The key to having effortless relationships is to make sure before you get into a relationship, that you know exactly what you want in a woman, and to never settle until you find someone who is exactly what you want.
The worst mindset a man or a woman can have about the opposite sex, is a scarcity mindset. I’m talking about the kind of mindset that is so focused on this one imaginary perfect person, that it causes people to become paranoid and act from a place of weakness and fear of loss. Here’s the deal. There will be an unlimited supply of great candidates to practice your pickup, dating and relationship skills on. Not only must you become okay with failing and getting rejected, you must expect it.
Most people stay in relationships a lot longer than they should. Why? They are too afraid to leave, and scared they will never find someone as good or better if they jump back into the world of being single. The bottom line: if someone is not exactly what you want or they don’t treat you the way you want to be treated, even after you’ve lovingly communicated how you want to be treated, then you have three options: 1) You can either love and accept them as they are and the fact they are unwilling to love you and support you in the way you need to be loved and supported; 2) you can try to change them and be upset that they are not different than they are, and therefore suffer; 3) or you can leave the relationship and resolve not to settle until you find someone who meets your needs and whose needs you meet.
When a man starts to undertake the work he needs to do on himself to improve his skills and success with women, he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know; or what he hasn’t experienced yet. Here’s what happens when a man starts to be able to meet, seduce, date and have relationships with the type of women who always used to reject him in the past: at first he sleeps with lots of different women, but as his skills develop and the quality of the women he’s able to attract improves, he’ll usually become much pickier and sleep with less women. Another strange thing starts to happen as well. The more successful he becomes with women, the more he realizes how aggressive women really are towards him because of his confidence and all is well demeanor. Some guys don’t believe me when I tell them that women will chase and pursue them if they treat them properly. These guys are so used to chasing and running after women who have little to no interest in them at all, that they’ve never created the space, nor demonstrated through their actions, body language and physiology that they are a catch for women to notice & respond to them in that way. Women can sense, see and feel the presence of a masculine alpha male. All feminine women respond positively when they are in the presence of a strong dominant masculine alpha male. But to a guy who has never felt or experienced what that is like, he must build up to it. It gets easier as his confidence grows. Repetition is the mother of skill.
Let me give you an example. Yesterday as I was walking into Whole Foods, I made eye contact with an attractive woman who had an amazing body. She went in through the exit doors. I went in through the entrance. A few minutes later she was in the vegetable department where I was loading my shopping cart up with the green vegetables I use to make the green juice I talked about in my article “rediscovered: the fountain of youth.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see the same woman making her way with her cart over to where I am. I continue loading my cart up. About a minute later once she’s close, she comes right over and starts asking me about some of the items in my shopping cart. She asks advice about what she should juice. The eye contact between us is intense. Physically she’s pushing about 90% of my attraction buttons. There is an invisible connection between us. Now 10 years ago, I would have made a date on the spot with her and later fucked her brains out. But internally I could feel that even though there was a strong connection and attraction between us, that she didn’t do it for me completely. However, I enjoyed her sexy femininity and the fact she was so confident and came right over to me to ask for my advice; which is a sign of interest. She’s making it easy for me to ask her out. We kept bumping into each other as we both shopped. As I was finished loading my cart, I turned the corner and right into the only line that was short. Guess who’s in front of me? Yup. She was. I walked right over and started unloading my shopping cart onto the conveyor belt. Again she walked over and pointed to something I was buying while asking a question. She was trying to initiate conversation to make it easy for me to take action. Women help you when they like you.
Even though I did not take advantage of that opportunity that was thrown in my lap, it made me feel grateful the whole rest of the afternoon. It was more than just a physical connection between her and I. There was an invisible spiritual connection. When you are ready and the moment is right, you will meet that next great love of your life if you’re single and looking. I found that there are no accidents in life. Everything is divinely orchestrated. When the person is right for you, and you are right for them, you will feel it in your heart. There will be no doubt or hesitation. Inside, every fiber of your being will be vibrating with a presence and a knowing that screams internally, “This is exactly who I’ve been waiting for! No doubts!” So until that moment happens, be grateful for all the beautiful women who God puts in your path to help you become the man you are capable of becoming. Live with gratitude, and more of what you are grateful for will show up in your life.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“We will act consistently with our view of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not.” ~ Tony Robbins