If You Try To Fix Her Instead Of Romancing Her She Will Bounce

Why you should never try to fix a woman & give advice but romance her instead or she’ll bounce.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is pretty full of himself due to his consumption of red pill content. He says he was too cold and not sweet enough. However, his email makes it clear he was always giving her unsolicited advice and trying to fix her and her life. They argued often. He only read 3% Man, once several years ago and thinks he’s an expert when he behaves like an arrogant, ignorant and inexperienced amateur. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “If You Try To Fix Her Instead Of Romancing Her She Will Bounce.”

Well, this video is for all the guys who have a habit of trying to be Captain Save-A-Hoe and more often than not try to offer a woman advice, and to help fix their lives. Women want to be in a love story, and more often than not, most guys are trying to give women advice and kind of act like a big brother when they’re trying to get into their pants. And when you do that, you’re going to dry them up and you’re going to get yourself stuck in friend zone.

So it’s a bad way to go. So this particular email is from a guy who he read my book 3% Man once and he says he read Mastering Yourself also. It seems like it was several years ago and he never went back to it because he’s a brainiac. He’s a genius. He’s a total expert, a total ladies man, and he gets this stuff backwards and forwards. He’s just a genius. So he’s a little arrogant, a little full of himself. And he’s also been consuming a lot of Red Pill Content, probably where a lot of the arrogance comes from. And so he thinks he’s an absolute gift to the ladies.

But when you look at how he talks about, and how he interacts with the woman that he writes in about, he comes off as kind of arrogant and ignorant, inexperienced, amateur. So my goal is just to kind of bring him back down to earth, because it doesn’t serve him to blow sunshine up his ass, or encourage him to just keep walking around like he’s God’s gift to ladies. He’s got a knowledge gap, and if he doesn’t fill that in, he eventually will meet a woman who absolutely knocks his socks off and he will totally fuck it up. And I’m trying to help him avoid that because masculine energy grows through challenge.

So my goal is to challenge him so he does better because his behavior is unattractive and he’s not going to be successful long term with the attitude that he has. If he comes across a good, family oriented woman, she’s going to think he’s a jerk and not even give him the time of day. So let’s go through his email. Another thing that he’s doing often, besides trying to solve our problems is constantly arguing with this now ex-girlfriend of his.

And as good students of the book know, men who understand women do not argue with them. So that should be a sign that if you’re arguing with your girl all the time, that you’re not really doing what a 3% Man should be doing.

Viewer Email:

Corey,

Listened to the audiobook version of 3% Man and your other one a while back. Along with some others. I’m pretty attractive, go to the gym often, am ambitious, etc. I know all the rules.

Uh, no you don’t. You absolutely do not know the fucking rules.

But I think I know them too well.

Uh, no you don’t.

I’ve gone too far. I was sweet and kind and we texted “I love you” “miss you” etc. But she also called me Sir and Master often.

Yes, Master. So the woman is calling you, “Yes, Sir. Yes, Master.” You’re acting like a Dad or a big Brother telling her what to do. Captain Save-A-Hoe, don’t do that. Because what she’s basically saying is you’re drying me up.

I’ll spare you the details but trust me, I was very dominate.

Uh, well, you still got dumped. Women don’t dump men they’re head over heels in love with. They dump men they’ve lost attraction and respect for. And you got dumped.

And made decisions for my life purpose and my career and goals.

Well, that’s good.

And she always just went along. The tension was that I’m not rich yet and refused to be a simp and there was a lot of tension because I would get annoyed at all the societal pressure to take care of her. I got opportunities to study abroad, full ride scholarship. But I can’t take her with and it’s obviously the logical choice for me.

Well, you’ve got to do you boo boo, and your purpose and your mission come first. And if a great schooling opportunity with a full ride scholarship is calling your name, you’ve got to do it. And if she can’t come with you, well, you’ll have to do long distance. And she’s not down to do that. Well, you can meet somebody in college when you’re there. You shouldn’t give up your college or your career to please a woman, And especially one who’s dumped you. And I’ve seen many guys do that. So good on you for sticking to your guns when it comes to your purpose and your mission.

But when we would fight, I’d eventually say hurtful things about how she’s a burden and blah blah blah.

Yeah, that’s a good way to dry her up. Don’t do that. But again, if you really understood the book and all the rules, you wouldn’t be arguing with her. But you don’t because you probably just half-assed through it one time and thought, you’re a genius expert. Because like most guys that don’t read the book, they read it and they start getting laid and hooking up and they’re like, “Man, oh, I got this. I’m a Jedi Master. What’s Corey talking about? 10 to 15 times. He’s an idiot. With that fucking shaved head, dude. Dude, nobody needs to read a book 10 to 15 times.” But there’s so many subtle nuances in there, and you clearly missed them, because if you were a good student, none of this shit would have happened.

Well finally after two to three years of this she just told me she wants a break. Most of your advice videos are about guys chasing their woman away.

Uh, no they’re not.

I was way too cold and way too dominant.

It’s possible you were too much of a cold fish. And if she’s calling you Sir and Master, you were probably being too much of an arrogant jerk. Which, you know, obviously, we can kind of pick that up from the tone. And again, I see that a lot in the Red Pill guys. They get very arrogant and condescending towards women, like the women are just beneath them, and they’re so amazing. And women should bow down at their feet and kiss their ass. And when you act that way, I mean, chunky talked about that a number of times in the podcast over the years. It’s, you go from women loving you and wanting to be around you, to wanting nothing to do with you.

Just sexting and focused on career.

So he treated her like a booty call, not a girlfriend.

Not much magic and sweetness. What’s the solution? I admitted I need to be more kind to her and I also don’t want a long distance relationship. But in my mind, we were grinding together making sacrifices like this.

Again, you made all kinds of assumptions about her and her interests that just simply were not based upon reality. And you could ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. And the reality was you didn’t understand women and you didn’t work to fill in your knowledge gap, and it bites you in the ass. And continuing to have this ego is just going to continue to make things worse for you. And you’ll be chasing one woman after another, out of your life if you continue to act this way.

I rub shoulders with high IQ, ambitious girls who go to Ivy League schools. Is it unfair for me to compare them to her?

Nope.

Should I let her go and pursue someone on my new vibration?

Well, it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want you anymore. That’s why she dumped you and said she needed a break. So that tells me your impulse is to continue chasing and pursuing. And more than likely, at some point, as she started backing away, you started to pursue more. Until she said she needed a break. And so you don’t really realize what’s happened. And if you don’t think it’s your fault and you’re not willing to go back through the book and be a serious student, well, every girl you date after this is going to dump you for the same reason.

Or stop being a Red Pill douche and calm down a bit?

Well, the idea is to be cocky and funny, not an arrogant douche. And you see a lot of that with the Red Pill guys because they’re bitter and they’re pissed off and they’re angry that women didn’t choose them. And the reason being is every guy has women that are attracted to them, but most men don’t know how to stop talking and texting and chasing them out of liking them.

How do you balance this knowledge without being bitter and pushing women away?

Take it seriously and read the book. Because you got some attainable success. You got laid, but you weren’t able to maintain it. It was just it’s again, from reading this, it just seems like she was a booty call of yours and not somebody you really cared about, and vice versa. It wasn’t somebody who really cared about you either.

Just to add some context, I keep trying to pull her out of poverty and give tips and guidance and she always has some chaos in her life.

Again, this is what happens when you don’t know the book, because this is what you see in the movies. Mr. White Knight going to come in, Captain Save-A-Hoe, fix her life, solve your problems. And so you’re giving her advice at times, when all she really wanted you to do was listen and be a sounding board. But if you’re a high achiever, dating a low achiever, which is kind of what it looks like, she was a low achiever. Your values don’t align, your goals don’t align, and that’s just never going to work out.

Some deadbeat friend. So it’s not just that I am being a dick for no reason. It’s me climbing out of poverty and being stuck between two worlds.

Well, what’s going to happen is you’re going to leave people behind as you grow and you become better and you become more successful. And you have to recognize that she’s got to participate in her own rescue, just like you do. And it’s pretty clear that she’s not willing to do that. But yet you’re still trying to save her and fix her. You shouldn’t do that. And you should not be giving women unsolicited advice, because it just makes them feel like you’re not listening and you’re not capable of listening. And you’re more than likely when you were having your disagreement, she was probably going, “you never listen to me. You’re not listening to me.”

I know “comparison is the thief of joy” but damn, I am with these hardcore girls every day that are just as ambitious. Maybe I should just let her go, not fair to her.

Yep. Not fair to her. You should be following us in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Not trying to be Captain Save-A-Hoe and fix up a fixer upper woman who doesn’t sound like she wants to be fixed up.

But on the other hand, I need to reread your book and remember the full relationship nurturing aspect like you mentioned with Tom Brady.

Well, what we’ve learned about Tom after the fact is Tom is a little too soft and squishy with the ladies. He been able to skate on his talent and his looks his whole life. But when it came to being present and dating and courting his wife properly, making her feel heard and understood, he consistently fell short and didn’t date and court his wife, and guess what happened? Like I always say, and I mean it looked perfect from the outside. He’s, you know, celebrating the Super Bowl. There’s this beautiful supermodel wife with him and the kids. You’re like, wow. Tom Brady’s the luckiest dude in the world, right? He’s got it all.

But in reality, he was so focused on his career, he just neglected his wife and his family and he wasn’t present for her. And he’s too much of a nice guy. Just because I hear through the grapevine of women that he interacts with and people that know him, he needs to be a little bit more like Julian Edelman, Jules, and too much to a lot less of the nice guy because he, you know, again, he’s able to get his foot in the door with his reputation and his looks. But when he’s with a woman long enough, they’re shaking their head, walking away, going, damn. I mean, at the end of the day, as I often say, it’s in the book, if you don’t date and court your girlfriend or your wife, eventually somebody else will. And that’s what happened.

The Jujitsu instructor was willing to listen to Giselle when she was upset about things. He made her feel heard and understood, and eventually he started beating up her pelvis behind Tom’s back. And she checked out. Because she’s like, well, he’s never gonna get the message. He never listens. Nothing ever changes. So she was selfish and rode off into the sunset with a Jujitsu guy who really, compared to her, he has nothing. He’s just a regular dude. And you think, well, I thought, you know, don’t all beautiful women want rich, handsome guys with the six pack? Well, she had that, and she still dipped for a guy that had pretty much. Well, he didn’t have. I mean, maybe he’s a trust fund baby, but he’s a Jujitsu instructor. He’s not some independently wealthy dude.

I don’t know just hard to know if it’s the Red Pill shit, me prioritizing the grind at this fledgling stage in my life and eventually I will be ready, or if I am one of those type a people and will always push women away regardless of how successful I become.

So what you’re getting here in the end is his story. Oh, it’s not my fault. Well, I’m just this way.

Or if she is just not a good fit now that I have changed. 

Bob

Well, she’s not really a good fit. Period. Because your goals and values aren’t aligned. But if you go back through the book the first time you go through it, you’ll realize a lot of mistakes that you made that turned her off and caused her to feel this way. Because you’ve got to clean up your behavior. Because if you get a woman whose goals and values are aligned with your own, and you behave the same way, you’ll lose her for the same exact reason why you lost this ex-girlfriend whose goals and values are not aligned with your own. All I can do is gently lead and suggest and tell you what to do.

But if you want to be lazy, if you’re going to consume a lot of Red Pill shit, as you put it, from guys that are angry and bitter and pissed off at women, well, you’re going to become angry and bitter and pissed off at women. Same thing happened to Chunky. He had that happen to him in high school. But luckily his dad handed him my book, said, you need to listen to what Corey says. And he did. And he’s just the ladies love Chunky. Good vibes. All of them. They all say the same thing about him. Every girl I’ve ever introduced to him love, love Chunky. He’s good vibes. I hear it over and over and over and that’s what you want. You want women walking away from you going, man, that guy is fucking awesome. I’d love to hang out with him again. That’s what you want to be.

So again, you got to read the book 10 to 15 times. I say it for a reason because you’re making a lot of mistakes and you don’t even know that you’re making them. You’re just basically wanting to throw a label on it. Well, I guess just because I’m a high achiever, this is what’s going to happen to all women. It’s like, well, there’s a reason why women leave. There’s a reason why Tom Brady’s wife left him, and it’s because he didn’t date and court her properly.

Again, if you don’t date and court her properly, eventually somebody else will. And maybe you become rich and successful someday if you neglect your future girlfriend or wife in the same way that Tom did, she’s going to leave you for the same reasons and take half your shit. That’s just as inevitable as the Sun coming up in the East and setting in the West. If you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch.

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