Self-Doubt & Self-Reliance

What you should focus on when you are full of self-doubt and fear about your ability to accomplish your grandest goals and dreams, and how to get emotional leverage upon yourself, so you can start taking consistent action and master self-reliance.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who was born with motor nerve damage that left him with an arm disability. He aspires to be a Paralympian. His original path was to be a swimmer, but he does not enjoy that anymore, so he changed to taekwondo. However, now that he’s twenty-one, he feels like he is too late to the game and does not have enough time to achieve his goal. He’s hit a mental wall.

The second email is from a guy who says he knows what his purpose and mission in life is, but he never seems to follow through and always gets sidetracked when he starts taking action. Both of them do not have the proper emotional leverage upon themselves and haven’t clearly defined what is most important to them. I discuss how they can get more clarity about their purpose and mission, get the proper emotional leverage and take action in a directed and focused way that will eventually bring results. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hi Mr. Wayne,

I have read your book and been watching your videos. You are doing amazing job. Thanks for all you do. Now, I was watching your video, “How to Think Like & Become A Champion,” and I decided to ask you how I can overcome self-doubt. (You’re always going to have doubts on some level, but if you have emotionally compelling reasons for doing something, you will have more reasons to do it than to not do it. By writing your pros and cons down on a list, you’ll be able to remind yourself how not doing anything will have painful consequences, and this will help you move towards the things you want.)

Let me tell my story. I have had an arm disability since my childbirth, a Brachial plexus injury. I cannot use my arm properly, due to the damage on my motor nerves. I was a para-swimmer, and I wanted to be Paralympian, (My question to you would be, why do you want to be a Paralympian? How emotionally compelling are your reasons on a scale of one to ten? If it’s a seven, you’re not really committed to it. The reasons you want to do something should be a ten, or else the first time you run into obstacles, you won’t be really committed to it, and you will give up), but afterwards, about 8 months ago, I realized that I do not enjoy swimming anymore, even a little bit, so I changed my sport. (What’s important is that you tried it, because imperfect action is better than no action at all.) I decided to move on to taekwondo 6 months ago. Actually, I am in good shape and feel like I have enough potential to be the best. (The only reason you should be doing taekwondo is because, you love it and want to master it. On a scale of one to ten, how emotionally compelling is taekwondo? Why is being a Paralympian such a big deal to you? You should write those things down.) That is, to be an Olympian. But deep inside, since I started to do it lately, I am 21 years old, I feel like I am late and don’t have enough time to achieve my goal. I cannot overcome it, no matter what I do. Can you give me some advice? (You should only do those things if you love training, competing, and you love the sport you’re in. If you don’t know why you want it and don’t have compelling reasons for doing it, you will bounce around different sports. Find something that is a ten out of ten on a scale of emotionally compelling reasons for doing it.)Thanks for you time,

Bob

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

I’ll go straight to the point. We all know that every man has a mission/purpose in his life, but what do I do when I know my purpose, my path, but I am too lazy to take the steps to achieve it? (If you don’t love what you’re doing and don’t feel like your mission and purpose is why you were put on earth, you aren’t really committed to it. As Steve Jobs said, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.” He details in his biography, “Steve Jobs,” which I highly recommend, the process he went through to get to Apple and Pixar.) I mean, for the last month, I’ve been doing a to-do list every single night before going to bed, but on the next day, when it comes to just do the fucking thing, I always tell myself excuses why not to do it. (You either don’t have proper leverage on yourself, or you’ve chosen to something that you’re really not that committed to. It comes back to having emotionally compelling reasons as to why you want to do something. If it feels like work, it’s not the right thing. If it feels like playing and you love it, you’ll do it, because it’s fun.) And if I even start doing the thing, I get distracted very easily, and in the end, I end up doing something else.So how do I stop being lazy and instead, start dominating my path? (The first step is to have emotionally compelling reasons for something you’re passionate about. You need your purpose and you need the reasons why you want it, or you will quit and won’t follow through. Let me help you. You can see several of my articles and videos on discovering your purpose and mission by clicking HERE, and you can purchase phone and email coaching, as well as see other self help products, on the PRODUCTS page of my website.)

Thank you,

Bob

“In order to accomplish your mission and purpose in life, you must have emotional leverage upon yourself. People will do more to avoid experiencing potential pain, in the process of achieving something they really want, than they will do to experience the potential pleasure of achieving it. In order to overcome your fears, limiting beliefs and self-doubts, you must have emotional leverage upon yourself to take action, in spite of them. That means you must focus on the potential pleasure and all of the emotionally compelling rewards of what it will be like when you achieve your grandest goals and dreams. You also must focus on the potential pain and negative consequences you will experience if you do not take the action you know you need to take, in order to make success possible. With the proper emotional leverage, you naturally will move towards what potentially feels good, and away from what potentially feels bad.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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