The cure for flakey female behavior, so she keeps your dates, is excited to see you, treats you with respect and makes you her boyfriend.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a guy who had a girl he went to high school with message him after he liked her profile picture. He’s made several dates with her only to have her cancel at the last minute for BS excuses.
The second email is an update from the viewer whose email I discussed in my most recent video newsletter titled, “Texting After Your First Date: When To Text, Chase or Back Off.” He shares what’s happened in the five months since he sent his original email in. The third email is a success story from a guy who had the same problem I used to have, talking women out of liking him. He details how he met his fiancée after getting rejected and “being useless” with women for most of his life. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.
First Viewer’s Email:
A really attractive woman who gets hit on a lot and has lots of choices with guys, she’s got to be able to separate the men from the boys. I talk about this extensively in my book “How To Be A 3% Man,” and also about making plans. This viewer said they didn’t know each other well. He passed her physical attraction test, but she doesn’t know much about him, so the only way she can determine whether or not he’s worth her time, in other words, he’s masculine, confident, has his shit together, has a busy schedule, and has his life and his purpose in order, is in the plans. This viewer asked me not to share his email, so I will just point out some key points of where he went wrong.
As I talk about in my book, your job as a man in the courtship is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun and hook up. You do this in the evenings. You don’t go on lunch dates or coffee dates. Those are the kinds of things you do if your intention is friendship. So the overall theme I saw with his texting exchange with her was he basically communicated that his time was worthless and she could waste it, cancel plans at the last minute and he was unsure of himself. He didn’t make a definite time to meet, he left it up in the air. He asks her where she wants to go, so right off the bat, that will ring an alarm in her mind. She wants a man who is a leader, who knows what he wants, who is direct, decisive and gets right to the point. Right away, he started communicating weakness.
- She asked him to get together.
This is great. That means he passed the physical attraction test.
- He didn’t make a definite time to meet up.
- He asked her where she wanted to meet, and she told him it was up to him.
Remember, women will help you if they like you, so she’s turning it around, basically saying, “Hey I want you to be the leader.” He had no idea she was testing his strength to determine whether or not he’s even worth her time. He literally talks her out of going out with him, because she recognizes he’s probably like 99% of the other guys who don’t have confidence, aren’t sure of themselves, and don’t have their life and purpose in order and expect to get it. He displays constant weakness with her.
- He suggested a place, and then she suggested another place, and he agreed to that.
- At noon on the day of the date, he asked if they were still on for coffee.
There’s no confidence there. Of course you’re still on. I’m busy. If I put you on my schedule, I expect you to be there. If I have people who are flakey or late, I just don’t associate with those people in any way. That’s why it’s important to be direct, decisive and get right to the point.
- She said no, she had to work and forgot about their coffee date.
In her mind, he never made any definite plans. And he’s communicating that his time is not very valuable. If you don’t value your time, women are certainly not going to value your time.
- She suggested they meet the next day, and he said it depended on the time.
If you say something like that, you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. She’s already sensing weakness.
- He said afternoon was better for him, and she then said morning was better for her.
- She asked if next week worked better for him, and he said he could make the morning work after all, (changing his schedule to match hers).
If you’re busy in the morning and you already told her the afternoon is better, you should say, “I’d love to see you, but I just can’t make the morning work. Yeah, let’s just plan on meeting next week.”
- He texted that morning to ask if they were still on, and she said she got called into work.
- He asked her when she was free to reschedule, and she never responded.
- He was willing to jump through his butt to meet and rearrange his schedule for her at the last minute.
- He made coffee dates instead of dates in the evening.
- She tested his strength, and he revealed he was weak and a pleaser, his time was worth nothing and she could waste it at will.
In other words, he didn’t have the balls to stand up to her. If you don’t have the balls to stand up to her, how are you going to protect her? How is she supposed to feel safe and comfortable? It’s not going to happen. He’s changing his opinion to please her, which displays weakness.
- That is why she blew him off.
She liked him, but he communicated weakness with just a few things in his text, and she could tell right away that he didn’t have his shit together as a man. She saved herself the time of going out on a date and being disappointed. Now she can spend her time with a guy who actually has a busy schedule and is not going to be jerked around. She used the phone to screen him out. She recognized from his texts that his balls hadn’t dropped yet, so he’s out.
Second Viewer’s Email:
Awesome, thank you very much for the detailed article and video, (“Texting After Your First Date: When To Text, Chase or Back Off.”)
I answered this email about five months after this guy sent it, so this guy continued to watch videos and read the book, and here he sends a good success story and update.
You’re 100% right about the way I’m perceiving myself. I’m still working on it, but luckily I’ve made much progression since I wrote you the email.
I love this. It’s a progression. Success is a process, and in order to feel successful, you’ve got to feel like you’re making progress. The goal is to get a little better each and every day, and this guy did that. He listened and followed instructions. That’s why I say read it 10-15 times, because it ingrains it in you. You don’t have to think about it.
BTW, maybe you’re interested in what happened with that girl. She called me two days later. Unfortunately, I missed her call, so I asked her out via text. She said she had only dialed my number by mistake and sent me another strange picture which didn’t make sense. Again, she ignored my invitation. At that point, I was a bit turned off and just replied, “No problem 🙂 Get in touch with me when you figure out your schedule, we’ll plan something then.”
That’s the correct response, because basically, she’s kind of wasting his time.
About four weeks later, she called me again. (She only let it ring one time.) I didn’t bother, because at that point I was already dating another girl I was really into. That girl became my girlfriend! Happy ending 😉
Congratulations dude. I think that’s fucking awesome. That’s part of having an abundance mentality. You can’t get too excited about one particular girl, especially if you’re just learning this stuff. Having other women in your life when you’re learning this, and you’re learning to display strength, having other choices and other options will give you a little bit of swagger. It will make you a little less willing to put up with bullshit and help you respond the right way, unlike the first guy did.
Third Viewer’s Email:
I don’t even know where to start with this email, but man, you’ve changed my life. I am 28, from England, and ever since I was a teenager, I was useless with women. I was fairly confident, so getting a first date was never the issue. My issue was, after a few weeks of dating somebody, my needy, insecure, serious self would start to show through the cracks. Needless to say, the women I dated started to become less available, which would make me pursue even more!
That was my teenage years and my twenties basically. I was this guy, and it fucking sucks. I was constantly doing things like the guy in the first email, and I had no idea.
I had had enough of this happening to me and was starting to wonder why girls liked me to start, but after getting to know me better, they’d distance themselves from me and eventually break up. Scrolling through YouTube, I came across your page and started to watch video after video. Thinking back now, I was like “are these videos ALL about me” as I could relate to 99% of them.
This is such a common problem. It’s really about how we perceive ourselves, how we look at the world, and we act consistently with how we view ourselves to be. If you don’t think you’re worthy, you’re going to behave just like the guy in the first email, and without even knowing it, you’ll talk a girl who likes you right out of going out on a date with you. A beautiful woman has lots of choices and lots of options, and she wants to be with a guy whose got his shit together. And quite frankly, most guys do not.
With this in mind, I downloaded your book How To Be A 3% Man.
In April 2018, me and an old female friend got in touch over Facebook after she had split up with her boyfriend of 4 years.
So this guy did it right, because he read the book. He had gotten to a point in his life and said, “No more of this shit. I’m going to figure this shit out one way or another.” He became a serious student and followed the principles in the book, and therefore, he displayed strength from the get-go.
We met up for a casual drink a few days later. (This was the first time I had seen her in over 5 years.) We had a really good laugh, and the conversation just flowed. Later on that evening, I received a text from her telling me she really enjoyed herself and that I seemed different and a lot funnier than she remembered.
I replied to her the next morning telling her it was great to see her too. I instantly received a text back telling me it would be good to do something else.
Boom! You immediately received a text back, because she really liked you and didn’t want to fuck it up. This is because you demonstrated high value consistently, unlike the guy in the first email who demonstrated a lot of low value. That’s high attraction.
I replied asking her when she was next free. Low and behold. she was free the following Friday. I’d gone from girls telling me they were busy to a girl making herself available.
That’s a night and day difference. Just a couple little subtle things of how you handle your texting. It’s the difference between success and blue balls.
Anyway, to cut to the point, we continued to date each other and eventually she brought up being exclusive to which I agreed. Eighteen months later, we are engaged and about to buy a home together.
Corey, I cannot thank you enough for your advice! This girl is the love of my life, and without you I would have had no chance of getting her.
One of my friends has had 7 relationships. He constantly argues with every girlfriend he has had until they eventually split up.
Well, as I talk about in my book, men who understand women don’t argue with them.
I tried to tell him about your work, and he laughs at me. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW!! Ha-ha.
Even though we’re engaged, I still read the book and watch the YouTube content, as I feel it’s important not to get complacent, as old habits could easily come back.
As long as you continue to do that, you will be successful.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women love men who are confident, risk takers and who go for what they want without fear. They like men to be direct, decisive and to get straight to the point. They want you to be sure of yourself and what you have to offer. It’s okay to be fearful, as long as you are not so overwhelmed with fear that you shrink from any and all challenges. They want you to be assertive, but not arrogant, and humble but not weak. The more confidence, humility and humor you display, the more women will say yes to you. The more uncertainty, indecisiveness and vagueness you display, the more they will say no and move away from you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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