My Ex Ghosted Me & Then Contacted Me Months Later. Why?

Why a woman will ghost you without explanation & then contact you months later.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who was dating a woman for about 10 months. 6 weeks later when they returned from vacation abroad she ghosted him without explanation. Then she reached out about 6 weeks later, but canceled their date. She suggested a walk months later, but never made plans. He wonders why she would do this. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “My Ex Ghosted Me & Then Contacted Me Months Later. Why?”

Well, this particular email looks like this viewer came across a woman who was kind of like a complete psychopath. So they dated for about ten months. He went traveling abroad, and then about six weeks after they came back from their vacation, he’s thinking, “I met the one.” And his family was kind of going, “ah, I don’t know.” The women in his family were like, this girl probably would. She’s the type of person to be married to you for 20 years, and then just all of a sudden serve you out of the blue with divorce papers and you don’t even know anything’s wrong.

And so, sure enough, shortly thereafter, she just completely ghosted him. No explanation. And then about six weeks later, she reached out. He was trying to follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Makes a date to make dinner, and then she cancels. Doesn’t hear anything for a while. She reaches back out, suggested that they go for a walk, and he asked her when she was free. Tried to make plans to do it. She says, I don’t know. I’ll let you know. He doesn’t hear anything.

And so months later, he’s in a grocery store and kind of sees her out of the corner of his eye, and he just pretended like he didn’t even see her. And he hasn’t heard anything. And he’s just like, why would somebody do this? So at some point you’re going to come across somebody that will behave this way. Maybe somebody you know them, and to spend ten months in your life and to travel and then just disappear without any kind of explanation. That’s not normal behavior. That’s somebody that’s got a few screws loose. That’s kind of like Froot Loop behavior.

Just to disappear from your life without any explanation. You think you’re in a relationship, and next thing you know, it’s like she just doesn’t return your calls. You never hear anything. And so he also kind of heard through the grapevine apparently she’s been seeing another guy. If you date enough women, these kinds of things are going to happen. So you need to understand what’s going on, why it’s happening, and what you should or shouldn’t do. When you should give her a chance. When should you just let her go on down the road.

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach,

I love your videos and your book! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with men all over the world! God bless you! I wanted your advice and critique on this recent relationship I was in. I am a 50-year-old man of Indian descent but have live in California since I was 2. I dated a girl for almost 10 months. Thinking she was “the one”. She was sweet, agreeable and seemed kind. I liked her because she worked was educated (being Indian that’s very important in my culture). This girl was non-Indian and Caucasian.

Typical white woman, I guess.

She seemed like a girl that could benefit a family and hold her own. I truly fell for her. We had gone a trip to a Middle Eastern Country together.

We went Dutch, I didn’t pay for it or the airfare.

We had a magical time for about 9 months. I met her parents too. A close relative of mine also met her. Being a woman, she could see right through her where I couldn’t.

So that tells me he kind of had the beer goggles on, if you will. The blinders. He had the rose colored glasses. He’s still in the honeymoon period, and he’s basically completely focused on his interest and her and how much he likes her and is completely ignoring the fact that it’s not reciprocated. And so he gets around another woman because probably more than likely he had built her up. So this was great. I’m probably going to marry her. And then as soon as one of his relatives meets her. She’s like, yeah, that’s, survey says [makes an X with his forearms]. So women tend to know.

She said that although she is not “evil” she is very cunning, you will never know what’s in her heart. She’s the kind of woman who plays the game to move up the corporate ladder, like she’s trying to become partner at a big law firm. Very calculating.

I have one of my really close friends was dating a woman, probably going back 15, 20 years ago. And she was an attorney. And my friend had retired with a golden parachute from a tech firm. He just trades his money, basically since ’98, ’99. He’s just, he doesn’t, he hasn’t worked. He’s an equity investor. He trades stocks. And so he’s dating this woman who was an attorney. I don’t know they dated maybe a year. And in all seriousness, they were having dinner one time and they were talking about the future and marriage and all this stuff.

And she said she would want him to sign a prenuptial agreement that basically said that if he ever cheated on her, she gets all his money and he gets nothing. And in her mind, she really thought that, that was something that he would agree to. He was like, “oh, that’s a good idea. Let me just sign over my personal net worth if there’s infidelity.” And after that, I remember having the conversation. I was like she said, because I had met her. I was like, really? And after that, he was just like any woman that’s thinking like that is, you know, she’s an Attorney. She’s calculating, very cunning, just kind of ruthless.

I mean, imagine the gall to say that to somebody. She didn’t earn any of that. Didn’t go through what he went through. And yet she thinks she’s just entitled if he were to screw up, that she gets everything of his and he’s basically be homeless at that point. I mean, it’s insane that she would think that way, but she did. And she was a little bit, a little bit of a psychopath. But, you know, she was an Attorney. So to her it was just a negotiation, because I guess she’d been cheated on in the past. So she thought, “well, that’ll fix the cheating. I’ll just get all his money if he ever cheats on me.” He was just like the fact that she even proposed that he was like, he dipped out of that relationship within a few weeks. And so this guy’s sister continues on.

She’s the kind of woman who you will be married to for 20 years, and the next day she’ll give you divorce papers. Well much to my chagrin after my trip with her about six weeks later, she just ghosted me.

I mean, he meets her parents. She meets one of his female relatives, and they go traveling and just no explanation, no return phone calls. Just like you’re dead to me. No explanation. I’ll just stop returning phone calls and blew the guy off completely. That shows she didn’t value him, didn’t respect him. And that’s just kind of psychopathic behavior.

I thought God heard my prayers and brought me a woman I would marry. She checked off most of my boxes. She then just ghosted me. About five weeks later she reached out to me, and I asked her out. She said yes, then two days before the date she cancelled. No counteroffer. Nothing.

So with that kind of behavior is pretty obvious. She’s dating and sleeping with another guy, and at that moment in time, the only reason she reached out is it didn’t look like things were going to work out. So more than likely she met somebody else while you guys were together, started spending time with him. And then when it looked like the relationship was going to work, she just didn’t even bother explaining to you.

Just rode off into the sunset with another guy. And like a true psychopath, she comes back into your life because things were looking rocky at that time. But the reason why she cancels two days before the date with no counteroffer, is because she decided she didn’t want to see him, or didn’t need to see him. Because whoever she was hooking up with, I guess whatever crisis they were going through, it resolved itself.

The Holidays went by. Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s. etc. All she did was “like” a picture of a sports car I took in my apartment building while I lived in Los Angles. I never contacted her. She never contacted me. When covid came. I did reach out to her to ask how she was doing.

Yeah, I wouldn’t have done that, dude. It’s like, come on.

About two weeks of correspondence, she told me if I’d like to go on a walk with her let her know. I said that would be great. Two weeks later I asked. She said she was “busy but would let me know when she’s free”. We all know that’s a stone-cold rejection.

So again, the only reason she reached out to second time is probably because things are looking sideways with the new dude, so she wanted to see him as a backup because she knew he was soft and squishy and would just be happy to see her. And of course, she blew him off again. No explanation. Never got in touch. Which again, it’s not like he went out on 2 or 3 dates and got ghosted from a girl he met online. This was somebody he was with. They kind of met some of each other’s family members, traveled together. He spent almost a year with her and then just poof. No explanation.

I let it go but was upset not that she “broke up with me” but the way she just ghosted me and gave me no closure and didn’t tell me she wanted to break up. I thought it was very disrespectful after you’ve been seeing someone for almost 10 months.

Yeah, that’s just kind of psychopathic behavior. That’s not normal just to, “poof”, ride off into the sunset. That’s the old famous, The Dear John letter. A guy comes home from work. House is empty. All his shit’s gone. There’s a letter on the mantle of fireplace saying, “Dear John, I’m leaving you and have a nice life.”

Any way fast forward, last month, by divine intervention.

So I assume, because this was, he probably hadn’t seen her for 4 or 5 years. Again, he never heard anything.

By divine intervention we crossed paths at our local grocery store. I was with a friend of mine and didn’t say anything to her. When we were checking out our groceries, she purposely came to the register next me. I said nothing and didn’t even acknowledge her. I walked out.

I bet that kind of felt a little good after all those years to see her. It’s like, yeah, I’m not even going to acknowledge the bitch is there. Good for you. Because at that point you’re kind of over it, hopefully.

Later I’ve found out that she’s been seeing some other guy probably around the time she ghosted me.

Yeah, so that tells me she was probably cheating on you and sleeping with the other guy. And when it looked like it was going to work out, she just stopped responding to you and gave all her attention to him. But you heard from her on two different occasions when things were looking a little rocky, but things resolved themselves. She stayed with them. And that’s why you never heard from her. So it’s cruel. It’s mean. It’s not nice.

Again, a good human being that was raised right is not going to do that. At least they’re going to tell you that they’re breaking up with you and why they’re breaking up, and they no longer want to be with you. That should be the bare minimum. But she didn’t even think it was worth her time to let him know. She just left him twisting in the wind. There’s an old song. “She’s as cold as ice.” Foreigner or something like this. From the, from the 1980s. It’s, you know. So this is not new behavior in women.

You know, there were big, uh, “she’s as cold as ice.” I can’t remember what the name of the song was. Maybe you guys can put in the comments. I think it was a foreigner song. Maybe. I’m not really sure. But, you know, it’s clear because some of the big, you know, hits from the 1970s, 1980s. Those, love, sappy love songs. It’s like that’s what happened. Guy thinks he’s in love and found the one. He’s with a great girl. Then she’s just cold, runs off with another dude, doesn’t give a fuck. And then the guy’s like, what the hell happened?

Am I wrong in saying that she was trying to play me and see if I was still wrapped around her finger?

Well I wouldn’t look at it as she was trying to see if he were wrapped around her finger. She was just trying to see if she could hang out with you again, or hook up with you again, or potentially date you if things didn’t work out with the new guy that she was obviously cheating on you with. That’s all it was.

I didn’t think it the first time when she asked out for a walk, but when I saw her at the grocery store and her coming up to the register next to me, I think she wanted me to say hello to her, and I said nothing. If she would have said hello, I would have said hello, but I said nothing and walked out. Did I do the right thing?

It’s what I would have done. I mean, she didn’t acknowledge you. It’s been years. You got no explanation. So. Hey, you know. Revenge is a dish best served cold. So if you’ve moved on and you’re happy and you see somebody out of the corner of your eye that treated you that way, and it’s been 4 or 5 years since you heard a peep from her, it’s like, she’s dead to you and she deserved it.

Have you been with a woman this cunning?

I’ve never dated somebody that was that psychopathic. But, you know, I’ve been doing this 20 years. I’ve seen this pattern. It’s just, you know, that chick’s not raised right. It’s something wrong with her.

Was she trying to see if I was still interested her so she could get validation?

Let me know.

All the best.

Bob

Maybe? It’s probably just coming, hoping that you would notice her. But the fact that she probably noticed that you noticed her and then acted like you didn’t see her, that communicated just, like, “bitch, you’re dead to me.” And you know what? Good for you. Who knows, maybe she reaches out in the future. If she does, I’d be like, “What do you want? I just like. I haven’t talked to you in years. You just disappeared from my life with no explanation. I assume you met somebody else. And you know. So I assume you were cheating on me while we were together.

So it’s like if you got something to say, I’m happy or you want to get off your chest, I’m happy to hear it.” But I wouldn’t be trying to make dinner or date plans, especially if you got a female member of your family that saw right through the bitch. It’s like, don’t let this girl back into your life. She’s, it’s, the bad tuna. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. You know, it sucks, but these things are going to happen. And so if you spot the patterns, you can see and understand that, it’s like, there’s no fixing that. That’s just because if you take her back, she just, she cheated on you once, clearly. She’d do it again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

She’s a garbage human and good for you. I would bet on some level, it probably felt satisfying to act like you didn’t see her and walk out because, again, that’s basically how she treated you. So, you know, she can fucking kick rocks. Good for you for moving on. I wouldn’t give her another chance. Even if she reaches out. I would just have the attitude of, “hey, well, you know, you disappeared from my life with no explanation. I assumed you were cheating on me with somebody else. If you got something that you want to get off your chest, I’m happy to hear you out or listen to you. But, you know, other than that, I don’t really want anything to do with you. You’re just not a good person.”

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