How To Make Her Want You Instead Of Wasting Your Time

How to make sure she submits so you can seduce her instead of jerking you around.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who had a girl show back up for cuffing season after blowing him off years ago for another guy. He used 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, but she canceled the date with a bad attitude. He wonders if he did things right because he hasn’t heard from her since.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Make Her Want You Instead Of Wasting Your Time”.

Well, looks like we got another cuffing season candidate here. Women tend to come out of the woodwork this time of the year when they’re single. The holidays are approaching. They want to have somebody to take home to their family or their parents. And so what most guys seem to notice is like girls that disappeared years ago, or maybe they were dating somebody who was dating other guys, and they got back together with the ex, or they chose somebody else.

Like in this case, this guy said he was dating this girl for a bit, and then she met another guy, or she got serious with another guy and just totally ghosted him. And so he hadn’t heard from her in years. She shows back up and he’s been following me for about 15 years, so he knows pretty well 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. So the thing to keep in mind is she just totally ghosted this guy, which is very rude, very disrespectful, not even an explanation. He just knows that she ended up getting serious with some other dude.

And so she shows back up because obviously we’re in cuffing season. And he had heard through the grapevine that I guess she broke up with that guy she was with about two years ago. So he makes a date. She kind of balks at it a little bit to come over to his place. He doesn’t really handle things 100% the way I would handle them or say things the way I would have said them. But what you’re going to see is she’s kind of got a bad attitude.

And the reason why everything’s laid out the way it is in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back is so you don’t get a girl showing up who’s trying to make you part of her Frankenstein Boyfriend Project, keep you stuck in friend zone. And at the end of the day, especially in this case, if a girl blows you off and ghosts you and gets serious with somebody else and doesn’t even have the decency to tell you. And then years later, she shows back up, expecting you to meet her out and take her to drinks and stuff like that.

But your attitude should be, you’re interested in sex and romance, and you’re willing to give her another chance to earn you. In other words, you want her to earn another chance with you, not the other way around. And when a girl ghosts you and blows you off and get serious with somebody else and doesn’t even tell you and then shows back up, you should not be so willing to jump through your butt to please her and be with her. So she begrudgingly agrees to come over and make dinner. But she’s got a shitty attitude about it.

And remember, what do I always say when a girl who’s easygoing, easy to get along with and she’s got to be nice to you and this girl is none of those. Remember, this is a girl that ghosted him and blew him off. And so the reason why things are laid out, the way they’re laid out in the Article and Video is 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back is to prevent women like this from wasting your time, and make sure she actually is interested in you romantically and is not just using you for attention or validation, or in some cases, trying to make another guy jealous.

So we want to see that she’s willing to submit. She’s flexible, submissive, goes along with what you want, instead of being a difficult pain in the ass, which quite frankly, that’s what this girl is doing. And so this guy is like, “Did I do everything right?” So this is what happens when a woman shows up. And again, this is why 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back is laid out the way it is. And you have the responses that are laid out in case she has some objections. Because again, you’re doing her a favor. You’re giving her the opportunity to have potentially another chance with you.

Because quite frankly, the last time around, she didn’t treat you too well. So the other thing is like when guys always consistently put themselves last, it just shows that they don’t have a very high respect for themselves. Because the greatest gift you can give anybody is the gift of your time. When a girl shows back up years later, who blew you off and ghosted you and got serious with somebody else, and she expects you to meet her out and take her to dinner and go to drinks and do all those things. It’s like, “Nah. Nah.”

Because the reason why one will do that is so she can get attention, but it’s a way to cock block you. In other words, if she’s not really serious about sex and romance, she’s gonna try to get you to take her out and do things, meet her on neutral ground, that kind of crap. And so again, 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back has an excuse that you give her, which works great because this causes a woman to submit and go along with your agenda and let you be in charge like you should be. Or to be a boss girl pain in the ass and she can go on down the fucking road.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I am a loyal follower of pushing 15 years.

Well, thanks for sticking around, dude.

And have read the book 25 times. An order to keep the email short I will keep the backstory brief. Casually dated a girl years ago who ghosted me for another guy. 

I mean, that’s just fucking rude. I mean, you were willing to answer her message, but it has to be on your terms. You’re not going to tolerate any kind of fuckery or any kind of getting jerked around. You want, “Hell yeah!” And a good attitude if you’re going to give a girl another chance who treated you this way, it’s got to be on your terms, or she can go on down the road.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I hear from her not with a hey but with a question asking me about my thoughts on creatine. 

Well, she’s not really asking about creatine. What she really wants to see is, “is this guy still interested? Could he potentially be a guy to hang out with and date?” And if she didn’t think highly enough of you in the past, she just ghosted you, and ignored you and blew you off, and ran off with some other dude. That already knows she doesn’t really respect you and doesn’t value you as a man.

And when you love yourself and you value yourself, you’re like, “Yeah, I’m not going to just put myself out there so I can get bamboozled and taken advantage of.” Again this girl ghosted him. So you’re willing to give her a chance, but it’s got to be on your terms. And if she doesn’t want to, it’s got to be win-win or no deal.

A mutual friend told me her boyfriend broke up with her early summer. 

The holidays are coming around. She’s trying to see who’s out there. And there’s probably other guys she got back in touch with as well that she may have liked more or are more attracted to. And so if she’s more attracted, she’s going to be more flexible. If her attraction is low, she’s going to kind of do what this girl did. Again, remember she blew him off and ghosted him years ago. So anyway, she asks about the creatine.

Proceeded to ask her when she was free to get together and got a dodgy response about being busy.

So if you’re not getting a “Hell yeah! I’d love to see you.” That’s her way of going. “Oh, he is interested still. Oh, okay. I can go out with this guy.” That’s her attitude. But when she says she’s busy, that means she’s not really open, ready, willing, able and open to making a date with him. She’s just trying to see if he’s still potentially interested. He’s one of the prospects that she’s talking to. Again, you want to be a priority, not some, “Oh well, okay, now I know you’re still interested, so I’m busy.”

A week later I get a text from her On Tuesday night asking if I would like to go out for a drink Friday when she gets out of work at 8. I responded with, “It is going to be a long week for me I would rather hang at my place, if that doesn’t work for you maybe I will be up for something more formal next week.” 

How you should phrase it would be, “I’d love to see you, but it’s been a long week. I’m just in the mood to hang at my place. Why don’t you come over here? Send me your address. 8:00 and we can have a few drinks and catch up. Be great to see you.” That’s how you should respond. But if she’s balking at that. And then again, you say, “Well, it’s been a long week. I’m just moved to hang at my place. If you don’t want to come over, then give me a call in a couple of weeks and maybe I’ll be up for meeting you out then.”

So it sounds like he’s putting that statement out there because again, she says, “Hey, why don’t we meet for a drink?” He’s like, “I’d love to meet you for a drink, but, you know, why don’t we just get together at my place and catch up? I haven’t seen you in years. I’d just like to have a drink at my place.” Then she goes, “Oh, well, let’s meet out. Let’s do that instead. I like to go out and do things.” Which you’ll see some of her responses. He gives the exchange here so we can go through that as well.

But I wouldn’t have responded with that right at that point, because what you’re trying to do is you’re trying to make the plans, and you’re trying to get her to come to your place to make dinner together. But in this case, she actually asks him out, which 99% of the time women won’t do that. She offers a drink. So I would say, “Hey, why don’t we have a drink at my place?” And then if she’s like, “Well, no, I’d rather meet out at this place or I’d rather go to dinner.”

Then you hit her with the, “Hey, it’s been a long week. I’m just in the mood to hang at my place. If you don’t want to come over and have a drink here and catch up, then give me a call in a couple of weeks. And, you know, maybe I’ll be up for meeting you out then.” That should have been what happened. But he kind of didn’t really handle it right. He kind of did things a little out of sequence, but he probably got tripped up a little bit because she was asking him out, which is, again, most women don’t do those things. I would have just countered with her coming to your place to make dinner. So again, let me read what.

“It is going to be a long week for me I would rather hang at my place, if that doesn’t work for you maybe I will be up for something more formal next week.”

Again, that was out of sequence. He shouldn’t have said that. He should have just said, “Hey. Well, I haven’t seen you in a while. Why don’t we just get together at my place and have a drink here and we can catch up? I’d love to see you.” And she goes, “Oh, I’d rather meet out. I’d rather do this.” Like than that’s when you hit her with, “Hey, it’s been a long week. I’m just in the mood to hang at my place. If you want to come over and have a drink and catch up, then hit me up in a couple of weeks and maybe I’ll be up for meeting you out then.”

The following is the rest of the text exchange.

She says, “Next week is pretty chaotic, Tues-Wed I’ll be out of town for training, Thursday I have plans with coworkers.  You can’t just meet me for one drink? LOL”

So again, this is part of testing. Because remember she ghosted you, so we know she doesn’t respect you. She assumes you’ll just fold like a cheap deck chair, which probably that’s why I’m assuming, maybe that’s why she blew him off in the first place. Maybe he wasn’t didn’t really know the book that well. But again, from this response here you can show her interest is low.

He says, “Get in touch with me if you change your mind.”

She says, “Oh dear god, we can hang out at your place I guess, but why don’t you want to go out? LOL”.

That’s when I would have said, “Look, it’s been a long week. I’d love to see you, but I’m just in the mood to hang at my place and have a few drinks and catch up. If that doesn’t work for you. Hit me up in a few weeks and maybe we can meet up then.”

Another text 5 minutes later.

She says, “You do know I like to go out and do things, right?”

So again, this is part of negotiation. You either convince her why she should do what you want, or she convinces you why you should do what she wants. And again, why is this woman being so difficult? Because her interest isn’t that high. Remember she ghosted him and blew him off. You don’t get what you deserve in life. You only get what you negotiate. A woman with super high interest would just, she would have made the date. And it would have been a non-issue.

And so again, the statement of, “Hey, it’s been a long week. I’m just in the mood to hang at my place. If you don’t want to come over, then give me a call a couple weeks and maybe I’ll be up for meeting you out then.” That’s the response you give when they balk at the invitation to come to your place. So it looks like he didn’t actually do it that way. He gave her the excuse instead of inviting her first and letting her basically say, “Oh, I’d rather meet out.”

Again why do we ask this? Because we want to see, is she flexible? Is she submissive? Is she going to be nice? Is she going to go along with what I want? Or is she going to be a fucking pain in the ass? She’s just trying to waste my time to get me to go out and spend money and drinks with her, because she’s fucking lonely or whatever. It’s like, again, this girl blew you off, have some self-respect, dude. Greatest gift you can give anybody is a gift of your time. And this girl’s copping a fucking attitude. You haven’t heard from her in years, and she’s got an attitude. It’s like, that’s not what you want to hear.

He says, “Of course, but for now I look forward to you coming over Friday.”

I would have just said, “Of course, but again, it’s been a long week, and I’d love to see you and catch up, but I don’t feel like going out and doing all that stuff. I’m just in the mood to hang here.”

In the days that followed I did not reach out to her at all nor hear from her. Friday morning she sends me a text at 9am.

She says, “Hey so I know you really want to hang out at your place but I don’t feel comfortable doing that and it’s my thing on Friday after work to go get a drink so I’d prefer That, if you change your mind, get in touch with me.”

I would have just said again, “Like I said, it’s been a really long week. I’d love to see you. If you don’t want to come over and have a drink or two, again, I haven’t heard from you in years. So hit me up in a few weeks if you change your mind. Maybe I’ll be up for meeting you out then.” And again, you’re never going to do it because you want to see her throw in the towel, come over, agree to have a drink or make dinner at your place, that kind of thing. That’s it.

He says, “Well I thought we had plans at my place and thought your message was going to say looking forward to it. Have a good night.”

She says, “Well I told you my proposal and I actually didn’t appreciate your comment ‘get in touch with me if you change your mind’ so it turned me off. Sorry.”

Remember, this girl blew him off.

I did not respond to that and haven’t heard anything since. Though it has only been a day as of the time sending this email. My question is, did I handle this the right way? 

Well, no. I would have handled it differently. Things were a little out of sequence. Again, if you have a girl show up like this after cuffing season, before you respond watch the Video 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and read the Article because this stuff is laid out. And so he may have read the book 25 times, but in this particular instance, it looks like he was a little hazy on 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and put his foot in his mouth. But again, the main issue is she wasn’t willing to go along with it, and she copped a fucking attitude. It’s like, we don’t want attitude.

We want easygoing, easy to get along. We want, “Yes, daddy, I’d love to see you. It’d be great to catch up.” That’s what you want; a woman with a good attitude and she’s a fucking cunt. She’s a bitch. Why would you want to hang out with a girls who’s a fucking bitch who disrespected you years ago, and she shows up and she’s disrespecting you again? You made plans on Friday night, and now she just blew you off in the morning. So the only way I would ever try to make plans with her again is she has to bring it up.

If she reaches out. “Hey, what are you doing?” Or if she asks about creatine again, give her the answer about creatine, but don’t bring up getting together or anything. If she brings it up, just say, “You know, work’s been real crazy lately. I’d be down to meet up for a drink at my place, maybe make dinner together. Hit me up in a few weeks. You know, maybe things will be calmed down then and we can meet out.” That would be my attitude.

Her reverse takeaway I did not anticipate I assumed she would either follow through or cancel altogether. I understand from her perspective she may want to ease back into things before coming over.

Fuck her. She ghosted you. You were dating for a while. I assume you were sleeping together, so she’s probably been to your place, or at least a previous place that you had. So bottom line is, she’s got a bad fucking attitude, so it doesn’t fucking matter.

But I thought considering how she left me to dust for another guy that 7 principles was the right approach.

It was. But again, you kind of fumbled the football a little bit.

Should I have responded with something else to her very last text? 

Nope.

I will now go back into no contact but interested in your thoughts.

Again, the likelihood that she was going to follow through and treat you properly was low to begin with again, because she just dusted you for another guy, as you said. I mean, under most circumstances, if a girl does that, you’d probably blow her off. You wouldn’t even respond.

I wanted to follow up on my email yesterday as I thought of it a bit more. I realize I may have fumbled setting a “definite date” with the first exchange ending with me saying “look forward to you coming over Friday.” However, in her initial invitation she mentioned an exact time of 8 so I didn’t think it was necessary. I honestly think the outcome would have ended up the same anyways.

Thanks,

Bob

Yeah, exactly. Because again, we don’t see any flexibility. We don’t see any willingness to be submissive and go along with what you want. She’s not trying to make it up for the fact that she blew you off for another guy. And again, that’s why you’re not going to go out and spend money on her because she dicked you over years ago. So you’re willing to hear her out. You’re willing to hang out and have some drinks at your place. If she doesn’t feel comfortable coming over, well, she can go fuck herself. She blew you off. And again, you still made a date with her, she accepted it.

And what did she do? She canceled. So I would never bring up getting together unless she does. Unless she invites you to do something, and I’d take my time. But the reality of this going anywhere is low. But you may hear from her in a week or two because it roughed up her ego a little bit. Because you probably stood up for yourself, unlike the last time when you were involved with her. So again, this is cuffing season, so you should expect these girls to come back or start coming back. They come out of the woodwork this time of year. Sometimes they’re girls you haven’t heard from in a few years.

And again, this woman was in a relationship up until just a few months ago (years) at the end of the summer. So she’s looking to see who’s out there. And because her interest in you is low, like it was the last time she blew you off. That’s why she wasn’t flexible and willing to do what you wanted. Probably because she had somebody else that was willing to jump through their butt and do what she wanted, take her out, buy her drinks, spend time out to dinner with her, you know, whatever it happened to be. So it’s possible there’s a 50/50 shot she reaches back out, but at the end of the day, you still did the right thing.

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