How Will Smith Should Have Handled Chris Rock Making Fun Of His Wife Like A Gentleman

How Will Smith should have handled Chris Rock making fun of his wife Jada, like a gentleman.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss how Will Smith, if he was a 3% Man, would have handled Chris Rock making fun of his wife Jada, that would have made her feel like Will was her lover and protector, instead of an emotionally immature little boy who has no emotional self-control.

If Will Smith was an actual 3% man, and had read my book 10-15 times, and behaved like a man is supposed to behave, how would he have handled things differently? Most people saw the slap that was heard around the world. I did a video on it yesterday, “Is Will Smith A Real Man or Approval Seeking Beta Male?” And I also did a video going into detail with Estefania and Chunky, where we analyzed their history and looked through some of the things that she had said publicly, like when they first got married, and then what happened with her and the affair that she had with the rapper, August Alsina, “What’s Really Going On In Will & Jada Pinkett Smith’s Relationship?”

We went through all of that and pointed out some things, because it was obvious, if you see the two videos – because Will Smith said so, in the interview on her podcast, Red Table Talk – that Jada was the one that wanted to take the break, or the hall pass, or have the timeout in their marriage, so she could basically go and have relationships with other people. It’s what she wanted, not what he wanted.

And as I’ve said in the previous two videos, she wore the pants in the family. That’s pretty obvious to everybody. As I said in the first video, I don’t think Chris Rock was up there making fun of her medical condition. Maybe he didn’t even know about the Alopecia that she has that causes you to lose your hair, your eyebrows, things of that nature. Which, obviously for a woman, can be something that’s very hard to deal with or live with, because women tend to have hair. Not like us guys, like myself, that tend to be losing our hair.

But it’s obvious when you watch the video that Will was sitting there, laughing along with the whole audience, and then he looked over at Jada and saw that she didn’t look so happy with the joke. And what you notice when you watch, Chris Rock, before he goes into the joke, he looks at her and he says, “Jada, I love you,” and then he rolls into the joke. It’s his way of saying, “Hey, I’m just making a joke. I love you, you’re amazing.”

But Will, when you look into his history, he says he felt like a coward, when he was a little boy, that he didn’t stand up to his father when his father was getting physically violent or getting abusive with his mother. And so, he’s got this need, like this little boy. And he was emotional, he was crying the whole ceremony. The guys is just not in control of his emotions, and so he had an outburst. It’s like everything is trying to get her approval. He’s been chasing her pretty much since they met. And she’s always had the power and the leverage in the relationship. That’s why she’s very stoic and very masculine. He’s the one who’s so girly and emotional. He’s basically like the woman in the relationship.

If he felt comfortable in his own manhood and his masculinity, he looked over at his queen and his queen is has got a less than happy look on her face, if it was me, I would have put my hand on her thigh and said, “Babe, you look fucking amazing tonight. I’m sure Chris was just making a joke. He didn’t mean anything ill intended. He even said ‘I love you’ before he made the joke. To me, he’s communicating he’s saying it with affection. He didn’t mean any ill intent. But you know, obviously, I could see in your face, it bothered you. And after the show, or after the party tonight, I’m going to go over and have a chat with him and resolve it. You look amazing. I’m so proud to have you as my wife. I’m so proud to have you as my queen and to share this moment where I can potentially win an Academy Award and celebrate it with you. There’s nobody I would rather be here with than you.”

I would have reassured her that way, instead of going up there an bitch-slapping him. If it was Mike Tyson up there, he wouldn’t have gone up there and slapped him like that. He did it because Chris Rock was smaller and he could get away with bullying and intimidating. Somebody pointed out, if you look at some of the older videos, like some of the old school Hollywood celebrity roasts they used to do in the 50s, 60s, 70s with Dean Martin, Don Rickles, I mean, they really ripped into one another. These people were all close friends, but they ripped into each other in front of the whole world, and they were funny as hell.

What Chris Rock said was very innocuous, and I think they all know each other and they’re friends. It’s disappointing to see a “man” lose control like that and think it’s okay to go up there on stage. You’ve got this guy, Will Smith, who’s worth millions – somebody said he and his wife are probably close to billionaires – and you have a lot of younger men that look up to him that don’t know any better. Maybe they didn’t have a father figure and they go, “Oh, if somebody says something and your wife gets upset, you just go up there and you punch them in the face or you slap them.” And so, what’s getting communicated is that it’s okay to solve your perceived infractions, or when somebody says something mean or hurts your feelings, that you go try to start a fight.

Anybody that knows anything about fighting knows that, eventually, if you go around picking fights, you’re going to come up against somebody that’s going to kick your ass and that you didn’t expect could kick your ass. And there’s many cases, I had a friend that I went to high school with that picked a fight with the wrong guy, and it cost him his life. And I mean, he was like 20 years old at the time. And so, there’s going to be somebody out there, out of the millions and millions of young men and young boys, that sees that and thinks, “Oh, that’s the right thing to do.”

I saw Dakota Meyer, who wrote a good book, a former Marine, but he’s had a train wreck of a personal life going, “Oh, yeah, I think it was a great thing that Will went up there and slapped him.” That was one of the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever seen come out of that guy’s mouth. I mean, it’s just stupid. You don’t do things like that. You don’t encourage men to do things like that, because the reality is somebody is not going to know any better and think, “Oh, that’s just what you do. You can go up and slap somebody, and like Chris Rock, they’ll just take it and laugh it off.”

And Chris Rock handed it like a gentleman. He was startled, and then he went right back to crushing it as the master of ceremonies for the Oscars, because he’s a great performer. He handled things appropriately, even when a guy comes up and slaps you in front of the whole whole world like that. It’s not appropriate, but Will Smith’s actions, potentially, could cause somebody that follows his example to lose his life. And I’m disappointed to hear Dakota Meyer say something like that publicly, because it’s bullshit. You know, he’s not in combat anymore. He’s not in the Marines anymore. And telling people to just go up and punch someone in the face when you get upset with them, instead of talking to them like a gentleman, that’s just stupid. But, you know, you look at Dakota and his life’s basically been a train wreck. I know the guy is trying, but it’s not appropriate. Will Smith going up there and smacking Chris Rock, it’s not appropriate.

And so, back to what I what I was saying. After he would have reassured his wife, like I said, then at the after party, if I was Will Smith, I would have walked up and I would’ve said, “Hey, I know you were just making a joke and you probably didn’t mean anything by it. Maybe you didn’t know, but she’s got Alopecia, and she’s losing her hair because of it, and she’s kind of insecure about it. And when I looked over after you said the joke, you could tell she was crushed by it. And I would appreciate it if you’d go talk to her and apologize, give her a hug. Tell her that you’re sorry and you didn’t mean it in a bad way. It would mean a lot to me. It would mean a lot to her, because you really hurt her feelings when you said that. And I’d appreciate that.”

And I’m sure Chris would have said, “You know what, you’re right. I’m sorry. I mean, I didn’t know about her condition. I feel horrible now. I feel bad that I made her feel bad. It was just a joke. It was in good natured humor. We’re all supposed to be friends and family here,” and he would have gone up and apologized like a gentleman. They all would have had a drink, and everything would’ve been fine. But instead, you’ve got this big scene and you’ve got a lot of people that don’t know any better validating Will Smith’s way of going about it. And then, that’s basically enabling his behavior the next time he gets upset to go and do that. You know, say somebody says something that’s smaller than Will Smith, and Will Smith thinks he’s going to go intimidate him and punches the guy, or smacks the guy, and the dude pulls out a gun and shoots him or pulls out a knife and stabs him and in a strategic place, and that’s the end of his life.

You just can’t go through life doing that, as a man. Any man that understands how to deal out violence, knows what you want to do more than anything is to avoid violence at all costs. It’s a last resort, because it can have deadly consequences and you can ruin your life, or their life, or somebody else’s. There’s a lot of people in prison that lost their cool and ended up killing somebody, and you shouldn’t go through life like that. It’s the wrong way to go about things. It was totally inappropriate.

So, that’s how I personally would have handled things. That’s how a 3% man would have handled things, like a gentleman. Now, if he had gone up to Chris Rock and Chris Rock was would have had a lot of nasty things to say about his wife, then at the after party, Will could have punched him in the face and knocked him out, and he probably would have deserved it in that case. But this was a total overreaction. It was inappropriate. And even his apology, you can tell he still doesn’t think that he really did anything wrong, and it’s just inappropriate.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.