The gift of hard times and how they can build your character, fortitude and resolve so you can reach your full potential.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who first found my work in 2015 after being laid off and desperately single. After two months, he ended up losing that job also and had a hard time finding another job. He details the struggles he went through over the next year and how he was able to stay focused enough to not give up, keep his girl and eventually find a great job.
He shares how the struggle has made him stronger, more resilient and more confident than ever before. It’s another great email success story that perfectly illustrates how committing to the fundamentals of success, high achievement, and taking consistent action, and knowing your outcome, will eventually yield success even when life seems hopeless. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
My name is Bob from Canada. I apologize for the lengthy email, but I think this can be used as a life lesson. I first picked up your work in 2015, after I was laid off and was desperately single. After following your advice and reinforcing the pickup and dating skills that I knew was effective, I found a great girl.
(Good for you dude. It’s your fucking birthright to have a great girl in your life, somebody who shares the same goals and values.)
And after searching and networking I found another job at a telecommunications company. BUT, that was short lived after I was let go from my job after two months. I wasn’t getting along with the person I reported to, I was given no time to learn my job, and after being disrespected, I was sent packing. I was floored, but thought I’m going to find a job in a couple months.
(Well, life is what happens to us when we’re busy making other plans. That’s where the infinite patience comes in. You’ve got to find a way to grind it out, to continue to take action, even when it feels hopeless.)
Months went by and I thought, I’ll find something soon.
(You’ve got to be optimistic, and you’ve got to believe things are going to turn around sooner rather than later. It really becomes an exercise in willpower when it doesn’t turn around sooner rather than later. You can quit and give up, or you can keep grinding. As Ray Lewis said, “My grind is my rest.”)
And then my unemployment insurance ran out. My savings were gone, my severance was used up and I had NO solid leads in a crappy economy.
I told my girlfriend, who lost it on me as she told me “I needed to worry.”
(Women want to feel safe and comfortable in a relationship with you as the leader.)
And Corey, it’s not in me to worry about life. It’s counter productive, and it doesn’t fix your problems.
(Exactly. That’s why it’s important to be so busy taking action, you don’t have time to worry. If you’re in a place in life where you feel worried and fearful about the future, the best cure for that is taking action. Whether you’re banging the phones or sending your resumes out and following up with them like I talk about in my article and video, “How To Get Any Job You Want,” you’ve got to have a system to look for another job.
If you’re persistent, you’re communicating to those potential employers that you’re different than 99.99% of everybody else that just emails or mails their resume in and waits for the phone to ring. Every employer wants low maintenance employees, people that make them look good, that don’t need any management, may need a little leadership, but other than that, they’re self-starters and they just handle shit.
Those are the kinds of people you want coming to work for you, and those kinds of people are typically the kind that call month after month and follow up, because they really want to work at your company, and they’re waiting around until something opens up. Or at the very least, following up with the top companies they want to work for, because they don’t want to settle for something mediocre.
They’ll remember your persistence. They’ll like that because, if you’re persistent with getting a job there, you’re going to be persistent in taking care of their customers.)
I had to ask my family for financial support, and I felt so awful.
(It’s kind of hard to feel like a man when you’ve got a girlfriend and you’re asking your family to help you out.)
When you’re a grown ass man, and you can’t even support yourself, life feels like it will never get better. I’d get the ODD job interview once a month, but it went nowhere because the market is so competitive, and I lacked procurement experience. It felt equally shitty when I networked like crazy and all people said was, “apply online,” “we have nothing available,” or the popular, no response.
It was well over a year, and I cried because my life was going nowhere, and even though my girlfriend hung by my side, life just felt like it wasn’t worth living.
(Well, give your girlfriend a hug and a kiss from me, and tell her how awesome she is because she stuck by you through all of that.)
I had to take up temping, doing construction jobs, cleaning and carrying goods.
(You adapted, you improvised, you overcame and you compensated. You found a way, not a way out.)
It felt so degrading, especially when I was doing this for minimum wage.
(I feel your pain. I’ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt multiple times. It sucks, but sometimes you have to do shit you hate in order to do what you love eventually.)
But I remember what you said in one of your videos: eventually you will get there, through time and repetition,
(That’s true. It’s a fundamental. A coach’s subject is the fundamentals. Not everybody blooms right away. Those who want it will eventually find a way, not a way out),
and I couldn’t let down all my friends and family who supported me. I worked through the pain knowing someday I’d get there, and I received a call for an interview, but didn’t get the job; UNTIL I called a buddy at the company who talked to his colleague, got me another interview, and I got hired.
(Your greatest resource is your resourcefulness. Instead of getting beat down, you thought to yourself, “What’s good about this? How can I learn from this? What are my resources? What other options do I have?”)
I was so happy that it was everything I wanted.
Please use my newsletter to let all your viewers know that even when life feels like a constant train wreck, if you keep pushing you will find what you’re looking for.
(It does say in the bible, “If you seek, you will find.”)
Have a plan, write down your goals, pray, network and do what you can every day, even if it seems pointless.
(“Stagnation happens when you die, life happens when you move.” ~ Panache Desai)
The gift of going through hard times is, it determines what you’re made of; makes you stronger and makes you appreciate all the small things in life.
(Yeah, the only reason I get to live in this beautiful place on the beach is because I didn’t fucking quit. I didn’t give up. I sure felt like it a lot of the time, and it went on and on for years and years and years. You can read about that in my second book, which will be released soon.)
Thank you Corey for your support, and now I move forward in my job and on to my next challenge: determining if my girlfriend of 2 years, who is uncertain about kids, is the one for me.
God Bless, you bald headed motherfucker.
“One of our six human needs is certainty. We need to know that we have a roof over our heads, can pay our bills, get what we want in life, etc. However, when we don’t have certainty about our future, we often will compromise our values and goals and settle for something that is less than ideal in order to gain some sense of certainty and comfort. Sometimes in life you have to do things you hate for a period of time until you can create the conditions that enable you to do what you love. Just like a minimum-wage entry level job should only be a temporary stepping stone in a long career, instead of a permanent destination, you should never stop working on your side hustle when you are forced to temporarily do something you hate until you can do what you love. Otherwise, settling for mediocrity will become a way of life and permanent condition, instead of a temporary stop on your long life journey.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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