Love Yourself First

Jan 20, 2016 by Coach Corey Wayne
Photo by iStock.com/Neustockimages

Why you must learn to love, accept and be proud of yourself first, in order to meet, date and keep the kind of women you’ve always wanted in your life.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who is in college and met a woman who knocked his socks off during the summer break from college. They had a passionate love affair that ended at the end of the summer, because he over-pursued her. She blew him off and never returned any of his messages or calls. The following summer, he ran into her again. By this time, he had read my book and had no interest in dating her again, because of how she treated him. However, she introduced him to her hot single sister. They hit it off and have been dating ever since. She is crazy about him.

The second email is from a successful Heavy Metal musician who recently discovered my work. He realized why he was always successful with women when performing. It was due to the fact he loved what he was doing and loved his life. He also mentions how he noticed his musician friends who did the best with women were successful because they had the most passion for their music, not because they were bad boys. It was about their mission and passion, not women. Because of this, women threw themselves at them. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of their emails.

Love Yourself First

First Viewer’s Email:

Hi Corey!

I would just like to say, you are my hero! I’ve been following you for a few months now, have read your book four times and am currently on my 5th time reading your book. I don’t plan to stop until I have read it at least 15 times.

Worried man using cell phone.

In September of 2014, I was heart broken. I met this gorgeous girl, blonde, tan, fit, you name it. She was at least a 9. We had a crazy summer of hooking up at my house, and it was the best time of my life. However, towards the end of the summer, I started to over pursue her and got too over attached. She ended up blowing me off and didn’t bother to return any of my texts. (The woman starts to back away, and the guy thinks he’s got to do something by calling and texting more, trying to force things. I call this “The Illusion Of Action.” If the guy doesn’t stop, the woman will wind up ignoring him and blowing him off. ) She ignored me for 7 months and then out of the blue asked for help picking her college classes, which I refused to do. I was hurt for months until I found your work in the summer of 2015. This time I did not chase after her. I grabbed my nuts for once in my life and told myself, I deserve someone better, because I value myself as a man. (That’s the key. When you value yourself, you won’t allow people to walk all over you.)

iStock_000080009627_Small
Relatioship concept. Happy young couple sitting in the park, smi

That summer, my ex introduced me to her sister, and we hit it off from the start. I was instantly attracted to her, and we had more in common than I thought. (Remember, like attracts like. Since she’s the sister of your ex, they’re going to be very similar.) At that point, I had already read your book a couple of times, and I was set on what I had to do. I initially set up one date a week, and I got the hell off the phone like you said in your book. She commented to me that I was mysterious and how I was “so busy all the time.” (It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. If you give them time and space away from you to wonder about you and think about you, they will simply like you more.) She also told me about all these guys who would blow up her phone and CHASE HER, and how she liked me because I was not all in her face like all the other guys! (These beta males were pursuing her and getting nowhere, but she chose you, because you were the only one that acted like a man) Ha-ha, textbook Corey Wayne. I’ve been with this girl for two months now, and she is completely all over me, because I have applied your principles. (You’re simply acting like a natural alpha male is going to act instinctively.) She does 100 percent of the texting, Snapchatting and calling. I don’t have to do anything. (Feminine energy is all about bonding, connecting, and opening up to receive love. That’s what women do, but it doesn’t happen right away. The guy does have to pursue at the beginning to start the courtship off, but once she feels safe and comfortable and the attraction level starts to grow, she’s going to start to reach out.) At one point, after 3 weeks, she didn’t reach out to me for one day, and instead of coming unglued like 97 percent of the guys, I waited and let her come to me at her own pace. (It was her idea. In other words, she felt your strength. You didn’t become diminished when you didn’t hear from her.) The cat had left the neighborhood, and I was simply living my life and pursing my purpose, until WHAT DO YOU KNOW? The cat came back! (If the attraction is there, they will come back. Check out my article and video, “Why Women Prefer To Chase Men.”) The next day she reached out to me and sent me pictures of a Halloween costume she found and told me, “This made me think of you.” (When you hear those things, that’s when you set the next date.) Right then and there, as you state in your book, I kept the conversation short, set up our next date, and got off the phone. (Women will pick up on this. When you make the date, it reassures women that you really care about them and want to see them. Then when you actually see them for the date, They’re excited to see you. Their attraction level for you has gone up even more.) Not to mention, she has even told me multiple times how guys check her out and stare at her at malls, school, and at the store. Most guys would come unglued and act all jealous, BUT NOT ME. With a James Bond look on my face, I always respond with, “Well babe, I take that as a complement that I have a great taste in women.” (Great comeback dude.) When she first heard me say that, she smiled and said, “Awww, that was so sweet of you to say. I’ve never heard a guy say that before.” (Because she’s obviously never dated a real man before.) To this day, she continually texts me, sends me kissy faces and flirts with me every day. (When a woman’s in love with you, they’re all over you all the time. You don’t have to do any pursuing. It’s her idea to bond and connect with you.) I see her all the time! She has not blown me off once, (Because she respects you and she values you. She had to earn your time), and if she happens to be busy, she always takes me along with her. (They want your attention all the time when they’re in love.)

Handsome Muscular Male Model With Perfect Body Doing Pull Ups

Corey, I don’t know where I would be without your work. You changed my life, not only with relationships, but I’m in the gym 5 days a week working on weight training and cardio training. In addition, I am finishing up my degree to be a teacher. I wish you the best and hope that you can share this success story with others to inspire them to READ the book and apply your principles. PLEASE, PLEASE make this a YouTube video. I beg you! I really think people could benefit from this story. Thank you for changing my life and I hope to one day meet you sir! (You did the work. At the end of the day, you did the right thing, and that’s why you’re getting effortless results. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, because you’re acting the way man is supposed to act.)

Sincerely,

Bob

PS. I’m still reading your book, I refuse to get cocky and I plan on doing this right! (Yes, because you had all of that pain of getting rejected by her sister.)

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hi Corey,

Young man reading a book in a cafe.

I like your work. You are the best there is at conveying how to act like man. The “pick up artists” don’t convey the inner man, just a bunch of superficial crap. (I’m a life coach, not a dating coach. I focus on everything, and I teach self-reliance. That’s what I’m all about.) I just got your book, more for the reason to reaffirm some things I used to apply in times past. I’ve been out of the dating scene for some time, due to substance abuse issues and various shit, which happens to some of us former heavy metal musicians sometimes, sadly enough. I’m good now, had to learn to build character and self like again.

He's her man!

I notice a common theme in your videos, and think at this point would make a good video for your followers, “self-security.” (It’s about loving yourself and seeing your own value. Remember, scarcity creates value. The greatest gift you can give anybody is the gift of your time, so don’t give your time away to just anybody like it means nothing. If you do, people will treat you like you and your time are worthless. Go where you’re celebrated and invited, not where you’re tolerated.) I feel the most important point for us men to get is being secure and good with one’s own company. (Once the newness wears off, can you have fun by yourself? That’s the important thing, because eventually, the newness and the infatuation is going to wear off in any relationship. If you were not a happy person before the relationship, once the newness wears off, you’re going to realize this other person can’t make you happy. This will cause you to stop putting your best foot forward, and you will sabotage your relationship, because you don’t feel enough self love. You can’t give away what you don’t have for yourself.) I constantly see guys stressing about how a girl feels about them. That’s what women do – fantasize and daydream. The more important part is how does a guy FEEL ABOUT HIMSELF! (Absolutely. It’s about the relationship you have with you. If you don’t like yourself, you’re not going to allow somebody else to like you either. People will act consistently with who they view themselves to be, whether that view is accurate or not.) When we like ourselves, not narcissistic self-love shit, others are attracted to that. We’ve all got our insecurities in life, (We all have flaws and idiosyncrasies, but at the end of the day, if you can love and accept yourself, then you’ll allow other people to love you as well.) but these are things we as men should deal with within ourselves, and not dump on women. (They should be your lover, not your mommy. Guys who over pursue women are contacting them because they need reassurance.) When a guy dumps these issues on women with incessant calling, texting, stalking type behavior, women pick up on that and won’t feel secure/comfortable being in the company of a man like that. (Yes, they sense something is really off.) In other words, the times I do feel insecure about something in myself, I damned well WON’T LET A WOMAN know it! (Women will put up with you being sad or depressed for a short period of time, but when it goes on too long, they don’t want to be the man in the relationship. You have to feel it to heal it, move through it and not let it diminish you or destroy you. You shouldn’t use it as an excuse to do nothing.)

iStock_000001813648_Small

Here is why us rock stars always got the girls, and why girls flocked to us… you already know this, but your followers might not; we didn’t give a shit or stress if a woman liked us or not. We got off on the music, the vibe, the passion, the experience. (When you get to a high level of success, it’s because you love what you do, and you’ve really rehearsed it through time and repetition, over and over. When that passion is there and you are totally congruent and aligned with your purpose, women can sense that. That’s what masculine energy is.) The most passionate musicians got the most girls. It wasn’t really about how we looked. I had friends who didn’t understand this, even some fellow musicians. Every one of them DIDN’T LOVE THE MUSIC, the experience. They were lacking the passion and just were going through the motions. Basically, if a girl wanted to hang with us, cool. It made it all the much better. If not, cool. I’ve got my drums and the show. (You are going towards your dream and passion and women want to receive that strength.)

P.S. I was never a “bad boy.” That’s all bullshit anyway. Women do want nice guys, but a real nice guy is not a weak wimp stressing about the girls; he likes himself, and has passion and focus. Hell, a guy can be passionate about being a burger flipper, and he will get plenty of girls, BTW! (Exactly. It’s about loving what you’re doing. When you’re happy and love what you’re doing, you’ll have enthusiasm. Quite frankly, most people in this world really aren’t living. They’re existing.) I’ll bet your book talks about this.

Take care bro, and best of continued success to you!

Bob

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From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“In order to be successful in your intimate relationships, you must love, accept, value and have a great relationship with yourself first. You can’t give away what you don’t already have for yourself. After all, love is about giving. If you can’t have an awesome time by yourself, you will never be able to be happy in your relationships. Why? When we depend upon people or things outside ourselves in order to be happy, eventually we will realize we are unhappy, and it will become nearly impossible to sustain the relationship or our success. Therefore, in order to have great relationships, we must first create a life and lifestyle that is compelling, fulfilling and that we are proud of. When you are proud of yourself, your life and your journey, even if you are not where you ultimately want to be, you’ll make yourself so attractive, others will become excited about joining you to be a part of it.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on January 20, 2016

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