She Said She Needed A Man Who Has His Life More Together

What it really means when a woman dumps you saying she needs a man who has his life more together.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who got into my work a few years back, watched a bunch of videos and read 3% Man, once, ignoring the instructions to read it 10-15 times. Now he is back after getting dumped by his girlfriend who said she needed a man who had his life more together. She said he didn’t understand her or make her feel protected. Now he realizes that he didn’t retain vital information from the book because he didn’t follow instructions and has paid the price with the loss of his relationship. His friends who obviously don’t understand women either said it wasn’t his fault as a cope to make him feel better, but after getting back into my work he realizes it was all preventable and lists exactly why she lost interest, respect and dumped him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, She Said She Needed A Man Who Has His Life More Together.

So, this particular email is from a guy who got into my work a few years back. He says he watched a bunch of videos, and he read 3% Man one time. And then, he admits he completely ignored the instructions and didn’t listen to me when I said, read the book 10 to 15 times. And then he realized that he didn’t retain a lot of the information in the book.

And as I say in the very beginning of the book, we human beings, we retain maybe 8% 10%. 7% to 10%, 7& to 9% of what we read, hear, and see, each time we go through it. And so, if you’re trying to completely undo your unattractive behavior, and the societal conditioning that we’re all surrounded with 24/7 through our media, through TV shows, and through movies.

If you read this book once, and then just go right back to watching TV and movies and and you never go back into the book, it’s the programming is going to overcome you. The dysfunctional programming that is in our media and in society. The woke mind virus, if you will. It’s going to overcome you.

And it’s like if you only learned maybe 8% of the book, because whatever you observe, you participate in. And if you’re mostly participating in propaganda that brainwashes you to think in ways that are dysfunctional and unattractive, you’re not going to be able to turn things around. If you’ve always been chasing women out of your life. And so, what happened was, this guy got dumped by his girlfriend.

Now at this point, and all his friends were like, oh, it’s not, you know, as a cope. “Oh, it’s not your problem. It just wasn’t a good match.” But at the end of the day, he started to realize, I don’t think my friends know what they’re doing. And then he came back to my website, went through the book, and he was like, “Oh. I didn’t listen.” And he details everything.

He did totally torpedo his relationship. And so, he puts it in this email, which is a great email to learn from because this is a guy read The Book once, learned a lot from the videos, got into a relationship, maybe learned some pick up and some dating skills, and then didn’t learn anything else because he just felt it was beneath him and not worth his time.

And now he’s single again and he’s gone through The Book, I think a few times since he got back into it. He’s like, man, it’s so obvious. So, this is totally preventable, totally avoidable. And I know many, many, many guys are going to see this video and they’re not going to make the same mistakes that this guy did.

So, this is going to save a lot of relationships and marriages and families down the road. So, I’m glad that this guy took the time, even though he’s licking his wounds, to write in and send this to us so I can share it.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

I read Your Book once a few years back and followed your videos religiously for a while, but I always ignored your advice to read 10-15 times and its clear I did not retain some vital information.

I was like, all I can do is suggest and teach the fundamentals. And if you don’t want to listen, you shouldn’t be surprised that you get cut from the team. Unexpectedly.

I managed to secure the woman of my dreams, and for six months, everything felt like a dream. I thought I had found my wife, and she even confessed her love, wanting to be exclusive first. However, after a while, she decided I was not the right man for her. Gradually, she lost attraction and needed a man who had his life more “together.”

As she put it.

She started listing reasons, such as how I didn’t understand her or make her feel protected. Her attraction went from a ten to constantly testing me, being annoyed, and not wanting me at all. My friends said it wasn’t anything I did.

Yeah, like they have any clue what they’re talking about. They’re just trying to make you feel better. Because quite frankly, they don’t understand women either. It’s easy just to go, “Hey, it’s not your fault.” This is what. It’s so funny when I talk about this and like the red pill guys are always crying in my comments.

And I mentioned this is like, this is exactly what I see from the red pill community. They’re like, “Oh, you’re just mad because they’re taking your business.” Like, no, actually, over the years, I get a lot of business now from the red pill community.

From all the people whose relationships they screw up, and whose marriages they screw up, and whose girlfriends that they drive away with their incompetence and their stupidity. Because a large majority of these guys are fucking incels.

And when you look at some of the dudes that have these really super popular red pill podcasts, and, you know, they brag about the women they’re sleeping with, and then the women send out these emails between them and the host basically going, “Hey, you could be on my show, but we got to have sex first.”

It’s like, you didn’t seduce her with your charm and your understanding of game. You basically brought in a girl that just was trying to market her business or her thirst traps, and so she gave up the pussy so she could get access to your audience. That’s not understanding the game. That’s being a bitch.

That’s being like Harvey Weinstein level of douchebaggery. But a lot of people listen to these guys, and they screw them up. And then they come to me and I’m here to fix them. Because I have solutions that actually work. And I’ve been doing this long before these jerk offs were doing all this stuff, and spreading all this nonsense.

But hey, back to our regularly, “Corey, you don’t understand Red Pill.” It’s like, “Yes, I have read the books, I’ve watched the podcasts, I’ve seen the people. I’ve been doing this for years. I was around way before the red pill was even a thing. I teach what works.”

And if you don’t want to listen to me, you can suffer the consequences and you’ll be coming back in a few years crying about how you lost the woman of your dreams. Because you listen to these incompetent jerk offs that are only getting laid because now they have a show.

And the women want access to the audience, and they’re not really high value women. That’s why they’re willing to sleep with these guys to get access to the audience. Just like girls would go sleep with Hugh Hefner. And he never cared why they were there.

They were there because they wanted to be rich and famous and maybe even a famous person. So they were willing to give up the pussy. Don’t act like you’re a ladies man. If that’s how you get women by saying, “Hey, you can come on my show, but only if you sleep with me.” It’s like, give me a fucking break. What a douche. That’s Harvey Weinstein casting couch nonsense.

My friends said it wasn’t anything I did.

“It’s the single moms. It’s modern women. You don’t understand. It’s just modern women.” Only fans girls, and sex workers and strippers are not modern women. That’s a small segment of the population.

My friends said it wasn’t anything I did. And that I didn’t need to change.

But that’s all cope. It’s like people don’t want to take personal responsibility for their own lives. It’s like the late, great Don Shula said, “Strong men blame themselves. Weak men blame others.”

But I couldn’t help but think I could have avoided this and kept her. I was devastated, so I ignored my friends.

Good for you.

Came back to your site.

Yep. Just like a lot of the dudes that get into the red pill stuff.

And decided to finally listen to you. I’m now on my fourth read of your book, and my God, I see exactly where I went wrong:

Now, this first one is a chapter right out of the book.

1.          The courtship never ends: I got complacent and too comfortable, becoming sloppy after we were official and started imagining our future and what our babies would look like.
2.          Lack of understanding and care: Many times she said I didn’t understand her or care. She tried to express her feelings, but I often didn’t know how to handle it or cut it short. I should have been there for her more, a better listener, and more giving.
   
   Yeah, you made her your mommy and your therapist. Not good. You acted like the leader in the beginning. And then after a few months, once you were in a relationship, you made her your mommy and your therapist.
   
   You made her the man, and she didn’t like it. She resented it. That’s why she was nasty to you. It’s not because modern women. It’s because of attraction.
   
3.          I aired too much of my dirty laundry: I complained about how unhappy I was with my life, thinking that now we were together, she was my rock, and I could tell her all my problems. This was completely wrong, and I needed to be her rock.
   
   He didn’t make her feel heard and understood. There’s a video I did years and years ago, probably 10 12 years ago, at least, called, “How To Communicate With Women Effectively.” And he just read The Book once. He was focused on pickup and getting laid.
   
   And once he started pickup and getting laid and she fell in love, he’s like, I got it. I’m a Jedi master. I don’t have to read this thing ten times, like 10 or 15 times like Corey says, I’m a genius. I should have been there for her more, a better listener and more giving.
   
4.          Misplaced priorities: I thought I was scoring points by taking her on holidays and buying gifts. However, I was constantly losing points for not listening, forgetting what she said, failing her tests, and not making her feel safe.
   
   So, he was buying her and taking her on trips as a bribe for sex and a relationship, and paying attention that she was bitchy and angry. So, I would have to say probably his love language is gift giving. But that can’t make up for the fact if you don’t make a woman feel heard and understood, the legs closed.
   
   That’s right out of the book. And if you don’t date and court her, eventually some other guy will. And those are the two fatal ones that I hear about 99% of the time when I’m talking to dudes in long term relationships or marriages that fail.
   
5.          Failure to gauge her attraction: The most important of all, I was not constantly gauging her attraction to me, even though it was dropping drastically, and there were so many signs I ignored.
   

Yeah, because if you’ve convinced yourself that it’s not your problem, it’s modern women or it’s the woman’s problem. Women are crazy, then yeah, when you see you’re losing interest. “Oh, it has nothing to do with me. I don’t have to correct my behavior.” Again, that’s one of the things that the red pill enables.

But, you know, yet there’s always dudes in my comments going, “Oh, Coach, you don’t understand red pill. Red pill teaches awareness of a woman’s nature.” And they start repeating platitudes and things, and I listen to what the guy says it’s like, yeah, whatever, dude. You don’t have a clue, but keep defending your cult.

I keep following those guys that only get laid because they have an audience that basically hookers and whores want access to. Oh, you’re sleeping with hookers and whores to get on your TV show. Wow, you’re a real stud. That’s really a great accomplishment.

Overall, I’m gutted, and now I have no choice but to move on.

And I suspect you guys know who I’m talking about.

Never look back, and apply what I’ve learned. I’ll keep studying and learning to be better for her if she comes back or for someone even better.

Thanks Coach, for making me see where I went wrong.

Bob

I appreciate the email. I hope you enjoyed the roasting, but quite frankly, you deserved it. And I hate seeing these kinds of emails because, it stings. Especially when you really like the girl. But hopefully now he’s like, “all right, I really got burned” because pain is life’s change agent. Pain is life’s way of saying, “Hey, the way you’re going about things is wrong.

It’s not working. You need to change your approach.” And so, because this guy has a strong emotional, a strong negative emotional anchor, now the next time he’s dating a girl and he feels the urge to be lazy or ignore the signs. Hopefully he’ll be more disciplined and do what’s necessary. Instead of just ignoring it and pretending everything is fine.

But, I’ve made plenty of mistakes like this when I was younger. And I didn’t have books like mine, or books as complete as mine, I should say. There were lots of books I was reading. Doc Love was great, but there were so many other sources in my own life experience and things I needed to connect the dots on that eventually went into.

I mean, this book has been updated multiple times over the last 20 years. Based upon feedback, and based upon the phone sessions, and the emails I’ve gotten from people. And like over the years, what I’ve tried to do, is like, especially when I have the type of questions, I would see them over and over and over and over again. The same type of questions.

I would add stuff into the book, and I would notice that those type of questions, or problems would pretty much mostly go away. I wouldn’t get them anymore. And so the goal, The Book has been fine tuned in relation to how people, tens of thousands of dudes, have been applying this all over the world. In every cultural and spiritual and religious background, and tweaked it, and fine-tuned it to where it works.

The Book is going to work 100 years from now. Now, the communication methods may change, but what women respond to in relationship and what attracts them to a man, that’s always been and always will be. And once you understand that, you can cut through all the bullshit, and know to tune out dudes who are doing the Harvey Weinstein thing because they got a they got an audience.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.