Keeping Her Attracted When You’re Broke As A Joke, Struggling Or Have Addiction Issues

How to keep your woman attracted when you’re going through a rough time or have addiction issues.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss 2 different emails from 2 different viewers. The 1st email is from a viewer who lost his job a while ago and is struggling financially and working odd jobs to make ends meet. He noticed that she’s not as attracted as she was before he lost his job and he’s not sure what to do.

The 2nd email is from a viewer who met his now ex-girlfriend when he was struggling, but she still fell in love. However, as he struggled with various life issues, he got addicted to weed and alcohol and it changed how he was showing up. She dumped him because he changed into a different man than the one, she fell in love with. They are now hooking up again and he asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of their emails.

Well, I’ve got two emails I’m going to go through with you today. Both of these guys are going through difficult times where they’re struggling. And the first guy, he lost his job a while ago. And so, he’s been kind of working odd jobs to make ends meet, and he read the book. He read 3% Man 15 times up until the point he got a girlfriend and got into a relationship, which was like, I think he said a year and about seven, eight months ago.

So, closing in on a year and a half, a little more than a year and a half, he hasn’t been through the book. The key with learning The Book and most importantly, mastering it, is you got to read it, and you got to apply it. And when guys read it a bunch and then they get into a relationship, oftentimes they’re like, “Pfft, man, this is smooth sailing. Easy as pie, no big deal. I got this, I read The Book 15 times. I’m good.”

And then I set it down. They don’t go through it. And so, they don’t really have experience applying the relationship fundamentals, when they’re going back and forth between the book, and what they’re experiencing in life. In other words, their practice really kind of stops at the pickup skills and the dating and courtship stuff, but it doesn’t go into the relationship skills.

And so, they really never have a chance. Because that stuff really doesn’t come into play till six, eight months down the road, typically when you’re in a serious relationship. And so, he’s been kind of struggling, and they’re together, but he notices that she’s just not as attracted as she was a year ago. And obviously he’s concerned about that because he can tell she’s not as excited to be with him, because he’s going through a difficult time.

And so, the second email is a guy who, he met his now ex-girlfriend who was actually struggling a year ago this month. And he was able to apply what was in The Book, because it really doesn’t matter whether you’re broke or you’re successful. It’s all about your mindset, and your vibe that you give off. If you’re not bothered or uncentered by it, neither is the woman, typically.

That’s why there’s so many beautiful women that date guys that are broke as a joke and don’t have a pot to piss in, because they act like men. Because men who actually act like men and who are in a masculine, they’re really hard to find for the average girl. And so, this guy, things are going well. And then he started struggling. His way to deal with it was weed and alcohol.

And so, he said it changed how he was showing up, especially when they were arguing. And so, she broke up with him. And then he wanted to get back together. And he’s doing really well now and he’s hooking up. But, she’s not at the point where she wants to be exclusive or get back together. So, he’s just like, what do I do to keep things going? So, let’s go through the first guy’s email.

1^st Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

I’ve read your book once and have listened to it on Audible at least 15 times. (2 years ago.) I put down the book and headphones after I got into a relationship (now 1 year 7 months.

About a year and eight months. I guess at this point.

After she asked me to be monogamous with her. She was poly, but wanted to be with me exclusively, after she knew I was dating other women (ironic.) 

He puts in parentheses. How ironic. Women like you more if you’re popular with the ladies. And even though she had other guys and said she was poly, she’s like, “I only want to be with you.” She locked him down because he was the prize. He was the catch. And that’s the important thing.

Women are designed even though they complain about this and many of them, most of them, I would say, probably disagree vehemently with this. But the bottom line is, women like you more if you’re popular with the ladies. And they like you more if they have to win you over.

If you’re the prize, if you’re the catch, if you’re the one they have to seek the attention of validation of. It’s like everything women do. The hair, the nails, the war paint, working out, the yoga pants, dressing sexy. Everything is designed to get our attention. Women are designed innately. It doesn’t matter whether they agree with it or not.

And most of them will say it’s not true. It’s got to be 50/50. But the bottom line is women are designed to chase men. They do this innately and naturally. And that’s what’s beautiful about it doesn’t matter what people in different communities. Doesn’t matter what the feminists say. It doesn’t matter what the red pill guys say. Biology is biology.

You can bitch and you can complain about women’s true nature or whatever you want to call it. But at the end of the day, women, feminine women are attracted to masculine men who lead. And when the men stop leading in the relationship, they don’t feel safe. Because the man disappears in essence, the leader is gone. Who do I follow? Women don’t want to lead. They want to follow.

They’re designed to be penetrated by masculine strength. And if that masculine strength disappears, and typically what I found in my work is that you can flail and flop around and go through a difficult time for about 6 to 12 months without, you know, “oh, I’m depressed. I’m having a hard time.” Whatever happens to be.

They’ll typically stick around for about 6 to 12 months. And then if it goes beyond 12 months, especially a year and a half, they start looking for the exits. They get turned off, they lose interest in sex. Because they just don’t feel safe. And a woman biologically is not typically going to have sex with a guy she doesn’t feel safe with.

Doesn’t feel he can protect her, provide, handle things he’s supposed to handle as a man. That’s often why the intimacy disappears. Because he stops acting like the guy that she fell in love with. And if it goes on too long. Like I say in The Book, if you don’t date in court, your wife or your girlfriend, eventually some other guy is going to do that for you. Now, depending on her character.

High, character, high quality women, are just going to end the relationship and they’re going to move on, get their own place again. Take some time to heal, and when they feel ready, they’ll start dating again. Girls that are insecure, they come from broken homes, which there’s a lot of them, will typically line up another dude behind your back.

He’s just a friend and hang out, go to drinks, friendly drinks and things like that. And then, oops, he just ended up inside of me. It just happened. I couldn’t say no to him. And so, they’ll put themselves in a position to where they line up their replacement and in essence, what’s called monkey branching from their ex to be, to the new guy. And at the end of the day, if you act like a bitch, women are going to treat you like a bitch.

Doesn’t matter how good looking you are, doesn’t matter how much money you have. If you act like a bitch, women are not going to respect you and are going to walk all over you, and they’re going to treat you like dirt. That is just biology. It’s the way it is. So, understanding that, if you’re going to be the man and you’re going to be in a relationship, you have to provide that stability, or the masculinity, that container of masculinity, where she can relax and be feminine and follow your lead.

So, even though you’re broke as a joke, if you have a good attitude about it, and you’re like, “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll pick up another job, I got this, I got that, we’ll figure it out.” If you’re calm because masculinity is calm, she’ll be calm. If you’re freaking out about it, or you’re arguing and you’re laying on the couch drinking and smoking and playing video games and not doing anything, eventually she’s going to tire of that. She signed up to follow your lead.

And when you, for whatever reason, you going through a difficult time, or a rough patch, or you got addiction issues, if you stop leading, there is a time limit. And typically, like I said, you got about 6 to 12 months, maybe a year and a half. Doesn’t matter whether you’ve been together two years or 20, it’s they’re not going to stick around.

If you flail around and you stop being the man that they fell in love with, eventually they will leave you. Guys have the attitude of, “Hey, we’ve been together 20 years. I’m going through a rough patch. I felt that after all I’ve been through with her, I should be able to lean on her.” And what the guys do is they turn her into their mommy.

She loses respect, the sex goes away. She moves into the guest bedroom, or she kicks you out of the master suite, and you unknowingly move into the guest bedroom. Then she’s heading for the exits. And when there’s another guy that comes up in the picture, or the day after she moves out, your best friend is like, “Hey, I just saw your ex-girlfriend in this bar or this restaurant. She’s all over this dude.”

That was pretty quick. It depends on the character. How bad the breakup, and how bad life hits you in the face with unpleasant truths. It all depends on the character of the woman that you got into a relationship with. So back to our email. With that in mind, the solution for a guy that’s gotten off track, whether it’s weed or addiction, that’s a lack of discipline.

If you’re going to drink, do it sparingly. 80% of the time. You should be healthy 20% of the time, eat your chocolate cake, drink your scotch, smoke the devil’s lettuce, whatever it is that you’re going to do. But 80% of the time you need to be disciplined. And so, on average, you got 30 days in a month.

That’s about six days a month you can just have a blow out, drink, eat pizza, fried foods, chicken wings, whatever you’re going to do. And the rest time you got to be disciplined, you got to be squared away. You got to handle things. That’s what a man does. And so, the longer you flail around and the less. It’s like the timeline just compresses, until they start heading for the exits.

I just turned Audible back on, and realized I have been too vulnerable and honest… not being unclear with my feelings. Mostly after she and I have an indoor Olympics or a bob-the-nob session.

Well, the key thing from The Book, and again, this guy hasn’t been through it in two years, and now he’s coming back to the book in a panic, because it’s been a year and a half since he last listened to it. And obviously going through the book, he’s realizing, shit, I’ve completely reverted back to all this unattractive behavior that I was displaying before I came across Corey’s work.

And he can notice that she’s not as into him as she was. And so, what is the solution for that? Well, the solution is to get back to what’s in the book and start displaying the behaviors that are in there. Being the leader. And like in this case, this guy has been out of work.

Now that I have been out of work for some time, picking up small jobs, not having steady work. She’s aware that I am going paycheck to paycheck.

The important thing is it’s okay if you’re going to paycheck to paycheck. The point being is that you do whatever it takes to provide for you and your family. You hold up your end of the bargain. In other words, you don’t become one of her fucking children. You don’t want to become a child. You don’t want to turn her into your mommy.

That’s the quickest way for her to lose respect, romantic interest, and to make her pussy drier than an old haunted house in the middle of the desert. You don’t want to be that guy. And so, if you’re going job to job, it’s like you got steady work, you got steady cash flow. That’s the important thing. And at the end of the day, if you follow My Book, you should be picking up Mastering Yourself.

There is a lot of information here about how to get any job you want. There’s actually a video I did many years ago, probably 10, 12 years ago, called, “How To Get Any Job You Want.” You can Google Corey Wayne, “How To Get Any Job You Want” and watch that video. And if you do what’s in there, you will have more jobs. You’ll have choice with jobs. I’ve laid that out, I’ve taught this. This is what I use to get every single job I ever went after.

When I was in the corporate world, I went all the way up the corporate ladder to the very top of the construction industry and worked for the largest construction group in the world in the 90’s. Using this method of how to get any job that you want. I detail that in Mastering Yourself with specific real world examples from my own life and how I did it. It’s a very simple system that you can follow, and I’ve now revealed this to you.

You should know it, if you follow my work, but I don’t think you ever went through Mastering Yourself. It’s all in there. You can go through the quick Video. I think it’s ten 15 minutes long. “How To Get Any Job You Want.” If you do what it says within a matter of months, you’ll have plenty of work and it will solve this issue. And if a couple of months down the road you haven’t done it, well, then that tells me you’re a fucking lazy ass and that’s on you.

You deserve to have your girl leave you. Because as a man, you got to be disciplined no matter what. Every day you got to get up and say what I got to get done today before I go to bed. As a man, that’s a standard. That’s a minimum level of competency as a man. What must get done today before I go to bed, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if I feel depressed or I’m sad or I got PTSD, or I stubbed my toe, or I got turf toe or whatever it happens to be.

If life is hard, nobody gives a shit. Everybody’s got problems, you got problems, I got problems. And you know what? Quite frankly, most people don’t care. And they’re glad we have problems. And especially if we got more problems than they do, they feel a little bit better about their own shitty lives.

So, no matter what’s going on, life’s hard. Life’s tough, nobody cares. You have to be disciplined. Again, as a man, what do I got to get done today before I go to bed? What must get done today before I go to bed? What is the most important thing I need to do today as a man?

To provide for myself, and my family and the people that are depending on me. What do I have to get done today? Despite how I feel, despite the weather, what’s got to get done today? And do it. That’s what a man does. That’s what women love about us guys, because we handle things. It makes them relax. “He’s got it. I’ll just follow him. He’ll take care of it. Daddy’s got it.” That’s what you want.

Yet, she is still seeing my family and inviting me to see her family through the holidays. (Agreeing to future plans of concerts, stand-up. etcetera.)

So, these are all good things that show she’s still interested. It shows she’s still there, it shows she’s still on your team and she’s your teammate. But if you notice, like he was saying earlier, how he’s not unclear enough with his feelings. The important thing about affection and I love you’s and all those things. Women like you more.

And again, most of them are probably going to disagree with this, but this is a reality. Less is more. Scarcity creates value. It’s always better if she compliments you and says, “I love you more” than you say it to her. Simple as that. And if you notice, you’re doing it 80% of the time and she’s doing a 20% of the time, then you need to slowly back off over several weeks and say these things less, and do these things less.

And be busier with going out and finding another job and taking care of the things that you need to take care of as a man. Because if she comes home every day and you’re just sitting on the couch drinking, playing video games or whatever, smoking out, she opens the front door, and just a big cloud of white smoke comes out.

It’s cute and it’s funny the first few times, but when it’s six months later, eight months later, the phone, the electrics getting turned off. The water is getting turned off. You’re getting nasty notices from your landlord. The mortgage company is calling, the credit card companies are calling, and you’re just smoking out and checking out.

It’s like, that’s not leading. That’s basically saying, “I’ve decided to revert back to an immature child and flail around because I want a mommy.” And eventually she’s going to leave and you can go back to your mommy. But she ain’t going to be around to be your mommy. That’s not what she signed up for.

How do I flip the script after being too honest about how much I love her? How do I get her to pursue 70% of the time when I am at financial bedrock? 

Get your fucking ass out of the house and go find a job, dude. That’s what you do. Don’t be sitting around being a lazy ass when she comes home. You should be out making shit happen. That’s what you should be doing. If you’re just laying around the house doing nothing, it’s like, you’re displaying a lack of competency, and you’re displaying a lack of discipline.

That’s not going to make her feel safe. It’s not going to trust her masculine core. And if you guys are living together and you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to feel safe about potentially getting knocked up or getting pregnant because you’re not handling things.

How do I transition from being too open, to being unclear when this precedence has been set for months. I’ve been judging her attraction, and it’s not where it was last year.

Thanks,

Bob

Well, like I was saying a minute ago, it’s just slowly back off until she’s saying it more than you are and be busy doing the things that a man is supposed to do. If she sees that you’re out there trying and you’re busy and you’re getting after things and you’re making things happen, you’re going on job interviews, you’re calling employers. Again, this video I did is called, “How to Get Any Job You Want.” It’s like 10, 15 minutes long.

I think it’s a simple system. If you follow what’s in there, I promise you, you will have more jobs than you could possibly work. If you got three or four companies trying to hire you, guess what? You can use that to get them to actually end up paying you more than they would of, if that was only your only job prospect.

Again, I go into extensive detail in Mastering Yourself, and it’s free to read on my website if you go to UnderstandRelationships.Com subscribe to the email newsletter.

The books will open up right in your web browser and you can read them there. It costs you nothing other than your name and your email. So if you don’t do that, if you don’t watch the video, “How to Get Any Job You Want”, then you deserve what you get. The stuff is there. But you must participate in your own rescue. That’s what men do. We participate in our own rescue and we handle things.

And if you do that, if you’re busy handling things and you slowly back off with all the drooling all over her, and I love you’s. Because probably more than likely, you maybe feel a little guilty because you’re flailing around financially, that maybe you’re laying it on a little thick. Maybe you’re saying, “I love you” a little too much because you’re trying to reassure that you care.

Because you can tell that she’s not as interested. And at the end of the day, the harsh reality is women only care about how they feel about you. They don’t care how much you love them, or how much you compliment them, or how much you drool all over them. The only thing that matters is how they feel about you. And so, do things that are laid out in The Book that make them feel sexual attraction, and respect for you, and all of your problems will be solved.

I’ve given you all the solutions you need. They’re there. The videos, the books. Everything is free. I give all this stuff away for free, because I know that once you apply it, and you see that it works, then you’ll go buy a physical or digital copy or an Audiobook or whatever. But guys that are in this position, the help is there, the information is there, but you got to do the work. If you’re willing to do the work, you’re going to get the results. Pretty simple.

So let’s go to the second guy’s email.

2^nd Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

Merry Christmas and I hope you are well. I’ve read Your Book only twice but have seen pretty much every YouTube video you have.

Dude, I’ve got like over 3000 videos. It would probably take you a year watching full time to watch every single video. I don’t see how you could have watched every video, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.

And was after some expertise. At the lowest point of my life (change of career, family friends’ issues) in January 2023 I met the woman of my dreams randomly. We started as friends with benefits.

Well, remember, when guys are not stable, what do we typically prefer to do? We prefer to have friends with benefits, sex playmates, fuck buddies, that kind of thing. Not exclusive relationships. It’s just us. We feel more comfortable that way. And so, in this case, he’s just hanging out, having fun, and hooking up and being a man, being a leader. Even though he’s going through a difficult time.

But both ended up falling in love within 3 months. Soon after I begun acting like a little bitch by over pursuing and forcing exclusivity and she split with me as she didn’t want commitment after 5 year relationship.

I went away for a month to do an intensive course related to my profession and came back strong and centered asking for another try at friends with benefits. So, we did, and I kept cool, unphased and naturally assumed my role as a man. She fell head over heels this time within a month and we ended up becoming exclusive without a label. I was happy with this.

See how that works? Act like a man. She’s all over you. You act like a bitch. She treats you like a bitch. Something that the dudes in the red pill community just do not get, and they don’t want to admit it. They don’t like it. They would much rather say it’s modern women and it’s not their fault. You got together with that girl.

You put a fucking ring on her finger. You’re the one living in a blue state, getting married, get divorced, losing half your shit. Before the ink’s even dry in your divorce papers, you’re already signing up for another marriage with a chick you barely even vetted. Then it goes sideways and you’re going to go cry in the internet. It’s like, bitch about women.

You picked her. You married her. You chose to be in a relationship with her. You chose to ignore the red flags. You chose to not vet her properly. You chose to not learn how attraction works. As the late, great Don Shula said, “Strong men blame themselves. Weak men blame others.” Get a lot of shit for that, but it is the truth.

But hey, negativity and Jerry Springer stuff does really well, because it agitates people. And with the internet and things to go viral, you got to agitate people enough and irritate them and speak an uncomfortable truth. And it’ll typically pay attention to what you got. It’s like, videos of car wrecks and people fighting or bad things happening are going to get way more views than somebody telling a bedtime story.

It’s just human nature. What are you watching? The evening news. If it bleeds, it leads. The worst things that can happen are on the news. And then it’s like you look at viral videos, what are they typically doing? Agitating. Or it’s a bunch of, you know, dudes berating a bunch of strippers or hookers and then trying to convince their audience, this is modern women. This is the modern dating poll. It’s like, please.

Progressively over 6 months we fell deep in love. Now about 2 months into our 6 month run I started abusing weed and alcohol heavily and it gradually changed my persona.

Yeah, because you’re checking out, you stop being disciplined. In other words, instead of 80% of the time being healthy, you’re like, 80% of the time, 90% of the time being unhealthy. It’s going to affect you. Weed is a tool. If you’re struggling, if you’re stressed. It’s nice to toke up a little bit. All the negativity goes away and you go, “Ah, here’s a solution.”

It can be a tool, but if you use it to just check out from life and sit in your couch and play video games and eat pizza and junk food and get fat and disgusting, that’s not good. That’s saying, “I’m going to not be a competent man”, and your woman is going to say, “I’m not going to be with you.”

She’s a high value girl and towards the end asked me “What’s up baby? Why are you still not on your feet yet?” etc.

Remember, 6 to 12 months. I’ve been doing this 20 years. I’ve seen this countless times. 6 to 12 months you get. Even if you’ve been together 20 years, 30 years. It doesn’t fucking matter. If you don’t get your shit together. You got 6 to 12 months. Typically is a time limit for girls ready to tap out. Or needs space. Or goes and stays with her mom.

As she was witnessing the many issues in my life, largely contributed to, or at least not helped by, weed and alcohol. She split with me in November again for various reasons but mainly because of how I spoke to her in arguments etc. and that I didn’t hear her and how stressed she was with her master’s degree/life in general.

Yeah, he stopped making her feel heard and understood. Because he was under the influence of alcohol and weed. If a woman feels heard and understood, the legs open, and if she doesn’t, the legs close. That’s just a fact of life. You got date and court her properly. She got to feel heard and understood.

When I am talking to guys in long term relationships, it’s 99% of the reasons why it went sideways. They don’t date and court her properly, or they’re not making her feel heard and understood. In this case, came right out. Doesn’t make her feel heard and understood. Plus, he’s not acting like the man she fell in love with.

She also had some health worries. Which is no surprise since I couldn’t even remember what I had for breakfast some days.

Yeah, you’re fucked up all the time. And it’s like she’s telling you things and you’re forgetting. It’s like, that goes over like a lead balloon. She’s like, “He’s not even listening to me. He doesn’t care.”

If you don’t listen. It means you don’t care. Simple as that. And when a woman realizes after enough period of time that you just don’t care, eventually again, she’s going to lose interest and respect and start looking for the exits.

However, we have been hooking up since our “break up.” Now I will admit, I only got sober recently.

Good for you, dude.

But I hid it well from her during the duration of our time. She said she was confused how I turned from the guy she fell in love with to almost a stranger, especially in arguments.

Yeah, you probably went from being calm and being a good listener and getting her to talk. To just wanting to argue with her. And eventually she’s like, “Why? He’s not listening.” He’s doesn’t want to hear, like, you know, “You’re not listening.” You’ll hear that a lot. It’s because you really don’t make her feel like you care or want to listen.

This hurts me, because I know it was largely to do with my abuse. But I never told her this. I want her back coach. Should I admit I had an addiction that I was fighting to overcome? For context the only time I wasn’t drinking or smoking was when we were together. It was painful to even admit to myself that I had a problem, considering my ethics on abuse and the high pace profession I’m in.

I noticed you don’t have a video on this topic. I figured it might help me along with some other men out there.

Kind regards,

Bob

Well, at the end of the day, you confessing that you had a drug and alcohol addiction. Is that going to make you look more attractive? Is that going to make you look more competent? Is that going to make you a more desirable man? Or is it going to make you look undisciplined and like you lack self control?

You could just say, “You know, I’m sorry, babe. I haven’t been present, this last year has been a motherfucker. But you know what? The best thing to happen to me in 2023 was meeting you. And, you know, I appreciate you sticking with me. And I know I went through a tough time and I haven’t been fun to be around.”

And it’s like, “I took it out on you. And I wasn’t my best. And I’m sorry I did not show up as the man that you deserved. And you rightly noticed that I was not the same guy you fell in love with. And I’m sorry I let you down. But you know what? I’m doing my best and things are better now. I’m going to keep moving in the right direction. So we’ll see what happens.”

So everything that you phrase needs to be phrased in a, “Hey, I was going through a difficult time, but now I’m through the worst part of it coming out the other side. I can see clearly now the rain is gone.” Again, think of it. If it’s positive, it’s like I just went through this difficult time, all these family things, and it’s like, “I don’t want to burden you with this stuff.”

“Oh, well, just tell me. Share your feelings.” Like, “no, baby, I’m not going to burn you. It’s a lot of crap. You don’t want to hear it. Besides, I want to put it behind me. We’re through the worst part. Things are getting better every day, and I’m excited about the future. We’re having so much fun together.” Whatever happens to be. Hang out, have fun. Hook up.

Remember, doesn’t say hang out, confess all your deepest, darkest secrets and all the worst things about you, and she’ll love you more. It’s like, nah, doesn’t work that way. If you need to confess, I was addicted to drugs and alcohol or whatever. Obviously you got me and the rest of the viewers, but you should have your friends. Or maybe your therapist, or whoever. You don’t share this.

This is just not going to help your girl, especially when you’re trying to re-attract her to make you look weak and like you’re undisciplined and you lack self control. Just tell her you were going through a really difficult time and you appreciate the fact that, you know, she stuck it out. And she’s still here, and you love that about her and you appreciate that about her.

Because it’s better if you’re like, “Hey, I had this problem, but here’s the solution. I’m implementing it.” Or, “Hey, I went through this difficult time, but now things are going great.” That’s what you need to tell her. Because that’ll make her feel reassured. She’ll be like, “Ah, my man is handling things.” If you’re like, “Oh yeah, I was addicted to weed and alcohol and I couldn’t get out of bed and I was hiding it from you.”

Then what’s going to happen then? She’s going to be suspicious. This should be like the next time you slip up three or four months, she’d be like, “is he drinking again? Is he doing weed again?” What do you think she’s going to do? “Are you smoking weed again? Are you drinking it every day? What’s going on? You’re acting weird lately. Is it the addiction?” She’s going to throw it back in your face. It’s not going to be helpful.

Because again, she’ll do that because you’re making her feel differently towards you. So you’re not going to get any credit for this. It’s not going to make you look more attractive if you go, “Oh, I had, I drank too much and I was smoking the devil’s lettuce.” It’s not going to help. “I was going through a rough patch.” You know, it’s like dealing with the IRS. You only tell them what they need to know. It’s a need to know basis, right?

Or same thing. You talk it to the po-po. Only tell them what they need to know. Pretty simple. If tried not to know, keep mouth shut. If it’s not going to make you look more attractive and masculine and like you got your shit together, keep it to yourself. Save it for your therapist. Save it for me. Save it for your beer drinking buddies.

But do not vomit all of your problems and your shortcomings and your fears onto your girl. Because that’s going to give her a reason to doubt you, and not trust your masculine core, and use all those things you thought you were just sharing with her to be vulnerable. And then she’s going to throw it in your face every time she gets scared that you’re falling down on her. Don’t do it. Be much better that way.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.