Passing Her Tests To Get Out Of Friend Zone

How to pass a woman’s tests to get out of friend zone when you are stuck with no romance.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has an ongoing battle of wills with a female coworker that he turned off with too much unattractive behavior, and she is trying to keep him in friend zone with no chance of romance. He just found my work and has read 3% Man, for the 3rd time. He’s making a lot of mistakes with group dates, being too soft and letting her dictate the terms of their interactions. She cancels dates and jerks him around. She is used to being able to push him around and simply changes her approach to how she keeps him in friend zone, and he falls for it. It’s a really good email that shows the struggle guys have getting out of friend zone after way too much beta and unattractive behavior and the woman having little to no respect for them. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, Passing Her Tests To Get Out Of Friend Zone.

Well, I’ve got an email from a dude that just consistently gets stuck back in friend zone. And it’s a good email, because there’s a lot of back and forth. He’ll start acting like a man consistently, and then he spends too much time with her, can’t handle it, turns her off, boom. Then she pushes him away. He backs off. She pulls him back in. He can’t handle it. He over pursues too much, acts like a bitch. She friend zones him.

And so, this has happened many times. And so, she’s obviously formed an opinion of him. She jerks him around, she cancels dates, and yet he just keeps coming back, going, “Thank you. May I have another?” So, it’s a good email especially if any of you guys are stuck in friend zone. And I wrote about this in My Book with one of my ex girlfriends. It’s like I would act masculine consistently.

She’d be consistently attracted, and as soon as I started acting like a bitch or being inconsistent, she would lose attraction. It was back and forth, back and forth. That’s when I was still trying to find the sweet spot between pursuing too much and not enough. And that’s where this guy is. He’s just, “Puff. Puff. Puff. Puff.” He’s vacillating back and forth between being a girl and acting like a man.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Corey, 

Thank you for your teachings and the book. I sadly found your book too late.

Well, I’ve got to go easy on this guy. Because he’s brand new. He just came here after all this happened. But I’ll probably still roast him a little bit because hey, that’s what I do. Because, I did this too. Any mistake these guys have made, I’ve probably made all of them and/or worse. So, I am out here calling the kettle black. And besides, it’s all in The Book, anyways.

I sadly found your book too late and am going through it for the 3^rd time in Audio version and it is helping me a lot. It really opened my eyes. I was having fun with a co-worker and we got along really well. First day going somewhere for drinks together and we kissed the same evening. After this, she kept reaching out that she wanted to see me.

Yeah, that’s fine. If she’s doing all the pursuing, you make dates, you hang out, you have fun, you hook up. Pretty simple.

I see now that we saw each other too often too soon, although everything went well.

Well, if she’s the one calling you and texting you, and saying she wants to see you, that’s fine. But, where guys get into trouble is that you spend a bunch of time together, and now all of a sudden, days are going by and you’re not hearing from her at all. And then you think, “Well, what’s wrong? She doesn’t like me anymore. What? Did I turn her off? Is she mad? I gotta fix this.”

Because that is how most guys think. And in reality, women are just like cats. You spend a lot of time together. She’s not missing you. That’s okay. Clean your garage out. Go see your mom, wash your car, mow your lawn, clean your garage out. Go hang out with your buddies. Go to the gym, catch up on your bills. Whatever it is you need to catch up on. Read a book. Get a hobby. Get back into your hobbies. Have a life outside of her.

One day we were supposed to go to an event together (something she invited me to), but she backed out of it while both of us were standing in front of the building. Instead, we decided to go for drinks instead. Lots of kissing again and she couldn’t wait for the Indoor Olympics and even hinted on doing it on the spot, since we both lived far from this place, and we couldn’t book a hotel room.

So, I guess the Indoor Olympics did not happen. Part of what’s in The Book is the logistics of sex. So, if you’re going to go on a date with a girl, you got to think of wherever we go, we got to be 10 to 15 minutes away from my place or her place, so sex can happen. You got to think about that. If you’re, like an hour away and then she’s ready to get it on, you’re like, “Aw.”

You’re not getting laid. That sucks, but that’s on you. But again, this guy is brand new to my work, so he didn’t know. But you could have got laid if she’s ready to go and she’s talking about it. But for whatever reason, you couldn’t get a hotel or couldn’t afford it, didn’t want to. Bottom line is you got blue balls instead of a happy finish.

After our adventure (sadly the same evening) one of her female colleagues told her that I asked for pictures of one of her friends, which wasn’t true and was fully based on stirring tension between us at the worst moment ever.

Well, it sounds like he’s going out on group dates with her and stuff, which again, that’s why you don’t go out on those group dates. It’s possible that this friend who’s stirring the tension actually likes you. Or maybe she didn’t. Or maybe she’s just jealous of her friend having a guy in her life, that’s possible too.

Or maybe you drank too much, and acted like a douche and she didn’t like you. And so, now she’s trying to sabotage it. And since you have never had sex with her, and you haven’t really spent much time with her, she has no emotional bond to you, so it’s easy for her to blow you off.

That’s why you do group dates only after she’s in love with you. Because then she’ll defend you when somebody talks shit. When she barely knows you, or hasn’t slept with you and her friend talks shit, yeah, she’ll blow you off. Again, these are things that are taught in The Book.

Of course, she believed the story of her friend that she knows for two years over the truth from the guy that she only knows four weeks.

Yeah. You had no leverage there, Bro. You lose that negotiation.

So here everything ended. She said she didn’t feel comfortable anymore and that we should just be friends.

Well, you hung out for four weeks and never progressed between, you know, between kissing. Probably because you didn’t make a move when you should have made a move. You’re going out on a group date. You’re probably falling her around like a little puppy dog, not really taking the lead.

She kept reaching out though with selfies almost once a day and later asked to do baby steps and go slow.

Well, in this case, she’s already doing the pursuing. All you have to do is let her reach out, and make dates. Think about the logistics of sex, 10 to 15 minutes away from your house, wherever you are, wherever you end up.

We saw each other from time to time. Some weeks later she invited me to a pool, and here we kissed again. Her response two days after was angry since I didn’t respect her decision to take baby steps.

Well, I don’t know what he did, but she’s giving him a hard time about kissing her. I would have been like, “Well, you invited me over and the pool, and you’re the one that came over and stuck your tongue down my throat.”

It’s like, “What am I supposed to do with that? Not kiss you back.” It’s like, “I enjoyed kissing you. I like having your tongue down my throat. Actually, it’s quite nice. We should do it again soon, but only when you’re in a good mood.”

After I went on vacation for two weeks and on the day of my flight, she texted me the “Let’s be friends” speech again, which I nicely declined.

Yeah. See, this is the other thing. When you vacillate back and forth between masculine being feminine, and she’s tried to friend zone you, and you’re like, “No thank you.” You notice it comes from different ways.

In other words, women change their approach at how they try to friend zone you. So, you got to be ready for it. That’s why it’s super important to know what you want, know who you are. And say, “No thank you. But if you change your mind, I’d love to hear from you.”

During my vacation we didn’t text at all. And the day after I came back, I received angry messages from her that apparently, we didn’t talk anymore.

Like, yeah, she sounds like kind of a bitch. But then again, if she thinks you’re a bitch, she’s going to be a bitch to you. That’s super important. If she thinks you’re a bitch, she will be a bitch to you.

Later we made a definite date on which she flaked.

Yeah. She has no respect for you. She didn’t care.

Days later she told me that she flaked on it because if we started drinking, she already knew the end of the evening, which made her uncomfortable.

In other words, “We would be hooking up”, or “You’d be trying to hook it up with me.” That’s why in this case, you should be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. You spend enough time. If the girl reaches out, invite her over to your place in the evening to make dinner together. If she’s angry, or if she gives you a hard time, break her balls. Politely decline.

Say, “I only invite cute girls over to my house to make dinner who are nice to me. If you’re going to be mean and angry, it’s like, you know, call Chad Thunder Cock, don’t call me. Call one of your other guy friends, and he’ll come over and make you dinner. And then you can kiss them on the cheek for his trouble.”

The best we could do is a lunch for now according to her.

You don’t go to lunches, Bro. Again, she’s trying to friend zone you. You say “No”, then she says, “Oh, let’s go to lunch.” See. It’s a friendship thing. It’s in The Book.

And once again she is asking me to do baby steps.

Is there a way to recover from this? And if so, how do you advise taking baby steps? Or can I/ should I walk away? She was cool, but I was not at the stage yet to fully know if we would be compatible. Although I would like to find out. 

Thank you so much!

Kind regards,

Bob

That’s why you should let her do 100% of the pursuing. When you hear from her, invite her over. Because you should be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. You spend enough time with her to know. And this way it will prevent her from jerking you around. In other words, if she’s trying to keep you in friend zone, and she’s feeling more platonic towards you, she won’t agree to come over and make dinner together.

She’ll say, “Friends”, or “Group dates.” Or “Let’s go to the pool.” Or, “Let’s go to a neutral setting. Let’s meet for coffee.” You’re like, “No, I’m just in the mood to hang at my place. If you don’t want to come over and make dinner together. Give me a call in a few weeks and maybe I’ll be up for lunch or coffee then. But right now, it’s been a long week. I just in the mood to hang. I’d love to see you, but if you don’t want to come over, then call somebody else. Call somebody else to entertain you.”

And one of two things will happen if you do that. Again, this is laid out in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back the article and YouTube Video that I did. And if she starts coming over and you hook up, again, she has to come over three times in a row to make dinner. As long as you have sex all three times, then you can meet her out and pick her up. But, you got to let her do 100% of the pursuing, and then you just make dates. Because what’s happening is that you’re allowing her to control everything.

Again, he’s brand new to the work, so he’s doing group dates. He interacted with her friends, and they didn’t like him for whatever reason. And so, now they sabotaged it and talked shit about him. So, he had a whole host of problems. I can’t say he wasn’t following what’s in The Book, because quite frankly, he didn’t know about it.

But, you know, those of us that know the book and see, “Oh, that’s pretty obvious where that guy went wrong and why he’s getting jerked around. He’s just stuck there.” And that’s why it’s super important where you are. Because this girl is really adamant about trying to keep you in the friend zone. She is testing the shit out of you. That is why you have to be strict with what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.

Because all you have to do is go to lunch once and she’s like, “Yeah, he’s a bitch.” And her pussy is going to dry up. But if you say “No”, and you give her the responses that’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back about making dinner in the evening. And withdraw the offer if she tries to get you to do anything other than that. That’s a test. And she may not make plans with you.

And then a week or two later calls you up. And then after you’ve asked two times in a row when she’s reached out to get together, and she won’t make plans with you. Then after that, just talk to her for a few minutes and be like, “Hey, it’s great hearing from you, but I gotta run. Keep in touch.” If she sends you a meme, just like it, take your time to respond to her.

Treat her like a low priority. And if she blows her top and starts getting mad and angry, you probably shouldn’t date her at all, because she might be messed up. Again, this book will bring out the worst and the worst right away, and I see some signs here that this is an angry, pissed off girl.

But, you’ve been acting like a bitch. And women in general, if you act like a bitch, they will be a bitch to you. So, it could be that, or it could be that she’s a nut. But we won’t see until you are consistent, because that’s a problem. You’ve been inconsistent. You’ve been consistently inconsistent in how you’ve showed up. And that’s why it keeps going back and forth.

You get a little kissy poo. Then she’s like, oh, friends only. Then you go, no contact. A week or two, you hang out little kissy poo, then she gets mad at you. And so, you shouldn’t be going to her and doing things. You should only allow her to come to you. Because she should be the one earning another chance with you, not the other way around. And if she’s trying to earn another chance with you, then guess what? She won’t be a bitch to you.

You should be on our best behavior. She’s always a bitch to you because you allow her to get away with it. You allow her to walk all over you and disrespect you and treat you that way. So you got to manage the distance. Keep them at a distance. “If you’re a bitch, you get to stay over there. If you’re sweet. Hey, come over here, cutie.”

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.