How To Get Her Friends On Your Side So They Help You Seduce Her

How to create rapport with her friends so they help you to seduce her.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s starting to apply what I teach and provides an update since his last email. He was at his brothers concert doing the mayor campaign and thought he was making progress with a group of girls. However, he didn’t realize he overstayed his welcome and they basically told him to get lost.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, ” How To Get Her Friends On Your Side So They Help You Seduce Her”.

So this particular email is from a viewer who’s starting to apply what I teach in 3% Man, and he provides an update since his last email. And I guess apparently his brothers are musicians. And so they were putting on a concert, I guess, at a venue. And so he was kind of going around doing the mayor campaign, thought he was making progress with a group of girls. And at one point it even seemed like the girl’s friends were encouraging him and her to get together. But at some point, something happened. He overstayed his welcome and it became clear that the girlfriends basically became cock blockers, clam slammers, if you will, and were trying to keep him away from her. And eventually he goes up to her alone and she just kind of looks at him, looks away, and then a dude comes up from their group and is like, basically says, “hey, get lost.” So he doesn’t realize there was I don’t think he’s got enough sensory acuity to realize that the vibe changed, and he was no longer welcome and he kept hanging out. He overstayed his welcome. The idea is you’re trying to create the conditions, especially if you’re doing the mayor campaign, is you go around, you clink your glass. “Hey, how you guys doing? What are you up to tonight? Where are you headed after?” That kind of thing. “Oh, hey. Great chatting with you. Hit me up. I’ll bump into you guys later.” And then you just move on. And what happens after you do that, you go around to everybody in the venue or within an area where you’re going to be hanging out. And then once you get done doing that, you go and hang by high traffic place in the usually the bar where everybody’s got to go to get drinks, and you’ll probably see a bunch of the same people that came up to you. And if there’s any of those groups of people that you approach and girls liked you, they’ll find a reason to come over and talk to you and make it easy to get to know them. But if you start chasing and pursuing them, you’re going to run into things like this. Like, it looks like he may have just said something or did something, or, you know, it also looks like they were encouraging them to kiss and to hook up. And he kind of froze and didn’t really do anything. And so maybe after a while, he just kind of lingered and it got awkward. He didn’t realize it was awkward and he was no longer welcome and he did not notice that. And so something to understand for you, especially guys that are in sales, you understand this. Like back when I was in real estate, we would do what was called a buyer’s consultation for people. So this was after we already had their credit report, we had their income information, and then they would come in and bring their actual documents. After we’ve already pulled their credit, talk to the underwriter, looked at their income information and got them pre-qualified already, or I should say pre-approved, and then they would come in. And oftentimes I might only be dealing with the husband up front or the wife up front. And something that’s important to understand about that is that you’ve got two decision makers. You need to have rapport, both of them.

So like, give you an example. They come in if you’ve only been dealing with the guy and he’s like, well, I’m handling this. This is my thing. Obviously we knew better, but a lot of guys were like that. So if they come in for the buyers consultation and you spend most of that time just talking and shooting the shit with the husband or the boyfriend, and you don’t really pay much attention to the chick because you’re like, “oh, well, she’s not a decision maker anyways.” She’s going to walk out of that consultation not liking you, and she’s going to torpedo the deal. And on top of that, she’ll probably end up getting him to go to another realtor or mortgage broker just because she doesn’t like you, because you didn’t take the time to get to know her. And so same logic applies. Sometimes it’d be the woman is all, I’m handling this, you know, my husband’s like, pick out whatever house you want, and occasionally you fall into that trap. And then the husband would come in at the last minute and torpedo the deal because you don’t know him, you never saw him. And then, boom, you wasted all that time. So it’s important. And sometimes we would say it’s, “well, we’ve got to get all decision makers together.” It’s like, “well, I’m going to be handling.” It’s like, “well, obviously your wife’s going to be making a choice. So I want to meet both of you. I want to make sure both of your concerns are handled. That’s just that’s the way I do things. I want to have a good relationship with both of you because it’s your house. It’s your family home. And all decision makers need to be involved, especially if they’re co-signing if she’s going to be on the mortgage, if she’s going to be on the deed, she needs to be involved.” So the point being is anytime we didn’t do that, or maybe we spend a little too much time with one versus the other, especially if we thought one was kind of quiet and wasn’t really that involved. If you don’t take the time to create rapport and get them to like you, then that’s all it takes is one person that doesn’t like you to torpedo the deal. Now how can you take that into a situation where you’re out and you’re talking to a bunch of groups of girls. And they say there’s four girls and there’s one that you really like and you’re really attracted to. Well, it’s super important that you really initially, you’re nice to the one you like or the “target”, if you borrow a term from the seduction and pickup community. Is that you’re actually going to focus on creating rapport with the other girlfriends first. Because if they all like you and they all think you’re cool, and how do you get them to do that? You ask them the kind of questions that they would enjoy answering. Getting them to talk, listening, being sincerely, authentically interested in the girls in the group. And the more you focus on the girls in the group and aren’t really paying so much attention to the girl you like, usually the girl you like will try to get noticed. And then after you’ve created rapport with the friends and they like you, now they’re your allies and teammates. Now they’ll help you seduce her. But if you just go focus in on the target and maybe talk to one of the other girls, but the other ones you don’t like, or you don’t really spend any time talking to them, all it takes is one chick that doesn’t like you to ruin it. So it’s important. If you think about it, you’re like the master of ceremonies. You want everybody to come and enjoy your party. And so as a host, you want to make sure all of your guests are happy, not just certain ones you like or certain ones that are considered more popular than others or that are in your clique or whatever. It’s, you know, what’s interesting when you look at like, what makes somebody popular in high school, it’s that they’re well liked. They like a lot of people. And in other words, they know everybody. They’re always talking to everybody. They treat everybody the same. They don’t, “oh, I’m only going to talk to these certain people here. Oh, that person is stuck up.” But if you’re known to converse with everybody, “hey, what are you guys up to? How you been? What are you doing?” In other words, that’s what you know, when I looked at my closest friends like one of them, it was like the most popular guy in our class. he was always hanging out around the keg. Usually I was too. And we’re joking, laughing. We’re pouring drinks for people. “Hey, what are you guys up to?” You’re pumping the keg to make sure you got plenty of pressure. And it was great. And just watching him operate, even to this day, he’s the same way, wherever we go. He wants to make sure everybody’s comfortable. On the weekends at the house, he it’s like everybody in the neighborhood comes over to their house. They bring the kids over, the wives come over, everybody hangs out. There’s plenty of food. He’s grilling out. He makes sure everybody is having a good time. He doesn’t neglect half his guests and only spend time with the guests he likes the most. He spends time with everybody. And he was like that in high school. That’s why he was the most popular guy there, because he made everybody feel like he liked them and they liked him back, and it made things really easy. That’s why he He slept with pretty much any of the girls that he wanted to in high school. So this is important. If you’re going to be talking to girls in groups, it’s actually a little more important to make sure all of her friends or people in the group, especially if there’s dudes there that they like you and you treat them with respect. Because a lot of guys will think, “oh, I don’t want to talk to that guy. He’s my competition.” And then they ignore him. And yet he’s part everybody. All the girls know him, even if he’s a beta male orbiter. If he likes you and you shake his hand and you shoot the shit for a little bit and he likes you, he’s not going to see you as a threat, and he’s going to welcome you in and help you. So it’s important that you do these things. And then the last thing is that you focus on creating rapport with the person that you’re really interested in. So with that little diatribe of mind, let’s go through his email and see what happened here.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

You recently posted a video about me titled, How To Enjoy Life & Attract Women Even When You’re Struggling.

So it’s probably about 2 or 3 weeks ago, I think I did that one.

You said my purpose should be to have fun, so I went to a concert where my brothers were performing. I was approaching random people, talking to them (acted like a host just like described in the book.

That’s what we call the mayor campaign.

Dancing with girls and sometimes by myself if I wanted to. I did what it felt like fun for me in the moment. Story: I said hello to 4 girls. The one I was talking to said they saw me on the dance floor. She invited me to join them at the table to chat. She said her friend “Jessica” had a crush on me and that they were dancing in my vicinity so I would notice her. I invited “Jessica” to dance. She seemed very happy. She was kind of drunk.

That’s the other thing, you know, somebody’s really drunk, especially if they’re blackout drunk. They don’t remember who you are the next day. That’s one of the downsides of being out in bars or nightclubs trying to meet girls, especially. Some people can hide it. You can’t tell when they’re really hammered, and then you get their number and they don’t even remember who the hell you were the next day. Because they drank too much.

After a few dance rounds I took her back to 3 of her friends and chatted with them more. They were encouraging me to make a move on “Jessica” and even pushed her to me when I wouldn’t go to her. I offered her my hand, which she took, and said “let’s go somewhere quiet”. Now it was just the 2 of us. We sat down and the interaction was textbook. I was asking her questions she was enthusiastic to answer, she did most of the talking and I was teasing her a little in-between. She was laughing and when I invited her to come sit next to me she did. Then her friend “the clam slammer” found us and started complaining she can’t find the other 2 friends and that they need to go find them.

So now I would say more than likely this clam slammer. He probably didn’t have good enough rapport with her. Because the other girls could be looking over there, “You know what? She’s a little too drunk. We shouldn’t have pushed her onto that guy. We don’t want her waking up tomorrow, not remember what happened, or send her home with some random dude just because she’s drunk.” So that that could be possible, too. Even though they were encouraging her and they realized, “oh, wow, she’s really drunk. We need to go rescue her.” So this is where it’s important. If the girls really like you, like, oh, Bob’s fine. He’s really cool. He’ll take good care of her. If they feel comfortable with you, nothing will happen. But if they’re unsure, then that’s probably what you’re going to get. Is the friend coming over to pull them away. And it’s possible that the friend liked him too, and she didn’t like that her girlfriend was making headway, so she goes over there and blows it up. That’s also a possibility.

I told “Jessica” let’s exchange numbers in case we don’t see each other again. She did without hesitation.

Well, that was a smart thing to do. And, you know, I would have said, “hey, well, when you guys link up with your friends, come find me. We’ll have another drink. Round of drinks together or something.” And you extend that invitation and they can take it or leave it. They can take off. At least this way. You’ve got the girl’s number that you were interested in.

The weird part: After 15 minutes I went back to the dance floor. The girls showed up behind me with a guy, apparently also their friend. I waved to “Jessica” to come dance with me.

Well, if they come up behind you and there’s a new dude, I would have walked up to the dude and said, “hey, I’m Bob, what’s your name?” I was like, “oh yeah, I was talking to your girlfriends. They all seem like pretty cool group of girls. How do you guys know each other?” I’d just start asking questions because you’ve got to create rapport with the dude. So this is kind of shows where part of the mistake was you think, “oh, it’s a guy. He’s not really important.” Well, he’s part of the group. And so he didn’t take time to build rapport with the dude.

I waved to “Jessica” to come dance with me. She smiled but didn’t come.

So maybe this guy showing up is somebody that’s interested. Because he could have been just a friend, but he’s got the hots for Jessica, and so she kind of knows that this is just hypothetical. This could be one of the potential reasons why this thing is the way it is at this point. Because the guy’s there. Everybody knows the guy likes her. Maybe she’s not that into him, but she doesn’t want to make things awkward or weird. So when you wave her over, the reason she doesn’t come over, she doesn’t want the other dude that just showed up to feel awkward or rejected. So that’s just a little tidbit there. But the fact that she doesn’t come over to you, then that’s not a good sign. Obviously, that means she’s not super into it. So if it was me, I would move, you know, and you create rapport, but she’s still a cold fish. And I would just go hang out and dance with other people and just assume she’s really not that interested. Because again, he said she was kind of drunk.

She started dancing with someone else, so I invited her friends instead, but they also refused.

Yeah. What does that tell me? You’re already one of the things that they would say in the pickup and seduction community. It’s like if you approach a set, if you will. In other words, you don’t leave until you either get blown or you get blown out, and get blown out of the set. That’s basically what’s happening here. He’s getting blown out. They’re basically telling him to get lost. It’s like nobody has rapport with them. When did things change? Everything changed when this other guy showed up. So again, that might have been who knows, maybe the guy used to sleep with Jessica and she doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, but she doesn’t want to rub another dude in his face. You don’t really know what’s going on. The bottom line is, when the guy showed up, things changed, the vibe changed, and the girl became kind of distant. So I assume maybe there’s something going on or used to go on between them or one of the other girls in the group. We just don’t know.

I wasn’t bothered and went to do my own thing. After another 15 minutes I came across the girls and just wanted to say, “oh hey”.

So now he’s kind of lingering, you know, you already realize you’re no longer welcome there, so you never want to go where you’re tolerated. You want to go where you’re celebrated, where everybody’s like waving you over. But the fact you’re trying, you waved her over to dance with you and she ignores you. That’s just basically like, fuck off. And so when that happens, you’re no longer being celebrated. And so he should have walked away. He shouldn’t have walked back over there to say, oh, hey.

“The clam slammer” immediately hugged “Jessica” and wouldn’t let her go. I thought “Ok this is weird”.

So that’s definitely her friend is like, I’ve got to protect you from this guy that’s kind of creeping on you now. Even though they encouraged her, maybe because again, she was a little too drunk and they’re like, oh, you know, we can’t do this. We can’t send her home with this random dude.

It felt like the whole group became distant towards me.

Yeah, that had already happened. And you’re like just now realizing it.

Out of curiosity I tapped “Jessica” so she would look at me and then she immediately turned away like she didn’t want anything to do with me. Their guy friend also told me in that moment to leave them alone and go away. 

So yeah, see, that’s what happens. You don’t you don’t create rapport with the dude. Now he’s just like, you’re the annoying guy. Especially if he was sleeping with or wanted to sleep with one of those girls. Maybe the girl he was talking to, or he used to sleep with her. You just don’t know. But the bottom line is the vibe has completely changed.

What the fuck was that? What was my mistake here?

Well, I think I kind of covered it already.

Did I over pursue by saying “oh hey” when I saw them?

Yeah. Because by that point you had to have got picked up on the vibe that you weren’t really welcome, like you were before things changed when the dude was there. And if the dude was there again, you got to create rapport with him too. You’ve got to go, “hey”, you know, you go up and ask him his name, start asking him a questions. “How do you guys know each other?” And then you spend time focusing on him, not trying to talk to the girl who you like.

Was my vibe off at the end since I was tired? Do I delete her number? This was just discouraging.

Thank you.

Yeah, I would delete her number. The fact that she just turned and ignored you multiple times, it’s like whatever reason things changed. They didn’t want you around and you just got to pick up on that sooner. But you know, the take away from it is you did not make sure everybody in the group, I would say that the girl that was the clam slammer, you didn’t have enough rapport with her and you had zero rapport with the guy. So it probably would have gone completely different if the Clam Slammer really liked you and liked talking with you, they wouldn’t be bothered. She would encourage you to come with them or with her to look for their other friends while you hold hands with the other girl. But by that point it was already kaput. But I mean, at least you did it. So this is how you get better. You go, you make mistakes, you learn from mistakes. And then the next time around, you don’t repeat the same ones. So again, the long story short, the most important thing is you got to make sure everybody, the girl you like is really the last one that you spend time creating rapport with. You can joke and tease her, but it’s more important to get her friends and everybody that’s with her to like you and to trust you. And if you do that, then they’re not going to care with, you know, you taking off and going home with their girlfriend because they’ll be like, “oh, Bob’s a really awesome dude. He’s really cool. I wish her the best. We hope, hope it works out. They really seem to like each other.” And so they’ll be rooting for you and helping you. But you know, that’s really super important. If you don’t have the rapport, all it takes is one person in the group that can ruin it for you. Even if you had spent the rest of the night. Because, say, he had good rapport with all the girls, including the one he liked. And then the guy shows up and he completely neglects the guy. Well, if the guy doesn’t like him, he’s done with all the girls because they know him longer more than likely than obviously this guy.

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