How you can master the art of being mysterious, so women feel more attraction, curiosity and interest in you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. Since he has only read through my book, “How To Be A 3% Man,” one time, he’s becoming attached to some of the things he has read and is in danger of acting like a robot on his future dates.
He brings up being mysterious, how being evasive and not answering her questions will make a guy appear evasive, and like he has something to hide, instead of being charmingly mysterious. I explain the subtle nuances of making a woman work to get to know you, versus telling her everything about you, and the differences between being mysterious, charming and playful, and being evasive. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I have a question that’s been on my mind since I first read your first book. Maybe I missed it in the book and need to go back and read it 10-15 times, which I will, but I would like some light on my question, so the next time I go back and read the book again, I’ll have your answer in mind.
My question is, how long or to what extent do you remain “mysterious?” In dates, or while dating, the women will ask questions in return. If you remain mysterious, not really answering and going around the question by replying playfully all the time, I’m assuming she’ll get tired of it and won’t take you seriously.
(I don’t say to do that all the time. What I say in the book is, 90% of the time, you’re a charming James Bond, and 10% of the time, you’re kind of naughty, you’re a little playful. You want to create the conditions where the woman is going to want to ask you questions. If she’s interested about you and your life, your hopes and your dreams, she’s going to want to know those things.
If she’s just out with you for a free meal, then she’s not going to ask you anything. You’ve got to get to know the person. They’re on probation as well. They should have to earn the chance to be with you as well. It shouldn’t be so one-sided where you’re just hoping they like you.
If you tell her everything about you and you’re boring, that’s just like telling the whole plot to a movie. It will turn her off. The idea is you want her to work to get to know you.
What does being mysterious look like? Maybe you can plan a date and not tell her. When are you going to call? It’s not calling on the same day every week and asking her out at the same time. If you care and you like the girl, you’re going to want to go out and do fun things. Don’t become boring and predictable. You want her to wonder about you.
By not volunteering everything, being unpredictable and having a life of your own, goals, mission, purpose, a business or career that you’re building, friends you hang out with, hobbies you have, going to the gym, taking care of yourself, being a fun, interesting guy helps enable you to appear mysterious.
It’s not about playing some fucking game with her. If you go out with her and you are evasive with every question, at some point in time she’s going to think, “Something’s weird. Something’s off with this guy.” The idea is to not be a robot, to understand the principles. Be different. Put some thought into it.
Again, you don’t do it all of the time, and the book tells you not to do it all the time. Just every once in a while, just messing with her a little bit. The whole idea is to be playful, to be fun. Don’t be such a fucking pushover.)
Further, if she stays in the relationship, she’s bound to know more about you or know you completely now, causing her to get bored since you’re not a mystery anymore. What I mean is, you can’t be mysterious forever, right?
(Well, there are things you can do to be mysterious. Think about it. The old adage from show business is, always leave them wanting more. In every television show or movie, there’s always a cliffhanger. There’s always some emotional tension that doesn’t get resolved. The only way it gets resolved is if you tune in next week or go see the sequel, so you can resolve that tension. That’s the mindset and philosophy behind this. It’s not about being evasive every time she asks you a question. The key is to be unpredictable, to be different. Don’t be just like everybody else.)
Thank you in advance, and thank you for sharing your knowledge.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women are like cats when it comes to dating in that they tend to stick around to find out more about guys who are mysterious, unpredictable and exciting, versus guys who are an open book, boring and predictable. Being mysterious is akin to not knowing the ending to a new movie release, so you can enjoy living in the present moment and the movie as it unfolds in real time. Being boring and predictable is akin to reading and knowing all the spoilers, major plot points and the ending of the movie before going to watch it and telling everyone what you know before they see the movie. The juice of life is to be found living in the present moment, where the future is never guaranteed or certain, despite the fact human beings have a fundamental need for certainty.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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