I Need To Work On Myself

Oct 14, 2015 by Coach Corey Wayne
Thoughtful young business man sitting

Why working on becoming a better version of yourself is the best way to positively impact the success you have and the quality of your romantic life and potential lovers.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has come to realize, after following my work for the past several months, that he really needs to spend time working on himself. He says he needs to focus on his career, mission, purpose, expand his social circle and pay off his debt.

He discovered he was using the women in his life as the source of his happiness, instead of women being a contributing factor to his happiness. This incorrect focus on finding a woman to make him happy caused him to over-pursue, act clingy and stalkerish, and basically chase every good woman he met right out of his life. He shares what his priorities are now and what he is focused on, so he can reach his full potential after getting dumped by a woman for whom he really cared. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.

I Need To Work On Myself

Hey Coach,

young couples.conflict

First off, I’d like to thank you and tell you my story, which 100% confirms your theory and principles. (I don’t teach theory. I teach what actually works.) I wrote to you about 2 weeks ago, but I imagine it was needy, wussy bollocks that would have made the eyes roll out of your head! I basically tried to find reasons why my ex dumped me that weren’t my fault. Shame on me! (Nobody wants to admit that they fucked up, so kudos to you for realizing something wasn’t working in your life, and going out to seek answers.) Anyway, 2 and a half years ago, my wife left me for the ugly dude in her office who was obviously satisfying her needs, as I had settled much the same as you say you did. I realize now, it was because I was a pleaser and she slowly lost all respect for me as a man until she had a replacement lined up. Anyway, I’m glad she’s happy now, as she would’ve made my life a misery, obviously, as I was already a pussy with her, and in her eyes, my balls had floated off into space never to be seen again!

Photo by iStock.com/Georgijevic
Sexy girls in the car. Celebrating.

For two years, I dated chicks that were more into me than I was into them, like that friend of yours you mention in one of your videos. (A lot of people do that. When you look at the statistics of married people, many people are not in love with the people they married.) This was clearly as a defense mechanism not to get hurt again. I have no problem meeting girls, as I’m good looking, have a great bod, I’m charismatic, fun, have a good job, etc. However, 5 months ago, I met a chick off a dating website, and she blew my world immediately. (Those kinds of women are the kinds that magnify the areas you need to work on. They are really good at finding all the chinks in your armor.) For the first 2 months, things were going great, although probably too much texting during the day, therefore no mystery. She even said on more than one occasion that I always reply immediately, and she finds that less attractive. (She was basically saying your texting too much makes you look needy and clingy.) I know you’re going to repeat that line! This I chose to ignore, as I was really into her, (She was helping you because she liked you. Women find guys more attractive when they are hard to get a hold of), and just replied that I don’t play games. (It’s not about playing games. It’s about having a life outside of your relationship.) After 2 months, I visited friends in the US on vacation for 3 weeks and messaged her far too much! (You were messaging her from a place of control and manipulation, trying to force interactions with her, in order to seek validation. Without realizing it, that’s what you were constantly communicating.) Where’s the mystery in that huh?! When I got back, things seemed fine, but action wise, she was definitely backing off. (When the cat gets bored, it leaves and goes someplace else. I wrote about this in my article and video, “Women Are Like Cats, Men… Dogs.”) So, I slowly chased that cat straight out of town. She’d start cancelling dates, and I was far too available. Anyway, after a vacation with her friends, when I barely heard from her, she eventually told me she wanted to cool things and not make any plans when I’d seen her once in a whole month! (You couldn’t even see how your actions had been driving her away up to that point.) Fortunately, I’d already started following your work about a month earlier and sent the, “It’s a shame as we always have fun together. Give me a shout if you change you mind,” response. Clearly I should’ve backed off during the last month we were together too, but at least I didn’t chase when she finally called it off. (At that point, the damage had been done.)She’s 28, never had a relationship, and I was by far the most serious, as I met her friends and family. She also has a great social life, living with her best friends who are also hot and single. (If she’s beautiful, she has choice with who she wants to date, and like so many other guys, you began to turn her off.) I’ve not heard from her now for 5 weeks, with the exception of her liking one of my Facebook pics 2 weeks after she called it off. Don’t worry. This didn’t cause me to break the radio silence. (The quickest way to get somebody else’s attention is to remove yours. You have heard nothing from her, so what does that tell you? She doesn’t miss you. Obviously, it was too little too late.) Clearly, my behavior and allowing her to cancel on me and always be available was feminine behavior that destroyed her attraction towards me, until she couldn’t take it any more. (She gave you plenty of chances and even told you to back off, but you kept pursuing and trying to force things until she was turned off by you.)

Anyway, and here’s my point. I realize that I am fundamentally unhappy with my career, financial situation and social opportunities, as all my friends are settled with babies. This unhappiness clearly manifested itself in the way I behaved in the ‘relationship,’ as I saw her wanting and falling for me as my way to be happy. (You try harder, because you think if you get her to fall in love with you, all of your problems will be solved. However, it’s important to focus on taking care of you first. Then you can share your completeness with somebody, instead of chasing the wind with somebody.) I now realize my priorities in life are focusing on changing my job, developing my business, clearing my debt and expanding my social circle. I also need to work on my masculine core as my father, although a very loving man, is basically a pushover and the opposite of alpha.

Young Man Suffering From Depression At Home

I assume that her attraction dropped below 50%, and therefore I won’t hear from her again. Even so, if she came back tomorrow, I haven’t let the attachment go yet and need to seriously work on myself, or this is going to happen in every future relationship. (Good for you for the fact that you recognize this. Once you know the problem, then you can do the work to fix it, and you’re no longer a victim.) Maybe over time, and after dating a few idiots, she may look back, and my needy behavior will fade. (It’s possible, but I wouldn’t count on it.) But, whatever – I intend on seriously working on myself and finding someone much better! (Focus on your outcome. You want a great girl that appreciates you and adores you. You haven’t heard from this ex of yours in five weeks so maybe she doesn’t miss you, or maybe she has another guy. It really doesn’t matter. She’s not making any effort, so nothing is possible at this point.)

Thank you so much for your advice and guidance. You’re like a handsome, athletic Buddha my friend. I’m just starting my second reading of your book. (Thanks for the success story. I honor you for the fact that you’re able to recognize where you’ve been screwing up and are taking corrective action. At this point, there’s nothing to it but to do it.)

Bob

Get the Book “How To Be A 3% Man”

How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | FREE**
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
How to Be a 3% Man
Kindle eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
iBooks eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Get the Book “Mastering Yourself”

Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | FREE**
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
Mastering Yourself
Kindle eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
iBooks eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Get the Book “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations”

Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Audiobook | FREE**
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Audiobook | $24.95
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Audiobook | $24.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Kindle eBook | $9.99
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
iBooks eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Paperback | $49.99
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Coach Corey Wayne Merchandise

If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: [email protected]

If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:

  1. Make a donation to my work by clicking here to donate via PayPal anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck... $2... $3... $5... $10... $20... what ever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, videos, emails, newsletters, etc.
  2. Referring your friends and family to this website so they can start learning and improving their dating and relationship life, happiness, balance and overall success in every area of their lives too!
  3. Purchase a phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session for yourself or a friend by clicking here. Download the Amazon.com Kindle version of my book to your Kindle, Smartphone, Mac or PC for only $9.99 by clicking here. Get the iBook version for $9.99 from the iBookstore by clicking here. Get the Audio Book for FREE $0.00 with an Audible.com membership by clicking here or buy it for $19.95 at Amazon.com by clicking here. Get the iTunes Audio Book for $19.95 by clicking here. That way, you'll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message!

From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“The best investment in life that pays the best dividends is to invest in becoming a better version of yourself. When you focus on you, making yourself happy and creating a life and lifestyle that is emotionally compelling to you, you’ll make yourself more attractive to potential lovers. You’ll also become more sought after in your career and peer group. The more successful, awesome and happy you become, the more you will draw other like-minded people to you to willingly and enthusiastically co-create with you. Depending upon the love or presence of another in your life for your happiness will lead to suffering, heartache, heartbreak and disappointment. Depending upon yourself and your actions to get you from where you are right now to where you want to be will lead to incremental progress, success and sustainable happiness long-term.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Click Anywhere on Today's Instagram Image Below & You'll Be Taken To My Instagram Page. When you get to my Instagram page, click the "Follow" Button so you can follow me on Instagram. I upload several new Instagram photos per week.

Published on October 14, 2015

Reader Interactions

Leave A Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc. I Recommend
1 Hour Phone/Skype Coaching Session
Free eBook & Online Audio Program Access

How To Be A 3% Man

Mastering Yourself

Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations

Share Page on Social Media:
FOLLOW
DONATE
PRODUCTS
SHARE
top