The cure for being confused by a woman when dating or trying to rekindle your romance, so you can get her to fall in love with you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss four different emails from four different viewers. The first email is from a guy who has been dating a woman for eight months, but she is not in love with him, and hasn’t brought up being exclusive or seeing him more. He’s dating several other women, but he really wants to get serious with her. However, it’s not progressing beyond two dates per week. He’s confused, because he says he’s following what my book teaches, but not getting the results he wants. The second email is from a guy who broke up with his girlfriend after he caught her in multiple lies. She’s now dating another guy, but he talks to her almost every day and is deluding himself into thinking he has something with her. I tell him what’s really going on and why it’s going nowhere.
The third email is from a guy who broke up with his girlfriend about two months ago. They didn’t talk for three weeks. He wants her back, but he’s caught her lying and is ignoring reality. I explain where he’s going wrong and why she is not treating him the way he wants. The fourth email is a success story from a guy who is twenty-six and who I did a phone session with four years ago. He shares several success stories since then, how he has choice with women and how you can too! My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.
First Viewer’s Email:
I’ve followed your work for nearly two years. I’ve read your book numerous times, and I can’t figure this girl out. Can you? Here’s the story.
I’m a 38, $200k income, $2million net worth, and definitely on my purpose; she’s 23, and she just graduated college. She’s very, very, beautiful and she turns heads everywhere she goes. Anyway, we started dating eight months ago. I followed your principles exactly: let her do 70% – 80% of the texting, talking, and pursuing, going on one date a week, etc.
Ideally, it’s that way in the beginning. If you had read the book 10-15 times, you would know that once you’ve been intimate with each other, she’s going to call and text you more. And at that point, you really just kind of let it go. If you’re going out on one date a week or every week and a half, she’s not going to want to wait four or five days or a week, and she’s going to text you things like “Hey I was thinking about you. The other night was amazing. I had a really great time,” and you assume, as the book teaches, that she wants to see you when she reaches out.
If a woman, after the second or third week of dating, is already texting you two or three times, you’re going to be seeing each other because it’s her idea. As she wants to bond and connect more, she going to feel comfortable reaching out. She’s going to want to know what you’re doing because her attraction level is growing. So it should never go over that 70-80%. The idea is to let her do most, if not all, of the calling, texting and pursuing, because women will naturally do this over time. Especially with a guy who has been with a woman many years. He’s focused on taking care of what he needs to take care of. He’s not stopping in the middle of the day to just chit-chat about nothing. He’s fucking busy.
Now, when a guy wants to pursue too much, she never has time and space away from him to wonder about him and for that attraction to grow. That’s just the way women are made. If you’re dating someone for eight months and you’re still doing 20-30% of the pursuing, it’s too much.
After we started at one date a week, we increased that to twice a week after about a month.
If it took a month to see each other twice, it doesn’t really sound like she was pursuing you. What does that mean? You’re probably calling and texting her too much. Attraction was not growing on her part.
The sex is out of this world – even spiritual. Sometimes it’s like an out of body experience, and I’m totally in love with her.
Think about that. Who do you think likes who more? It’s pretty obvious. Eight months later and you want a relationship, but you’re still not seeing each other as much as you want.
Plus, she’s smart, funny, optimistic, upbeat, and kind. She’s probably the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.
However, for the last six months, it hasn’t progressed any further, and she’s not giving me any signals that she’s falling in love with me. I’ve tried pulling back, sometimes waiting 4 – 5 days waiting for her to text me, and she always does eventually.
This tells me you are pursuing too much, you occasionally back off and then she reaches out, so you’re probably too afraid to really back off and you’re just doing too much pursuing. You’re also backing off to see if you can manipulate her. That’s somebody who doesn’t understand the philosophy of the book. It’s not about manipulation. It’s about understanding the ebb and flow, when to let go a little bit and when to pursue a little bit more. You don’t understand that.
But I think that if she really had strong feelings for me, she’d never go so long without reaching out. Don’t you think?
The problem is you are not letting her do most of the pursuing. You’re still doing way too much. You’re still trying to force things, because you’re in love with this woman. You think it’s a spiritual experience. And she seems to treat you like a guy she’s cool with seeing once or twice a week.
So, in order to fill my other open evenings, I have been dating four other women in a steady rotation of one night per week each. Even though I’d rather just be with the one girl I really like, I know that if I force it, she will run away, and I’ll lose her forever.
Well, you’re already forcing it too much. If you had read the book 10-15 times, you would have been able to see that’s what’s really going on here. You’re trying too much. Obviously you like her more than she likes you. She has all the power. You don’t.
I read somewhere that love is like a fart, if you force it, then it turns into shit. What do you suggest?
I suggest that in between your dates, just wait to hear from her, even if it’s four or five days. Get together, hang out, have fun and hook up. When she leaves or you drop her off, say “Call me later.” The next time she reaches out, assume she wants to see you and make the next date. You’re still doing too much calling, texting and pursuing.
What I see a lot of in my phone sessions is guys go right up to that window, and they really like the girl, they’re terrified to just hang back and do nothing. And so they never push beyond that fear of “what if I don’t hear from her after three or four days?” But what happens after four or five days, she starts to think about you and wonder why she hasn’t heard from you, her attraction grows, she reaches out, you get together but then you go right back to over-pursuing and her attraction kind of goes back down. That’s not going to get you anywhere. You’re doing too much. I would just wait to hear from her, then make the next date when you do.
Do I just leave things the way they are and remain patient? Or do I rearrange my dating rotation and demote this girl I really like to only one night a week?
Again, you’re thinking “how can I manipulate her to do what I want?” What you’re not seeing is you’re pursuing too much, because if you look at her actions, she’s just not feeling it. And you’ve got to be willing to let her go. Just say, “Well, she’s not that into me. When she misses me, she’ll reach out.” But you can’t wait, respond and then go back to over-pursuing, because then it goes right back to where it was.
Basically, take a step back, so to speak, and see someone else more often.
Second Viewer’s Email:
Thanks for everything you do. It’s so nice where people can go to get good sound advice on relationships.
I am 53, and she is 31. I am dating a psychologist, and its very tough with all her head games she is playing.
That’s why you need to read “How To Be A 3% Man” 10-15 times. And I would qualify that you are dating a psychologist. The reality is, because I’ve coached hundreds of them over the years, that every psychologist says to me jokingly, “Well, you know why I became a psychologist? Because we’re so fucked up, and we’re trying to figure out our own brains.” So it’s a possibility that you may have a fucked up girl here.
I have found myself in a tough spot and would really like to get your opinion on my situation.
I met this gorgeous Latin woman 3 years ago, and it’s been a fairy tale for 3 years. Everything was perfect up until a few months ago. My girlfriend was visiting her hometown in Colombia, and a friend approached me with some unexpected news of her. He came over and noticed my girlfriend had 2 dating profiles on different sites. So, I contemplated telling her at first, and decided to wait until she came home to be face to face.
That was a good move.
I will admit I was very upset about the whole situation.
That was understandable dude. Remember, she’s supposed to be a psychologist and have her shit together. And that doesn’t sound like something a woman who has her shit together would do.
She told me that she did not do this and one of my friends was trying to break us up, that someone made up these two profiles and used her pics. (Yeah, right.) She must think I’m stupid.
Well, more than likely you’ve probably been gullible about other things, so if you were to take a step back and think, how many other half-truths has she told me over the three years? You’d probably say, “Yeah, I hate to admit it Corey, but you’re probably fucking right.”
So needless to say, I told her that I did not want to see her anymore, and she left crying. From that point on, I went no contact for several months until around Christmas when she reached out to wish me a Merry Christmas. So, we spoke very briefly, and she mentioned how she loved my mother’s goodies. So, what did I do? I went over and dropped some off to her.
I would not have done that. If you follow what “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” says she needs to come to you. She needs to earn another chance with you. You don’t go running after a woman who after three years of a supposed perfect relationship find out she’s got two other dating profiles. Number one, she’s a liar, and number two, she’s trying to line up a replacement. You’ve to to read “How To Be A 3% Man” so you can see what the fuck’s going on.
Well, when I arrived, I noticed a truck in the driveway, and she said it was one of her friends from Colombia staying with her (yeah, right). But I delivered my package and left. I immediately went back to no contact for a few more months, and to my surprise she showed up at my work crying.
Probably because whoever the other dude was got tired of her bullshit, and she knew you were probably going to be a sucker for her sob story and go, “Oh okay.”
I invited her in my office, and we spoke for a while. She expressed interest in getting back together, and it happened rather quickly.
So for the next months, things were pretty good, but my gut kept saying something was not right.
Well, she’ obviously lied to you on multiple occasions. You recognize that. You also broke up with her because she was cheating on you, and was lying. So you chasing after her, dropping off goodies and all that stuff just basically communicated you’d put up with anything. And on top of that, you’ll go right back to being Mr. Nice Guy, being Mr. Doormat. This is the kind of woman you keep as a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, open relationship, until you find a good woman.
My book is not going to turn her into a good woman. You can’t do that. She already had character flaws before you met her. She obviously hasn’t changed. But what she does know is that she can pretty much dick you around, and you’ll be like, “Thank you, may I have another?”
She told me she got a new job, and she was working long hours. I later found out they were working together, and she still works there to this day with him.
Here is where my mistake happened… I went by her work one day and then her home. I happened to mention this to her. She became very annoyed! Then I started noticing all the lies about her whereabouts.
We still communicate almost daily.
Meaning you still probably reach out to her daily, hoping you will change her mind, which again furthers her behavior and says, “Yeah, you can keep dicking me over fucking some other guy, but hey, no problem. I still love you.”
But she has lost respect and trust in me.
Well, you should have lost trust in her because she’s a liar and a cheater.
Now she is very distant, hard to talk with,
Again, you’re seeking her approval, “Hey, please talk to me.” “Hard to talk with” — that statement, again I can tell you’re pushing too hard.
verbally abusive and seems to be in love with the thought of being negative with me.
She’s disgusted by you acting like a beta male and allowing her to treat you like a doormat. I mean, she had two dating profiles and yet you’re stopping by her house, you’re calling her all the time, and she just enjoys beating up on you, hoping that you’ll stand up to her and stop chasing after a girl who’s just disrespecting you constantly.
Through all of this I’m maintaining my alpha position… (Lol).
Come on man. Seriously dude. I can’t believe you wrote that. I know it’s fucking harsh, but I’m not going to blow sunshine up your ass. That’s not okay. You think you’re maintaining your alpha position by driving by this girl’s house and calling her all the time? And on top of that, when you call her she’s an ass? If she called me, I would be like, “Look, I don’t like the way you’re talking to me. You’re a liar. You’ve cheated on me. I don’t believe anything you say. And if you want another chance with me, then you should bring some wine over and make me a nice home-cooked meal, and I’m happy to listen. But you’re not going to talk to me this way.” Then say, “I’m going to go. Call me when you decide to act mature and actually have some integrity. Otherwise, it was great knowing you.”
She is Latin and very alpha female, and she just won’t let it go. Every time she calls/Skypes me, the conversation ends with negativity.
As I discuss in “7 Principles To Get an Ex Back,” the phone is for setting dates, to create an opportunity for sex to happen. To hang out, have fun and hook up, not to sit there, be her gay male girlfriend and entertain her while she’s flipping through the online dating profiles looking for your replacement.
I do my best to lead conversations away and make her laugh, but no way is that happening. I know it still hurts her, It’s only been a few weeks, but I could really use your help on this one.
Dude, stop calling and texting her. Never call or text this girl again. If you’re crazy enough to want more abuse from her, then by all means, when she reaches out, invite her over, but don’t go pick her up, don’t take her out on dates. Invite her over to hang out, have fun and hook up. You can be entertained, and you can see how well “How To Be A 3% Man” will work, but this is not girlfriend or wife material. You don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife. That’s the harsh reality.
Third Viewer’s Email:
So, my girlfriend and I dated for 9-10 months. About 6-7 weeks ago we broke up, didn’t see each other or talk for 3 weeks. Then, through text we agreed to meet at a bar/restaurant to talk.
Well, if you’re the one who got dumped, which is more than likely what happened, as “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” says, they need to come to you. They fucked it up. They unilaterally changed the terms of your relationship, so if they are willing to see you, the furthest you’re willing to travel is from wherever you are in your house to the front door to let her in. If she isn’t willing to come over and make dinner together, you’re going to withdraw the offer. Because if you go meet her out, you’re allowing her to set the agenda and take the lead, and that’s why you ended up getting dumped in the first place.
She was very well put together and looked like she had spent some time getting ready. As we were talking, she was giving me lots of buying signals. We hugged outside in the parking lot for a good while and gently caressed and showed high amounts of affection.
I don’t hear anything about kissing, because maybe you’re too afraid. You probably cherry-picked a few videos thinking you would game this girl out. That’s a bad way to go my friend.
I didn’t want to put any pressure on the meetup by suggesting we get back to the house, so we said goodbye and parted ways.
See, if you would have invited her to come over to make dinner together, women know sex is on the table. When you’re meeting them out in neutral ground, dude, you go for the kiss. Your job as a man is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. That is the whole purpose of seduction. Hang out, have fun and hook up. It’s not to get into a relationship. It’s not to be Mr. Nice Guy. I mean, she dumped you. Then you go on this date and spend money on her, and you just hug her? You were with this chick for nine to ten months dude. It’s like you act like a priest or something.
When I got home. I received a text from her that said she loved me, and I texted her back and said it too. The next morning, she was texting me how much she missed me and that meetup brought back a lot of feelings for her. I suggested we meet up again later that week, and she agreed.
I would say, “Oh you miss me? Well, why don’t you come over and bring a bottle of wine? What’s your schedule like?”
Fast forward to date night… I reconfirmed that morning of our date, and she said yes, let’s do it.
It’s weakness to confirm. I have friends that have integrity, and I date women who have integrity. And if we make plans for a certain day at a certain time, I expect you to be there. I don’t hang out with fucking flakey-ass people that say it and show up two or three hours late. They get booted. The only reason you confirm is, that communicates it’s okay to waste your time, and you’re used to people wasting your time. Therefore, if you allow people to waste your time, then your time really isn’t worth anything. That’s why you act like a doormat. It’s okay to jerk you around, because any amount of disrespect, you’ll put up with it. That’s what you’re communicating dude, and that’s not masculine at all. That communicates that you are a low-value dude and you have a low opinion of yourself.
One hour before our date, she texted me she had to cancel and hasn’t been feeling well all day. I responded back with oh, okay. I hope you feel better. Is there anything I can do? I got no response. So, I called her. When she answered she played an Oscar winning performance of well-crafted lies to explain her ills.
Now you’re begging and chasing her. She blows you off, and on top of that, you’re calling and texting.
I told her okay, hope you feel better, maybe some other time and then left to go out on my own and eat at that place I had reservations for.
That’s why you don’t make reservations. She’s the one that has to earn you back, not the other way around. You’re just glad that she’s calling you now, and that’s why she’s jerking you around.
Thinking of her, I ordered a soup and decided on my way home I’d take it to her because at the time, I really did think she was sick.
Come on man. You knew it sounded like bullshit. You knew something was up.
I had sent her a few pics of the place while I was drinking and eating at the bar and said this could be us.
She was probably looking at that and laughing with the dude she was with.
When I arrived at her place, her car was gone and so was she and she responded to my text from the pictures of the restaurant and said, I’m in the bathroom at my house, and I’m really not feeling great.” I texted back that’s funny because I’m here at your house right as I’m receiving this text from you and your car and you are both not here. Lights are all off too.
She wrote back 30 minutes later, “I’m a piece of shit.”
Check please! If you’re like the last guy and you’re like, I’d like to get a taste of that one more time, then what I would do is read “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” invite her to your place to make dinner together, and just say, okay you can make it up to me for lying to me and blowing me off like that. Hang out, have fun and hook up. When you grovel and act like a doormat, it’s no bueno.
Fourth Viewer’s Email:
I hope you are doing well, and judging by all the content you have been pushing out over the last few years, it seems apparent that you are! I just wanted to make a short and sweet thank you letter because you have literally changed my life.
My name is Bob, 26. Four years ago we had a phone session, because I had a girlfriend that left me for another guy that completely derailed me.
So here’s a dude, just like the first three fucking dudes, that got burned because there was another fucking dude involved. That stinks, but that’s not the end of the story.
I found your content out of desperation and applied it. I got her back, but a year later I wasn’t really happy with her anymore and decided to break it off too and find my idea of a “10.”
It’s so much better to be the dumper than the dumpee. It feels satisfying because now you’re not wondering “What if I screwed up?” He got her back and he stayed with her a whole fucking year. Then he was like, “You know what? I can do better than this shit. I want a 10.”
I moved to a big city, went to a modeling event and immediately kicked it off with a professional 19-year-old Russian model! Following your dating advice and maintaining a masculine frame, I was able to easily attract and keep her. We had an amazing relationship of two years. Then, I decided to move on again and date without attachments.
I now have multiple young, attractive “girlfriends” vying for my attention, a position I could have never imagined would be possible, and it is all thanks to you.
Doesn’t that sound like a much better world to live in? Where you’ve got women competing for your attention and time versus begging a woman just to keep a date with you like these other guys were doing? Sure does to me.
Every single time I have a friend going through something I refer them to you, and some of us even joke around calling you “Sensei” or “Master” Corey Wayne, Lol. It’s cheesy but the impact really is that huge. I can honestly say you have saved my dating life, which has spilled into success into other areas.
I told you it wouldn’t just help your dating and relationship life. It could help everything in your life.
I couldn’t be happier. I would love to have a few drinks together someday, on me.
Thanks again Corey for all you do.
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. **Free with a new Audible.com membership
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women like men who are strong and confident and certain of what they bring to the table. They don’t like weak, groveling, approval-seeking beta males who are too afraid to stand up for themselves, or to them. They want men who will hold them accountable, that they can respect and admire, and who will call them out on their BS. They want men who are trustworthy, dependable, real and authentic. If you let women walk all over you and treat you like a doormat or second-class citizen, then they will never love, respect or want to be with you. High value men will walk away from women who don’t treat them well, even though it pains them to do so. Low value men will take whatever they can get, and all too often put up with tyrannical women who make their lives a living hell.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Click Anywhere on Today’s Instagram Image Below & You’ll Be Taken To My Instagram Page. When you get to my Instagram page, click the “Follow” Button so you can follow me on Instagram. I upload several new Instagram photos per week.