Some online dating and seduction secrets you can use to effortlessly, successfully turn your online dating prospects into lovers and girlfriends.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who discovered my work only recently. He details how he met a woman in person for their first date, what they did and how the date ended with only a kiss on the cheek.
He also discusses how she contacted him a few days later and he set the second date, what they did on the date and how he set the conditions to seduce her successfully, even though he only got the cheek on their first date. He still made some minor mistakes, but he did everything else so well that he was able to seduce her successfully. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I discovered your work recently and wanted to write about a recent experience that shows me just how brilliant and helpful your coaching has turned out to be already.
(Don’t get cocky dude. Read the book 10-15 times.)
I met this hot Asian woman on Match.com just over a week ago who’s 8 years younger than me. But you know how beautiful Asians are — she looks 20 years younger, (I’m in my 50s).
(That’s awesome. Unlike the other dating apps, on Bumble, if there’s a match, the woman has to contact you withing 24 hours. She is doing the pursuing and has to reach out to you first, which is totally aligned with the things I teach, because if she’s chasing you, you don’t have to worry about getting blown off. Women get bombarded by dudes that are impatient and insecure, and they may wait to respond to you. They may do that on purpose, because they want to make sure you’re not a fucking lunatic, so you can’t get butt-hurt about that.
Remember, it’s kind of like a game of tennis. You hit the ball over the net, and then you wait for them to hit the ball. So, typically what I will do is, after three or four messages, I will say, “I’m not on the dating app very often. It’s much easier to get a hold of me through text,” and I will send them my number. I’ll say “Text or call me if you want, or shoot me your number, and I’ll give you a call.” Then we’ll start texting, and I’ll schedule a call where we can actually talk. Depending on the woman, sometimes it might be 15-20 minutes that we talk and then we arrange a date to get together, and other times I’ll talk to up to 45 minutes to an hour, because I’m not so sure I want to meet her.
You want to make sure that you jive with the person. If the conversation doesn’t flow very well, you may want to talk a little longer. If the conversation is not easy and effortless on the phone, it doesn’t matter how hot they are. Why the hell would you want to meet them in person? So use the phone and technology to screen them out before you decide to pull the trigger and meet up for a date.
You have to read the book 10-15 times and practice a lot, because if you tend to have a little success, it can go to your head a little bit. If your emotions are engaged, you really like this woman and you want it to work out, you start to convince yourself that this woman is the one for you, you start trying harder and you can revert right back to the old kinds of behaviors that lead to you getting ghosted, friendzoned or hearing “I don’t feel there’s a spark” or “I’m not ready for a relationship.” So you’ve got to take the time and prepare.)
Our first date was just over coffee and it went well.
(That’s a great, cheap first date. For $6-8 you can get a cup of coffee or hot cocoa, hang out and see how the conversation goes, because if you’re doing online dating, there’s going to be a chance you’re going to meet women that aren’t going to look as good in person as they do in their picture. And if that happens, it’s just a quick cup of coffee and it’s easy to bail. But you also should have two or three other places that you can go to if the date goes well, because the process of seduction is to get closer and closer to a woman until you eventually end up inside of her.
Statistically, the reality is most women sleep with a guy by the second or third date. ABP, always be prepared. Always assume that you’re awesome. And if you click and a woman likes you, you like her, and she’s not structured and following a bunch of rules, fucking go for it. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Live and enjoy your life is the way I look at it.)
The next day, I invited her to dinner one night during the week, so we scheduled a date for Wednesday. In the time between Sunday and Wednesday, I realized from reading your book that I should not be doing the pursuing. Normally, I would’ve blown her phone up, but I refrained. Our dinner went well on Wednesday, so I suggested we go to a nice bar a block away for drinks. Thanks for the great strategy!
(Again, that goes to the logistics of sex. If you’re driving 45 minutes to meet her somewhere, are you going to drive 45 minutes back to your place?)
We spent another hour having fun and getting to know each other, then I walked her to her car and said good night. When I went in for a kiss, she turned her head and only kissed me on the cheek, and that ended our date.
(It sounds like you went out for coffee, and you’re calling her the next day. That’s a little too soon dude. You’re rushing it a little bit. As you said here, you would have normally blown up her phone, so you typically act over-eager and try to too much, too soon and rush things. This is how most guys are with women. The average attractive woman has been out on enough dates with enough guys to know that they like to go slow. Patience pays. Busy, professional women are going to appreciate that, and it will make you stand out from all the needy, insecure jackasses that they’re talking to.)
I waited for her to text me the next day, thanking me for a fun evening. I immediately asked when she was available to see me again.
(That’s a good sign. Even though you did two or three dates in a really short period, it worked out okay. Obviously she had a high level of attraction. The higher the woman’s initial level of attraction is for you, the more screw ups you can have and the more you can get away with two or three dates in a short period of time without turning her off completely. But the less into you she is from the get go, when you start doing this, she starts to view you as just like all the other guys she’s talking to.)
She said it was going to be a nice weekend, and she had no plans. I flexed my masculinity by not asking what she wanted to do, but telling her what I thought we should do, as well as the time and place.
(The idea is to extend the invitation to invite her to join your fun bus, to invite her to join something fun that you want to do.)
She went along with a plan, which was to go for a hike. I didn’t contact her again until a couple hours before our date on Sunday to give her my address, since I’d told her to meet at my place and we’d drive together.
(You had a definite time and day, but not an address. One thing you can do if you’re worried about getting ghosted or worried about a woman flaking on you is text her the day of the date and tell her you’re going to be a half hour late, you’re a little jammed up and would it be okay to meet an hour later to see how she responds. That’s a good way to mitigate that particular risk.
The only reason a woman will blow you off is if she wasn’t really into you in the first place. So if she hasn’t heard from you two or three days before the date, and she doesn’t really give a fuck, she doesn’t feel bad about blowing you off.)
Another point I’d learned from your book is that a date should be focused on three things, having fun, romance, and opportunity for sex.
(The three H’s — hang out, have fun and hook up.)
I wanted her car at my place, so I could suggest showing her my condo after the date. When she arrived for our date, she offered to drive, (I think she wanted to show off her BMW), but I insisted I drive, because I didn’t want to give away my masculine power.
(Or you could offer to drive her car.)
During our hike, I focused on opening her up by asking her questions based on what you teach. She’s quite shy. For instance, I asked her to tell me about a happy memory of something she did during her childhood.
(That was a good question. I think that was in an article I did several years ago called, “36 Great Date Questions.”)
Each question sparked fun and revealing conversations about both of our lives growing up, hers in China and mine in America. I also threw in a question asking if I could kiss her. She said yes and that it was a lame question!
(I like this girl. She’s giving you honest feedback. “That’s a lame question. Be a fucking man, and just kiss me” in other words.)
Thinking back, it really WAS lame! If I had it to do over, instead of asking permission for the kiss, I’d ask if she’s a good kisser.
(That’s a much better question. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions that you consistently ask yourself and your dates. If you’re asking good quality questions, they’re going to illicit good, quality answers. She’s going to feel good quality feelings towards you. And when that happens, she likes you more.)
I’m starting to realize phrasing conversations with women the right way is very important.
(It’s not so much what you say, but how you say it.)
Anyway, we kissed for a minute or so and it was tantalizing.
When we got back to my place, I invited her up to see my condo as I’d planned, but she felt pressured to get home to her 14-year old son, so she could make dinner. We kissed for a minute, and she drove off.
(You extend the invitation, and you’re okay with her either accepting it or saying, “No I have to run. Maybe next time.”)
I went upstairs and turned on TV to watch some football. About a half hour later, my phone rang, and it was her. She asked me if it was okay if she changed her mind, because she wanted to see my condo after all. I responded by saying “I’d love that.” She said, “I’ll be there soon,” and we hung up. I knew for certainty at that moment that she wanted me as much as I wanted her! To make a long story short, I’ll leave out the fun details except to say, within 3 minutes of her getting inside my door, I’d torn off her clothes and we were enjoying the indoor Olympics, as you like to say.
Afterwards, we lay in bed talking awhile about what just happened, relishing the moment.
(These are great memories, especially for a guy who’s not used to this kind of thing happening. It completely changes your life.)
Soon she was asking me questions about other women that I’d slept with, etc.
(You never win by answering those kinds of questions, because if things ever go sideways in the future and you’re having a difficult time, that shit will get thrown back in your face.)
Then she let me know that I was the first man she had slept with since her divorce. When I asked how long that had been, I was flabbergasted! It had been nearly 6 years since the last time she had been with a man!
(You did everything right compared to most of the other guys she had been out with or talking to. Remember, you must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.)
When I asked why me, she basically said I make her feel safe.
(Women have to feel safe and comfortable, and if they do, they’ll be back for more. If they don’t, you probably won’t hear from them very often.)
Thanks, Dude! What else can I say? I dropped you a $20 donation today.
(Thank you. Donations are always appreciated.)
If things continue to go this way, I expect there will be more donations to come.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Alpha males are direct, decisive and get to the point. They know what they want and why they want it. They don’t hesitate, but take action when opportunities present themselves, either in their personal or their professional lives. As the old saying goes, you will miss 100% of the pitches that you don’t take a swing at. Success in life is mostly due to showing up and taking action. Losers hesitate, dither and second-guess themselves. Winners take action in spite of their fears and even when success seems unlikely. Give yourself permission to fail, because the reality is that most of your attempts at anything in life will result in failure most of the time. However, failure is the greatest teacher of all, because it teaches you what doesn’t work and forces you in a new direction and to try something else. Failure is a necessary prerequisite to success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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