How to become the man that women approach first to date and sleep up with.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a middle-aged viewer who came across my work after his ex-girlfriend cheated on him. He shares what he did and said to cause his new girlfriend to approach him first while he was out at a country bar doing line dancing.
He raised his standards and attracted another hot woman half his age who loves older, mature men. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This is a really beautiful new love story, and it’s a great application of the principles from 3% Man, when somebody applies them competently, and how easy and effortless things can be. It just completely takes all of the mystery out of dating and makes it easy and effortless. It’s really a lot of fun when a new love story starts. You already know everything that’s going to happen before it happens, just magical experiences.
In April 2021, my ex-girlfriend at the time cheated on me and it really shook me up.
The number one, most important thing to men in a relationship is loyalty. And when your girl cheats on you, that’s pretty much the worse thing they can do.
She had a personality disorder and wanted to be saved. I was codependent and became trauma bonded to her.
Captain Save-a-Hoe to the rescue!
I am middle aged, she was half my age, and I was the knight in shining armor who ultimately could never do enough to meet her needs.
Well, two people come together to share their completeness, not to complete one another, like Tom Cruise’s character talked about in “Jerry McGuire.” That’s not how things work in the real world.
It was a difficult relationship, and I was a broken man. I felt hopeless after that breakup and decided to stay single and seek help. The men’s group that I found taught me about the Consciousness Exercises Dr. D’Anna discusses in your videos.
The Consciousness Exercises are on the home page of my YouTube channel. There’s actually a playlist, “Consciousness Exercises 1-12.” You can follow the videos in order with Dr. Dominick D’Anna and Gracie. They’re really good. If you just lie down in front of your TV and do them, you will notice a change, you will feel something.
That group is run by a chiropractor named David Mehler, and his men’s group is called Man On Fire.
I believe Dominick has told me about that guy before. I think he was in his coaching program, or something like that. He really liked his work.
The Consciousness Exercises helped me elevate myself above the cycle of suffering, blame and frustration, and into my power. I decided to increase my standards as a masculine leader, clear the illusions I had in my own head, prepare myself for transformation and assume a higher level of responsibility: to expand and serve my gifts to others. I worked on myself for 6 months before seeking out better tips for dating, which is how I came across your channel! It was truly a gift to know that I was setting myself up for success with the CE’s prior to exploring dating perspectives.
It’s like you upgraded your hardware to run the software.
I read your book, 3% Man, 10 times before interacting with women.
This is another reason why it’s such a good success story. All the best success stories, are after ten or more reads. That’s the one thing they all have in common – serious students who take this seriously, who take their lives seriously, and participating in their own rescue seriously.
The book proved that I did everything wrong in my last relationships, (which amounted to 2 marriages that ended in divorce and 1 long term romantic relationship that failed). With daily CE practice and lots of information from your book, I started to go out to a country bar, alone, and try to figure out how to line dance by watching other people. I didn’t hit on anyone but often observed women coming up to me to talk.
So, what you’re seeing here in play is what I talked about in the article I did years ago, “How To Get Women To Approach You First.” And I also discuss it in “3% Man.” Become the kind of man that women would want to approach first – a guy that separates himself apart from all of the other competition.
They’d share their food with me, kiss me on the cheek and even give me their numbers.
Ha, I’m shocked.
I didn’t have much interest, as I was still working on myself and didn’t feel ready to start a relationship. They were mostly around my age, (mid 40s). After being in a long-term relationship with someone half my age and energetic, it’s hard to not want that again, so I didn’t settle.
I’m with you, brother.
I befriended a few men who were also like me, middle aged and single, and after a couple weeks, they let me know that younger women were watching me line dancing a lot.
See how easy this is? You just show up, enjoy your life, and women approach you first. Because women can tell, they can feel the vibe that you’re giving off. They’re much more intuitive and way more emotional than us. They have a sixth sense. There’s just something about you.
I didn’t do anything other than all 12 CE’s every evening before going out and listened to your 3% Man audiobook driving back and forth to the bar.
This is a serious student.
I just went out and enjoyed dancing.
Exactly. You don’t go out to meet women or find women. You go out to enjoy your life. And if you attract a few cuties while you’re out, well, that’s just a bonus.
Well, in mid-January of this year, I met a beautiful woman at that bar, half my age, that approached me to talk, and she gave off such strong signs of attraction that I decided to ask her questions and flirt a little. The next week, I saw her, and flat out told her I was interested in her, but I was aware that I was much older. She told me she got along better with older men than guys her own age. Wow! That sounded like a true opportunity!
So, obviously, me personally, I wouldn’t have said that, because what you’re doing is you’re expressing doubts and fears about yourself that you don’t feel worthy. It’s like you’re apologizing for being older, instead of having the attitude of, “Of course she likes me, I’m a man. I’m a stud. I’ve got ‘3% Man’ on my side.”
We dated for a few weeks, and I stayed imperturbable through a few weak tests. I used most of your content while dating her, which was helpful, since I truly felt like I didn’t know what I was doing after many years of not dating. Dinner dates would result in 3 hours of conversation where she did most of the talking and was revealing more vulnerable details about herself.
See how easy and effortless this is? And all he did was take a sincere, authentic interest in a fair maiden who approached him first. She presented the opportunity to be opened up, and he obliged in more ways than one, as you’ll see.
As she became more vulnerable, I decided to reveal more about me, because it just felt right to do so. Sharing my vulnerability created a huge amount of intimacy in this connection with her.
When you finally get to the place where you can accept your flaws and your faults and you’re no longer having an emotional charge with them, nobody can use them against you. You can talk about your flaws and faults, but you have a positive, optimistic outlook on how it shaped you into the man you are today. You don’t present them as, “Oh, I’ve got this bad part about me, and I’m a mess, and girls don’t like me,” or “I always get friendzoned,” or whatever it happens to be.
A lot of guys take that vulnerability and they act like the weak-ass saps that you see in movies, drooling all over women, “I’m not worthy, your highness.” Here, you’re expressing your flaws and your faults, but you’re like, “I got over it. It made me the man I am today. I’m proud of all my struggles. I’m glad everything happened to me the way it did. What happened happened, and it couldn’t have happened any other way. It was a gift.” When you have that attitude, women appreciate that, versus “I’m a loser. Please love me. I hope you like me. Your highness, can I kiss your feet? Can I bow down before you?”
She then revealed that she had her own life coach helping her, just as I was working with my men’s group. We were similar creatures coming together at times in our lives where we both could find our match.
It’s what I talk about all the time, like attracts like. People that like the same things tend to like each other. Two people working on themselves, looking for and seeking the right person, and boom! It just happens, like magic. Again, I wrote about several times this happened in my life in my book, “3% Man.” It’s amazing. It’s magical.
I remember setting up one date where we went to a very expensive steak house. While she was getting ready, she texted me to ask what kind of jewelry she should wear.
Seeking her man’s approval. “Daddy, what do you want me to wear tonight that you can take off later when we get naughty?”
The old me would have let her make the choice, but I stood up as a masculine leader and decided what would complement her outfit. She appreciated that.
Well, she asked for your opinion and you gave it to her, instead of just going, “Whatever you want, your highness. I’m just happy to be here.”
Her job responsibilities require her to be a leader during the day, so the last thing she needs is more leadership responsibility after work. And when we would meet after work.
I could feel her melt into me as I maintained a strong masculine presence. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch. I didn’t smother her, but instead maintained distance between dates because, as you say, women are like cats.
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free,” as Thich Nhat Hahn said.
This created more attraction and allowed me to monitor her behavior for red flags before deciding to make my move. We shared a first kiss on Valentine’s Day of this year. I used your recommendation of looking back and forth from the eyes to the lips, and she did the same, so I knew she was ready.
This is known as the kiss test.
This totally took the anxiety away!
Yeah, that kiss test is really powerful, especially for you guys that are worried about getting rejected. This way, she looks at your lips while you’re doing that, and she’s thinking, “I’d like to kiss those lips.”
Ever since that night, she texts me every day and maintains contact nearly all day long from ‘good morning’ to ‘good night’ texts.
Sounds sweet. I like this girl, so far.
Two weeks after starting to date, things escalated in the bedroom.
Two weeks after that, we’re “all in.” We are now together 3 months, and we celebrated by me taking the lead and arranging a surprise getaway to a cabin in the mountains, which she just loved. She told me how much she appreciated me the entire weekend. That is huge to me as my love language is Words of Affirmation.
And I assume and hope that you’ve communicated that to her, and she’s communicated hers to you, as well. Very important.
Thank you, Coach! Your words of wisdom helped me be prepared to start a beautiful relationship I could have only imagined in my dreams. Seriously, thank you!
Well, thanks for sharing. Welcome to the 3% Club, brother.
By the way, the other single men I met at the bar wanted to know my secret after they see me and my girlfriend showing affection routinely. Per my recommendation, they are now reading 3% Man and working on leveling up themselves.
Well, I really appreciate that. The highest compliment you can give me is to refer your friends and family to me. And also, you should refer yourself to my Rumble Channel at Coach Corey Wayne . Follow me there and watch videos there, just because I’m having problems on social media – on Facebook, Instagram, pretty much all the social media.
They want to attract women the same way I attracted mine.
Easy and effortless, that’s the best way.
The fact is, if we put in the work and grow, we will attract the ones with the same energy.
And if you would like to book a coaching session, maybe you’re having a challenge in your personal or your professional life and you’d like my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com and click the Products tab at the top of your screen.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur