If She’s Rude, Disrespectful & Jerks You Around She’s Out!

Why you should drop women who are rude, disrespectful & that jerk you around.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s in a band and has a reputation as a ladies man. Most women are more aggressive because of this and chase him. However, he worries that his reputation ruins his chances with women he really likes. He’s still thinking about a woman who jerked him around and ghosted him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “If She’s Rude, Disrespectful & Jerks You Around She’s Out!”.

So this particular email is from a viewer. I guess I’ve answered some emails of his in the past. So he’s in a band and I guess he says he’s got kind of a reputation as a ladies man. And just, you know, you’re going to be on stage. That’s a high risk type of career, and it shows a lot of confidence and competence to get up and to do something like that, especially when you got a crowd of people that are really enjoying your music.

And so some women, he says, know that other women are after him and it makes them really aggressive and they chase him, but this particular woman he writes in about, he says he really liked her, and was wondering if his reputation ruined his chances with women. But the thing he’s ignoring, because remember, rejection breeds obsession. And so what’s happening here is that she’s just kind of jerking around, she’s not being nice to him. I see this all the time.

You want a girl who’s easy going, easy to get along with and who’s nice to you. And this girl was not nice to him. And on top of that, she’s kind of flaky and jerking her around. Remember, rejection breeds obsession. And so these other women really were really easy because they were really into him. And women who were really into you make it easy. But this girl is not so much. And she’s jerking around, and yet he’s still thinking about her.

You know, as the old saying goes, it’s like if it comes easy, we don’t appreciate it. If it’s difficult, we appreciate it much more. But you got to look at a woman’s actions, because if you continue to date and spend time with women, that jerk you around and blow you off and treat you like shit, you’re just inviting more of it.

When women treat you the way this girl treated this guy, they should be out of your life. The greatest gift you can give anybody is a gift of your time. And if somebody takes you for granted and doesn’t appreciate that, then they’re going to get the gift of missing you permanently if necessary.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

You’ve answered a lot of my questions in the past, and I wanted to follow up on my previous one from the video, “Is She Worth My Time?”. I was really liking this girl, gave her space to reach out to me after we’d both been out of town and I’d told her, “Let me know when you’re back.” She never responded, but she was watching my Instagram stories of my band playing shows.

So again, you’ve got to give women the time and space away from you to follow through on your plans and commitments, or to flake out and disappear forever. You want to make sure the woman chooses you, and that’s why the book is laid out the way it’s laid out. To make sure you don’t end up with a chick who’s wasting your time and disrespecting you.

Because it creates the conditions where she has to follow through on things. And if she doesn’t, well, then she just makes it easy for her just to disappear from your life so you don’t waste your time chasing a girl and trying to get her attention when she really couldn’t give two shits about you.

I’d told her, “Let me know when you’re back.” She never responded.

So when that happens, that should be the end of it. If you see her, you can hang out. If she comes to your venue, you can hang out, have fun, and hook up. But if she doesn’t do what you told her to do, she’s out. Again, it takes two to tango, and she’s not really making much of an effort. Because in previously she’d been jerking him around and that’s why he wrote in, “Is She Worth My Time?”, because she was jerking me around. But because she was hard to get, what happened?

It kind of hooked him a little bit. And the thing that he’s ignoring is that this woman is disrespecting him, wasting his time. And yet he’s not seeing that, because he’s so focused on his interest in her. He’s got all these other women eating out of his hand that have high interest. And yet this girl is just like, “Eh.”

She never responded, but she was watching my Instagram stories of my band playing shows, pictures of us with pretty girls dressed up on Halloween, funny stuff, etc. Well, I checked one day when she didn’t watch my story and saw she’d unfollowed me and unadded me as a follower of hers.

Another thing to consider is some women who like you, but they don’t feel they’re good enough for you, will reject you even though they really like you, because deep down they don’t think they’re worthy and they just assume down the road you’ll find out what they’re really all about and you’ll reject them down the road so they surmise it’s better just to reject you now because you’re not going to like them anyways. Which again, she’s taken herself out of your life. She’s taken herself out of contention. You should just let that happen. When a girl really likes you, she makes it easy to be with her.

And when she doesn’t, she puts roadblocks up in the way. And when a girl unfollows you like that she’s clearly checked out. She doesn’t care. She’s uninterested. For whatever reason, she’s gone away. So let her go away. But sometimes you’ll notice women will unfollow you and yet they’ll still reach out. And they unfollowed you trying to see if they can get a rise out of you. So there’s that. That’s why I wouldn’t really pay too much attention to social media.

Previously, she’d been jerking me around and pretty flippant with seeing me until she saw me on a date and overheard two people at the bar talking saying, “That guy’s the singer in this band and brings a different girl in here every night.”

“When kitty cats compete, you win.” As the late, great Doc Love used to say.

The next time I bumped into her at another bar she was all over me and basically wanted to go back to her place immediately. We’d almost hooked up before that but didn’t go all the way. We hooked up a few more times, but she brought up that comment at the bar every time we hung out asking me, “Am I just another girl?” And I’d assure her, no, and I really like her. She complained how hard it was dating in New York City the last time I saw her.

Well, she’s clearly making it hard on herself if she’s treating all guys like she treated this dude. No wonder people are just like they don’t want to deal with their flaky bullshit.

Saying she knows she’s hot but there are a ton of hot girls. She got really embarrassed for sharing but I told her I got it and tried to assure her that I did like her. After she’d unfollowed me, I texted her and asked how the trip was.

Well, when you see that, I wouldn’t have texted her because again, she’s already mistreating you. And when you pursue somebody that is mistreating you, you’re inviting her to do more of it. No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do, so keep that in mind Dude. You’ve got to pay attention to this stuff.

She said it was good and that she worked a lot but loved it. I invited her to get a drink and catch up but she never responded.

See that? Once again. She unfollowed him, so she’s checked out. She doesn’t care. When a girl just ghosts you like that she don’t give a fuck. You know, you’re like toilet paper to her. She really doesn’t care. You gotta choose somebody that also chooses you.

I’m thinking I’ll text her and ask what happened.

Nope. I would not do that because she’s not going to give you a straight answer anyways.

I’d want to learn from it if something went wrong.

Well, she’s got low interest and low respect for you. But I suspect she may have rejected you because she felt inadequate. Because you’re the singer in this band and all these girls are after you every night they’re after you. Yes, she did spend some time with you. And yeah, you guys hooked up a few times, but she keeps blowing you off. So if we take a step back, and we bottom line her actions, she’s blowing you off and jerking you around, disrespecting you. It’s either because she doesn’t like you or she doesn’t think she’s good enough. And so therefore she’s going to reject you anyways because she doesn’t think she’s good enough. That does happen sometimes. And I suspect that’s probably what’s going on here.

Because remember, she showed up and was kind of flaky and distant, but as soon as she found out there were other ladies in the picture, she became more aggressive. So that is a natural action that a woman is going to take. Because again, women like you more if they think you’re popular with other women. And obviously there’s lots of social proof here. However, she didn’t stick around because I think deep down she doesn’t think she’s good enough. So that’s why she’s just ghosting and rejecting him. She’s fucking it up on purpose. Because she deep down doesn’t think it’s going to work out.

But I’m fairly certain she liked me a lot and was hurt I never reached out again thinking I didn’t care about her.

That’s not it at all. I think she rejected you because she doesn’t feel good enough. You’ve got to look at a woman’s actions, dude. And her behavior is not normal. Easygoing, easy to get along with. And most importantly, she’s nice to you. This girl’s never been nice to you.

I’m the singer in a cool band here, girls throw themselves at me at shows all the time. I’ve also read 3% Man over 25 times, but I feel like it’s tough to develop something deeper when I have so many options. I think girls are starting to get hurt because I’m pretty free with who I sleep with.

Well, again, in this particular case, I would say this woman is rejecting you because she feels inadequate. Remember, she kept asking you if she was special every time you got together. “Oh, am I just another one of the girls?” In other words, she doesn’t think she can compete with all the other women in your life. And you saying, “oh, I’m getting rid of all them.” Doesn’t matter. Deep down, she does not feel good enough to be with a man of your caliber. You’re a successful guy. And she’s clearly a mess. And what you’re doing is you’re rationalizing and making excuses for her messed-upness.

It’s like you become interested in the women who show low interest in you. But the girls that are all over you, you don’t really want to be with. And so I would suggest that you contemplate on that. Because like in my family, we didn’t get hugs, we didn’t get I love yous. And so we grew up wanting love but not getting love. And when I got into my early 20s, even in my teenage years, I realized probably like when I was 23, 24, that I was getting hung up on women that were unavailable, girls that I was friends with that had boyfriends that I liked, thinking I’ll get my shot when they break up.

And then they would break up and then they’d be with somebody else within a few weeks. I think, okay, well next time. And then I realized I was stuck in friend zone, and I’m wasting months and years of my life waiting for an opportunity that was never going to come. So what I realized is that the girls that I wanted, that didn’t want me, I’d be really into. And I realized it was just like the relationship I had with my family, wanting love but not getting love. And so when I met somebody that didn’t show love, that felt normal. And having women that were really into me show me affection that was abnormal because I wasn’t used to the affection.

So if I were you, I would contemplate on that a little bit. And there might be some of that going on here. And these other girls that you’re blowing off, even though they make it easy. You want somebody that’s easygoing, easy to get along with. She’s nice to you. She’s hot. You really enjoy her company. And when you see a woman that treats you like this and jerks you around like this girl did, you got to dip sooner than you did. You spent a lot of time and a lot of emotional energy on a girl that, quite frankly, wasn’t worth your time.

And deep down, she doesn’t feel she’s worth your time. That’s why she dipped on you. And because I agree, she definitely liked you. But she’s jerking you around because she feels inadequate. She doesn’t feel good enough. So don’t date somebody that doesn’t feel good enough. It’s not your job to fix her or to save her, or undo the bad parenting she got as a little girl. You’ve just got to recognize that she’s fucked up.

It’s not your job to fix her or to save her. And the more you stay engaged with women like this, it’s going to cause you to doubt yourself and question yourself. Think there’s something wrong with you, and it’s going to have a negative effect on your career and your success with other women. If she treats you right, she gets the gift of your time. And if she treats you like this girl did, she gets the gift of missing you permanently.

Should I back off sleeping around so much and try to work on my reputation?

I’d say just be more discreet about it.

It does me well to have a “Rock ‘n Roll” reputation, but I worry it’s hurting my chances with girls I really like.

Again, this chick is a bad tomato. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes.

On the other hand, a lot of girls know I’m a bit of a playboy and still want to hook up.

Thanks for everything Coach.

Yeah, because you’re a challenge. Because those women that come after you, even though they know you’re getting laid left and right, their self-esteem makes them believe that they’re good enough to take you away from all those other women. And that is what you should be paying attention to. This girl did not think she was good enough, so after hooking up a few times, she dipped and she put you off. Because it’s much easier to do that than to take the risk of getting hurt down the road. So you got to pay attention to how a woman treats you. You can’t just ignore that and dismiss that.

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