How To Go From Being Friend Zoned To Her Asking To Come Over For Sex

How to go from being friend zoned to her asking to come over for sex.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer who got friend-zoned by a girl six months ago. He came across my work about two months ago and has read 3% Man six times so far. He applied what he learned from the book and shares how he changed his behavior and approach to the point she asked him to come over for sex and they finally hooked up.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I got a little email success story. This guy has only been following me for a couple of months, and before he found my work about six months ago, he started hanging out with a girl and promptly got friend-zoned. About two months ago, he came across my work and he’s read 3% Man.

For those of you that haven’t read this, it’s a good place to start. All these videos that I do like this that are free to the public are basically to help their case studies where guys are applying what’s in the book to their specific situation. The fundamentals are in the book and it’s free to read. If you haven’t gone to UnderstandingRelationships.com, just subscribe to the free email newsletter and the book will open up right in your web browser. It’s totally free and you can start learning the baseline fundamentals, which is what this guy did. Then when you see results to your satisfaction and you’re like, “Wow, this shit works,” then you can go buy an audio-book, a digital version, a paperback or hardcover, but start reading the book so you can learn the fundamentals. Don’t be a cherry picker. Don’t just try to watch videos and be lazy because you’ll get some attainable success, but it won’t be sustainable long term if you don’t learn the baseline fundamentals that these videos are based upon.

So in this particular email, he kind of shares what he did, what he said and the turn of events that led to him basically hooking up with this girl that had friend-zoned him. He also leaves in or sends us his text exchange. So I’ll go through that as well.

With that said, let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

Thank you so much for changing my life.

I’ve been following your work for the past month and a half and have read your book six times so far. Honestly, after the third read, I could really feel the shift in myself in not just the way I interact with women, but with the world in general. I will continue reading it so I don’t get complacent and continue to grow.

Well, the book is the cheat codes to life, basically. It shows you things that have always been happening, but you just didn’t know what to look for. If you understand how women operate they’re, quite frankly, as predictable as the sun coming up in the East and setting in the West. As a man to go from always kind of being bamboozled or not really understanding why or how women operate to being able to read them like a book is life changing, life enhancing, it makes you really confident, makes you really sure of yourself, and when things are going well in your personal life, it really helps you as a man to focus on your mission and your purpose. You just feel energized and you feel more ambitious and more sure of yourself because you get the personal side of your life handled, because one of the biggest things that cause dudes’ problems in life is their relationships with the women in their lives, or the women that they want to date or are trying to date or are involved in relationship with.

I wanted to share a quick success story about a girl who had given me the, “Let’s just be friends” speech about six months ago. This girl and I are part of the same spiritual group and when I first met her, without knowing it, I did things right by approaching her, asking for her number and setting a definite date.

Well, as I’ve said many times over the years, if you hesitate, you will masturbate. So if a woman’s interest is really high on you, if she knows you like her and you want to kiss her, but you kind of bitch out and give her a hug, she could tell that you didn’t have the courage to go for it. That’s OK, because if her interest is high, you can get away with it, but if she’s kind of marginal, she’s like, “Ehh, he’s kind of cute. I guess I’ll go out with him. I’ll see what happens,” and her interest is only like a five or a six on a scale of one to 10 that’s detailed in the book and the attraction table on the chapter, It’s All In The Numbers, if you’re saying a couple things, put your foot in your mouth or say some things that make you look unattractive and then at the end of the day, she can tell you really want to kiss her and then you just don’t go for it because you’re scared to go for it, oftentimes that’s enough to just get friend-zoned and for her to go and say, “I’m not feeling it.” If you go for it and her interest is low and you kiss her passionately, she’s like, “Huh?” She saw you had the confidence, you went for it, so she’s like, “Let’s see what happens,” and she’ll go out with you again.

It’s going to be a case-by-case basis with every woman, because some women are going to be really into you, and some of them it’ll just be better than staying home looking at the four walls. The goal with the book and these videos is to kind of stack the deck in your favor, to put yourself in the best possible position to get what it is you want and not talk, text and chase the girl out of liking you and dating you, which is what most guys experiences with women. Especially the women that they really like, because what happens when you encounter a girl you really like is you tend to treat her a little different, you’re a little extra nice, you’re a little extra compliant that you let her push you around a little bit. If her interest starts out low and you’re kind of a doormat and don’t really stand up for her or to her or you change your opinions to match hers, those kind of things, she starts to see that you’re kind of soft, and women want a guy that’s more masculine than they are. That’s just the bottom line.

Following our date, I didn’t go for the kiss and proceeded to call and text the next day.

A couple days later I got, “I don’t know where I can be right now, but can we be friends?”

Normally when you get that kind of a message, you say, “I like you. I’m not looking for a pal or a friend, but I’d like to continue seeing you and just see what happens, but I’m not interested in just friendship only.” That should be your response. Then you see what she says. If she’s like “OK,” or she’s adamant that she wants friends only, you just say, “Hey, no problem. Let me know if you change your mind, but I’m not interested in just being friends.”

To which I stupidly agreed.

A lot of guys do that and they think, “OK well, once she gets to know me and sees how I am, then she’ll go, ‘Oh wow, I should really date this guy,'” but that’s not how it works. Women like you more if you’re successful with other women, and guys that are successful with other women have choices, they’re just not going to wait around. If you’re trying to friend-zone a guy and he’s interested in sex and romance, if you basically deny him and say you’re not interested in that and you just want to be pals or buddies, he’s like, “Yeah, that’s kind of a waste of my time. I want to find a girl that’s really into me, a woman that would jump fences to be with me.” Not a chick that’s kind of sitting on the fence or going, “Ehh.” You want a girl that makes the effort.

Speaking of which, Ocean just jumped out of my lap a few minutes into the video, and now she’s going to roam around and let’s see, she’ll probably come back, and when I keep talking, she’ll start whining and she’ll whine louder and longer the more I ignore her. It’s just a metaphor for how women are. Indifference is a difference. That makes a difference with the ladies, and you’re going to see that later in the email here. You don’t want to get mad. You don’t want to get butt-hurt. Masculinity is calm. Feminine energy is chaos. It can’t sit still.

Have you ever been to a movie theater with your girl, you’re on a date and you notice there’s a bunch of teenage girls there watching a movie, there’s like five or six of them in a group? What you notice is like every 10 or 15 minutes, one or two of them is getting up to go to the bathroom to go out to text or to talk and they’re just up and down the whole fucking movie and half the movie they don’t even watch it because they’re talking, but us dudes, we want to watch the movie, right? So back to our regularly scheduled email.

See how that works? You just don’t pay attention to her, she gets a little fussier. Women are the same way. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. That’s just the bottom line. You have to use that to your advantage. It’s not to be manipulative to women, but it’s to continue to be focused. Like I’m focused on trying to make a video, despite the fact that she likes to cause a little bit of drama when she comes back like, “Hey, I’m back, the Red sea should part for me. Stop what you’re doing, Corey, and pay attention!” It’s kind of the way women are. Like, you’re watching TV and your girl comes up. She goes, “Oh honey, look, I got my nails done. What do you think?” And you’re like, “Get the hell out of the way. A good play about to happen.” She’s going to take that as rejection. She’s going to be upset with you, but if you’re like, “Oh babe, those look amazing. After the game is over, you’re gonna have to rub those up and down my back, or maybe you can start doing it right now. We’ll put the game on pause.”

You have to acknowledge her. She’ll be happy. She’ll be excited. Just like she’s happy. Now she’s laying next to me, and probably in a few minutes she’ll get up and she’ll go roam around. Then she’ll come back and bark at me when I don’t pay attention to her. It’s just the way they work. It’s just feminine energy. It’s how it is. Feminine energy is designed to get the attention of masculine energy, and when you act too much like a girl trying to get a girl’s attention, you’re acting like another chick. She wants masculine energy, and you’re bringing her feminine energy. That’s why it turns women off. Especially when their interest isn’t super high to start off with, but it’s an aphrodisiac when it’s your inaction and you don’t become uncentered, you don’t become bothered, you don’t become butt-hurt. I didn’t chase after Ocean and grab her and say, “Hey, we’re filming a movie. We’re filming a video. Get back up here.” Just let her go. You’re not bothered by it. She can stay. She can go. You’re cool with it either way. It’s important to understand that because you’re going to see that later on in the email here.

Fast forward after finding your work I stopped reaching out and when I would see her at our group, I would not sit with her and sit alone, leaning back in my chair with my legs spread out.

That’s something that I talk about in the book. He’s taking up too much space. If you’re a man and you’re the king of your kingdom, plus we have balls, when you see a man sitting with his legs crossed like a chick does, like I don’t know how guys can do that. That just crushes your balls, but maybe it’s because they got small balls. It doesn’t look manly when you see a dude sitting there with his legs crossed like a chick does. It’s very unmasculine. Guys typically when we cross our legs to keep from having your balls smashed is that you’ll put your heel, your ankle on your other knee so you’ve got plenty of space for your balls to breathe.

Anyways, he’s leaning back, it’s relaxed, his chest is out, his head is back, his shoulders are rolled back, he’s very relaxed, he’s very chilled, he’s taken up too much space, he acts like he owns the place. That’s what masculine energy is. He’s not chasing her. He realized, “Oh, this is getting me nowhere,” because it looks like he continued to text and talk to her because again, he agreed to be stuck in friend zone. As soon as he stopped paying attention to her, just like when Ocean left and did her thing and then came back, I kept talking until she started making a fuss to get me to pay attention to her. It’s just how women are, but it’s so predictable. Once you understand that, it’s like, “Oh, they’re really easy to understand. They’re very predictable.” So he’s leaning back in his chair with his legs spread out.

After the second time I did this, she came up to me at the end of the meeting and proceeded to talk my ear off while I just nodded and asked simple questions.

She did most of the talking. Women tend to say about 8,000 words a day, and us guys tend to say around 2,000.

After a few minutes of this, I cut the conversation and said…

The other thing I love about what he does here is that it’s much more masculine to say, “Hey, we should get together for a drink sometime,” or, “Hey, we should grab something to eat.” In other words, you’re doing this, “Hey, you should join me,” or “Hey, I’m doing this if you care to join me,” instead of, “Would you like to have a drink with me? Would you like to have a date? Would you like to hang out sometime? Do you want to hang out with me sometime?” What sounds more masculine and confident? The one that says, “Hey, I’m going this direction. It’d be great if you could join,” versus, “Hey, do you want to hang out with me?”

So notice what he says.

“…I’m going to go get a burger if you want to join.” She quickly agreed and asked if I was driving or meeting her there. I replied jokingly and said, “Get in the car loser.”

I love that. That’s great. It’s like kind of teasing her like the bratty little sister. It shows that he’s being playful. He’s not shocked by her beauty, he’s not shocked that now all of a sudden she seems to be showing him some interest. Whereas before it was just platonic and he’s trying to get her attention and validation when he completely shifted and changed everything. Why would a guy do that? Well, if a guy’s getting laid by somebody else and he’s content with the feminine energy that he’s getting in his life, he’s no longer going to pay attention to a girl that friend-zoned him and is trying to give him blue balls. He’s got his legs spread out, he’s happy, his life is great, he’s got plenty of feminine energy, he doesn’t need it. He looks like a guy that’s content instead of a guy that he used to be, which was seeking her attention and validation. He acted masculine, and it’s just like a light switch, completely changed your attitude. Now she’s unsure of herself.

Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. This is one of the ways he showed that he stopped calling her, he stopped contacting her. He didn’t go near her when he saw her. He just went and did his own thing and he behaved as a man who probably was hooking up with somebody else and was no longer interested. So as soon as he became uninterested or disinterested, she started going, “Did he meet somebody else? Does he have a girlfriend now? Does he not like me? Did I upset him? What’s going on? I’m unsure of myself. I kind of like it.” It’s just whatever goes on, but that’s kind of the process that happens internally, and you’re not really doing anything, you’re just acting like a man. If this girl is like, “Hey, how about friendship and blue balls?” You’re like, “Yeah, no thanks. I’m going to go talk to other girls. I’m going to go hang out with other girls. I’m not going to waste my time with the girls trying to friend-zone me.”

After we ate and I was about to drop her off…

Because he’s trying to end the date.

…She asked, “Can we hang out in your car and listen to music for a little? I don’t want to go home yet.” I said, “That’s cool” and we proceeded to make out for a bit (Heavy petting included).

The other thing to keep in mind is, if you’re looking at 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, when you’re in this situation, she’s friend-zoned you, she comes to you and it seems like she’s interested, you invite her to join you, but you’re not going to call, you’re not going to text, you’re not going to re-engage and pursue, because you already did that and you were stuck in friend zone. So it’s much better if a woman thinks that she’s way more into you than you are into her. Just notice a complete attitude change that she’s had. She’s unsure of herself and she’s trying to get him to pay attention, so she puts herself into his orbit by coming over. She typically is not going to ask you out like she did in this case, he invited her to join, and then he was ready to end the date, but she wanted it to continue because she likes spending time with him. She’s feeling attraction. It’s just a subtle differences that makes the whole difference here.

This happened on a Sunday and she proceeded to ask if she could come over on Tuesday at 1 p.m. to hook up. I usually wouldn’t agree to meet during the day but since she was blunt about wanting to come over for sex, I agreed.

Yeah, at the end of the day, if it’s her idea, like I talk about in the book, you don’t do lunch dates or anything like that. You don’t do brunches, especially if you’re trying to seduce a girl, but in this case, she’s very blunt and wants to come over and hook up for sex.

I said, “Yeah, Tuesday works for me” and dropped her off. She texted me a few minutes after I got home and I kept it brief and said I had to go to sleep. She gave me some light testing the next day which I believe I passed with flying colors and have attached below:

So Ocean just jumped down again and she’s going to go check things out. Roam the neighborhood a little bit like a kitty cat, and then come back and cry when I don’t really pay attention to her.

Jessica: “Did you make it home?”

Bob: “Yeah, you?”

Jessica: “Yes. That was hot. Hope we get to hang Tuesday.”

Bob: “Agreed. But just come over at one on Tuesday. No hoping.”

Jessica: “Down.”

Bob: “Cool. See you there. I’m gonna knock out. I have work early. Good night.”

Jessica: “Goodnight.”

The next text I got was her saying she was on her way over Tuesday afternoon and we had two consecutive sessions of the indoor Olympics. The following Tuesday, she came over for a replay. Thank you so much for all of the info you so freely give. I’m a better man because of it.

Best,

Bob

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