You must be consistent with women. You must treat all women the same way. You can’t show up as one guy with one woman, and then act totally different with a different woman. You must show up as your authentic self with the understanding that not all women that you like are going to feel the same way about you. Your expectations should be that they all want you. If a woman rejects you, then you feel it’s her loss. She has no idea what she just missed out on.
If you have had a previous relationship where you trained a woman to treat you badly and to lose respect for you as a man, the longer you did this for (before you became enlightened about women by reading my book), the harder it will be to get her to treat you differently. Why? Because you have conditioned her how to think, feel and act around you. It’s always easier to start with someone new and do everything right from the beginning. That way you will condition and train her to give you what you want, and treat you how you want to be treated. Why would a woman do this? Because she respects you. She values having you in her life. She sees you as the prize and a catch. Therefore, she does not want to do anything to cause you to lose interest in her and choose somebody else.
If a woman does not respect you, she will walk all over you and it will be impossible for her to fall in love with you. Women must know that if they push you too far, you will walk and never look back. If you let a woman walk all over you, then she has no fear of loss and therefore will not care for you very much. Why? Because you have no self respect. You allow her to abuse you and mistreat you, and she knows you always will sit there and take it. Women who do not respect you, do not trust your masculine core, and therefore, will not feel sexual attraction for you.
The following is an e-mail I got from one of my phone coaching clients. He was dating and sleeping with a recently divorced and beautiful younger woman. This was before he read my book. He was her butler. He always did what she wanted. He was always at her beckon call. When she texted him before I started coaching him, he would drop everything he was doing to respond. After a few months of this, she told him she was confused because another one of her male friends had confessed he was in love with her. So she told my client she could no longer sleep with him until she figured things out. His mistake was, he went along with this. Now she is sleeping with this other guy. My client is getting laid on a regular basis by lots of really beautiful and drama free women, but his ego still wants what he lost. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Been doing pretty well since the last time we chatted, look forward to it again (Me too bro! I always enjoy our phone coaching sessions.). However, as you know, I’ve got at least one maybe 2 women that I spend time with who I knew and made mistakes with BEFORE I read your book. And so, as we discussed, trying to fix that is proving to be difficult (Yup, you spent a lot of time training this woman that it was okay to walk all over you.). My question surrounds how to rebound from a mistake, or a series of mistakes. (The simple answer is, don’t make any new mistakes. Only treat her properly from now on.) Sometimes its not as easy as it seems. In my case, I was dating, or thought I was dating this one woman for a couple of weeks and kind of got the “I’m not ready for this” speech (That is because you did not make her feel safe and comfortable. You gave her too many reasons to doubt your masculine core. You conditioned her to feel a certain way about you. Women will usually not remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel. You spent a lot of time making her feel like you were a weak man. You have set her expectations of you to be low. She decided that she wants you as her male girlfriend. At least initially, you went along with this. Now that you have changed the rules and changed how you have been showing up, she gets pissed off and upset with you. This is how a lot of women act to get men to go along with what they want. Just about every TV sitcom, movie and commercial portrays men being afraid of pissing women off. The men always act submissive in this garbage entertainment. Over many decades, this conditions people’s expectations of relationships and what is acceptable behavior in them. It’s totally dysfunctional. Kill your TV!).
As I said, this was before your book so I did the 97% method of just “hanging out” and being friends (You acted like her butler, her therapist and male girlfriend. Therefore, that is what you became and what she considers you.). Since reading your book, its kind of been a power struggle of sorts. We both got into the habit (No, you trained her to do that.) of dozens if not more, texts per day, updates on what we were doing, etc., if we weren’t together. We also got into the habit of just “meeting” at a local place for drinks. You can probably see where this is going (You did friend activities instead of creating romantic opportunities for sex to happen. A.K.A “dates”. Alpha males know what they want and pursue it relentlessly. They are not interested in going along with other peoples agenda. They make the agenda. If you’re not interested in their agenda, then they will find people who are.).
As I continue to kind of “pull back” so to speak, it gets increasingly hostile. (Stop right there. Your life should be a drama free zone. When a woman becomes hostile, tell her to call you back when she calms down and is ready to communicate with you in a mature way. If you put up with it, then you are enabling her jackassery and deserve what you get.) If I don’t engage in the constant texts, I get “R U Alright?” “Whats wrong?” and the answer is always the same thing, I’m fine. (Dude, you’re a busy attorney. You don’t have time for a needy jackass blowing up your phone when you are busy working. Especially when it is a woman who is sleeping with someone else.) But, fact of the matter is, I’m not really fine, I want to explain that this is a natural result of her not wanting a relationship and I’m not going to be some “on call” guy… Deep down I know that’s the wrong thing to do, because it shows some sort of weakness and loss of center, but I’m big into communication and it just feels like I’m not being honest.(You are trying to force something to happen with this girl. Keep it simple. Next time she texts you, respond with “Are you coming over to seduce me tonight?” When she responds “no”, then simply text back “Text me when you are ready to come over and fuck my brains out. I want you, but I don’t want a love triangle or to be your male girlfriend. I only want to hear from you if you are going to give me what I want. Otherwise, I do not want to hear from you again. My life is a drama free zone. Please respect my wishes.” You are continuing to go along with her agenda. You are still seeking her approval. As long as you continue to give her what she wants, she is going to continue to sleep with this other guy and you are going to give yourself blue balls.) And so, what I’ve done is to simply answer questions that I feel are needed via text, not immediately, but certainly not be rude, and turn all invitations to meet at the bar, down.
I guess that is all I can do until she figures out what it is she wants (She will dump and drop this other guy when you stop acting weak. Stand your ground and stop looking for excuses to compromise your principles. Either she gives you what you want, or you walk. End of story.). Luckily I have plenty going on in my life, and I can occupy my time accordingly. However, sometimes its tough when you have created that habit of constantly talking to someone via text, to just put the damned phone away and ignore it (You want what you can’t have because it’s a challenge. It probably also fulfills a limiting belief of yours that you don’t deserve to get what you really want. Being involved with this other chick who is sleeping with another guy, allows you to experience your limiting belief as real and therefore, a self fulfilling prophecy; when it’s simply bullshit.).
Thanks again Corey.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When you meet someone who’s soul isn’t aligned with yours… send them love and move on.”-Dr. Wayne Dyer