How to find your people and your life’s passion, so you can reach your full potential and do what you consider to be great work.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a woman who says she has finally found the kind of people she dreamed of working with and a passion for the perfect type of job that fulfills her in every way. I discussed a previous email of hers several years ago in my video newsletter titled, “Life, Work & Relationship Balance.”
She details her journey over the past several years trying several different career and business paths, the challenges she experienced and what finally led to her dream opportunity, enabling her to finally enjoy going to a job she loves every day and feeling like she is doing exactly what she was put on this earth to do. She is surrounded by people who have high standards and who strive to be the very best in their industry. She experienced, but successfully overcame, her very own “dark night of the soul” type of moment, going from the worst of times to what is now the best of times. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of her email.
Dear Coach Corey Wayne,
I have written to you a couple of times over the last few months to share my progress on my YouTube channel about masculine and feminine energy.
(She started a YouTube channel a while back doing videos where she talked about masculine energy, feminine energy and some of her experiences dating, and she was really good on camera. It was part of her process.
Being successful is the result of sustained discipline to the process of being successful. Most people are unwilling and don’t have a good strategy to get them over the hump, to get them through the roadblocks, the challenges, the setbacks and the things that don’t work out.
It’s not easy going for the things you want in life. It’s a motherfucker. There will be plenty of times where you’re questioning yourself and asking yourself if it’s really worth it. When you can’t come up with anything else better than what you’ve set out to accomplish, that’s what keeps you going. It’s that compelling vision, that compelling mission, something that’s exciting, something that makes you jump out of the bed, excited in the morning about the day.
Until you have found that and you’re living that, you need to keep working to discover and refine that, experiencing, exploring and researching things that feel exciting or compelling to you, or things that you’re really curious about. It’s a process. It evolves.)
This is not about my channel, but it’s the last update I hope to send now, because I have an actual success story to share which, if it wasn’t for you and your followers, I would never have achieved.
(She also gives some credit to the rest of you that watch these videos, just because being in the comment section and talking amongst each other, the people in the community have helped give her reason to keep on keeping on. For those of you watching this video that are part of my community, you can thank yourselves as well, because you had a hand in her staying committed and her success.)
About 2 years ago, you made me a video called “Life, Work & Relationship Balance.” Back then, I was living what I had hoped would be my dream life, which turned out to be a massive learning experience on reality, people, patience and perseverance and at many times, a living hell. I actually planned my suicide at one stage.
(If you ever get to where things are that bad, there’s plenty of suicide prevention hotlines you can call and talk to somebody. Whenever you feel like you’ve hit the wall and you’ve tried everything, all you’re really lacking is another idea. Success is really just a process of elimination.)
Since then, I have been working on one thing at a time, as you say, ‘just trying to get a little better every day.’
(I’ve recently been reading Ray Dalio’s book, “Principles: Life and Work.” He ran Bridgewater Capital, which is one of the largest, most successful hedge funds in the world. He was one of the wealthiest and most successful people in the world, but when the market went the other way, it had a negative impact on his fund, and his company went from over one hundred employees to just him. He had to completely start over, which is a huge, humbling experience. This is the kind of thing the average person doesn’t recover from when they lose everything.
One of the reasons I love reading books by people like that is, you can learn from their mistakes. Any wealthy, successful person has had lots of ups and lots of downs. Many of them lose it all and then make it back again. The reason they make a comeback is, because they apply the things I talk about all of the time, which is the basic science of achievement fundamentals. This woman has applied this same mindset of thinking and approaching her problems, exploring the things that are emotionally compelling to her, to get to where she is now.)
In a nutshell, I would say on reflection that my biggest problems have been my inability to be in my masculine when I needed to be,
(Because masculine energy, even for a woman, is purpose, drive, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers, and if you’re going to become successful, you’ve got to be comfortable jumping into that energy. You need it to achieve. If you’re a woman, the key is to be balanced in being able to jump out of it, especially when it comes to your relationship life),
or being in my feminine with the wrong, weak people, when I should have stood my ground and negotiated for myself.
(That’s a similar kind of process I experienced in my own life with my business partners. It’s not so easy to just tell someone to fuck off. Sometimes you have to plan and strategize. Sometimes you have to wait for your opportunity and eat some crow.)
I have overcome so much self-doubt, started to actually believe that I am capable, made wiser decisions and stayed well clear of the wrong people and situations. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve walked away from, jobs I’ve left and pursuits that haven’t really been big passions of mine. I am no longer making my videos for this reason.
(You made YouTube videos to see how you liked it, and you were able to scratch that off your list. That’s how you figure things out. Sometimes when you go do something you’re really curious about, it is initially compelling to you, but after you do it for awhile, you realize it’s no longer that exciting. Then you’ll see something else or it triggers your imagination, and you realize it’s not something you really want. That comes when you’re immersed in your work and what you’re passionate about. You see opportunities.)
I’ve now become good at knowing what I want, where to find it and how to get it, and I could write a book on just the last 2 years.
(Now that you’ve done it yourself, you know how to do it, and that’s valuable. That’s another part of your talent stack. Maybe you’ll decide down the road to teach. Coaching is teaching after all.)
Last week, my mum told me about a luxury hotel which is owned by a famous chef, one of the best in the world. I was invited for an interview, spent the day there and offered a job on the spot. I am managing a section of rooms, some of which are over £1500 per night. It has been voted the best hotel in my country. I actually had tears in my eyes when I walked into the first room.
(You just know. You’re certain. It felt so right, you were overcome by emotion. That’s when you know, when you light up internally.)
I felt that after all the struggles, keeping going, never giving up and settling, that finally, I was standing in a creation of people with high standards, people who I thought didn’t exist. I felt I was finally ‘home.’
Today was my second day. They have barely had to give me any training, because I feel I have been preparing for this place my whole life.
(Just like me being a coach. I just started doing things I was curious about. Because of that passion and curiosity, I went and explored. I did it naturally and instinctively, because it felt right. I was compelled and internally driven to do it. The more you exercise what feels right internally, the more of these things you will experience in your life.)
The final thing is, these people are a different sort of person to everyone else I have met and run away from. They seem to be the best at everything – people skills, managing, designing, creating and enjoying. I finally feel I’ve found my people and my passion. I want to be there all day every day.
If it wasn’t for you, I would never have believed it possible for me to be where I am today, because until I got my foot in the door, you and your people are still the only people I’ve ever come across who take what you teach seriously and want to know and become their potential selves.
Thank you. I cannot wait for 2 years time!
(Thanks for that great success story, and congratulations on your success. It’s your birthright. Life is so much better now, because you’re in a place where you belong. And the hotel you’ve joined is now better, because your values are totally aligned with theirs. When you encounter people who love what they do, they have a passion for it and they’re really good at it, they make your interactions with them easy and effortless. That helps you have a more positive experience in life.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“In order to reach your full potential and do what you consider to be great work, you must love what you do. When you love what you are doing, you’ll do it out of sheer enthusiasm and joy for the work itself. It is fun and effortless, because it seems more like playing than working. When you love your life’s work, you will out work and out hustle any potential competitor, because most others will be working for money and not for the joy of the work itself. Passion for something internally compels you to become obsessed with mastering all of the essential details required for successful and competent execution.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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