She Regretted Breaking Up, But Isn’t Ready For A Relationship

What it means when your ex regrets breaking up but isn’t ready for a relationship after you hooked up again.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who was in no contact with his ex girlfriend for about four months. They bumped into each other in a parking lot and started talking and that led to hooking up several times. She still had some things at his house but ended up leaving her glasses behind.

He asked if she was open to fixing things after, but she said she isn’t ready for a relationship. She then left and they were kissing and hugging the whole time. He doesn’t know what to do now and asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a guy who was in no contact with his ex-girlfriend for about four months and they bumped into each other in a parking lot, started talking. One thing led to another, and they were hanging out, having fun, and hooking up a bunch over, I guess a day or two. Or maybe it was just the one night? I can’t remember.

It’s been a little bit since I went through the email initially, but she had left some things over I guess four months previously that he collected because she’s like, “Oh, I’m not ready for a relationship.” He’s like, “Hey, things are great. If we could fix the problems, we could work things out and get back together.” She’s crying, he’s crying and she’s like, “I’m not ready for a relationship,” so he gives her stuff. She leaves. They’re kissing and touching each other the whole time. One more kiss and this will be the end. It’s like he finally closed the door and waved and said goodbye. She left her glasses. Women do this on purpose, obviously. So he’s like, “What do I do?”

She doesn’t want to be in a relationship, for him, this is actually fortuitous, or it should be. So he’s trying to get his ex back and they hooked up a bunch, but he’s like, “What do I do now?”

Viewer’s Email:

Hello Coach,

I just started watching your videos after my ex and I hooked up after having no contact for around 4-5 months.

You got to read 3% Man, dude. It’s free to read on their website. All you got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter. You need to learn the basics of what I teach if you want to be successful. You can learn a lot with the videos, but the videos are all based on the knowledge that’s in the book. If you don’t learn the knowledge in the book, you’re going to really struggle. You won’t be able to sustain it. You might have some attainable success like you’ve had, but you won’t be able to sustain it.

We bumped into each other in a parking lot. At first the interaction was pretty light and we were just catching up on life. Things took a twist when I decided to apologize for any of the wrong doings I may have done in our relationship and that I wanted to take responsibility for my end of the relationship since I was very reactive and beta towards the end of our relationship. She told me that I had nothing to be sorry for and that I was good to her.

She looked at me in the eyes and started crying telling me she missed me. So I went in and kissed her.

“Oh, you missed me?” “Of course I missed you.”

I got into her car and we started talking more and she kept telling me that she missed me and still loves me. When I asked her if she was open to the idea of fixing things, she said she’s not ready for a relationship.

Well, you haven’t read the book yet, but you also should immediately get into 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, the article and video I did so you can be prepared on what to do and how to fix this, but you got to you got to read the book, dude.

So your job, this is in the book, which you’ll learn hopefully once you go through it, your job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Not get back together, but just create an opportunity for sex to happen. You’ll see here in a second that’s what he does. Because he’s brand new, he hasn’t got through the book yet, probably hasn’t been through 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, I would imagine. He doesn’t know what to do, but you need to get to that information in your mind as quickly as possible.

I told her that she has some stuff at my house and she should come over and pick it up. We started making out more and things got heated so I told her to just drive to my house. When we got to my house we immediately started hooking up and had sex three times.

“Bing bang boom,” as Bobby would say.

Things were going well but she started crying and telling me that she feels like we are mending things and that she regretted her decision and wished she never did what she did (break up) I told her that I was open to fixing things and she was quick to tell me that she doesn’t see a future in us anymore and thinks we should both move on.

Well, that’s where humor comes in. “You think you should move on? We just had sex three times. Those were a lot of happy finishes for you. You want to move on after the happy finishes? Are you sure you’re going to be able to? Babe, it’s pretty tough.”

I kind of started getting emotional as well and we both started crying and having sex again, LOL. 

She obviously likes you, bro, but you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, which is creating an opportunity for sex to happen and re-establish the intimacy beat up her pelvis. This is how it’s supposed to go.

I told her that this should be our last goodbye and that I would honor her decision and let her go and move on. She told me that she hopes the best for me and that she hopes I find someone who can give me the love I deserved. I can’t lie and say that I didn’t get emotional and kept trying to bargain (my dumbass). I told her that I love her as well and that this is the last time we say I love you to each other. I then grabbed her stuff, walked her to her car and then kissed her goodbye.

She kept trying to kiss me and kept asking for one more kiss. I shut the door and waved her goodbye. When I went to my room I found that she left her glasses and now all i can think about is texting her some slick shit like, “Hey dummy, you keep leaving things at my place.” The alternative is to go no contact and wait.

Bob

Well, if she left her glasses there, she’s going to know. This email came in a few weeks ago and I haven’t seen any more come in, but what you can do?

Wait two weeks. See if she reaches out. If she does it now, you can say, “Hey, you left your glasses here, you should come by and pick them up.” Same thing. Do it. Arrange it in the evenings. “Hey, let’s make some dinner together. I have a few drinks or whatever.” Invite her over to to do that. She’ll probably come over and you’ll hang out, you’ll have fun, you’ll hook up. Then if she’s the one that did the dumping, which I assume she is, then it’s got to be up to her to fix it.

You should just follow the script in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. This is a really easy situation to fix. I say give it two weeks. If you don’t hear from her, which I would think she would probably reach out in the next two weeks, “Hey! My glasses. I forgot my glasses. I have to come pick those up.” “Yeah, you really forgot your glasses.”

She did it on purpose. Girls do that on purpose because it gives her a reason to reach back out in the future. So that’s why I’m saying give it a couple of weeks just to see if she’s like, “Oh, I left my glasses. It’s such an accident.” Women do that because they don’t want to risk the rejection or looking bad. Because they can just say, “Oh, I wasn’t coming to see you. I was coming to get my glasses,” and it’s up to you as the leader to create the opportunity for sex to happen to seduce her when the signs are there.

As I discussed in the book, beat up her pelvis. When she leaves, just say, “Call me later.” If she says, “Well, we can’t work things out,” he’s like, “Call me if you change your mind.” Say she reaches out a few days later, whatever. “Hey babe, I miss you. I want to see you.” Invite her over, hang out, have fun, hook up, make sure she comes over at least three times in a row so she’s come over once. So she comes over two more times, and then you hook up each of those times. Then after that, when she reaches out, then you can pick her up, but you got to let her do 100% of the pursuing, just like I talk about 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Once she falls head over heels in love again, she’ll be the one bringing up getting back together.

You don’t have to worry about that. This is such an easy situation to fix. It’s so good on you for acting upon this and seducing her when the opportunity was there, so it’s pretty easy to fix, like I said.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.