She Tried To Friend Zone Me. I Declined. Now She’s Mad I Didn’t Fight For Her?

What it means when she’s mad you didn’t fight for her after she tried to friend zone you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 62 year old widower. He got dumped 2 months ago after he acted too needy and clingy. She tried to friend zone him but he declined. Now she says she’s mad he didn’t try to fight for her. He asks what he should do now. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Tried To Friend Zone Me. I Declined. Now She’s Mad I Didn’t Fight For Her?”

Well, the fact that she’s “mad” that you didn’t fight for her after she came back. So this guy was dating her. He was 62. He’s a widower. Just got back into the dating scene, obviously, after he lost his bride. And it’s probably been a long time since he dated. And so he dated this woman. He was a little needy, a little clingy, and after two months she tried to friend zone him. He politely declined. And then about two months later, she gets back in touch and she’s butthurt and upset that he didn’t try to fight for her more.

You don’t try to stick around when somebody’s offering you friendship. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. You guys want to see a masterclass in negotiation, just watch all the stuff that’s going on with Trump and Iran and Israel and Trump and Ukraine and Russia. Those are some messy ass situations. They had a cease fire declared, and then Israel dropped a bunch of bombs, like within an hour after Trump announced it. Iran fires missiles back. Israel retaliates. And I just saw a video clip. He’s fucking pissed. Dropping f bombs.

It’s pretty interesting to watch. But understanding that, I mean, the strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. And so again, back to our email here. This girl getting upset or this woman getting upset that he didn’t try to fight for her. What does that communicate? Her feelings crept back up on her and she didn’t like the thought of him no longer being in her life in any way, shape or form. And so all she’s doing. And you should just look at that, oh, that’s good intel. That means she missed me.

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Corey,

Two months ago a great lady broke up with me mainly because I was too clingy and needy, I believe. She also said that things moved too fast, but we both really liked/loved each other early on.

Woah. Easy. Read the book, buddy. Measured steps. Just because you’re 62 doesn’t mean you need to be in a mad dash for the finish line. At your age, you should be going slower than she is.

And as 60-year-olds we both have accumulated some baggage that gets carried into new relationships. She wanted to remain friends, but I told her that would not work for me. She would occasionally reach out via texts, and I would respond but I never initiated communications. Two days ago she indicated that she wanted to start dating me again. She admitted that she missed me, but was also surprised and “hurt deeply” that I didn’t fight harder to keep her since I had told her in the past, I would not give her up easily (telling her that was probably a mistake in itself?).

Woah. Easy. Read the book, buddy. Measured steps. Just because you’re 62 doesn’t mean you need to be in a mad dash for the finish line. At your age, you should be going slower than she is.

I definitely wanted fight for her, but was pretty sure that would just push her away even more based on your teachings, especially since I had already been too needy. 

Yep. Yeah, I wouldn’t have said that. All she’s really trying to say is she likes you and she wants you romantically again. And she’s afraid that you don’t feel the same way. That’s all. Because again, you told her, “no matter what, I’m going to be here” because he probably saw too many Disney movies. And then when she started being fearful that he’s gone forever, she didn’t like that. So that’s why she brought it up. Because she’s like, well, you told me that you were gonna always be there. The important thing is she brought it up. That means it bothers her. The thought of you not being in her life bothers her.

That’s a good sign. That’s what you want. That’s all you should take it as. Because women say, oh, you got to fight for me. You got to chase me. You got to pursue me. It’s like, no, she friend zoned you. She fucked it up. She’s gotta fix it. So you follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. And just like the book says, your job is to create an opportunity for sex. And it’s not to get back together or any of that. It’s just to hang out, have fun and hook up. Create an opportunity for sex. Now she says she wants to date again, invite her over to your place to make dinner in the evening. No lunches, no coffee breaks, no going to her place. No driving to see her. No going to pick her up.

She’s got to come to your place at least three dates in a row, and then she does all three dates, and you hook up all three times. Then you can meet her out and pick her up. But let her do 100% of the reaching out because you smothered her to the point where you literally turned her off and chased her out of your life. And she tried to friend zone you to keep you around and you correctly said, yeah, I’m not interested in that. And credit to you, you stuck to your guns. You didn’t reach back out, you didn’t break No Contact. No Contact means you were never, ever going to speak again as long as you lived unless she reached out to you first.

I’m trying to be smart about this and not be blinded by her physical beauty while also making her feel heard and understood. I need to get that sexual polarity back where it belongs and not be seen as just a great male friend or emotional support.

Thanks, 

Bob

Well, the phone’s for setting dates, so she says she wants to start dating you again. So the next time she reaches out, invite her over to make dinner at your place. Hang out and have fun, hook up. That’s it. Follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and read the book. It’s free to read on the Members Area on the website. You got no reason and no excuses not to learn it. So this is what you want. This is when you go. No contact. When especially when a girl tries a friend zone, you’re like, yeah, I don’t think so.

And now she’s even bringing up getting together and dating you again. So now all you got to do is next time you hear from her, invite her over, make dinner at your place, hang out, have fun, hook up, keep it simple. And let her be the one to lock you down in all those things. So like I said, you definitely need to be reading the book and understand what’s in it. I assume you’re probably kind of new to my work, and again, it’s free to read at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the Email Newsletter.

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