Some simple principles you can use to pick up women in a nightclub setting or when you encounter them in public settings to lower your risk of rejection.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who is beating himself up over missing opportunities where he could tell women were interested, but he froze up and did not approach.
The second email is a success story of how a nineteen-year-old guy successfully approached and picked up a girl in a nightclub who was with a bunch of other girls and guys. He shares how he created rapport with everyone and got welcomed into the group and what he did and said to pick her up successfully with the blessing of her group of friends, even though it was obvious some of the guys in her group were interested in her also. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.
First Viewer’s Email:
I am sometimes unsure of the opposite getting a proper reading. I am confident with in myself, but sometimes I freeze up when I should be saying something.
(That’s okay. Some days you’re just simply not going to be in the mood to talk to anybody. And other days, you’re going to be feeling great, and you’re going to be willing to talk to anybody you encounter. That’s why I place such a huge emphasis on focusing on you and making yourself happy, focusing on your mission and your purpose first and foremost. As you accomplish that, as you see progress in your life, you feel better. You feel happier. When you feel happier and you have a little bit more confidence in yourself, you feel like things are going to work out and turn out okay in the future. You’re more approachable. You’re more friendly. Women notice that and they pick up on that vibration.
Do whatever it takes to put yourself into a peak state, a happy state, and find a way to be proud of yourself and your life where you’re at. Even if you know you’re a decade or two away from being where you really want to be. Unsuccessful people have a ton of reasons why they can’t achieve or succeed or get to where they want to be, so they do nothing. And when they do nothing, guess what, they’re not practicing. Without practicing, you simply cannot get better.)
Example: I was at the grocery store and noticed this attractive girl. She saw me looking at her and smiled. I played it cool and just kept walking.
(When you make eye contact like that and you smile, most of the time it means they’re interested in you. They like what they see. But that’s not always the case.)
In the store, at another point, I saw her again. It felt as if there was a slight flight with the eyes. As I was leaving, walking to my car, wouldn’t you know there she was at her car. Here is the catch though, I did not react to her.
(You chickened out. That’s okay. It happens.)
Her car was somehow parked right next to mine, the same way that I parked, so both cars were rear to each other.
(When I look at things like that, I’d say the universe has totally arranged a meeting between you and a girl, and both of you are going to find each other attractive. The rest is up to you.)
I don’t know why I did not say something cute like “Are you following me?” or “Wow, hello again. I’m Bob, and we even parked next to one another the same way. Kinda funny,” in a flirty way.
(You were right there. This was a good opportunity to do something. But what’s holding you back? Fear, or being afraid of looking stupid or it not working out.)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
(What’s the worst that can happen? It doesn’t always work out. Sometimes they’re taken and they just like looking.)
Second Viewer’s Email:
I just wanted to reach out to you and thank you for all the help your videos have given me. I have just recently subscribed to your newsletter and am going to start reading the book to better myself even further. I am a 19-year old male from Massachusetts. I’ll keep this pretty brief. Obviously feel free to critique me if you feel I could’ve done something any differently.
Here’s my story. Recently, I was at a nightclub in Boston with a few friends of mine that we regularly hit up. It’s usually open every Tuesday, so it is a pretty good spot to go, have fun, and meet some new people. At one point during the night I was dancing with a group of buddies, when I saw another group of people next to us. I looked over and made eye contact with one of the girls who was dancing. She smiled and looked down, so obviously I walked over.
(You got an invitation, and that shows a lot of confidence. That’s great. It’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.)
There were a few guys dancing with her and her friends, and it was obvious they were trying to pick her up.
(She’s got dudes in her circle that like her, so this can be a sticky situation. A lot of guys would really be intimidated about this kind of situation, because obviously some of those guys are hitting on her or want to date her, and she’s there with her girlfriends who are going to try and protect her.
So how do you handle this? You want to make allies with people. You want to be friendly and ask questions. You want to go over and introduce yourself, shake the hands of the guys in the group, kind of get the lay of the land, figure out who’s in the group and what’s going on.)
I noticed they were kind of awkward and didn’t really seem that confident.
(Obviously you’ve learned some of the body language I talk about in my book and my videos.)
I used the strategy you taught in your video “Dating: Eliminating Your Competition.” I was friendly to the guys, I introduced myself to everyone and we all started dancing.
(You came over and presented yourself as a friend and ally, just a guy that’s friendly to everybody. If you don’t take time to build rapport with other people in the group, they’ll blow you right out of it, especially if you’ve got guys that are thirsting after the same girl.)
I hung back for a bit observing, then after about 2 minutes in, I looked at the girl, made eye contact and moved closer.
(You were not in a rush. You were taking your time.)
One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I had taken her hand, asked her to dance and she was grinding on me. The other guys walked away, and one even high-fived me, Lol.
(They couldn’t get anywhere with her, then you did. So since you took the time to build rapport and be friendly with them, now they saw you as an ally, because all of those guys probably want to date her and now you’re part of the group. Then they high-fived you as if, “Hey at least one of my friends got to date her.” That’s the attitude instead of, “This dude came in and stole our girl!”)
Long story short, at the end of the night I walked her back to her car, joking with her and talking, and we ended up making out. I got her number, and we have plans to meet up soon.
If it wasn’t for your videos, I would never be as confident as I am today in picking up girls and life in general. Thank you so much for your work, and I plan to follow it until I fully become a 3% man.
(Thanks for sharing it. This was a simple success story. A very simple technique to get in, just build rapport. I encourage everyone to look at my article and video referenced in this story, “Dating: Eliminating Your Competition.” The point is, you’ve got to be willing to take risks.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“You shouldn’t take yourself or life too seriously. It’s full of challenges, setbacks and unexpected circumstances. It’s smart to give yourself permission to fail and look like a fool in front of others. Failure and learning from failure is the best teacher and confidence builder. Failure should be looked upon as a necessary stepping-stone in your life journey that should be embraced, not avoided, so you can improve your skills, talent and competency. You can’t get better at anything unless you practice. Your willingness, or unwillingness, to fail and look stupid determines how quickly you will learn, grow and improve. Limiting your willingness to fail, look stupid and learn from it also limits what you can accomplish in life. Limiting your willingness to fail also means limiting your ability to succeed.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Click Anywhere on Today’s Instagram Image Below & You’ll Be Taken To My Instagram Page. When you get to my Instagram page, click the “Follow” Button so you can follow me on Instagram. I upload several new Instagram photos per week.