How to turn things around after your woman went cold and backed away, because she got mad that you don’t chase her.
In this video-coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from the viewer whose email I discussed in my recent newsletter titled, “She’s Mad Because I Don’t Chase.” He details what he did and said to turn things around. He says everything is on track, and they’re back to beating each other’s pelvises up doing the Indoor Olympics. What’s really great is that he was able to turn things around intuitively on his own before I had the time to answer his first email. It turns out he knew my book better than he thought. He’s pretty self-reliant, and hopefully his latest email update inspires you to become the same in your own life. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
Well Corey, I’d like to say thank you for doing the video, (“She’s Mad Because I Don’t Chase.”), and looks like it stirred up some shit this morning, LOL. I’m reading through the comments, and I’m just laughing my ass off, because of course there’s not enough detail for them to know who I really am or what’s really going on, but that’s the gist of it.
Every weekend I take her ass somewhere new. (So in other words, it never gets boring and dull or routine. That’s really super important. It keeps her excited and engaged. One of our six human needs is variety. You don’t want to do the same things over and over again because it gets boring and predictable, and that turns women off.) Wine tasting, or restaurants, or we cook around the house, or we go to a game or go to shows and shit like that.
When we’re together, she can’t keep her goddamn hands off of me. Sometimes I think I’m going to have to go on the pill just to keep up with her, LOL. (When a woman’s happy and she’s really in love, she’s all over you and she wants you inside of her as often as possible. It’s all about becoming one. It’s oneness, it’s togetherness, it’s nesting.) I’m only 32, and she’s 29 and wants it all the time, 3 or 4 times a day. (As they say, men tend to peak sexually around 18 years old, and women supposedly peak around their early 30’s.) Then when she leaves, she sends me messages saying she wants me to fuck her again.
Anyway, after I sent you that email, I did end up reaching out to her with a simple, hey babe how’s your day… (You realized you were being too much of a cold fish. You were starting to figure out what you were doing wrong.)
Her: Hey, how are you, what’s up?
Me: It’s our day, so just checking to see if you want to get together later on.
Her: I have plans with one of my friends.
(Remember, you must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, so here’s where you’re seeing the power of giving her freedom. Showing her you want her and desire her, and reaching out for the first time, because after a whole year of dating, she’ believed it was fucking impossible and you were never going to do it. And she even busted your balls about it.)
Me: Okay cool. You should go spend time with your friends.
Me: Have a good day.
Her: You too.
Her: Well damn, she just canceled! I made reservations, so would you like to go instead?
(Isn’t that interesting? It shows where her priorities are.)
Me: Sure babe. You know that’s one of my favorite spots. Damn, she don’t know what she’s missing.
Her: Something’s going on with her kids, so she can’t make it.
Me: Okay, I’ll pick you up at 5.
So I went to pick her up, and when she came out of the house, as I usually do, I opened the door for her, gave her a kiss, smacked her on the ass, and she got in the car. We went to the restaurant, and she was holding back, and then she let loose and started telling me how she felt, and that she just wanted me to make the small change and all of that. I told her that it really wasn’t anything personal, and that I’m really busy right now, and she says, yeah I know, but it’s the little things that make me happy. (So in other words, you’re doing something that she’s been asking you to do for the past year. It was a little thing, but it meant a lot, because remember, scarcity creates value. It shows you listened, you cared and she was important enough for you do that.)
I said, okay baby I’ll do my best. We drank some wine, had an amazing dinner and needless to say, I was raw by the next morning. I definitely think the time apart was good for both of us, as I definitely missed her, and I know she missed me. (Scarcity creates value, so it sounds like you made up for it.) I just think she wanted to see if I was going to chase after her. (She just wanted to see that you cared enough to reach out.) When she does reach out to me, I’m always making her laugh and bullshitting with her, and the conversation always turns into when is the next time we’re going to be jumping each other’s bones. (When women are happy and in love, they’re blowing up your phone and wanting to be all up on you. It’s pretty awesome that you’ve got this kind of passion after a year of dating.)
I guess it just doesn’t come natural to me to be reaching out during the day and being in a relationship like this considering I was with my wife for 12 years, and I saw her daily. I’d much rather be close by my woman, versus communicating via phone. (Exactly. It’s just doing a little bit more than you were doing. One action step per week. A little goes a long fucking way with women.) She understands that. What’s crazy is, she doesn’t even give me a chance to reach out to her, because a lot of times she has reached out to me early in the morning. I haven’t even SSS yet.
Anyway, to sum it up, we’re back on track and fucking each other’s brains out as we’ve been. We just had a little hiccup. (But now because of this little hiccup, you’re closer, she’s happier, and she’s going to be thinking about you more and more in terms of long-term plans, because after a year, you actually changed your approach a little bit, because you knew it was important to her. And she’s over the moon at that. This is all about meeting each other’s needs. To help each other grow and become more. The whole purpose of a relationship is, you go there to give.) I think deep down she knows what I bring to the table, and I also value her, and she likes to start a little shit every now and then. (Of course. Women want to mix it up, especially the hot, beautiful ones. It makes things interesting.)
I believe women say they want a man chasing them but deep down they really don’t. (Ding! You are correct.) She just wanted a little affection and to not feel like she’s the only one pursuing me. (A small, tiny bit.) I’m just being me and my focus is on my business and my children, and it’s a balancing act of trying to keep her happy as well. I’m reading the book now for the 9th time. I have the Kindle version and the audio version.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Being a self-reliant human being means being able to successfully negotiate for who and what you want in your life. You must believe enough in your own value to perfect your skills, gifts and talents that are in demand in the economy, so you can add value through a useful product or service and receive financial compensation for the value you contribute. The more value you contribute, the more you should be able to earn by using the right mechanics, procedures systems, tools and financial compensation models. Learn how to do it from the best, model what they do successfully day in and day out, adapt it to your own life, and you should achieve similar results. 80% of getting what you want is the result of believing and acting as if you are worthy. The other 20% is learning and acquiring the proper mechanics, knowledge, actions and details to make it a reality. A self-reliant person is a seeker of knowledge and a person of action who implements that knowledge to achieve a predictable and desired outcome, or result.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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