She’s A Drifter & Just Passing Through, But We Had A 
Good Time

Learning to love without attachments enables you to be happy & free from suffering.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss a success story of a guy who had an old friend of 25 years he used to hook up with about 10 years ago show back up into his life for the past year and a half while his mother was dying. She was long distance and used to drive 2 hours each way to see him. However, her ex-husband got injured and she started taking care of him. She slowly faded away from his life and he cut the cord with a sense of peace and completeness. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She’s A Drifter & Just Passing Through, But We Had A Good Time.”

So this particular email is a success story, a success story in this guy’s eyes. And you may have heard me say many times over the years that quote, “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” And “Love is allowing.” You basically allow somebody to love you who’s predisposed to do that. But the problem is, as you guys know that are familiar with my Book, and if you’re not, you can read it for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the Email Newsletter.

Love is allowing you allow somebody to love you. And what most of us guys tend to do is I wrote about in The Book, and most of you watching have done this at one time or another. We come across somebody. We meet somebody living our lives who really likes us and wants us and desires us. And what do we do? We talk and text, and say and do things that act unattractive, unmasculine, and we often chase these women right out of our lives. We completely talk and text them out of liking us.

And so what’s interesting about this story is that this guy is known this woman for like 25 years. And about ten years ago, they hooked up for about six months when she was separated from her husband. So, I don’t know, maybe they grew up together. They were childhood friends, but she was always with somebody. And when she was separated, he had his chance. They dated for about six months and then moved on. And then so at some point in the last year or two or 2 or 3 years, she got back in touch because she finally divorced her husband and that relationship was over.

And so he started dating her. She lived like 2 or 3 hours away. And so she would drive all the way to see him. And then right after he started seeing her, his mother got terminally ill and so he took care of her. And this woman was kind of like an angel. She also helped take care of his mom and was there until she passed. And recently, a few months ago, after about a year and a half together and being exclusive, her ex-husband had a bad accident and I guess shattered both of his feet.

And so she started taking care of the ex-husband, and he just noticed she kind of started fading away. Coming to see him less and less. And it was pretty clear she was spending more time focused on her, her ex-husband taking care of him, because that seems like that’s kind of the way the spirit she is as a person. But he could take it or leave it. And he loved her. But it’s clear he wasn’t head over heels in love with her, or wasn’t willing to do all the things he needed to do to make the relationship official where she lived with him.

And he broke things off, and he has peace with it. He has peace. He has a sense of It’s a contentment, and it just kind of embodies loving in such a way that the person you love feels free. And another thing is, when you really, truly love somebody, you want them to be happy, even if it’s not with you. And I wrote about this in my Book. It’s a great place to get to as a man because when I was younger, you think that the ultimate woman is going to make you happy. She’s going to be the be all, end all. And when you have enough of those kinds of relationships, you kind of get over that.

You kind of realize that’s not what love is really about. Love is not about possessing somebody. It’s about giving to them. Love is an act, after all. You go to a relationship to give. And in this particular case, these two came together again. They’ve been in each other’s lives for 25 years. More than likely, they’ll probably always be in each other’s lives. But again, he’s not crying the blues or he’s sad about it. He broke things off, and probably because he really didn’t want to continue. He wasn’t super into it.

And so it’s a good email to kind of learn from, just to kind of see what it’s like to love without attachments, to love in a healthy way, where you want the best for the other person. And now she’s helping her ex-husband recuperate, and it was made it easy for him to tap out and get back on with his life. But she was there the whole time while his mother was dying and helping him, which is a, you know, again, that’s what a little angel would do for you. So that’s a pretty sweet thing.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I hope you are doing fantastic, as usual.  Long time follower and I’ve read all of your books countless times over the years and I’m also a paid Subscriber on your YouTube Channel. 

If you’re watching this and you haven’t, or you aren’t already a Paying Premium Member in the Video description is Video there are links to join on YouTube, or you can join on Spotify or the Website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab when you get there. With the Website, you can do a seven day free trial and check out all the content that you get for your money. And if you choose an annual plan on the Website, you get a 25% discount for paying the whole year’s premium up front. But again, you can only do that on the Website, so wherever you Subscribe is where you consume the content.

YouTube doesn’t give you access to Spotify, and Spotify doesn’t give you access to my Website. Wherever you want to consume the content is where you’re going to Subscribe. And so with the Website, you also get the Email Analysis that goes along with these. Plus, there’s going to be a bunch of Videos that are on the Website that are just not on YouTube, just because there’s things I can’t say and talk about on YouTube. So again, UnderstandingRelationships.com click the “plans” tab when you get there, or click one of the links in the Video description to join whatever platform you like.

You also responded to an email of mine on a previous Video Newsletter in March 2023. I wanted to share a success story (to me), even though things didn’t work out with the girl. Quick back story. I’ve known her for 25 years, we dated for six months about nine years ago while she was separated from her (now) ex-husband. At that time, they had decided to stay married for their teenage child and I told her nine years ago that if anything ever changed for her to reach out and wished her well. About two years ago, I got a text from her asking if she could drive down to see me. I live two hours South of her. I happened to be out of town, two hours North of her, and I invited her up for the weekend to my Airbnb, and I learned that she was now divorced (recently).

I already know, from your teachings, things can be unpredictable with a newly divorced woman. However, I’m also not looking for long term relationships, as I don’t plan to marry or live with a woman after getting 12 years of alimony to my ex-wife who I was married to for 18 years. Three more years to go on the alimony. The success of this story is how I applied what I’ve learned and had an amazing relationship for a year and a half and how I understood the risks that you teach of dating somebody recently out of a marriage or long-term relationship.

Yeah. Somebody that’s just out of a long-term marriage or relationship, they’re going to be back and forth all over the ice. And so I don’t know if that means that she was back and forth with her ex-husband and finally divorced him, and that’s when she reached out. But I guess they dated like nine years ago. It was just for six months, and she decided to stay with her husband.

She drove two hours north to see me and I took her out to four different places that afternoon and back to my Airbnb, hooked up, and she has done 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing ever since thanks again to your teachings of 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. After that weekend, she began driving two hours down to stay the weekend at my house every weekend, leaving me random love notes and she was totally focused on the bonding and connecting. A couple months into our dating, she kept dropping hints that she refers to me as her boyfriend to all her friends. 

The first time she mentioned this, I didn’t bother to ask what she means. I cracked a lighthearted joke about a relationship cramping my dating life and changed the subject. At that time, I was still dating two other women casually and wasn’t interested in a committed relationship, let alone long distance of two hours away. Anyways, she brought this up again about four months into our dating and I reciprocated with, “what do you mean?” and she explained that she loved me and wanted me all to herself.

During this time, my mom had fallen terminally ill and fell under my care. And this girl was showing up like clockwork every weekend, driving two hours, and I didn’t have time for the other women I was dating. My Mom fell in love with her, eventually passed away with this girl by my side every step of the way. And I finally had time to create some fun experiences with my girlfriend, traveling all over the world. At any rate, after a year and a half of being exclusive, her efforts and enthusiasm began to wane. The ex-husband got injured at work and her big heart stepped up to help him out. He shattered both of his feet on the job.

Well, that doesn’t sound very pleasant.

This would have been an issue for me if I were looking for a long-term girlfriend; but I was totally comfortable with it and supported whatever she felt she needed to do to help him out.

Remember, “you must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” So he’s done the whole marriage thing. He’s still paying the alimony, and every month when he writes that check, it’s a constant reminder of how much he doesn’t want to get married or be with one woman. And it’s understandable. Anybody that’s gone through a divorce is like, that’s not a lot of fun.

After all, love is giving, and I want her to feel free to do what she wants. She began coming down only once every six or so weeks and the relationship slowly faded, which I anticipated. She became less available, less engaging and she stopped trying to earn my love and attention and that’s when I knew it was time to cut the cord. To me, a true success story of having a woman completely in her feminine and me in my masculine and following 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. I was allowing, every step of the way and I know that someday she’ll be back; as I continue to be focused on my purpose and mission and being the best version of myself. Thanks again for all your teachings! I’m getting better at all of this! Now to get my rotation going again, after I take some time to heal a little from my Mom’s death and the ending of this loving connection.

Sincerely,

Bob

Well, Bob, welcome to my world. So again, until you truly experience things like this, it’s going to seem foreign and absurd to a lot of people. But again, when you’ve kind of had your fill and you’ve had the ultimate woman in your eyes and you’ve got an experience, many of those kinds of love stories, you realize that every relationship is an opportunity to grow.

It’s an opportunity to give more. And again, he’s got a great head about him. He’s totally unattached to things being a certain way, and that’s the best way. “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” Pretty cool.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

And again, like I mentioned earlier in the Video, if you haven’t already signed up for our Paying Members Only Content, you can do a seven day free trial on our Website, UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab when you get there, and you can also join on YouTube or Spotify.

If you just strictly want to consume videos, I would recommend YouTube or Spotify. And I put the same stuff on my Website that I have on Spotify. But there’s stuff that I won’t put on YouTube just because they won’t let me. So again, UnderstandingRelationships.com click the “plans” tab. And until next time I will talk to you soon.