How To Understand The Female Mind

How you can finally understand the female mind, so you can have easy and effortless relationships with your dream woman.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different email success stories from two different viewers who are previous coaching clients of mine. The first email is from a guy I coached late last year who got dumped by his highly educated Russian alpha female girlfriend. He shares how he got her back and that things are better than ever between them.

The second email is a success story from a guy I coached at the beginning of this year. After our coaching session, he dumped his toxic girlfriend and shortly thereafter met a woman who is now his wife, and she is eight weeks pregnant with their first child. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

Greetings and hope you continue to be crazy successful. We spoke December of 2019, and the advice you provided that day and have provided through your work has been spot on. 

Well, I might not always be right, but I’m never wrong.

At the time, the woman I was dating had broken up with me for the second time. She is a highly educated and beautiful Russian woman, so I knew I had a challenge on my hands.

Yeah, Russian women tend to be very feminine, very strong willed and they don’t like weak ass men. They’re disgusted and repulsed by them. They don’t put up with beta males at all.

Yet, following your advice, I approached each breakup with the calmness and sense of abundance that any alpha male would be proud of. Also following your advice, I used the no contact rules and when she finally contacted me on Thanksgiving to wish me a good holiday, I assumed that it was her way of asking to see me. So, I made a date, which as predictable, was delayed.

This is interesting. I come across this a lot. If you’re trying to get somebody back or somebody that’s pushed you away or said, “I need space, there’s no spark, there’s no chemistry, something’s missing,” and they’re trying to put you in friend zone or offer you terms that you’re not into, and then they start coming back to you and start contacting you, they must come to you.

They must come to your house to make dinner together. You’re not going to go to lunch, or meet him for a coffee date, or pick them up, or take them somewhere or meet him out anywhere. You’re happy to see them, but the only distance that you’re going to be willing to travel to see them is the distance that it takes to go from wherever you are in your house to your front door to let them in.

This is important to reestablishing the power dynamic and the dominance dynamic. Because if she left you for displaying weakness or acting like a beta male, if you will, then when she comes back, it’s because she’s starting to the sense “this guy’s not coming after me.” So no contact, a lot of guys make the mistake and think, “Oh, it’s a tactic.” It’s not a tactic. It’s a way of living. It’s a negotiation.

If you’re in a negotiation and you’re sitting at the negotiating table, and the other party to your negotiation is unwilling to give you the terms that you want and you’re at an impasse, the only thing you can do is walk away. Because if you stay there and you try to get them to give you the terms you want, and they’re unwilling to do that, and then you start caving, you’re giving up your position of leverage, and that means you don’t really believe in what you’re bringing to the table. You don’t see that what you bring to the table has enough value to stand firm on your principles and what you want.

So a guy who loves, and values and respects himself after a woman has pushed him away — it’s like, she screwed the relationship up, and it’s got to be her that’s going to fix it. That’s why in these situations, the woman has to do all of the calling, texting and pursuing. And as long as she comes over for three dates in a row in the evening, making dinner at your place to hang out, and have fun and hook up, then you can meet her out, and pick her up and do those things. But she still has to continue to do all of the pursuing, because her coming back has to be her idea.

If you start calling, and texting and pursuing her as she’s starting to come back, it’ll backslide. She’ll start backing off a little bit. And a lot of guys make this mistake. The woman starts coming back, and “Okay, great. No contact worked.” They go right back to pursuing, and then within a few weeks they’re stuck in friendzone again, they’re getting ghosted, they’re getting blown off. They’re getting broken dates and they’re getting jerked around.

Because a woman has to know, she has a sense, she has to feel that there’s a hard boundary there, And if she treats you the way you say you don’t want to be treated and she offers you terms that you aren’t interested in, you have to walk and never look back. And the way you do that is, you say, “Hey, if you change your mind, get in touch. I’d love to see you. I’d love to work things out,” whatever it happens to be. And if there’s still interest, enough romantic interest, she’ll come back at some point. And if there is not, you’ll never hear from her again. Either way, you know where you stand.

You want somebody that wants to be with you. You want somebody that values you enough to say, “I’m not letting this guy get away.” She’s going to make the effort to make it known that she likes you and wants you, because women have to know where the boundary is. At some point in every relationship, in the beginning, at some point, something comes up and she has the sense, she has to feel, she has to know, sometimes she’s got to experience that the guy is out of there, he’s walking away and he’s never coming back.

And as the days go by and if she cares about him, her interest is going to start to creep back up, and then she’s going to start to become fearful that, “Wow, I really pissed this guy off. I really screwed this up. I better fix this, because it’s obvious that I’m not going to hear from him again,” because she stepped across his boundary. She found what his breaking point was. She found the straw that broke the camel’s back. She found the PNR, the point of no return, meaning the only way the guy is going to return is if she does something to get his attention and comes over and does things on his terms. If she starts coming back and then you start going to her, you’re now submitting and going to her terms.

If she really cares about you, she’ll come to you. And if she doesn’t want to do that, then you’re just simply not going to make time for her. It’s really super important in how you handle it. Guys that follow what I teach in “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back”, it works really well. Guys that follow it, and then once the girl starts reaching out, they start reaching out again. What happens? They go right back to over pursuing, and then it becomes a stalemate, and then they get nowhere.

It’s got to be her idea. Men may do the choosing, but it’s women who pick the guys they want to be with, so be the kind of guy that she has to pick, the kind of guy that she has to work for, the kind of guy that’s just simply not going to put up with her fucking bullshit. Simple as that. “I’m not going to put up with being mistreated this way. I’m not going to put up being taken for granted. I’m not going to put up with your uncertainty about where our relationship is right now. I’m not going to put up with you being unsure about how you feel about me. You go figure that shit out and get back to me.” That’s the attitude.

You’re just saying, “No, this doesn’t excite me. These terms don’t work for me. I’m leaving the negotiating table.” You’re not just saying you’re leaving the negotiating table. Your actions are going to communicate that, because you’re going to disappear from her life. She’s never going to hear from you again, you’re not going to call, you’re not going to text, you’re not going to interact with her on social media or anything. As far as you’re concerned, she’s dead to you and you’re moving on.

Just like the Lionel Richie song, “Easy.” I love that song. He’s looking for a good time, and he moves on. It’s such a great song. I love the words of that song too. It’s a Lionel Richie song from the 80s — one of his big hits. Check it out, check the words to that song out. It so applies to this kind of a situation, where he’s had enough of a toxic relationship. He’s like, “I’m out of here. I’m looking for a good time. I want to have fun. I’m back out on the town, I’m back on the streets, looking for new girl and looking to have a good time. No more of this garbage from the past.“

So back to our first email… so, the date that he made got delayed. Now, the point being of going through the “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back” again is notice what happens next. This is really super important that you do this properly, because if you don’t, you’re going to screw it up.

Her next contact was to ask me to go to her. Sound familiar?

But he was prepared because he was a good student, and obviously he had a great coach in moi, yours truly, teaching him how to master what’s in “How To Be A 3% Man,” so he can join the 3% Club.

Well, I stuck to the principles of attraction and declined. The only way we would get together is if she came to me.

You’re the man, this is your fucking kingdom. You don’t see the king running outside of his castle with his golden crown on and his big flowing cape, chasing after the chick that’s that’s leaving his castle. He lets her leave. He’s like, “You’ll be back. She’ll be back eventually. Once she realizes I’m not coming after her, she’ll be back.” And if not, when one door closes, another one opens.

There’s always a better opportunity down the road. You have to believe that, you have to think that way, you have to act that way and you have to have expectations, positive expectations that eventually, with enough time, it’s going to happen. It’s not worth going back, because if you go back and you cave, and you go back to the negotiating table, you lose all your leverage. And when you lose all your leverage, now you’re going along with her terms.

At the end of day, women don’t want power. They don’t want control in the relationship, despite what they say. They don’t react too well to what they don’t like, especially a Russian alpha female. She won’t put up with that shit.

One of he things I always used to love, when I would run into a Russian woman, because there’s a lot of them down in South Beach, we would, inevitably at some point, start talking about politics. And I’d always ask, “What do you guys think of Vladimir Putin?” One hundred percent of them, they all said the same fucking thing, “He’s a really strong man.” Whatever you think of Vladimir Putin, he’s a fucking man, he’s an alpha male, and women respect strong men, men that just won’t put up with bullshit.

She agreed and drove 30 minutes to meet me. After dinner, we made love and have not separated since.

You see how that was right on the barrier of just losing it. If he’d agreed to her and gone to her, he’s given the power away. It’s possible he might have been able to fumble his way through it for a few weeks and it work, but on some level, it’s like, she had to come to him. She had to come to daddy. Who’s your daddy, baby? So she came back.

We are now living together, and still feeling the love, for almost a year. This morning she told me I have high emotional intelligence. It’s something she says she has searched for but never found in a man. How did I become like this? Of course, I know the answer, but for sure I wasn’t going to give away the recipe. Seems I have become the 3% man in her eyes.

If you haven’t read my book yet, you can read “How To Be A 3% Man” for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. And also, my second book “Mastering Yourself” is available for free there. This is all about discovering how to align your life with your true calling and reach your full potential. It’s a purpose, self-reliance book. Just go to UnderstandingRelationships.com and sign up for the newsletter.

Once you do that, I know you’ll be like, you know, these books are good, let me get the audio book, let me get the paperback so I can highlight and tab it out, make some notes in the margins and really get to know it. Or you get the Kindle version, because you can kind of do the same thing with the Kindle. You can highlight things, you can make notes to really help make it a tool, so you can focus on the parts that really apply to you the most and you can fill in all your knowledge gaps, so you never have to worry about going through these kinds of things.

But the reality is, women are going to come along and they’re going to test you on it. They’re going to see what you’re made of, because the world is full of floppy cock beta males. And every time I talk about beta males, I usually get two or three beta males in the comments bitching and trying to convince me there’s no such thing as a beta male, and scientists, something about alpha wolves… whatever.

Everybody knows what an alpha male is and a beta male. People instinctively know what that is. The alpha is the leader, the beta is the follower. The alpha goes for what he wants. The beta shrinks from the challenges, because he’s a bitch. Don’t be a bitch, because women don’t want a bitch. They don’t want a pussy, because they already have one.

I now feel bad for men that don’t understand the female mind and treat their relationships as though they were in a Hollywood movie; pure beta males. I do direct a few of those men to your work, but only those that deserve better.

Not everybody makes the cut. This is like an NFL locker room only. This is where the best hang out.

So, keep up the good work Corey, it’s changed my life.

Bob

Well, congratulations to you, dude, and your sweet Russian girlfriend. I personally really like Russian women, because they’re feminine and they’re strong willed, they’re confident, they go for what they want, they always let you know where you stand and they don’t fuck around, which, I like that. I like Russian women.

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey

I had one coaching call with you a while back, and it changed my life.  I had been following your work and was getting a lot of success and had a problem with a particular woman I was dating at the time.  You pointed out many flaws in her and made me realize that, although she was beautiful/fun and we got along great, she had flakey tendencies that I should watch out for and not get serious with her unless I wanted long term issues. 

Yeah, guys that really care about a girl and their emotions are all wrapped up, when I talk to them –because I have no emotional attachment to where they are — I’m just like, “What’s the bottom line here? What’s she doing? What are you doing? What’s she’s saying? What are you saying?” and I can read between the lines.

Remember, we all make our decisions based on emotions, and we use logic and reason to justify our decisions, or our purchase decisions. And because he was in the thick of it and he really cared for this girl, he was completely ignoring all of the red flags that were everywhere.

Some women you just can’t have a healthy relationship with, and some women you’re just not compatible with, and that’s okay. You want somebody who really wants to be with you and not only do they really want to be with you, they make the effort. Their words and their actions match. And if they don’t, she can go on down the fucking road.

You pointed out that I was young, had a great career as a business owner and doctor and my stock was only going to go up.  After my call with you, I parted ways with her as friends, and she met a great guy who she is currently seeing. 

Yeah, she’s now his problem. See how beautiful that is? One door closes, another one opens. Let her go screw somebody else’s life up.

I began dating again, and it was well worth the money to save time and energy on this particular woman. She wasn’t worth my valuable time anymore. Not long after, I continued to date and found an amazing woman!  She was a former gymnast, from Europe! (Yeah, smokin’ hot body!)  She is short, blonde, and we laugh constantly. 

That’s so important. If you can’t be with a girl that laughs at you, and you laugh at her and you make fun of each other, it’s going to be really difficult to be with them. You’ve got to have a girl who’s got a good attitude, because life is so full of ups and downs, and shit comes out of left field. Like when things are going well, something happens. And if you’ve got somebody in your life who can joke and laugh with you and feel good and have fun with, that makes it so much better.

If you’ve got a chick that’s a bitch, and she just wants to be a bitch, and she has been spoiled because she’s hot, and her example is that she’s allowed to get away with this because everybody kisses her ass. It’s like, oh man, you go through a difficult time, and you’ve got a girlfriend who just turns into a bitch, woooo, it’s great having all these tools in “How To Be A 3% Man,” but me personally, no way. I don’t want to deal with any drama. No, thank you.

If she’s not making it easy and effortless, she can go on down the fucking road. I know it’s harsh, but I don’t fucking care. Life’s too short, I’m fucking 50, man. I’ve been around the block a few times, and nice girls who are nice to me, who are easy going, easy to be with, who keep their word and who are kind of jokesters and like to have fun — oh man, it’s just so nice. It’s so refreshing.

We connected immediately, and after 5-6 weeks she brought up being together! 

That’s like right out of the book. You know, the book says right at about week seven.

We have been together ever since and got married 2 months ago!

Damn, that was quick, dude.

She is currently 8 weeks pregnant, and life is great!  If it wasn’t for you, I would have continued to get hung up on the wrong women, instead of letting things run their course and move on.

Well, dude, I’m fucking proud of you. Congratulations on the baby. That is awesome.

I most likely would have messed things up with my wife as well, as I used to over pursue women I really liked in the past. Before you I had success with women, but never the type of women I wanted, and my success wasn’t reproducible. 

That’s why it says “Winning the heart of the woman of your dreams.” Well, that’s that’s the title. “Learn pickup, dating and relationship secrets that only 3% of the world’s men know about being successful women.” The full title of the book is, “How To Be A 3% Man: Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams.” I want you to be with somebody knocks your socks off, not some mediocre average chick.

I could never understand why sometimes I was very successful, and other times I couldn’t get a woman to look at me for months. Now I know why after reading your book many times and booking a coaching session.  Well worth it the money! 

If you have time, I have only 1 question.  I love to hunt an assortment of animals and fish as well. 

Oh, I bet the PETA people don’t like you.

These hobbies can take a lot of time, especially during October and November when whitetail are at peak hunting season. 

Well, like Uncle Ted Nugent says, you’ve got to cull the herd, because otherwise they just breed and they reproduce, and they actually end up damaging their own ecosystems. Nature’s got to run its course. Some of the environmentalists have interfered with that, and in the Middle Eastern part of America there’s a deer that’s spreading these ticks that have some kind of disease all over the place. And it’s starting to infect humans, because there’s no natural predators where they are, and people weren’t allowed to hunt them. So it creates problems.

So I’m all for what Uncle Ted says when it comes to managing the population. You just have to do it. The same thing with feral pigs. You have to do it. Otherwise, they just get out of control and they destroy everything.

She has mentioned a few times she doesn’t want me disappearing all the time to leave her alone to hunt and fish. She loves my passion for these hobbies, but I can tell she is anxious about me disappearing for a few weeks to hunt or fish.  Up until this point, I haven’t gone a lot, but will start more now that me and my Dad have some land to hunt and we plan to head out west every year to Montana to hunt mule deer and antelope as well for about a week. 

I remember your videos saying that I need to keep my hobbies and passions and not give them up for any women as that is masculine energy. Is that correct?

Yup, you can’t give these up. However, I’ll get to that in a minute.

I plan to do that but what does that conversation look like when I’m leaving to get on a plane for a week and she’s pregnant, and not feeling well and she wants me to cancel my trip? 

So you’ve got to keep in mind, you’ve got a pregnant woman at home. So maybe having a satellite phone and calling her once a day. Don’t just disappear for a week and not call and check on her. You know, spend the money, if you can afford to hop on a plane and disappear into the woods for a week or two. Because I know how expensive everything is in the gun community. Oh, man, it’s like tens of thousands of dollars, and then you get into night vision and putting fucking lasers on your guns — shit is so expensive. It’s such an expensive hobby.

So if you can afford to fly and hunt deer for a week, you can afford to buy a satellite phone when you’re out in the middle of nowhere and call your queen maybe in the morning or at night, just to check on her and make sure she’s okay. You can’t just disappear like that for a week or two. You’ve got to figure that out. Take some extra phone cell phone batteries or whatever. Take the battery out of the phone and have it available in case you want to call. Put it on vibrate or something.

I mean, you’ve got to figure it out. You can’t just disappear for a week or two when your bride is pregnant. That’s not cool. That’s going to cause her to not feel safe and comfortable, because she wants to know that you’re there. Maybe go on a hunting trip for a week at a time, and then come back, and then a few weeks later, go back again. But I’d say invest in a satellite phone. And like I said, if you’re spending all this money to do this stuff, you can afford a satphone.

What do I say when she wants to stay in and all I want to do is run to the woods after work or weekends to chase whitetail a few months a year? 

Well, a man does what he must. He must go chase the whitetail. But you’ve got to look out for her. Think about it. If you call her, maybe something comes up with the pregnancy and she ends up in the hospital. So your wife and your baby are in the hospital because something’s going sideways, and you find this out because you’ve got a satphone where she calls you and tells you.

What you are going to do? “I’ll see you in a week when I get back” — no, it’s an emergency. And you’re going to go back, hop on a plane and go be with your queen. That’s what she’s worried about. She’s worried about something happening. And you’re her rock, you’re her man. She needs to be able to get in touch with you. So, you’re a phone call and a plane ride away if there’s an emergency,

I don’t want to hurt her, but want to set the stage that these are my passions, and I plan to continue them my entire life.  Any help would be great!

Like I said, satphone. Let her know, “If something happens, I’ll be on the next plane back. Babe, I’ve got you, but nature’s calling. I’ve got to spend time with my dad. We planned, we spent the money.” You’ve just got to figure it out, you’ve got to communicate. You can’t give it up, but you also can’t just abandon her and disappear for two weeks at a time — no phone calls, no nothing.

Thanks again for all that you do.  

Bob  

P.S.  I booked a coaching session with a YouTube therapist who claims to do what you do 2 weeks before I talked to you. 

Often imitated, but never duplicated, my friend. Notice what he says next about my coaching.

He was half the price and had many degrees in Psychology. 

Well, the stuff that’s taught in “How To Be A 3% Man,” self-help, self-reliance, and in “Mastering Yourself,” it’s like these are just not things that are part of a psychologist’s or a therapist’s wheelhouse. Good ones study and learn my work, and this gives them a lot of great tools for their toolbox. Because I’ve coached some of the most successful psychologists, marriage and family, and couples therapists from all over the world.

The really good ones will learn from a guy like me and incorporate that into their practice, and they just smoke everybody. They just blow everybody else away with their capabilities. And their clients get amazing results like mine do. I mean, go read the reviews on Amazon or anywhere else. Google my name and go look at the chat rooms and what people say about me. It’s like, my work — the results speak for itself.

That’s why I can give my books away for free, because I know once you see how well they work, you’ll go buy the audiobook, the paperback, the hardcover. We’re approaching Christmas time in a few months, so these make great gifts. The hardcover, I know they’re a little pricey, but you know they’re print on demand, so they’re really expensive to produce. But if you’ve got somebody you care about or maybe yourself, the hardcover or the paperback version makes a great gift, a great stocking stuffer for those you care about.

Although he was a nice guy, I got 100x the value from your sessions versus his. You really do get what you pay for! Thanks again.

Amen to that, brother.

“Women respect and love men who stand up to them, and who respect and love themselves. A woman has to know that if they push a guy too far and violate his boundaries and principles that he will walk and never look back. A man who doesn’t have the confidence to stand up to a disrespectful woman gets no love or respect from her. In order for a woman to submit to a man and follow his lead, he must demonstrate through his actions that he can handle himself, her and any other challenges life throws his way. A real man rises up to meet challenges. A beta male shrinks from them.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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