What it means when you want to date a woman you really like, but she says that she wants to be “friends first” before dating and considering a relationship. How to determine if you’ve really got a chance or if friends first really means rejection.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been bullshitting himself into believing he has a chance to turn his girl friend into a girlfriend, despite her repeatedly telling him that she’s only interested in being friends only and friends first before a relationship is a possibility. He’s totally confused by her intentions and meaning.
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Coach Corey Wayne Merchandise
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“We tend to project our desires, dreams, ideals and hopes on to people who either don’t measure up or who will let us down. We often only see what we want and ignore the fact that what we want does not feel the same way about us. We often bullshit ourselves into believing that things in life are either better than they actually are or worse than they actually are, but very rarely do we tend to see things as they actually are. Most people will do more to avoid pain & disappointment, than they will risk to potentially experience pleasure & reward.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Eli says
Alright so here it is, my last resort.
So hey Corey, Look, I’m 17 and I really need your help.
School started a month ago and there’s a new girl came to my class, I was the first to approach her, nothing serious, just asked where is she from etc. I got her number and straight out after like 3 texts I asked her if she wants to hang out. She then told me she has a boyfriend (She actually does) but she kept repeating from then on things like “but we’ll see” “but we never know” stuff like that, since then we kept on good connections and I always kept my intentions and body language clear. We had couple unofficial dates, like when the school day ended and stuff like that, and everything was extreamly good, She touched me alot, played with her hair and everything, I did however did some stuff wrong, I did talk to her on the phone a bit much and we texted alot aswell, but when I didn’t contact her for a while she initiated the conversation in “where you at?” and questions like that. She knew I love her, from maybe 10-15 days after I met her (We first met at in 1/9 been almost month) but even after knowing my intentions and knowing that she has a boyfriend she kept talking to me and we kept seeing each other, she kept giving me these looks in class and every single sign you can imagine, that’s atleast what I think. She also however called me and cried on the phone that she fought with her boyfriend and she would have broken up with him if she didn’t love him like that, which got me confused tbh. Forgot to mention that she moved from really far city to my city, so she sees her boyfriend once in a while (every 2 weeks averge). We had a moment when we almost kissed in a park, out lips were so freaking close that I could really feel it happening. But then she stopped and you know… She didn’t take off or anything straight away, she actually let me accompany her for her bus, and then kissed me on the chick as she took off. Things have gotten really bad between us because about 4-5 days ago I sent her a long text saying I don’t wanna make a mess in her life and be the reason she will break up with her boyfriend and I won’t call anymore and won’t text and messed the shit out of it, I know, my fu***ing bad. Anyway, she turned cold to me in texts and in person, not like it used to be at all, 2-3 days ago I sent her “If something don’t go as planned with your boyfriend, feel free to give me a call” she replied with “you’re overeacting etc” nothing really long, forgot to mention she did say that she wants us to be friends because she has a boyfriend she did however also say that of course something else would have happend if not her boyfriend and that how she also let me feel and I saw how she behaved around me and how she spoke and her bodylanguage everything was really cool. Kinda don’t know what to do now since I left it as you always suggest, to her call if to contact again or not, the thing is, my whole school want he (I was the only one she was that close to). And I fear that leaving it like that will make her forget about me and all the others dudes will be in her head. Really confused. WOULD LOVE TO GET YOUR HELP! I truely need it, I really think this is the woman of my life, my dreams, she can push me to do great things, she motivates me. I really need your help Corey! thanks in advance.