiate it and she does too. Monday night of this week I broke down and called her and Tuesday she called me back. We spoke for 20 minutes and it was great. The contact hasn’t been much since Tuesday now. If i truly love her and want to be with her, how should I follow these signs and signals?

    Thanks!

  9. Hey I just recently got broken up with by my girlfriend of 4-5 months… it was my fault I was changing because I didn’t take my meds. She broke up an we didn’t talk or text for for 2 days but then she contacted me about if I wanted my stuff back. We met up an talked an I explained things to her but she says she still loves me but the reliefs are gone an she doesn’t think they’ll come back. She’s leaving for college in a month. Do I have a chance?

  10. I just got broken up with by my 18 year old girl of 4-5 months… I wasn’t taking my meds an I became paranoid… I’m back on them but we met to give me my stuff back an she said she’ll always love me but her feelings are gone. She leaves for college in a month. Do I have a chance???

  11. Hello Corey

    My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago because I was showing weakness etc. I have read and listened to your book 3 times so far, just got into it a week ago.

    I haven’t talked to my ex for 1.5 months and wondering if I should contact her to tell her my “terms” cause when we broke up I told her only to contact me if she was ready for a relationship, but I don’t want to loose her in my life.

    Should I tell her now after 1.5 months of not talking to her “Hey I just wanted to tell you that I really love you, and if you are still interested in me I would love to get back together, but If you only want to be friends with my please don’t contact me because that is not what I want. You can contact me if you change your mind. ”

    I think she might still have interest in me because she keeps asking mutual friends about me, plus she always looking at my instragram stories.

    Thanks for your feedback

  12. Hello Corey

    I have been dating this girl for 3 months and she then breaks up with me because I did a lot of things wrong, I realized after going through your book. I have read and listened to it 3 times so far, found it a week ago.
    I wanted to know if when she broke up with me I didn’t handle it well, but we haven’t spoken in 1,5 months, so my question is should I contact her and tell her my intentions. As you say to tell her “You know I love you, but I can’t just be friends with you, if you change your mind and want to be with me you can contact me” or something like that or do I just walk away and mean it without saying anything to her?

    Thanks for the help, I wish I had found your work 6 months ago 😀

  13. This is so true.

    If she flakes on you, tell her exactly what Corey says. As long as you weren’t an abusive partner or an extreme pussy, and were a kind and decent man to her, your chances of getting back with the girl are almost 100% if you do this – I’d say 95% plus. It is fundamental human psychology at work. People want back what they lost. Scarcity create value. Even if she dumped you, she still lost you too and no contact over several days or weeks will really sting her. She will start to see your strength and power and think she lost a good thing. So few men have the metal strength to do this because many men have become pussies. No one is playing games here, SHE dumped you so she must be made to suffer the consequences. So you tell her to call you if she changes her mind, EXACTLY like Corey says in a kind and controlled manner, and you back out of her life – a request SHE made – immediatly. Not tomorrow or next week. NOW! This is honouring her wishes and is self respect. If you keep reaching out she will think you are a weak, oneitis pussy. There are no exceptions to the rule. If you were together ten weeks or fifty years, it is the same.

    The chances of her returning are directly proportional to your strength in NOT reaching out to her. If you DON’T reach out they are almost 100% she’ll be back in a few weeks, maybe less. If you are a pussy and keep reaching out your chances go down dramatically. Women want a man who can stand up to their shit, they do not want a pussy. I know from personal experience this technique works and many other guys will tell you the same. So you need to grow a set and man the fuck up and leave her alone. She will be back. I guarantee it. It is NOT a game – you are giving her what she asked for.

Leave a Reply to Carly Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

SUGGESTED ARTICLES

PHONE COACHING, EMAIL COACHING & PRODUCTS

1 Hour Phone/Skype Coaching Session

with Coach Corey Wayne
coachingcta-phone-300x200
This is for a one (1) hour phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session with Life & Peak Performance Coach Corey Wayne.

Emergency Email Response Coaching

with Coach Corey Wayne

DISCONTINUED

This is for one (1) emergency email response from Life & Peak Performance Coach Corey Wayne to one (1) email of yours.

Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc.

Highly Recommended
coachingcta-amazon-300x200
Click the button above to visit my Amazon.com list of recommended self-help products such as books, supplements, appliances, tools, etc.

Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc.

Recommended by Coach Corey Wayne
coachingcta-amazon-landscape
Click the button above to visit my Amazon.com list of recommended self-help products such as books, supplements, appliances, tools, etc.
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
FOLLOW
DONATE
PRODUCTS
SHARE
top